Hi all, I had a frostie transferred last week (Monday.) We had two but one didn't make the thaw, which totally sucked! Anyway, I take my first blood test Weds. I am trying to keep my mind off of it, but I already find myself trying to beef myself up for the next IVF, as if I already don't think that this one is going to work. Isn't that ridiculous? I guess it's just my way of preparing myself for disappointment, but I feel like such a negative Nancy. How do we all find the strength to go through this?
Karen, I read back at your post about a friend getting pregnant, and it reminded me of my own circumstances last summer... right before DH and I started IVF, I had three close friends get pregnant in the same week. The same week! It was actually a six-day span. To make matters worse, the second friend had just decided after years of not wanting kids that she changed her mind, and BOOM! She was pregnant after a month; and the third friend, in an ignorant fog, called me freaking out because she accidentally got pregnant with her third and didn't want to be. I have never before felt so much like someone above was screwing with me! Usually I can laugh at irony, but this time, I was an angry, bitter mess. I think I drank an entire bottle of wine that Thursday night, ranting at my husband about "the nerve" of these ungrateful people.
...in hindsight, I think what came out of all of this, and what continues to resurface after every friend/family member/arch enemy declares pregnancy, is the reaffirmation that I want this more than anything in the world. I am a bad second-guesser, and I'm embarrassed to admit that during times of feeling sad, helpless, pissed off, or feeling like crap because of all of the hormones, I have asked myself if it was all worth it... but all I need is that fire reignited from these feelings to keep going. Granted, I will still probably want to tackle the next non-IVF person that tells me she's pregnant - but at least reacting like that makes me realize that I've never wanted anything more in the world.
Good Luck to all! Please, if anyone has success with frosties, post for hope!!
me: 30, mild endometriosis, late ovulator (day 20)
dh: 36, no male factor
TTC: just over 3 yrs.
4/10, 5/10 - Clomid hoping for IUI - faulty OV predictor
6/10 IUI - BFN
7/10 1st IVF cycle - BFN
10/10 1st FET - BFP!
11/10 - miscarried @ 7 wks.