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Anyone in my position?

Postby camilla » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:02 pm

Hello
We're hoping to start IVF in the autumn. I have "unexplained infertility" and although we have a five year old (who we had to wait for but arrived after treatment for mild endometriosis) we long for another child. After trying for a few years I had investigations which revealed there was no reason for us not to have a baby. I had a cycle of IUI earlier this year which was unsuccessful. Because of my age (38 this year) and the disapointment of the IUI we began to think of IVF because you're one step closer and as long as everthing goes ok you've just got to wait and see if the embryo implants. I think of it as if you're potentially pregnant whereas with IUI you still don't know if an egg has been fertilised. Also another reason for IVF is we don't know if perhaps my eggs are unsuitable. We have a choice of putting back one or two embryos and this is a difficult one because given the choice would I choose twins? Has anyone decided to only put one embryo back and do you know the success rates?
I know it's emotional and it feels good to be able to talk to others who are going through it.
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Postby cmg » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:34 pm

Hi Camilla and welcome to the boards.

You're right it is a very emotional process going through IVF and you'll find a lot of support, information and advice here.

I don't have experience of single embryo transfer but have recently faced a similar dilemma. I'm over 40 and can have 3 embryos put back. We had very good quality embryos and the idea of triplets is more than not our preference, it's just unthinkable. On balance, though we decided to go with it, as the chances were pretty small and we wouldn't mind twins, having no children at the moment. I don't know whether it's the right decision as I don't find out til next Thursday whether I'm pregnant or not.

In the end it's all a question of probabilities and weighing up the risk of not getting pregnant against the risk of twins. I've heard a figure of 25% of IVF pregnancies being twins but I don't know how accurate that is. You would need to get probabilities of a pregnancy from a single embryo vs prob of twins from 2 from your clinic, based on your age and other factors.

I also noticed at my clinic the other day there was a publication, I think from the National Infertility Network or some similar organisation, with a headline on the cover about Single Embryo Transfer. I didn't read it as it doesn't apply to me, but it might be worth digging out.

Anyway, good luck when you do start your treatmetnt

Caroline
me - 44, DH - 48

2002 ectopic (natural conception)
2004 1st IVF cancelled following brain seizure
2005 June/July 2nd IVF - negative
2005 Nov FET - postponed cos my Mum died
2006 - Feb FET planned, but neither frostie survived the thaw.
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Postby maybebaby » Fri Jul 08, 2005 3:31 pm

HI Camilla

We have also just started our first IVF cycle (I am also 38 and have "unexplained infertility") and have been given the choice of one or two embryos ... we decided for one - after a couple of weeks of indecision - we found this to be a very difficult choice with pro's and cons for both options and although asked for it we did not get much information in terms of success rates for either. We said that we would try the first time with one and then, if it was unsuccessful we would opt for two on our second attempt.

However, when we informed the hospital of our decision (for one) they actually said that they now have a new system whereby if we are happy for them to do so they will choose one or two based on the "quality" of the embryos. If the quality of one is really high then they will just place one but if the quality is "not so high" (doesn't sound too encouraging does it?!) they will place two back. We agreed to let them choose as we were pretty much undecided and felt that it seemed to offer the best possibility for success. We live in the Netherlands so I am not sure whether your hospital offers this option - they are usually pretty reticent to take any responsibility for such decisions.

Sorry that I can't give you any feedback as to what has happened as I am due for egg collection next week and thus don't even know yet if we will have any eggs which will be good enough to transfer! Our fingers toes and all other digits are crossed!

I hope this and other comments received help - good luck with your decision and your first attempt and I look forward to hearing how you get on.

have a good weekend ( to everyone!)

Maybebaby
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Postby Sand » Sat Jul 09, 2005 5:14 pm

Hi Camilla - Just a quick post to say Welcome to the Site. I don't have any experience of single transfer.

Good luck with whatever you decide ..

