IVF-Infertility.com home

July/August Mummies

Forum for those who have undergone successful treatment, and wish to share their experiences of parenthood.

Postby Dawn V » Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:33 pm

Hi Jackie
Your right we did cycle together early 2004 god that seems like an age ago - where does the time go!
Josh will be 1 on the 23 Oct and I can't believe my baby is turning into a little boy! I still wish I'd felt better in the early weeks but you can't turn the clock back so I just enjoy every day with him now (well most of it)!!!
You must have been SO pleased that Joshua wanted you to comfort him - see it just goes to show what a wonderful mum you are to him. I agree it was good for your dh to get a taste of what its really like with a crying baby!! Doesn't do them any harm does it?!!
I'm sorry to hear that your family think that you should pull yourself together - i think the older generation can be ignorant about pnd and baby blues and I really do think that the majority of new mums have had it at some point whether it be a few weepy days or months of it.
I felt worse for the first 2-3 weeks as was very sore and absolutley exhausted as had no sleep for 3 nights before Josh was born due to very long labour!
Just try and remember that you are halfway there as your doing something about and getting help rather than trying to ignore how you feel.
Have a fantastic holiday and enjoy your time away with no other pressures - you deserve it.
love
Dawn
xxx
Dawn V
Regular
 
Posts: 234
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2003 4:28 pm
Location: Norfolk

Sponsor
 

Postby sophiejane » Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:59 pm

hi all,
just a quickie as freya is on my lap. wow time is flying by, and sorry i haven't posted for a while. i seem to be out and about most days as i find freya sleeps so well in her buggy / car seat that its easier out than staying at home. i am still breastfeeding but it hasn't got any easier, so nowthat she is 12 weeks i'm starting to wean off the breast. my boobs get so enlarged and sore so i will have to do it slowly.
i am very lucky and freya is sleeping through from 8pm to 7am. I dont quite know how or why she just did it. Maybe it was the cranial massage thing??!!
Its now about 2 hours later and freya is asleep in her cot, so I'm able to write abit more.

She is such a delight, but there are still days when I find her so exhausting that i can't wait to hand her over to her daddy when he comes home from work. Being a parent is such hard work .... and even though we have all tried so hard to have a baby and spent years trying, it still doesn't take away the fact that at times I just want to walk away from her and have my own space for a while.
Jackie, you are a very articulate and brave woman, and it sounds like you spend more quality time with Joshua than I do with Freya. I hope your appetite and sleep increases soon.
Toni .. my god how have you found time to post on here!!! You must be super organised mum. The twins sound like they are doing amazingly. Thomas is bigger than Freya, as she's only 10.7 lbs.
Kim, I massage Freya twice a day. She adores it, and so do I. Its really helped with her pooing. She used to go 5-7 days without a poo, but since I massage her tummy shes been going every other day.
Jen, blimey you seem to have your hands full with Indira. How is she now, are you manmaging to get any rest?? I still thinkthat Indira is a lovely name. We must post some pictures soon of all our babes.
Well better go, as she's due a feed so will wake up soon.
From Soph
Me 33 dp 30
me tubal damage
ist ivf Feb04 -ive
fet July04 -ive
ivf Nov04 +ive twins, but sadly one twin died at 10 weeks gestation. Freya born 21st July 2005. She's amazing!
sophiejane
Regular
 
Posts: 331
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:03 pm
Location: Ringwood, Hants

Postby eacole » Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:54 pm

Hi everyone,

Finally posting though I'm sure eeryone unerstands! YES, is it hard work!! Zach needs me constantly and feeds every hour and a half-he doesn't ever seem to be completely satisfied. Last weigh in he hadnt put more than one oz and a half on so alittle concerned witht he breast feeding. I don't think he latches on quite as well as he should, but he was putting weight on in the beginning so don't know what it could be...might need to supplement wioth formula if he doesn;t gain enough weight next time...though I don't want to readily admit it to myself this has me feeling a bit like a failure, as he was doing so well early one..I might try cranial massage because Zach has a tendency to sometimes cry and arch his back and neck when he goes to feed, he does get alot of gas, though seems to be out of his colic stage for the most part. Does the cranila massage help with this, SophieJ?

