Stressed

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 7:24 pm

Hi Im back from a well earned break and it was fab especially to not have to think about IVF, Since Ive been back I have had a few phone calls relating to our tmt and it is stressing me out already!!!! I tell you each clinic has their own little rules, My clinic are happy for Mandy (my egg donor) to have her councilling where she lives Bournemouth on her own so I aranged for her to be councilled down there in the satilight clinic and now they say that they arnt happy for her to have it there she should be having it at my clinic , so I went to the nearest clinic which is in dorchester and they have agreed to have her there, but we are hopeing that she will still be able to have the rest done in the other one as its nearer, who knows there seems to be a big whoha over this bloody councilling , if we dont get going on the first next cycle which is around mid Sept cause expected ec will be mid Nov it will all fall around christmas for the next month and they arnt open for ec then , that means my chance will then be gone , stress stress stress!!!!! Ive had it all ready , anyway have a nice weekend sorry to rant! Trace x

alypraying · Post by **alypraying** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 2:04 pm

Hi Traci Just found out that I'm going to need donor eggs. I was hoping to pick your brains! My sister is 37 and has had 3 kids I know the age for egg donors is 35 but do you think they would allow her to be my donor? Also she lives in Wales so would need treatment there before coming up to London for E/C Are clinics flexible on this or was it really hard work? I hope they manage to sort out the councilling it does seem pretty rediculous to me but rules are rules! Anyway thinking of you Aly xx

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 6:22 pm

Hi Aly, I think they preferre you not to have a named donor especially a sister, my sister offerd but I am going to use her as a very last result! I moved clinics because of this as the JR in Oxford frownd apon it as it can cause a few problems within the family ie: If your child turned out mentally god forbid handicapped how would your sister feel? would she blame herself? if you told the child off in front of her would she disaprove and cause a family rift? there are lots of pro's and con's anyway that is what councilling is for , Mandy my donor is a distant second cousin with the same great grandmother as me and we only get together on weddings funerals and egg collection!!! so we are not very close also she emigrates to Australia in Febuary which helps! it has been quite sressfull but we have had to rush it through due to her leaving , but Im sure it will be fine for you, its quite comon for there to be a satellite clinic used as they are so greatfull for donors , I dont think the age thing would be an issue as she is your sister, but I worn you they will I expect do their damnest to put you off using her but stick to your guns and fight and you should win!!! Best of luck Trace x

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:14 am

Traci just popped in to see how you are - you really don't need to be worrying about november tmt - see if you can have a word - honestly all these rules - can't they bend them - I mean some dogery old 56 year old having eggs and tmt and they can;t bend a bit - bloody hell! Please try and stay positive as I know how strong you are - have a great feeling on this go for you! Fingers crossed Love Tracey xxxxx

alypraying · Post by **alypraying** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:55 am

Hi Traci Thanks for that, my sister is probably the most laid back person around and with three kids she has no hassle with giving her eggs away! issue will be if anything goes wrong she may well blame herself so it is something to discuss. unfortunately I don't have anyone else to ask so if they say no to her then I'm going to have to wait. One thing do they have to be the same blood group? I'm presuming so but not sure. Thanks again for the info if you need a chat feel free to E-mail off the site it would be good to know how things are going and what your experiences are. take care Aly x

Helen G · Post by **Helen G** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:59 am

Hi Trace Sorry to hear the clinic is stressing you out. It's one thing after another, isn't it?! Just as you think it's all sorted, they chuck something else in for you to stress about!! Oh well, try not to worry, it'll all get sorted in the end. I'm sure you'll make EC in November! Hope you had a nice relaxing weekend and got everything sorted! Keep us posted! LOL Helen xx

Allison · Post by **Allison** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 9:56 am

Traci, They certainly seem to be making a meal out the counselling. I'm sure it will sort itself out by November and probably even if it went to early December it would be OK. Your donor sounds ideal - how an earth did she get to the stage of offering eggs when you only meet at weddings and funerals? Aly, I may need donor eggs as well so have read up a bit about it. I think the age limit applies to donors not known to you. I think if you and your sister are OK with her age then it should be OK by them providing all her tests are OK as well. Its a big thing for the sister to do and so generous. Worth spending the time on counselling as you would not want any issues to destroy your relationship with your sister. Why not put your name down on the genral waiting list as well just in case. Hope it all works out for you both, Love Allison xxxx

alypraying · Post by **alypraying** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:57 pm

Hi Tracey, Allison When did they confirm to you that you would need a donor?? When I went for IVF our embryo's were very fragmented and were not dividing (we had 6 fertilize) I don't know if they will want to try again as they said it may have had something to do with the over stimulation but I'm worried because my sis is 38 next year and they say egg quality drops around 38 so the earlier we try with her eggs the better. So a bit of a dilemma do I try again for a baby with my eggs and risk loosing my sis as a donor or just go with my sis? Ireally don't know any advice?? Has anyone had a successful pregnancy with such poor embryo's? Love Aly x

KirstyC · Post by **KirstyC** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 1:11 pm

Hi Traci, I am sorry that you are going through a stressful time at the mo. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you, I hope that you can get going on your next cycle soon. There is always something isn't there!! Stay your usual positive self and I'm sure all will go ok. Lots of love Kirsty x

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 1:17 pm

It was because my fsh was 16 and the second cycle was poor responce to drugs so I made my own conclusion and the clinic said it was the best one chosen as they were going to tell me to use donor but i beet them to it! ring the clinic and ask first is there an age limit on sisters and if they do it there cause some clinics dont do known donors , it will take a few months to set up to so you dont want to waste time. Trace x

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