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3 months after miscarriage

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3 months after miscarriage

Postby yorkie » Wed Oct 05, 2005 6:25 am

had a miscarriage 3 months ago. I'm pretty tough but I cried for a week. am still bursting into spontaneous tears at the most stupid things.

Am in the process of organising another go at IVF (long story but Ihad to change clinics due to a funding issue). Am absolutly paranoid that my one pregnacy will be the only one ever.

am very sad at the moment because my new clinic told me my FSH levels are too high and this means I'm unlikely to suceed. She would not explain further but the info I've found on my own seems very negative. The fact that I have had successful implantation did not seem to give her much hope.

For the first time am starting to feel that I can't keep going on with this.Only one close friend knows all this but she does not understand and admits it (better then all those people that say they can imagine how it feels....)

This is a very miserable message. Can't help it. I've never been so miserable.

How do other people cope? Does it get better?

Yorkie
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Postby DebraP » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:12 am

Hi Yorkie, I can't say it gets better, maybe just easier to live with. It might be the oldest cliche but time IS a great healer.

Many of us on here have suffered m/c or other hard to accept problems along the way. Many times we want to know why me, why now? There aren't many answers but at least on here we DO understand and we really do have experience to back up our support. I had an ectopic in May and that hurt like hell, I'd managed to get pregnant and thought we'd crossed the first hurdles, to be pregnant in the wrong place (esp. as I'd been sterlised and my tubes should have been completely shut off) seemed the most unfair thing in the world.

The grief does pass or at least we learn how to handle it better. I cried yesterday in Ikea at the sight of a tiny baby girl, she was soooo beautiful. It just gets to you sometimes.

High FSH...there's a specific thread about that on the General Forum, look low on the first page, maybe on the 2nd page already, called 'High FSH/low responders' or similar.

There are plenty of women on here who understand your feelings so don't feel you need to bottle things up. There's also a great thread running right now called 'unsociable', all about how lost and lonely this process can be. Join in and it will help reassure you that you're never alone on here.

hth
Debra
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
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Postby DeniseM » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:10 pm

Hi Yorkie.

I lost my baby this year in May too. It's a tough go, but it does get easier.
I don't think you ever forget, but honestly, I don't want to. This baby will always live in my heart.

Have you given your baby a name?

Maybe you could use the internet. I know some of the women on this site have managed to get their FSH levels to drop.

Again, I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't give up hope. We all have our bad days.
IUI twins ~ July 2006
IUI singleton ~ due Jan 15 2009
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Postby ogr1 » Thu Oct 06, 2005 9:35 pm

i am so sorry for your heart ache.
and at times it will seem like you just cant go on.
for these times try and hold on to the fact that you where pregnant.
i had my first mc 23 years ago. i will never forget how i felt and the tourment that i have had to endure.

deb and Denise gave you some great advice..
naming my children and planting trees in there names have helped me.

i can now look out at my sons grave and have peace.
i know longer wish to be dead.

the friends that i have met on here and my wonderful husband and my heavenly father have pulled me out of a darkness.
and i can can see the happiness that i am so very lucky to have.
a very good friend from here wrote to me and said that the death of our children is like a wound the wound heals but it will forever leave a scar.
i will never forget my children which i had inside me and where taken from me. and i cant tell you when i became ok .
but i can tell you that you need to find a r4eason to smile every day and a reason to laugh. our children would not want us to keep this type of pain every day. every day of the death of my children i cry and i hurt and i alllow myself to do that.

i hope that this has made some sence ..
your friend becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
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naming my baby

Postby yorkie » Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:48 pm

thanks for the suggestion that I give my baby a name. We both thought it was a boy although there is no logical reason for thinking this. I have decided to call the baby Michael after my sister Michaela.

Thanks for your advice. Am having a relatively good week. (Three days in row with no tears)

Yorkie
me:33 DH 49 m+F factors
1st ICSI may 2005 m/c at 9 weeks.

Next ICSI March 2006 (seems ages to go)
yorkie
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Posts: 20
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Location: north lincolnshire

Postby ogr1 » Wed Oct 12, 2005 5:42 pm

keep hanging in there..
its almost the day when we found out that we where pregnant with our twins...

it is important to pause but it is also important to put one foot in front of another..
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm


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