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not quite walking and talking yet -should I worry?

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not quite walking and talking yet -should I worry?

Postby Juliana » Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:02 am

hey girls,
My lovely Alex and Nadia are still needing a hand to walk around and the talking is not going so fast, admittedly we are trying to teach them both Dutch (their dad) and Bulgarian (me and the nanny). They say mama and papa but don't always link it to us, I am afraid. they are 13 months now and I am a tiny bit worried, should I be? Would love to hear your experiences?
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Postby DebraP » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:08 am

Juliana, you mustn't worry so much!

The old saying is 'walking by one, talking by two'. If your two are already cruising on the furniture at 13m this is well on the way. They are obviously taking their time, perfecting their art and waiting to run into your arms! Maya never crawled and didn't take one step until she was nearly 21 months. The health authorities said they only start to get interested if by 18m they've shown no interest. In our case, we had the world's fastest butt-scooter who got everwhere she wanted by sliding on her bottom! We later found out she has flat feet but I think it was primarily my bad habit of sitting her up before she was ready. I also probably didn't push 'tummy time' enough either. No matter....she's a super, speedy running child now....as will the twins be very soon and you'll wonder why you ever wished they could walk!

Re. talking. Bilingual children are definitely slightly slower to talk. I've got one so have read a bit about this. As long as there is one primary language for the child to base its learning on (probably Bulgarian in your case), Alex and Nadia will quickly get there. Maya is super chatty and now at 2.5 is almost fluent in both. We we notice new things all the time. This weeknd she started using time concepts like 'earlier, afterwards and maybe later'. DF has just walked in and told me an annecdote from nursery yesterday. Maya was telling someone about the 'swimming pool' when they asked what that meant, Maya sighed and said it in Norwegian, 'svømmehallen'. We didn't know she could do this but knew she switches between the two with us already. Give your babies time, good talking before 2 isn't that common, bilingual defintely slower. One thing I've always done is made sure that any DVDs that Maya watches are in the 2nd language (in our case English). She is in full time Norwegian nursery and DF only uses Norwegian with her so we boost her English with books and Teletubbies, Wiggles, Fimbles, Bear in the Big Blue House, Thomas the Tank Engine etc.

hth
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Me: 44, DH: 31
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Postby Jules R » Tue Nov 08, 2005 9:47 pm

Don't worry Juliana, although it's difficult not to. Daniel walked at 12 months but Charlotte was almost 16 months when she walked. And the talking will happen. I have typical late developing twins as far as talking goes and they're both on a speech therapy programme (but not having to see the speech therapist). But a lot of children don't start to talk properly until they're nearer to two than one.

Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
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Postby BelB » Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:24 am

Hey Julianna,

You're a worrier like me..it's hard not to with babies isn't it!
I have good friends with babies who have walked anywhere between 9 months (seriously) and two years. These bubs came well before Annie (you know what it's like when you're ttc and EVERYONE seems to be having babies), so I saw such variance and I guess accepted that this is entirely normal.

From my persepective, lateish walking isn't such a bad thing. Annie has NO sense of danger and really isn't cognitively ready to be walking. I really have to keep SUCH a close eye on her now, she gets into things without having any awareness of the implications of what she is doing. I feel that if she was older this might be somewhat easier (though maybe someone with an older child might think otherwise..any thoughts on that one Debra?)

I have a good friend who is quite a senior Speech pathologist, she has twin girls and they had quite late speech development. She always said that it was normal for twins to take a bit longer because they speak / babble to each other in their own kind of language and don't necessarily feel that same level of motivation to speak in a grown up form of english (or whatever the primary language is). Her girls are now three and very very chatty and developmentally quite within normal range.

Hope you're doing OK.
Take good care
B
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Postby Juliana » Wed Nov 09, 2005 12:56 pm

Hi Debra, Jules and Bel,
As usual, your responses have reassured me tremendously, I am really happy to have your expert opinions on this! I am not too worried but it helps to be able to share and I still find I trust more women on this site than any other mothers. I find it difficult to relate to mothers in my surrounding - must be still the IVf experience and the feeling that the best possible advice and expertise are found from you guys.

I 've also read up on language factors and I am aware that we have two slow down factors against us in terms of talking - 2 languages in use (in fact three, as dp and I speak English to each other, how mad is our household :) ) and the twinship. They are really interacting with each other now which happens by means of the sound a pronounced with a million different intonations ( as in 'a' - there is a plane in the sky or ''a' I want some of this yoghurt and so on) - maybe they will start with Chinese...

