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getting through xmas & new year

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getting through xmas & new year

Postby donna99 » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:19 pm

hi everyone,

ive only posted once under introductions...but so so glad to have found all you girls out there (and guys of course we cant forget you!)

incase you havent read my background, im 30 got very mild endometriosis, been TTC for 4 years...

had 1 IUI cancelled due to OHSS, 2 failed IUIs, 1 cancelled IVF due to OHSS, 3 failed IVF attempts. inbetween those failed 3 attempts i had one natural conception and miscarried at 7 weeks 6 days and have been going thru hell since, feel like everyone forgot about it now as it was in feb '05...

no major problems really with myself, the private clinic im under says i just need a bit of luck as i respond to drugs etc well! frustrating really! weve spent about £10k, but you cant put a price on a baby i know...

anyway, should have been starting FET again in November '05 but have decided to postbone until jan as when previous treatments have failed in december it always makes xmas & new year seem one billion times worse!!!! dont suppose i want to set myself up for another fall in december really, but dont want to put others off!!!! i just cant stand it when...
everyone is celebrating xmas, etc and you want to scream what about me from the rooftops!!!!!!

so my DH has arranged for us to go and stay with friends over the xmas period abroad and try ourselves between now and then, you never know i suppose...

last month was when my baby should have been due so ive felt quite bad lately, sorry to drone on and on.....

just glad to have met up with you guys who totally understand all of the ups and downs and simply the hell of the merry go round that we girls get on and can never get off.....

i wish all of you the luck in the world who are waiting for test results, esp Debra P who seems to be the first one to reply to new introductions and is there with her help and advice to all & if i can be of any advise to anyone atall ever dont hesitate to contact me...

thoughts with you all,

love donna99 xxxxxx
Posts: 105
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:17 am


Postby DebraP » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:34 pm

how can I not reply to that? thanks Donna!

Christmas is always really tough full stop, without the extra pressure of another year slipping by and our expectations for the new. Giving yourselves a break sounds fabulous, as does ttc naturally before then and who knows maybe being abroad for the holidays will add spice too :wink:

Before you leave the January if not the Feb board will be up and running. Most of us love the companionship of chatting with others and I know I'm not alone to find it essential when going through the rigours of tmt. You're spot on, this IS the place to offload and rant and rave. Where else is there? We do understand how crappy it all is at times, how unbelievably cruel fate can be and how unthinking friends and relatives are at times.

Good luck with your plans for the rest of the year here's an early toast (with a cup of tea) to a wonderful 2006 for all us.

Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2784
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:40 pm

Postby Jeni Babes » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:52 pm

Hi Donna sweetie,

you have had such a hard time, emotionally you have been going through the mill...

It takes such a long time to cope with a miscarriage...My first one was 2 years ago and I still have a good bubble at times about it. I found it hard as everyone ( my family esp) kept trying to get me to focus on the future, but I knew i needed to let go of the grief first before trying again.

You sound like you know what you need and if you are posponing until jan than it's for a good reason. We talk a lot about PMA ( positive Mental attitude) on the site. There is documented evidence that suggests that a good frame of mind and happy healthy body all help to keep a better fertility rate. As well as to help keep a hold of those embies after ET. ( embryo transfer).

you have had such a difficult time. I have just come back from hols after a failed ivf it helped me so much. I am sure that staying with friends will help you too.

anyway what i came on to say to you was if you cut and paste the above post of yours and re-post it on the general forum, more people will read it and be able to give you more support. That's if you want to?

Big hugs Donna,

Jeni Babes

Postby Sand » Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:13 am

Hi Donna .. Welcome to the Site. Sorry to hear you've been through so much already. I'm hoping to cycle around that time too, so we may be cycle buddies. In the meantime, taking your mind off things by time away sounds like a great idea to me.

There's no reason why next cycle won't be successful ... that's the start of the PMA, eh ?

Lots and lots of luck

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Board Veteran
Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

Postby LittleP » Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:18 am


Firstly, welcome here. I'm sure you'll find it amazingly supportive and helpful over the coming weeks.

I can't believe how much you've already been through. I can totally understand why you are leaving it until January to try again - you never know what might happen between now and then!!!

Wishing you loads and loads of luck and sending big hugs your way.

Come and join the threads on the General Forum when you are ready.

Little P
Board Veteran
Posts: 6173
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:15 pm

hi sand, little p & jen & debra p

Postby donna99 » Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:41 am

hi girls,

thanks so much all for your words of encouragement dont feel isolated & alone anymore....

sand, where about do you live and which hospital are you under? so we can compare notes as you live in lancashire too!

praying for you deb on the 20th!

thanks again, speak to you all again soon in the general forum site,

donna99 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posts: 105
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:17 am

new 'desperate to be mum' on the block

Postby caitlin » Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:37 pm

Hi, Have just joined after having our first cycle of i.v.f abandoned, have been saying i need to talk since we started but have not had courage and felt like i should cope!

Well, i am at crisis point at the moment head is all over the place.

Have had ectopic and miscarriage in past, and today i.v.f was abandoned was initially feeling like a complete failure of a woman, couldnt even produce enough eggs!! also i was due to egg share and my heart goes to my proposed recipient as she must be gutted moreso.

The irony of all this is after me and my husband had come to terms that chances of us ever having our own child were going to very slim. My husband being (there must be a logical reason for this)found out that the purogen gun has not been working properly!! not pushing the drugs in apparently this has happened before.

we should have realized, cant believe we have to start all over again, although i know that there are many of you that have had to go through this several times,
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:41 pm

Postby souris » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:12 pm

Oh Caitlin dear!!

From what I understand, your IVF cycle was stopped because you did not have any eggs.... because of the purogen gun?
I cant imagine how upseting it can be... But what is reassuring is that you did not have eggies not because the tmt did not work, but because the gun did not work properly...
Which means that you probably will have many eggies on the next try!!

I hope you are not giving up now... And dont blame yourself!
Take good care and try to feel positiv for your next cycle

lots of love

Donna, welcome!
I am also waiting for x mas and new year to be over to start my 2nd ICSI. I thought it would be better and i will be more relaxed. I have to say that some days I would like the TMT to start as soon as possible, but I really think that waiting for a month or 2 is for the best.

Good luck and take care
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
Posts: 977
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 2:16 pm

Postby Jeni Babes » Tue Oct 18, 2005 10:17 pm

you have been through the mill. My heart goes out to you as it's all such a let down. Big hugs to you and DH.

About your post...Don't quite know what happened here but you seem to have posted onto the back of Donna's post.
If you copy your post then paste it on a new topic on the general forum you may reach more people. there are loads more of us on the general forum and maybe some of them have had a similar experience. you'll defo get more feedback.

hope this helps

Jeni Babes

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