Can I just say that I envy you sophie J??? My baby does not sleep more than 20 minutes unless I nap with him..I've tried putting him in his own cot but he wakes up screaming th ehouse down..the longest he was in his own cot sleeping was an hour one day, never to be repeated. The only time he sleeps is when I go to bed at night around 10 pm and we wake up at 7 am, mind you he sleeps with us! Add to that that he feeds still throughout the early morning hours, ,around 2 aM, 5am, then 6 am, 7 am!! I am always exhausted...he is a paarticularly long baby but still, I get overwhelmed with it all sometimes..thanks for thinking of me Jackie, don't listen to your family PND is very real and noone who has it is personally responsible for having it..anyone can get it..you're doing so incredibly well, please believe it!

Sorry but I have to go as Zach has waken fron his nap (he knows when I'm no longer there beside him). Just to say, I'v ebeen avoiding this board a bit because I feel like such a failure in that Zach is the only baby that has to sleep with his parents and does not sleep on his own...I try not to feel this way, but there it is..but he is my baby, unique, i have to accept that he is just not independent enough, and really, while I know that that is normal, he is an infant after all, only 9 1/2 weeks, it is just so hard sometimes and I can't understand why my baby is so different, as if I'm doing something wrong... And that is just ridiculous I know!!

Love to all,
Elizabeth
eacole
Regular
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 10:36 am
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Postby Kim » Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:27 pm

Dear Elizabeth

Please don't think you're failing in any way. Thomas was held and cuddled all night until he was 9/ 10 weeks old. He wakes to be fed at 11pm, 2am and 4am, even now at 15 weeks old, and never goes back into his cot after the 4am feed and occassionally has to come into our bed after the 2am feed if he won't settle.
I've got used to the 2am and 4am feeds and am very lucky because my DH takes over from 5am until 7am so I can get a couple of hours uninterupted sleep before the start of each day ( DH doesn't wake at 2am and 4am so normally gets a decent nights sleep so is more than happy to do his bit at 5am - bless him !!! )

Also, during the day Thomas will only sleep if I hold him - so please don't think you're alone there !! I'm much more relaxed about it all now - if Thomas needs to be held then that's fine, like you say, some babies just need to be close to their mums for extra comfort. I tend to tape all my favourite TV programmes in the evenings, go to bed early and then watch my programmes when Thomas is asleep on me the next day.

This phase won't last forever, Thomas has a sleep in the morning and a sleep in the afternoon ( on me ) and feeds around every 3 hours now ( it used to be every hour/ hour and a half just like Zach. ) Some days he'll sit in his bouncy chair or have a kick about on his play mat quite happily and other days he wants more attention, so there I am dancing, singing and making stupid faces/ noises, probably looking like some demented idiot :lol: , to keep him entertained !!

It will get easier - I promise, and in the meantime please know that you're not a failure, you're giving Zach all the love and attention he needs and that will help him grow into a more confident baby in time.

Love

Kim
Kim
Regular
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:50 am

Postby Jackie S » Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:32 am

Elizabeth

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

I was not allowed to breastfeed (on too many meds) and I feel guilty that I'm unable to have that closeness BUT you have been feeding Zach every 90 minutes for 9 1/2 weeks so believe me you are not a failure. In our classes we were told most people give up within the first 4 weeks.

Man! do I know about the unable to put down stage. Joshua hasn't been in another room to either of us yet. All through the day he screams constantly but after a few whimpering moments he calms down and falls asleep on me on the sofa. If I try and move him he wakes, if I try to move my arm etc he wakes (it is so bad I can't even go to the loo because he screams). If I so much as try and go into another room...he cries. He doesn't go down at a set time -just when we go to bed he wakes up (john and him are zzzzzzzzzzz from about 10 pm on the sofa). He honestly won't use his bouncer, swing, hates the car seat etc so he has to be comforted -i have tried everything!

I think this is one of the factors of my problems being unable to have anytime apart. I am about to have a bath before John goes to work (I want one so badly -Sunday last one) John has one everyday -while I 'watch' the baby. I get 20 minutes to myself when John comes home and then I am doing everything. I feel like I am getting no help from John (apart from making up Joshua's bottles). I keep telling I can't cope but.....nothing. I have been trying to get everything ready for holiday, comfort a screaming baby and sort the house out -I've done 20 loads of washing this last week -decided to have a clearout.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you having to breastfeed too. I think that because our precious babies were so wanted -at least a few years for all of us. We build up a mental picture of what life will be like, all the things we are going to do etc and then when our babies arrive we want to be 'perfect' mothers and cherish everything. We know how amazingly lucky we all our and when the reality strikes home of what a young baby is really like, we all have that sense of failure. The truth being told there is no perfect mother out there so do whatever is easier for you and Thomas if that means taking a little top up milk -remember it won't harm him -you've given him that head start and it might just do the trick.

