Bobs Hi sorry I was unable to come on last night and read your update. I'm glad you got all that info from your clinic - its good at least to be clear about everything. As you know, we were very nearly in your position - if dh's lab results had suggested he had made sperm at some point in his life, we would have had second retrieval with only a 30% success rate and would have been using donor as a back up. In addition to all the info you were told, we were also told that we could have been in the situation where dh's sperm retrieval was negative and the donor they had selected to use might have reached ten pregnancies by the day of EC. They would then have to use another donor but may not be able to get one due to shortage meaning nothing to fertilise eggs with, just like you say. They said it could be as drastic as phoning round individual clinics last minute seeing if anyone had any spare straws of sperm!
I can see you are in a total no win situation. Total dilemna! I feel for you
If I was i your situation, which I very nearly was, I know like you, dh and I would want to know for sure that we had tried everything to have a baby that was biologically his. For us donor was the second option which unfortunately now is our only option. I think however its probably wise to hold off that little bit longer and have donor as a back up - think how you would feel if dh's swimmers didn't survive the thaw and you had to abandon the cycle? Can you be given a clearer picture on how long you would have to wait to get donor for back up?? Also what is the % lilelihood of dh's swimmers surviving. If its greater than 50% maybe you might want to take the risk? especially if you may have to hold off tmt for a very long time. I'm sorry if none of this helps but these are the sorts of things I think I would have thought about.
Does this situation not just make you sick?? I feel so angry
when I think that someone out there, who knows nothing about dh and me, has made this decision without much of a thought for the devastating consequences on couples like you and your dh and me and my dh. Do they realise our baby dreams are under serious threat?? My consultant (who can't treat me as no DIUI programme now because of the problem) has suggested we go to Copenhagen! Donors are anonymous there and no probs there - I am seriously considering it if Darlington looks rocky in terms of being able to be treated.
Sorry for the rant. How are you today??
xxxxx
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One cycle costs £800 upwards and success is anything from 10 - 20% per cycle. Think you can pretty much have them soon after each other if it is without medication. Not sure when you do have medication. The only problem in the uk at the moment is a lack of donors coming forward now that they are not anonymous. Since 1st April 2006 clinics can only use sperm from known donors. Because of this dh and I cannot get treated anywhere in our native Scotland and have had to choose a clinic 350 miles away! 