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
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Postby leigh » Sat Jul 09, 2005 6:26 pm

Hi Camilla
We had iui in April and have decided to go for ivf in October for same reasons as you. No reason for our infertility except I don't ovulate as often as I should. If you want a chat, here I am. :)

xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Me 33 DH 33
iui April 2005 -ve
ivf in October 2005
7/11/05 BFP!!!!!!!!!!
Jake born 31.7.06, the love of our lives
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Postby camilla » Tue Jul 12, 2005 10:53 am

I thought your comments really helped. Since finding this website and us deciding to have IVF I've had so many conflicting thoughts which I know need resolving. Like maybe we should give IUI another go as there is no physical reason why my body won't do what I want it to. But then I think if it doesn't work I'll feel we've lost more precious months and I can imagine me thinking "we should have gone for IVF". There seem to be quite a lot of people who have done IUI (on this site) whereas at the clinic we go to most of the women are doing IVF. Maybe this swayed us into opting for IVF. We have a planning session in August (with a view to starting treatment in the Autumn) but having this time to think is making my brain ache! I've been really aware of diet, lifestyle for months now and have been really good(!) and have had acupuncture as I heard it can help with fertility problems. I had an initial visit, then one two weeks later and now will go monthly. I found it relaxing and my acupuncturist is really knowledgable and understood everything about IUI/IVF. She's also a chiropractor and massaged my tummy. She seems to think diet plays a big part and that a lot of women are low on certain vitamins and minerals. But what gets me is that if I'm doing all the right things then why am I not getting pregnant! Especially when I know women who get pregnant without doing any of the above and in fact probably do the opposite of what we're told! I know my state of mind might play a part but I really have tried relaxing (and been to yoga). I'm sorry to go on but now I've started I can't stop! I also feel guilty for wanting a baby so much because we've got a little boy(5) and maybe I should be grateful for him and accept the situation but my heart's not ready to give up yet. Then I feel a bit of a fraud gabbing away here because a lot of you are trying to become mothers for the first time and there are reasons why you're doing assisted conception not just because it isn't happening naturally like me. I am genuinely happy for friends that have babies but when I read the statistics on assisted conception I think am I one of the failures. Then I feel guilty because if I was successful would it would mean someone else wasn't? Anyway that's probably enough for now! My husband and I do talk about it all but it's good to talk to women friends. Thanks for listening.
Me 38 DH 40
March 2005 cyle IUI abandoned
May 2005 cycle IUI unsuccessful
TTC 3 years - secondary infertility
IVF cycle Oct 05 - BFP!
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Postby cmg » Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:48 am

Hi Camilla

just wanted to reassure you that you've got as much right to treatment, support and sympathy as anyone else. The fact that you don't know why you can't get pregnant doesn't actually make it any less real. In fact, I think it must be even more frustrating than knowing what the problem is. Knowing my tubes are blocked means that my treatment options are cut and dried, whereas you have to deal with the uncertainty of IUI vs IVF vs doing all kinds of natural, alternative things and seeing if that works, which are big, tricky decisions. I also think that the desire for a second child can be as strong as the desire for a first (and I speak as someone with no children).

Also, stop giving yourself such a guilt trip around the statistics. There is no way that you getting pregnant would mean that someone else didn't. These are completely unrelated events. If you look on the General forum you'll see that the success rate for July has not been that good so far, so I went through a phase of thinking, well someone has to succeed, so maybe it'll be me. But this is just twisted logic. And it looks like it isn't going to be me (I test tomorrow but I've started bleeding). When I was a kid, my mother you to say to us that every third child born in the world was Chinese. Then she'd look at my brother, who was the third in our family, and say "it must be you then!". It is amazing how you can play around with statistics.

Use the support you'll find here - you're as deserving of it as anyone else.