Maybe, you could talk to your healthvisitor -mine has arranged for a 'buddy' to call for 2 hours on a Monday, we have a chat while she holds Joshua. When I feel ready she will look after him while I can have a bath or a lay down. Your health visitor might be able to get you a 'buddy' she could look after Thomas while you have an hour or so resting or even somebody to talk to who has had similar experiences, or talk to her about total rubbish she won't mind.

Don't know if this has helped but remeber we all care and thinking about you. Everybody has been so kind since I admitted PND and I am sure you will find the same -and it does help knowing people care.

Jackie

Ps Does anyone know how Valli is?
Me 36 husband 38. Been together for over 16 years.
2000 -2003 Clomid
Sept - Oct 03 IVF abandoned due to poor response.
Dec -Feb 04 IVF early m/c
Sept -Nov 04 IVF ++++

10 July 2005 -Our precious son Joshua James was born.
Jackie S
Regular
 
Posts: 183
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:54 am
Location: Warwickshire, England

Postby Jackie S » Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:34 am

Elizabeth

Just re-read message and realised I kept calling Zach -Thomas. I am so sorry.

Jackie
Me 36 husband 38. Been together for over 16 years.
2000 -2003 Clomid
Sept - Oct 03 IVF abandoned due to poor response.
Dec -Feb 04 IVF early m/c
Sept -Nov 04 IVF ++++

10 July 2005 -Our precious son Joshua James was born.
Jackie S
Regular
 
Posts: 183
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:54 am
Location: Warwickshire, England

Postby eacole » Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:02 pm

dear Kim and JAckie,

You've both made me feel so much better about things..it is good to know I am not alone..Jackie, since my husband went back to work he has been so busy and I undertand how tiring it can be basically taking care of all the domestic work..My baby has just woken up so I'm basicallt typing with one hand now while I hold him with the other..thank you again for your e-mails..I feel confident that you are both right, that I'm giving Zach exactly what he needs, he just farted..sooo cute...I love him dearly and really wouldn't want him any other way..well, maybe a few adjustments.. :D

lots of love and bless you both for your kind words,
elizabeth
eacole
Regular
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 10:36 am
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Postby sophiejane » Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:31 am

Now I feel guilty that you all cuddle your babies to sleep. Freya wont let me cuddle her when she is really tired. She wiggles, and squirms and cries until I put her down. Once down she then goes to sleep.
They are all so different. Freya's just woken so I better go.
I'll post again soon
Me 33 dp 30
me tubal damage
ist ivf Feb04 -ive
fet July04 -ive
ivf Nov04 +ive twins, but sadly one twin died at 10 weeks gestation. Freya born 21st July 2005. She's amazing!
sophiejane
Regular
 
Posts: 331
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:03 pm
Location: Ringwood, Hants

Postby sophiejane » Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:18 pm

where is everyone????? hope you and your babies are well. I am shattered. some days are fabulous and some days are just so hard. its the toughest job i've ever had. her giggles make up for all her miserable times. i can't believe i go back to work in 7 weeks time. in a way though i am looking forward to going back to work......it will certainly be easier than looking after a baby. toni .... it must be doubly hard for you!!!!
HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO POST SOON
FROM SOPH
Me 33 dp 30
me tubal damage
ist ivf Feb04 -ive
fet July04 -ive
ivf Nov04 +ive twins, but sadly one twin died at 10 weeks gestation. Freya born 21st July 2005. She's amazing!
sophiejane
Regular
 
Posts: 331
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:03 pm
Location: Ringwood, Hants

Postby Toni » Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:17 pm

Twins lovelier every day but yes, it is hard work. Charlotte is almost sitting on her own, she smiles so much its really sweet, and makes lots of noises. Thomas has been a little slower but now hes smiling and cooing away with his sister. One of the hardest things i had to do was move them into the nursery away from us, but it is also one of the best things! Now they are in their cots we all get much better sleep. Yet i only did it because i had such a bad cough that i kept waking them up as well as Geoff.... the first few nights i was trotting in and out whenever i woke to make sure they were all right! Thomas sleeps through til 7.30am most mornings now - hes such a good lad! Charlotte is still not quite there but sleeping til 5.30am is still pretty impressive. I just argue that she misses her Mummy and wants extra cuddles so cries for a feed.
Glad you are okay Sophie - where is everyone else?!!

