The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[wannababyIVF]

Hi Vicky! I've been so busy today but I promised myself I would pop in to hear your news! I'm sitting here crushed because it wasn't the news that I wanted to hear. I'm so sorry sweetie! I'm sitting here almost in tears. I just knew you were next.

Take all the time you need. I know I haven't been around as much (damn job) but I promise to check in on you. Hope all is well.

Please hug DH, and my Goddog Sanson for me.

[vicky77]

Dear Sistas, thank you all so much for your great support. It made things easier knowing you were all here with me.
Now I am feeling a little bit better, during the day I was a mess, don't even know how I was able to stay at the office, there were moments I couldn't stop crying, so I would hide in my office so nobody could see....
Now I am trying to concentrate on 2 things, on my trip to Argentina coming in 2 weeks (hence my new ticker ), and on my next cycle that will start once AF shows up.......
And today, I will have a Diet Coke party at home, you are all invited!!!!....Sassy I know you would love it, but you are in Austria instead, oh well, I guess that is a bit better

Thank you guys again....

[FionaA]

Vicky, I logged on first thing today to see your news and am so sorry it is not the news we were all hoping for. Take all the time you need but come back as soon as you are ready because we'll miss ya. Glad to see you're planning the next round already, it will work eventually! Fee

[nickster]

I'll have to chat later. I need to go to bed so I can wake up bright and early to drink my barium for my CT...yuk!
I just wanted to say Vicky, I am soooo sorry. I was really hoping this was it for you. Take some time, be with dh..you know we'll be here to talk whenever you're ready.

[sassynlv]

Ladies... I missed you guys!!! I am SOOO MULTI-pages behind... and staying at the villa today to catch up with my lovely sisterhood would not go over well (i know, i know, really... priorities!). So i skimmed...

Jenn-- Ha! The newest member of the "You ugly toe" club. dh BADLY jammed his toe this am... i told him that now he could be a member... he goes "huh???". I'm thinking some blue toenail polish will make it all better. They will be so mesmerized by your sisterhood nails they will miss the swollen nasty mess attached to it . so glad we've got a sista set to stim. And no, i don't think there is anything wrong with not being "pumped up" about cycling (if there is, i am going to be in deep sh*t!).

Melissa: i SOOO want the pie recipe (s). I will email you! How was your test?

Patie: sorry boss is being a pain, and this is a new boss, right?

Fee: sorry the anxiety is flaring up... but i am glad the pain went away. Yoga, guided imagery, massage, chocolate, cheese, pastries, mac and cheese... ummmm, somehow this took a culinary turn

Nickster-- Barium?? Yum Yum! Will be waiting to hear how your CT goes.

Vicky: so bummed over your BFN. So in case you are still reading during your break from the boards... I am so sorry. This sucks. D*mn IVF. I see from your ticker you are headed to Argentina... In case we don't hear from you... have a fab time. I hope the trip will help you. You know where we are when you need us. bummed i missed the Diet Coke party! Hope you threw one down for me!

Meg: working on a good rant for you! (couple more days in the same house with the inlaws should do the trick by the end of the week!)

So things are great here. We are having a relaxing time. We have been doing lots of walking and i have been taking tons of pictures... a few i have on my flickr site--- www.flickr.com/photos/aunt_sassy. (the austria and beginning of the italy albums are on the right)

Even my preg sil is here, and has not been feeling well... and i haven't even batted an eye. I don't really think much about IVF, the heartwrenching longing for a child has tempered significantly (which i imagine is just a temporary phenomenon ). Was going to cycle in July. but then i realized maybe we should wait until August so that dh supplements have more time to work... and i am trying to talk him into acu. I don't know. I don't know if it is me becoming resigned to the fact that ivf probably won't work... but it feels peaceful to me, so i am going with it.

Also, to some degree I don't really want the cycling to end. I am pretty sure that i would stop if unsuccessful after 6 fresh. So that means i only have these 2 more left. I think to some extent i am dragging them out a bit so i don't have to face what is probably inevitable. Whatever. Now i am just thinking "aloud". blah, blah, blah. I am going to take my happy butt up to the shower so we can blow this joint (which, btw, there is a picture of on my flickr page)

Wishing you all a lovely day. SOOO glad to have high-speed internet again!!!

[sassynlv]

Wow! Apparently i know how to bring conversation here to a screeching halt! Where is everyone?

[FionaA]

Here I am, have about five mins before car pooling buddy starts agitating to go! She's apparently got an appointment to donate blood so can't be late!

