Hey there Jackie,
I had a very similar situation that I am more than happy to share. From the outset I will say that it DEFINATELY got better, just so you know that thre is in fact light at the end of the tunnel.
Like you, we had a number of IVF cycles to fall pregnant with Annie. We certainly appreciated how precious she was (is) and how lucky we are to have her in our lives. The change in our life was MONUMENTAL. I was told that women who conceive via any form of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) have a higher incidence of post natal depression. For me I believe, this was because we put so much time and energy into getting and then staying pregnant, than not for a minute did I think about the realities of having a child. And I don't know whether anything to be honest really prepares you for the reality of having child. The constant sleep deprivation (which is in fact a form of torture), the constant strain on your body, carrying a baby ALL day some days is bloody exhausting, the unknowns..am I doing the right thing, is this OK etc etc etc..
I used to spend a lot of time crying in those first six months, I was really hard on myself about breastfeeding, so didn't take the antidepressants that the doctor prescribed for me, but retrospectivity I should have.
What helped me through this time:
1. Counselling - highly recommended.
2. Escapism - my counsellor (a psychologist) asked me what I was reading apart from baby literature, as a previous avid reader I was shocked to admit that I had read nothing apart from baby stuff for six months. He said that getting out of your current zone is really healthy. Whether that's a book or a movie, or coffee with friends without the baby.
3. Baby free time - kind of like escapism I guess, time to you, remember, like you were for the first however many years of your life. It's invigorating and uplifting.
4. Talking to other women who are out there with this experience, and there are LOTS of us. I found some women just so dishonest after having a baby, they would lie to my face about how perfect their babies were, how well they slept etc etc etc. It's all about making them feel good and you like crap. IGNORE THEM. I did lots of reading on some great postnatal depression websites and chatted to women on forums like this who were going through exactly the same thing. It reaffirmed that this is a completely normal reponse to an extremely stressful situation.
I wish you all the very best, it does, and it will get better.