Caroline

ps just a suggestion, but if you break your posts up into paragraphs it would make them easier to read.
me - 44, DH - 48

2002 ectopic (natural conception)
2004 1st IVF cancelled following brain seizure
2005 June/July 2nd IVF - negative
2005 Nov FET - postponed cos my Mum died
2006 - Feb FET planned, but neither frostie survived the thaw.
cmg
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Postby cmg » Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:26 pm

Hi Camilla, me again!

I've just re-read my previous post and thought it might sound like I was ticking you off. Just wanted to reassure you that I wasn't. We all have weird thoughts around IVF and feel guilty about things (I sometimes wonder if I'm entitled to do this because I'm 43) and I was really just wanting to point out that you needn't feel guilty. Not sure I got the tone right though!

Anyway, this is the right place to find support, when you're deciding which treatment to go for and once you start. The people on here are fantastic!

take care

Caroline
me - 44, DH - 48

2002 ectopic (natural conception)
2004 1st IVF cancelled following brain seizure
2005 June/July 2nd IVF - negative
2005 Nov FET - postponed cos my Mum died
2006 - Feb FET planned, but neither frostie survived the thaw.
cmg
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Postby lumi » Wed Jul 13, 2005 6:03 pm

Best wishes Camilla.....just wanted to add then many of the girl here already have a child....sometimes info is on the tickers soemtimes it isnt!


Love Lumi xxx
me 31 DH 33
3rd FET...BFP...TWIN GIRLS!!!
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Postby camilla » Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:10 am

Dear Caroline

Thank you for your messages, they really helped. I'm feeling happier and more positive than a couple of days ago. Writing things down helps to sort out your thoughts and I can see how the support of everyone helps when you're going through treatment.

Thinking of you.

Love Camilla
Me 38 DH 40
March 2005 cyle IUI abandoned
May 2005 cycle IUI unsuccessful
TTC 3 years - secondary infertility
IVF cycle Oct 05 - BFP!
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Postby JACKY JONES » Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:39 pm

hi everyone, im new to this so not sure wot goes on :after 8 years of being told there was nothing wrong with either of us and we should of heard the pitter patter of tiny feet by now,i finaly told the hospital we needed something doing. we were at last refered to liverpool for ivf treatment in april 05 after a quick push thru by some luck(maybe cos of our age me 38 and hubby 39) we started the treatment day after my 38th birthday 4th june. what a ordeal the injections were even tho all on my mind 24/7 was BABY BABY BABY it was sometimes hard to remember, come 6pm i would once again take myself up into the bedroom for my dose of the day,i only went out once before this time and had to take my needle and bits wiv me and had to go into a toilet feeling like junky annie trying to convince myself that it will all be worth it in the end. so after all the prodding and pokeing and struggle to get into my veins i am now 1 week into waiting for my test (22 july). i thought i couldnt think no more BABY BABY BABY but yep u guessed it i sure can. after reading this site and the comments ppl have left it has helped so much except i get a pain in the neck from sitting at comp for hrs on end reading all the usefull info. not sure if iv done this right and if it will ever reach the msg board,im sure if it has ill get a reply.....thank u again to everyone for the great info and just making a site work so well look forward to hearing from someone soon....jacs x x x[/i][/b]
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Postby LittleP » Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:55 pm

Jacs

Gosh, already in the 2ww - welcome here and you'll find it a true lifeline to sanity at the moment.

On the General Forum you will find a thread for people in the July 2ww - this is where other girls are sharing their experiences as they go through this time. You might find it helpful to jump in there and chat to some of the others.

I will keep everything crossed that in a week's time you get some fantastic positive news.

Take care of yourself, get plenty of rest, keep talking to the little ones and remain positive at all times.

Big hugs and loads of Baby Dust

Little P
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Postby Sand » Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:30 am

Hi Jacs - Good to have you on board ! As LP says - go over to the July 2ww thread on the General Forum. You'll find others in the same position, and you can chat about your every twinge !

Good luck - we'll add your name to the July Test Date thread.

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
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