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How long does it take?

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How long does it take?

Postby Kat » Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:24 am

Hi
I should be 8.5 weeks but my baby has not grown. There was no heartbeat at 7 wks or 8 wks. I have to wait to see if I m/c naturally or if I need to have a D&C. I have had very slight bleeding a couple of mornings but nothing else. If my baby is not growing why have I not m/c?
How long will it take until I start to feel human again? I imagine it's different for everyone but weeks? months? never?
I am just so sad. I know I should be happy that I was pg after all this time and all those tmts - why is life so cruel to all of us on here?
Kat x
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
Kat
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Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 5:12 pm
Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK

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Postby Claire » Sat Dec 10, 2005 12:12 pm

Hi Kat,

I'm so, so sorry to read your post. Life really is very cruel sometimes and I know only too well how you are feeling.
To be finally given the one thing you long for only to have it snatch away so quickly is very hard to deal with.
It happened to me last month - very similar situation with no heartbeat at 7.5wks.
But it does get easier Kat, it's still raw for me at the moment and I have good and bad days but the good days are getting more frequent.
Have you been taking progesterone and estrogen? If you have that could be why you haven't m/c naturally. If that's the case you will probably m/c as soon as you stop them. That's what happened in my case
Please don't worry about it though, things will start to look brighter, but I don't suppose we'll ever forget.
We just have to take things as they come. Don't try and force yourself into feeling better, let things happen as they happen and just go with it. If you want to talk more please feel free to pm me cause we could perhaps help each other.
Take care,
love claire x
First IVF cycle Feb 05, 7 frosties waiting.
1st FET Aug 05 -ive
2nd FET Oct 05 +ive sadly ended in m/c at 7wks
3rd FET May 06 -ive
4th FET Nov 06 +ive praying hard every day x
I'm 33 and DH is 35 ttc for 11 years
Claire
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Location: Lancs

Postby ogr1 » Sat Dec 10, 2005 3:22 pm

Claire is very right..

i cant offer any better words..

i good friend from here told me
that losing a child is like a wound it heals but you will forever have that scar.
with the death of my babies it has been very hard but i can most of the time be at peace.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Postby Kat » Sat Dec 10, 2005 5:53 pm

Thank you for your kind messages - I was on progesterone pessaries and estradiol patches, I stopped using them on Monday. Still no real bleeding, just a tiny bit each morning although getting some cramps. Don't understand why they are making me wait and I can't just go for a D&C.
I am beginning to think DH is keeping away from me - I don't think he knows what to do - he's been out all day. I just want him to hug me and tell me we'll get through this.
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
Kat
Regular
 
Posts: 665
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 5:12 pm
Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK

Postby ogr1 » Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:44 pm

have you told dh what you wanted?

it is hard for them and us.
men get it in there head that they are suposed to pertect us
and in ivf we are all pretty much helpless.


have you asked your doc about a d&c?

our doc had told us that it would be best for our next go if we did a d&c and also if we did a d&c they could send our twins off to be tested to see what happenend ..

i do wish how ever that we wouldnt have done the d&c cause we didnt get are twins back and i have had to plant a tree in there honor instead.

there are so many different emotions that you go threw with ivf and mc.
i am very sorry for you and dh both.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
Board Veteran
 
Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Postby Kat » Sun Dec 11, 2005 11:07 am

We had a very very long talk last night, well mostly me crying, but I think it got a lot of things cleared up about how we were both feeling. This has helped a lot and I felt a lot calmer afterwards.

We have decided to go away after Christmas somewhere sunny for a rest from all of this. Maybe we came to the end of this ivf road, not sure yet.

I will call the clinic about the D&C and see what they say.

Love
Kat xx
Me & DH both 41
ICSI #1 - abandoned
#2 - cancelled - DH accident
#3 - 1 transferred, bfn
#4 - 2 transferred, bfn
#5 - abandoned
#6 - no eggs at EC
#7 - DE in Barcelona - bfp but lost Dec'05
#8 - DE UK - bfn
#9 - FET Sept/Oct '07....
Kat
Regular
 
Posts: 665
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 5:12 pm
Location: Chessington, Surrey, UK

Postby ogr1 » Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:37 pm

i am glad that you where able to talk and have a good cry.
some place sunny would be nice.

make sure and take lots of photos!!!!!!!!!

let me know if i can help an any way..
glad that you are going to call the clinic.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
ogr1
Board Veteran
 
Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm


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