The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[Melissa112]

I sort of assumed about $2500 - so at least I was close...

My DH is in the insurance biz you would think we'd have a policy to cover something his WIFE needs... but I think that's a small group Florida thing.

Thanks ladies!

[amy]

Since our newest friend Melissa broached my latest rant.... lets discuss:

the topic - infertility and your insurance plans

the issue - most plans suck

the solution - we put on our shirts and march in washington (we can stay in maryland to save money at wanna's house)

I am so fired up about this. My DH and I are both hardworking "professionals" who have double coverage. I have Kaiser and DH works for the Sutter Medical Group here and has pretty good benefits as well. I just don't understand why when you have documented medical problems (dh had testicular cancer - now you are all in the Burns circle of trust and can never leave me - he dies when I mention it like people will think he is Lance Armstrong or something) nothing substantial is covered. They will cover parts of some of the medications - ie... birth control pills and maybe part of the lupron if we are lucky. This bothers me that so many people can have baby after baby - with no way of paying for them - drain our system, and those of us who have jobs and coverage are stuck with these absurd bills to attempt to have a child. I also wonder why it is that some companies or states have better coverage than others?? Are you with me ladies?

So I leave you with this: Have any of you had any luck working the system to your advantage or finding alternate funding? (this would also let you see that I am not reaching my ebay goals!!)

I just think it is not fair that I have to make choices between fixing my sprinklers and refinishing my floors or paying for the medical help I need to have a successful pregnancy.

Done ranting - GO TEAM!

[Melissa112]

Amy, I think you have a good point BUT the problem is not federal – it’s done state to state (since DH owns and insurance agency and in addition to wedding planning I teach an insurance course… I know strange combo…)

But here’s the deal, insurance companies are regulated state to state, this includes rates and benefits, and unless a company is large group (99+ covered employees) – then it’s up to the company, or Self-Funded, a state plan, or something like that, most Joe Schmo’s like us are regulated by the state Departments of Insurance… with a small group plan. For instance DH has a client in NY with the same insurance company that covers his company and in NY they are required to cover infertility… however in Florida they don’t have to cover it, therefore since it’s a fairly pricey thing, they don’t so I get screwed!

Now I have a friend that works for Hain Celestial (the Tea company) their company is based in NY, and she gets Infertility covered, she had 4 IVF’s covered… I am so crazy jealous!

But you are soooo right, people can have baby after baby. And have their BC covered and their vasectomy’s not covered, and people like me and you have have histories of covered issues that have caused infertility (did I mention I am a Non-HPV Cervical Cancer Survivor) and now our insurance which covered my treatment for cancer, won’t cover me to have a baby… I know and totally sympathize with you… but unless we hit it state by state… DC isn’t the place to start… unfortunately.

Sorry to be the bearer of badness...

[meg12]

Amy--Great rant. Don't get me started on insurance companies. We have no coverage right now---My DH runs his own company (which consists of just him!) and I work for a little office that doesn't offer benefits--everyone else gets them through their spouse. We have been shopping around for coverage, but it is soooooo expensive. Plus, at this point, nothing (as far as infertility or maternity) would be covered anyway since you have to be on most plans for 2 years before those benefits kick in. Luckily, his business is going well enough that we have extra income to throw at medical bills. But if anything horrible ever happened (god forbid) like heart attacks, car accidents, cancer etc we would be screwed. We will, obviously, get coverage before the baby comes so that she is covered (notice that I keep saying she--I really want a girl, so I decided if I keep calling her a her, it will rub off....I know, I'll love her if she's a boy, too....) Anyway,I HATE INSURANCE! For a long time, my dh was so frustrated that all of his computer passwords were set to "Insurance sucks". Hee, hee. Okay, back to work!

[Melissa112]

Hey Meg - I can help you with insurance if you want... it won't cover maternity (most likely, and if it did, the maternity would suck rocks anyway) but with the catastrophic'ness... and some options to help with maternity????

Only if you wanna...

[Melissa112]

I really should get to work... but I so don't want to!!!

[sassynlv]

Amy: kudos on the rant! Wow, i think it sucks doubly that since the reason for your dhs problems have to do with his battle w/cancer that your ART isn't covered. I am with you... my insurance sucks (although i shouldn't complain too much, for some reason completely unknown to me... they just paid for our karyotyping ). As my insurance only covers iuis, and we are not candidates to even try it... cash only ivfs for us (so much for a "college fund" for any children we may possibly conceive ). Now, i do get Melissa's point.... but can we still "march on washington" in our t-shirts?.... that just sounds so... i don't know... dramatic! . Now, as soon as i feel better (i am typing this under the influence of codeine... and therefore not responsible for anything i say ), i am going to send you the library book stuff. I know, i have seriously been a REALLY bad thread sister... i am not meaning to imply that i will "fix" all this for you, but just want you to be able to explore it to see if it may be a good option for you.