Toni x
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
Regular
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 8:27 am

Postby Susan L » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:11 pm

hi everyone

it has been a very long time since i last posted but i do read alot I just dont get a chance to write.

you all sound like you are doing so well so many defferent experiences with parent hood one thing i do know its not easy and very hard work but time just seems to be going so quick cant believe mine are going to be 5 months in a couple of weeks and christmas is coming very excited about the twins first christmas.

toni would really like to share experience as you had your twins the day after i had mine thats of course if we find the time im finding blake is a couple of days behind his sister she always does things first though he is more layed back she is the chatter box and she dont keep still.

sorry got to cut this short kirsten is shouting at me for some attention

hope all is well with you all

take care

sue
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
Susan L
Regular
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:02 am
Location: W London uk

Postby Toni » Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:28 pm

Hi sue

Congratulations!!! Its hard work being a twin mum isn't it?! But so rewarding and lovely at the same time..........

I see you made it to 35 weeks? Mine only just made it to 34 wks. i went into labour at 32 wks but they managed to hold me off thank goodness.....

How are both your little ones doing? I know what you mean about christmas. Our sets of twins will be at about the 6 month mark then. Not old enough to understand christmas, so we are not making a huge deal out of it this year, but they will have developed enough focus and attention to notice a huge green sparkly thing suddenly appearing (Tree!), im sure they will sit and stare for hours!!! It will be interesting to see whether they will be crawling yet. I dont expect it out of Thomas - but Charlotte is very very close to rolling over now, so we will see how strong and clever she is..............................

Are Kirsten and Blake showing signs of teething yet? mine are always chewing their fists, and sometimes seem quite miserable with it bless them.

Must go,

Toni, Tom and Charlotte XXX
Trying to conceive for over a yr
First ICSI - Nov 04 - Twins!!!
Thomas and Charlotte born 06/07/05 :D
Toni
Regular
 
Posts: 360
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 8:27 am

Postby Susan L » Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:28 am

hi toni

congratulations to you too must have been so scary going into labour that early i was alway worried about that happening as all through my pregnancy i was told they were big babies.

both have been chewing their fist for about a month now and started really dribbling kirsten more than blake has bright red cheeks i asked a doctor and they say its to early but then asked the nurse when they had the 4 month injections and she said they can start from any time funny how people say different things been putting cal gel on their gums helps a little i think....

we are not going to go to mad christmas either but got to get a tree did not really bother with all that before so will be nice kirsten likes lights so she should love it.

kirsten has started rolling from her back to her front now and both roll from front to their backs both getting so strong now and big blake weighs 14lbs 6 and kirsten is 13lbs 4 we had a developement appointment at the hospital last week to see if they were progressing as 13 week babies or 18 week and they are at 18 week stage have you had anything like this done yet...

have you started on solids yet i have had so many different opions on this to start at 4 months then to start at 6 months then someone else says when you feel its right to so i have started giving them baby rice and banana breakfast both are doing good on it though kirsten thinks its a game and blows bubbles with it and finds it very funny and blake justs yums it down.

how are you Thomas and Charlotte ? what did they weigh at birth did they have to go into scbu kirsten was in the scbu for a week as her lungs were not developed enough ....

how is everyone else doing????
woild like some opions on starting solids is anyone going to wait til 6 months im not breast feeding im thinking maybe people who are breast feeding may wait to start feeding solids at 6 months..

got to go now feeding time

hope everyone is doing ok

sue :)
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
Susan L
Regular
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2003 1:02 am
Location: W London uk

Postby Jackie S » Fri Nov 18, 2005 1:35 pm

HI all

Just a quick note to tell you what Joshua has been up to. We had a brilliant holiday and he slept for the whole flight both ways and everywhere we went he was the centre of attention. John and Joshua would go out in the afternoons while I rested so I was actually able to 'recharge' a little. We had 2 brilliant days at the animal park, Joshua actually watched the seal show.

