The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[wannababyIVF]

HI Ladies,
I'm here! Also, in my own funk. I have been really sick this past week and weekend. I can barely function. All I want to do is sleep or throw up. I have serious food adversion. I dont want to eat anything. HOwever I have been able to eat junk food. But it seems these twins do not like real food. DH and I went out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants Friday night and had to leave early because right after my appetizer and two bites of my main course, I was praying to the porcelin God. I was so embarrased. We had to pack up our food and leave. DH even asked for an extra doggie bag in case I barfed in the car. Came home and slept from 9pm until 9am the next morning. Felt better Saturday. Today, feel like crap again. Slept most of the day. Can't really eat anything. I have to force myself to eat. I'm really worried that these kids may not be getting the nutrients they need. Thank God for fruit smoothies. That is the one thing I can keep down. Also, the one thing I will attempt to eat...drink.

Will write more later when I feel like wanna again. Hope you all are doing good.

Fi--Sorry to hear about your MIL. I dont even know her and I want to cry for her. HORMONES are a *****!

Love you all!

[Angie65]

Hi Sistas,

Hope you all had great weekends.

My w/e away was nice and relaxing – group of us rented a house. A mix of couples and singles (no children) We sat by the pool, went for short walks (didn’t over do things) and had a beautiful lunch at a winery. The only the downside was the evenings when DH’s good friend’s wife was conspicuously not drinking when she ALWAYS does . So there we were, the 2 of us, wondering and speculating about the other one – me coz I’m on the 2ww and she because she must be preggers. And it did my head in so I sulked off to bed early both nights. So we’ll be preparing ourselves for their announcement soon – there’s been a bit of lull in “announcements” recently but sure to be some more soon.

Anyone have any PMA they can send my way? I hate the 2nd part of the 2ww - this week is going to be a write off I can just tell.

Sassy – I am glad you are thinking of a break – hope you can get a nice holiday with DH too.

Meg, Fee and Wanna – you are the sisters’ inspirations – glad you are all incubating well.

Amy – this Dave dude sounds quite something – does he have a website? – I want to check him out. What kind of stuff does he sing?

Vicky - glad your news from the doc was good.

Patie – have a fabbo trip – look forward to hearing your travel tales.

Nickster – I take my hat off to you – I don’t think I could do IVF and deliver babies at the same time. You must be very strong.

Hi to everyone else. Thanks for asking about the house. We don’t settle until mid June so have plenty of time . Am looking forward to planning my new kitchen and bathroom – I am thinking aqua blue tiles for the bathroom and miraculously DH agrees. Everything is so neutral these days so we are going for colour – being a Pisces I like the water.

OK this is getting ridiculous – it is 11.30am and I have really not achieved anything so far this morning. Better go and at least pretend.

[patie]

Hello from DC

just a quick post to say hi to all and that i miss you so much all....cant stay for long as i am the business center in the hotel! I arrived yesterday to dc via new york...the longest trip ever 14 hrs straight flight from dubai to new york!
will do personals later...

tons of hugs and kisses to all

[meg12]

Hope you have a fabulous trip, Patie!

[sassynlv]

good mornin' girls.

Angie: ooooo yes, the 2nd half of 2ww is the worst. I am sending you all the PMA i have! Glad to hear you had a nice relaxing wkend, but i can see what you mean about your friends impending announcement... i would have done some serious sulking myself. I am hoping you are busy at work this week to stay distracted.

Wanna: so wanna in a funk too now, huh? I am thinking this funk is contagious through the computer wires. Weird how it is going around. Here's hoping you get lots of good smoothies, a nice nap, and that you are feeling better soon.

Patie: WOOOHOOO! Paties "in da house!" Or "in da country", that is . Anyway, glad you made it. Hope you get some good sightseeing/shopping in while here.

Jenn: oooo, i haven't ever seen cirque in a tent... spoiled i suppose living in vegas. Actually that sounds like more fun... Hoping dh got the flower bed done...

nickster: working outside in that weather sounds fab. Did you get a tan? (i mean come on, that really is what its all about, right? ).

Amy: How was your boyfriend?

GUYS!!!! Get this!!!!
As background... i have mentioned that dh has no interest in ds/de/adoption. I have told him that i will never try to convince him (don't want him to resent a child), that i personally would love to do any of the above (and would rather do that than continue to beat my head indefinitely against this wall), but i respect the right he has to his opinion. Last time we talked about it was months ago. I have just accepted that it is ivf or nothing. Anyway, we had a long chat on Fri pm about how i needed time off, blah blah blah and how hard this has been on me and i need a break, etc.

So dh and i were at wedding Sat evening i was ready to leave since we were all exhausted and all.... but he wanted to chat with an attorney he used to work with (she does family law). So immediately he starts asking her and her hubby about being back on the adoption list (i wasn't aware they even had a child... but they adopted 18 months ago and are back on the list). He starts asking them all sorts of questions. As you can imagine i was in shock and probably didn't say anything for several minutes. He was asking all sorts of details like whether or not she handles adoptions through the agency that he knows i am interested in. Whether or not fences around pools have to be up before you get a baby or just before they crawl... etc. How long it takes for adoptions to be finalized in Nevada... etc. you get the picture. They whip out pictures of their daughter and were telling stories about how they got the news.... how they only had 2 days to prepare, and how exciting it was, etc. How having gone through IVFx2 has made them truly appreciate what a blessing she is... how they couldn't love Emily more if she had given birth to her herself, blah blah blah.
H.O.L.Y. S.H.*.T.