Bel, its interesting what you say about Annie having no sense of danger, Alex is like this, he just pokes his head everywhere and then tumbles and falls and does not remember that he was hurt and does it again. But Nadia has always been more cautious, so it may be nature and not development - she always watches what she holds on to and where she steps! I guess Annie might be just quite daring which I like in theory but as with Alex I am sure it causes you no end of worry and stress.
Jules, do you think that Daniel walked earlier beacsue he was the stronger - as a boy - who was born bigger of the two?- I don't remember how big your twins were born, with us Alex was bigger and stayed this way and is also stronger. he is the one more stable at his feet right now and making a few steps alone when he is encouraged.
What does the speach therapy program entail?
Debra, I love these language feats of Maya's, I am really hoping that mine will be like this one day. the problem with us is that there is not so much Bulgarian material to reinforce the Bulgarian language, I better find it when I am there for Christmas. But the nanny and I both talk Bulgarian to them and I hope to have that established before I start bringing them to the creche some time around their second birthday when Ducth might overwhelm. I am afraid all they watch is the BBC news with us - I wonder if I am confusing them further with BBC English, poor souls?
On the positive side, we have quite a lot of teeth - I just discovered yesterday Nadia grew 3 back row (wisdom?) teeth without us even noticing in addition to the 8 she has in front! Alex also 's got 8, when he gets them we notice as he gets quite cranky!
love to you all and the lovely kids,
Juliana
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Postby Jules R » Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:54 pm

Hi Juliana

Yes, Daniel probably walked first because he was bigger. He crawled first, but only by a week or two. He was actually the smaller of the two at birth (6lb 2 compared to Charlotte's 6lb 4, sorry don't know the kg conversion) but he was bottlefed so quickly overtook breastfed Charlotte. At the same age that Alex and Nadia are, he was significantly bigger than Charlotte (she's pretty similar in size to him, these days).

As for the speech therapy, they both have very different issues. Daniel can't pronounce simple consonant sounds which involve pressing the lips together - m, p, f - and we have some simple exercises to do with him, although he's not really interested even though one of them is licking chocolate spread off his lips! Charlotte has a more complex problem - she learned some aspects of speech too quickly and speaks in a manner more like an adult than a child. We're having to teach her simple sentence structure by asking her lots of questions about anything and everything and modelling simple replies. She's making more progress than Daniel but still has quite a way to go. I'm not sure that either of their problems is related to her being a twin but who knows?

Take care.

Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
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Postby BelB » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:09 am

Hi Julianna,

I'm glad that you feel reassured somewhat by everyones responses. I know completely what you mean about feeling a particular bond or connection with women who have shared a similar fertility experience. Our old foe infertility never truly dissapears I think, and it must (I feel anyway) have some influence on how we partent. I get quite emotional (but then maybe all parents do?). This morning Annie heard the "Play School" theme start and jumped up on her feet and started dancing (well I think that was what she was trying to do??). Tears welled in my eyes immediately, I thought how lucky am I to have this amazing little person in my world..and thank GOODNESS for IVF. I have a couple of friends who have babies via assisted reproductive technolgy of some means and I feel closer to them, I feel they understand me and my journey to get to this point.

You raise a good point about infant weight and mobility. Annie was nine pounds born by elective c-section at 39 weeks (too posh to push clearly!) and has always been very stable and strong in relation to her gross motor activity. This might correlate with Alex's more advanced mobility given that he was the heavier of the two??..would make an interesting PhD topic (just in our spare time of course!!)..

Take care
B
P.S. I think you're amazing (and Debra) with your multilingual homes and babies. Australians tend to just speak english, so this sounds terribly exotic to me!
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Postby Juliana » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:11 pm

Hi Jules,
Thanks for taking the time to explain about Daniel and Charlotte, it sounds quite fascinating really how he got bigger because he was bottlefed. Could be also the gender factor, although if they are the same size now this is not so logical. Mine were both fed mixed, breast and bottle for as long as I had milk which was not that long, 7 weeks and a bit, used to feel very guilty about it but since they have been happy and healthy I stopped feeling so bad. But the important thing is that Alex has stayed a kilo and a bit heavier than Nadia although this did not prevent her from crawling two months before him. So I guess I just have to accept they will walk in their own good time and that's that. Are yours back to being little angels or are they still behaving like the terrible twos you described in one post? Are you back to work or full time with them? I remember you are a mathematician. Speech exercises sound not too bad, although I cannot imagine what the problem is with Charlotte talking like an adult? Sounds pretty clever to me?
Bel,
Like you I am convinced it affects our parenting that we have been through the IVF experience. maybe we worry more although after the pregnancy I found everyting easier and relaxed considerably (despite my sometimes worried posts). I also find myself moved almost to tears when they do something cute and feel a surge of feeling of being so grateful to have them. I can just imagine Annie dancing. Alex danced the whole summer to the Beatles (swung his butt on the floor in tune and with a big smile on his face). Now they both grab the bars and jump sort of in tune when I put music on. They soon lose concentration but I find it hilarious.
I think another interesting inheritance of the IVF process and the information excahnge through this site, I tend to be quite science oriented, always trying to arm myself with as much info as possible about child issues. So a phd in weight/development related issues would have been handy, the one I have in political science does not help much :) But in another way I have found that personal experiences are more powerful inspiration than any bunch of statistics, so many times I have read something from the experiences of women on this site and it has helped me to make up my mind what to do and to deal with whatever was bothering me better than any books and internet. anyway I am getting too philosphical here so I'll stop, but just to tell you tha sometimes I think our multilingual household means we don't speak any language properly and we will all end up communicating in 'a' sounds and pointing a lot.
love,
juliana
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Postby BelB » Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:04 am

Julianna,
Annie says "da" and points. It can mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, from "look at that butterfly" to "pick me up please". They can say so much in that one word!
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