Long live the sisterhood! (ooooo, think i just found a new "sign-off"!)

[sassynlv]

Forgot to add a "funny" for today....

IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to the earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and cr*pped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
***The moral of the story****
1. Everyone who sh*ts on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the sh*t is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you are warm and happy in a pile of sh*t, keep your mouth shut.

[vicky77]

Melissa...I am from Florida too, my IUI's costed around $800 each (mine were not medicated, so it doesn't include medications)....hope it helps!!!!

Sassy...the idea of each one ordering their own t-shirt is great, so you don't have to pay them, I think it is much better this way!!....but we should all have the same one though!!!, right, what are we a sisterhood for otherwise ....hope you are feeling better...

Amy....great rant, I hate insurance companies, for example, my deductible is 2000, last year I had my D&C on December 22 and they charged me around 1,500, but of course it went into last years deductible, which ended 8 days later, ARRGHHHHHH!!!!

HRH Fee...how's that baby doing???

Hope you are all ok!!!

[Angie65]

Hi ladies - just a quick one as must do some work.

Finally a follie count - 8 to 10 are growing slowly with lots of little ones in the waiting which he is trying to avoid stimmulating . Biggest is 13 mm so still a fair way to go - thinks it will be another WEEK! I will certainly beat the record of the longest ever stimmer - could be 21 days - frustrating but I understand I must be patient . And sassy will certainly be stimming with you at this stage.

Thanks for the sympathetic ears on the house purchase gals - particularly like Amy's idea of coming here and saying she is purchasing on behalf of Naomi Watts - particularly as she is supposed to be preggers - perhaps if I pretend I am her I too will be - trouble is I am not quite a willowy as her.

Take care in the ice girls - sounds treacherous over there. Only hazards we have are sun glare and the ocasional roo running across the road although not in urban areas where I live!

[Melissa112]

Hmmm... Vicky, where in Florida are you?

[Melissa112]

I don't know why this is so hard, I have over a month until my appointment with the new Infertility Doctor, and the more I learn the more I want to cry! This so sucks!

I want to remain positive, and I honestly don't know what the deal-io is... my family is no help! My MIL wants a grandchild and I haven't had the heart to tell her that her son's sperm swim in circles and my cootchie is toxic- I don't know! My sister had her babies... my mother, well - she's just annoying, and my poor poor DH has to deal with the raging Melissa...

The IUI's they seem to be not so, well they don't seem to have a good sucess rate, and the IVF is SO freakin' expensive... (at least for us it is) So I don't know... I guess I just wanted to vent before I head home and want to drink 12 gallons of wine, and eat all of the fried food I can get my hands on - and then complain about gaining weight....

It's always something!

Thanks for listening... sorry to have to vent! (I promise I am not normally an angry person!)

PS - Vicky, I am in Gainesville... we have a very high Argentine community... some of my closest friends are Argentine... hmmmm.....

[amy]

Melissa - Nice work adding the ticker. We love the tick tock of those things around here. Well I live in California's capital with all the lawmakers and lobbyists. Maybe I will drive downtown and stalk some people until they hear my plea RE insurance. There are some great restaurants down there if any of you want to come and join me!

Angie - Nice work on the Super Stim.. I feel good about those numbers. If you hold out, by the time I am back changing the insurance practices in California I could join you in your cycle. Do it for the sisterhood.

HRH - Where is our baby's mama?

Sass - I order you to take a codeine induced nap. You have a busy week and need to get all the rest you can before you go an infect your workplace. You can send me my amazon business details from work one day when you need to kill some time.

Down with insurance!

A

[Melissa112]

Amy I totally think you should drive your tushie over to the capital and figure out what the eff is going on,.... I am sure that Arnold would love to hear your plea!

I do seriously think that something needs to be done! It's an autrocity (gosh that's a big word for 7:20PM and still being at work - WHAT AM I DOING AT WORK!!!)

I love the ticker... but it just reminds me hooooooooooow loooooooooonnnnnnnngg until my next appointment... but I guess I've waited 11 years, so a month and a 1/2 isn't that long.....

Angie - I think those numbers sound good!

Sass- I hope you are sleeping and feeling better soon!

Have I mentioned that I am tired and I wanna go home...

[vicky77]

Melissa...I am in South Florida, near Fort Lauderdale. Regarding the IUI's vs. IVF, we also had to think about it very well when we first started, since our insurance doesn't cover fertility treatment, so it is all out of pocket. Since the success rate of IUI's is not that high, but they are muuuuuuch cheaper than IVF, we decided we were going to do 2 IUI's, not more than that, and if it didn't work, then we wouldn't waste any more money on them, and just use it for something that had a higher success rate such as IVF. And that is what we did......So you have many argentinean friends up there?, I didn't know there was a big community there, good to know!!!!

Ange....10 follies is a very good number!!, they will be the right size soon, don't worry!!!!!!

Going to sleep now.....see you tomorrow!!!! aawwwggggg (yawning)....