We left and i didn't say a word about it to him. But maybe, just maybe he is rethinking it???!!! I have secretly harbored a little hope that with time, and a lack of pressure from me, that his heart may be softened to the idea of adoption or at least ds. I am wondering if seeing how hard IVF has become for me has made him at least explore the idea of other options??? I have been trying not to get my hopes up, but i am not doing a very good job of it. Have to find a way to forget about it for a while...

[meg12]

Sassy! That would be great if Dh would change his mind. His "no" attitude has got to be tough on you. I mean, it totally adds pressure to an already high pressure situation by cutting off all other options. Here's hoping that he's coming around...

Angie--Hoping that this next week goes really fast. When is your test date? And man, I hate that feeling when you just know someone is going to tell you they are knocked up. (I hate that expression--what are some other good slangs for being pregnant?) It's like you get a big throbbing pain in the bottom of your gut. Here's hoping that you'll both be pregnant together!!!!!!!!!!

Fee--So, so sorry to hear about your MIL. Life is just so crazy sometimes. Congrats on seeing the heartbeats. That's fun, huh? Hope all is well in Australia.

Anyway, I've definitely been in a funk, too. Don't know what the problem is. How are we going to get out of this???????

[Melissa112]

Hey Sista's!

I am still so sick, in fact I left work early today (well on time for any normal person) because I needed more medication and I just couldn't take it anymore.

Sassy!!!! Can I just tell you how excited I am that DH is interested or should I say entertaining the idea of adoption! My DH, is the same way though, things need to sink in, and he needs to come to the decision on his own - the more I push toward something, the more he pushes away... so I have learned to just sit back and take my time, and let him take his, and most of the time he comes around on his own. Do you live in Vegas? DH and I visit Vegas at least once a year on business, and always shove some fun in there... Maybe next time we can get together? A summitt perhaps?

Patie - I hope you have a great time in DC! I'd love to come and visit you in Dubai!!! I hear how beautious it is there! My sister is looking to get her husband to transfer to DC... A group trip to Dubai???

Fee- I am so sorry about your MIL!!! I am a cancer survivor (did you guys know that?) well anyway, it wasn't Lymphoma, but you know people live with cancer ALL of time. PMA has alot to do with it! So maybe get her a copy of THe Secret and let her take a peek at it in her own time. She will need ALOT of support, but she won't ask for it... so just be there for her. (I am sure you know that, but people were scared to be there for me - so sometimes it just helps me to say it outloud.)

Meg - I am sorry about your funk! I hope you thinking about that little butterbean growing inside your belly is starting to get you out of your funkiness- I know my sister had a hard time getting out of the funk because she couldn't eat anything either, try to add some protein powder to your fruit smoothie... Butterbean needs the protein!

Jenn - How was Cirque? I've only heard great things!

Wanna - I hope you are doing okay! I think about you all of the time! You need to eat your protein too!

Angie - I am hoping this next week flies by for you!! Like warp speed!

Okay, I am starting to get sleepy... stupid medication!

I'll be back!

XXOO!

Mel

[patie]

hello again

Sass...amazing news... well who knows but i guess ur DH is changing his mind...and its great that u didnt talk to him about it afterwards as i guess its now sinking in...good luck Hon...and i hope the trial ends soon of course by DH winning so you can relax... as for krispy kreme i am writing while eating one... which is my second for today...its a delight

Angie i know how the second week sucks... but think of this...your getting closer!

Wanna i am sorry you are not feeling good...sounds its awful but dont worry about giving nutrients to juniors...at this stage it wont effect at all and its normal to go through this

Mego how are you? hope u r feeling better as well

Mel...i would love if u visit me in Dubai... woo that would be fun... i wish we can organize a group trip imagine laying on the sandy beach and then hitting the mall!!!

Jenn i am glad u enjoyed the cirque its spectacular...i loved it!

Nickster I am in DC cos DH has work then on Wednesday we are going to Houston to visit his family there...

Vicky Amy and Coco how are you ladies??

i got to go cos DH is waiting for me as we are invited to dinner... DC is amazing i am loving it especially that the weather is beautiful i am walking alot... the shopping spree didnt start yet...

hugs for now....

[FionaA]

Hellooo

thanks all so much for your kind thoughts about MIL. I must say it is consuming all of our energy at the moment. I am trying to ring around to find a haemotologist who will do a biopsy quicker than in three weeks....