I had a major fit on Tuesday and was unconscious for 4-5 minutes. I am covered in bruises and had bitten my tongue both left and right sides. I can't remember what happened but apparently I was on the phone to John at the time and the phone suddenly went dead. He kept ringing back but I wasn't answering so in the end he rang my friend who lives a couple of doors away and she came over. What is really scary is I had been changing Joshua (he was on his mat with no nappy on when I found him) so if I hadn't gone to the phone I would have been carrying him when I lost consciousness -I can't even think about what it could have done to him.

John's mum is going to have JOshua on Sunday from midday and we're not to go back until evening. This will be John and mine first time together since Joshua arrived. He is with us 24 hours a day. With me all day. He is in our living room with us in the evening until bedtime and then he is in his moses basket in our room.

My friend had Joshua on Wednesday because I still looked really pale and not with it so she took him for 5 hours (I was so grateful) and Joshua and I went round John's parents yesterday, she had Joshua and I had a lay down upstairs.

We finally gotr something done about Joshua's food. He started off on SMA Gold but then he got severe colic. We changed him to SMA white but he was still screaming in pain all the time. HV suggested we try Omni Comfort but from the first day he had green diarhea (sp?) and the worst smelling farts EVER -constant rotten eggs etc (sorry if too much info) it sounded like a tap was running whenever he did a poo, his test came back normal but he has been so distressed. This has been going on since he was about 3 weeks old. Anyway, my GP said to put 5 scoops of powder to 7oz water but Joshua only ever feeds 4 times a day so he was not getting the nutrients he needed. I told the HV I wanted to change his milk back to SMA (after at least 11 weeks). He has been back on the SMA for a week now and seems a lot happier and is even taking 1oz more each meal.

Joshua is tall but still in 0-3 month clothes because he is thin. He is 19 weeks on Sunday (where has it gone?????) and weighs 15lb now. He has such a strong personality and has to have his own way. He has also discovered the poor dog's tail.

He is in his nursery (all of 10 minutes on changing mat) and is screaming like a crazy baby -no peace in our house anymore.

Anyway, I'd better go and sort him out. Hope all mummy's and babies are doing really well.

Love

Jackie

PS it seems really strange looking back one year, I got my positive result Nov 15th -seems so much longer!!!!
Me 36 husband 38. Been together for over 16 years.
2000 -2003 Clomid
Sept - Oct 03 IVF abandoned due to poor response.
Dec -Feb 04 IVF early m/c
Sept -Nov 04 IVF ++++

10 July 2005 -Our precious son Joshua James was born.
Jackie S
Regular
 
Posts: 183
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:54 am
Location: Warwickshire, England

Postby Kim » Wed Nov 23, 2005 9:38 pm

Hi girls !!

Hope you're all OK. We've been having problems with our phone line and I've been without the internet for about 4 weeks. God I've missed keeping up with everyones news !!!

I started Thomas on baby rice a couple of weeks ago - just a teaspoon mixed with formula once a day to start with. I went to a weaning class three weeks ago and had a home visit to discuss weaning and the nursury nurses at my clinic are really helpful and supportive. I've also made batches of pear, apple and carrot puree which I've frozen in ice cube trays and then transferred into containers to keep in the freezer. Thomas really loves the carrot !!!

I thought when I started giving Thomas a little bit of food he'd sleep better at night but he still wakes at 2am and 4am so it's not working yet. I'm still breast feeding but have got to the stage where I really want to get Thomas onto formula but he's not keen on it and isn't very good at sucking from a bottle. Still it's got to be done - anyone got any useful tips ?

Sophie J - I'm also starting to feel that I need a bit of " me " time but as Thomas feeds every 3 to 4 hours I only get a 2 or 3 hour window. I did go shopping for 2 hours on Sunday and felt guilty because I enjoyed the time on my own so much !!

Jackie - I can't imagine how scary it must have been for you when you had your fit. Do you get any sort of sense or warning before you have one ? I fell down 3 stairs while holding Thomas the other morning and it was amazing how my knees and elbows seemed to take on a life of their own when I landed so that Thomas was protected and didn't even touch the floor - I had some pretty nasty grazes though !! Glad your holiday helped to recharge your batteries - it sounds like you had a wonderful time.

Love to all mums and babies !!

Kim xxx
Kim
Regular
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:50 am

PreviousNext

Return to Parents after treatment

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests