I sincerely appreciate all the sweet heartfelt comments, none of this is ever easy and as I say this my heart goes out to Blue and Amanda tonight for we never understand any of this, but I'm praying for them tonight. I apologize for not posting personals right now but my mind is so fried with all my questions as I analyze everything from the moment we started trying to conceive.
Today was very difficult I really wanted to hide out in the back and not deal with anyone, but after 30 minutes and realizing we had a $10,000 sales day to make I quickly had to get out of the mood. Plus the more I talked with customers, the better my day went AND together we overachieved our store goal. The girls at work are great anyway and we always pull together, my boss tells me someday I'm going to have alot of aunties because they really are like family.
My clinic did call back this morning with info on the IVF Refund Attain Program and it's around 21 grand for 3 IVF and 3 FET cycles and she mentioned if we did not bring home a baby we would get 70% of our money back. Dh said he thinks we should have a conference call with our RE on Monday to get his thoughts on our last cycle first go over the numbers before we apply for the IVF program. Maybe take a break for a while, well at least through Christmas. In the meantime I'm going to find the very best nutritionist down here to get me on a health kick increasing my protein intake to help me put on 10 pounds. My doctor mentioned no protein supplements, so maybe focus on eatting more meats and whatever beans I can tolerate, lol. Anyway I have tons of reading to do, please forgvie me for not posting personals tonight. You ladies must know you keep this candle burning for this desire to be a mother someday!
This dream is going to happen and I cannot wait to the day we can all hold our babies and finally say we have completed our family. When truth and desire meet, dreams are born. Yes I'm Southern Baptist and so many believe like myself it's all in God's plan/ I think it all boils down to what we believe, so it's going to be hard to be on the same page (when it comes to religion) but I do respect everyone's beliefs. Yes we should be able to grieve in any way we choose and by saying this hopefully doesn't offend anyone but others are here to console and their intentions are good. I'm not any better...even my dh questions it sometimes too because why would God provide a baby to a crackhead how could that be His plan, even if that mother changed her ways her baby would be at high risk. I don't know why... but my faith is what keeps me going and when I do pray it soothes my mind helping me to think more positively. I am not overly religious, but I do have a strong belief. Yes this is probably a controversial topic but I had to reflect on my thoughts tonight and I'm having trouble understanding how by saying it's "God's plan" takes away someone's way of grieving, it's not meant to offend anyone. You go to a funeral and we here people say he's now in a better place, I don't know about any of you but it helps me to think maybe he is, he's no longer grieving or suffering. At the same time it's our valves and beliefs that make up who we are and we have to respect that. xoxo Christy
Married 13 yrs
1 natural pg- m/c at 7 wks
(2010-2012) 4 IUIs, 2 IVFs
FET cycle 2/25/2013
Beta: 95, 390, 1361
3/27 HR 140
4/10 HR 184
4/17 Released from RE
6/21 Found out we are having a BOY!