Adding to the stress was the events of Sunday. DH, me and MIL and FIL went to the beach for a picnic to try to cheer everyone up. FIL was opening up a picnic table, tripped over the metal part of it and opened up an enourmous flap of skin on his leg. I've never seen blood gush out of a person so quickly. It was awful, his bone was all exposed. Poor old DH was beside himself and had to race FIL to emergency. By that stage I was just thinking what else can bloody go wrong here???? Touch wood hopefully that is the end of our bad luck for a while...

It was good to see the HB but yesterday had some more of the dreaded pink discharge. I'm at the point where I can't take on board any more stress so I'm just not gonna worry about it...

Sass your trial story cracked me up. I love trials they can be so entertaining (if you can get over the stress part!). And wow I'm so pleased for you that DH may be opening up to the possibility of adoption. I know when I was worrying about never having kids I always took comfort in the fact that there could be other options, in fact I still do want to adopt at least one child....And you are so patient waiting for DH to come around (hopefully). I would probably try and force the issue with DH and end up having a massive fight. You're right, it is such a big decision that it is important that both parties really do want to do it. Smart girl.

Jenn and Nickster, you are both making me feel bad with all your talk of gardening. My house and garden looks derelict and I just can't bring myself to do anything about it. I clearly have no pride.

Wanna sorry to hear about the morning sickness, how awful not being able to eat, I love eating. Luckily I seem to have dodged that bullet (which makes me paranoid that something is wrong mind you). DH and I have named our child Noggin (because DH thinks it will have a big head). Have you thought of names for your two?

Angie, I hated the second week of the 2ww, got absolutely nothing done and spent each day dwelling on various aches and pains that i was experiencing, not to mention spending heaps of time whining on these boards. I think the best thing for you to do is to whine away. It's cathartic. When is your test??? can't be long now, are you having any symptoms??? And as for that weekend away, I totally support your sulking. I've done more than my fair share of sulking when faced with couples who are expecting. I would throw in a tantrum or two for good measure. I think all of us should have free reign to deal with the 2ww as gracelessly as possible.

Mego, sorry to hear you have caught the funk bug. I don't know how we are gonna climb out of this hole. Chocolate is obviously a quick fix but I have alreay put on 2 kg (for no reason other than I am a pig). If you get out of the funk let me know how u did it...do you reckon it's the hormones??

Mel thanks for your thoughts about MIL, you are a cancer survivor? That is so inspiring. I know when people get seriously ill it makes me realise how lucky I am. I will definatley try to keep up the PMA for MIL and definatley ask her what she needs....Hope you feel better soon sound like you've got a BAD bug.

Woo Hoo Patie, having your second Krispy Kreme. Keep going girl, remember your eating for both of us...Have a great trip I am so damn jealous.

Vicky, Amy and Coco, where the hell are you????

Fee

[Angie65]

Hi Fee - good to read you - I was getting tired of waiting for those Americans to answer me - tucked away in their own time zone. And now even Patie is a temporary one too.

Sorry to hear about your in-law family's run of bad luck. I hope the tide will turn for them soon.

Just remember, pink is ok, brown is ok - only worry when it's firey red. This is my helpful saying of the day. I have to remember this too - I had the minisculest spot of brown today too which almost put me in a bad mood but i refused to let it.

I just had a look at some great boots at lunch time - 3/4 length which will look great with jeans or a skirt - pretty flat heels so either way this test goes on Monday, I think they will be a sound investment. And DH hasn't bought my birthday pressie yet - aha!

Have a good day.

[Angie65]

Ooops sorry dear ladies in America. I just realised you did answer me and it was my turn to post. Sorry - bear with me, I am a crazy lady on a 2ww.

[FionaA]

Angie, your saying will become my mantra which I shall chant to myself everytime I go to the bathroom. Hope no-one is in the stall next to me.

Know what you mean about the time zones, I get impatient and want people to talk to. Patie used to post in the late afternoon which would round off my day nicely but now I bet she is snoozing with the rest of the US sisters.

Those boots sound awesome. Get em for sure. I had my eye also on some 3/4 length ones but had stilletto heels, very slutty. Haven't bought them because I'm thinking I might need to be sensible. Blah.

By the way, brown could be implantation could it not???

Fee

[Angie65]

who knows Fee, who knows? In this crazy world we inhabit there seems to be no explanation for anything. What does pink mean? I reckon it's your Noggin stretching out and making himself/herself comfortable.

How many weeks are you now anyway and what happened to your ticker???!! I need to be able to track everyone!

[FionaA]

Yeah could be Noggin bashing his huge head against my innards. Very naughty....

I have to master the ticker thing, will do so hopefully in the next few days....I think I'm due in late October and tomorrow I will be nine weeks. Have a blood test tomorrow which will no doubt freak me out and stop me from doing any work for half of the day...

How are you going with concentration???

Fee

[patie]

Hello Angie and Fee....i enjoyed your chitchat...and yes i am snoozing deeply...finally i adjusted to the new timings here...

Fee i am so sorry for these unfortunate events! i hope everything will go smooth from now on! and great about the HB...something to brighten up the scene....hugs babe

Angie...i say you go get those boots no matter what! there is nothing better then getting some new shiny shoes....

i still didnt start shopping...dont know when i will get that urge! hmmm

hugs to all you ladies...