Sass your holiday sounds bloody fantastic, and the pics on your flickr site are awesome...so what's the food in Italy like, I'm VERY food oriented and you describe your food adventures so well.

good one for your new found "distance" from IVF, it must be good to just give those awful "I want a child" feelings a break. It's such a hard thing to escape so you are doing really well. As far as pushing out the IVF timetable, hmmmm I guess I never really thought about where my end point with IVF would be so not sure what to think about your delaying feelings, could also be just the need to have a decent break from the whole IVF thing. After all it does suck ass.

Nickster, don't envy you that barium stuff...seems like the sisters are entering into a "horrible testing" phase....good luck with the results

Oops Mel sorry was getting ahead of myself on your testing, obviously I am too keen for some answers here...Oh well I will rev up my good wishes for ya next Monday too. As far as my pains go, they vary in terms of type and place....I've found a good and fairly non alarmist web site to look up my symptoms and so have calmed down....having said that I think Yoga is a good idea. And good news, the sun is out and my household water is piping hot! I will wash my hair tonite to celebrate!

As far as cleaning up down stairs goes, yes yes yes, you will need to tart yourself up. It will be like getting back into the IVF swing with various third parties poking around your nether regions. Ah good times. I just walked past my beautican shop at lunch today and for some reason it is closed until further notice....where will I get my pre-OB/GYN appointment waxing done now??? I hate going to new beauticians, enough people have seen my voodoo lately to last me until next century!!

Oh bloody hell car pool buddy wants to go before I have spoken with other sistas, Oh well will try again tomorrow, hope you are all well!! Fee

[jenn]

Hey sistas!

Well the shots have begun. Wish me luck!

Sassy your vacation sounds wonderful!! I love the pictures. You are such a good photographer! I'm glad that you get to relax and take a break. Sounds like it is doing wonders!

Nickster~ how was the barium? and the CT?

oops gotta go
phone ringing- back later!

[nickster]

Sassy~ Wow... those pictures are amazing! It looks absolutely beautiful! Now I am even more jealous! Is that your in-laws in that picture with you? Hopefully they're not driving you too crazy yet.
I'm so glad to hear you are enjoying your vacation and left the 'ol IVF at home! That's pretty hard to do but I'm glad you've been able to. You deserve it!

Jenn~ So the shots have begun, good for you! When do you start your scans? What did we decide about that poor toe...socks or no socks?

Fee~ You are so funny! People seeing your voodoo, that cracked me up! That really does suck though that your shop closed up. I hate that. Just when you get used to something...the nerve of them!
I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better about the baby. I can understand worrying about stuff though. It's like you try so hard to get pregnant then when you finally do get pregnant, you want to always know everything is ok. Hang in there. It won't be long before you feel noggin swimmin' around in there!!

Melissa~ How's everything going for you?

Ohhh...for all the reality tv watchers...what did you think of the Amazing Race finale. I was so glad Eric and Danielle won. For a while, even though Mel said they wouldn't, I really thought Charla & Mirna we're going to get close. I would have been so mad if they would have won! Then at the end, when the queens almost caught up to Eric & Danielle, I couldn't get enough of the suspense!!! I thought it was a great finale.

Patie~ How are you? How's the magazine coming along?

Wanna, Meg~ How are you girls?

Vicky~ I'm still thinking about you and dh. I hope you are doing ok.

So my CT yesterday....
I woke up bright and early to drink what they called a 32oz "apple smoothie" ......UH not hardly! It was disgusting. I spent the whole ride there just trying to keep it down. So I get there, lay on the table and this nurse went to start my IV. He stuck me, dug around with the needle for a few minutes, then stuck me again. He proceeded to stick me four times (and dug) before he finally got my IV. I have had countless nursing students stick me once and get it right in. I wanted to take the d**n needle from him and start the IV myself! So anyway, he said he really didn't see an obvious stone but he said if the stone is further down the urinary tract he usually doesn't see them. So the radiologist was supposed to read it and fax it to my doctor today. So I guess we'll see.

I worked last night so it is my bedtime. Have a good day everyone.

[meg12]

Well, I'm supposed to be at work right now, but my car is trapped in the garage. The spring snapped on the garage opener as it was trying to open and now the door won't do anything. I even tried to do it manually (gasp) but can't get it. I feel like such a loser! Oh well....

I've been having a rough week. It's killing me, this waiting in between doctor's appointments. I'm convinced something has gone wrong. My dh wants to smack me one. Honestly, you guys, I was so sure that pregnancy was going to be awesome (and it is, but!) but I'm always thinking something is wrong. I'm trying to stay stress free for the baby, but it's ridiculous! Help~!!!!!!!!!!

(oops, my dh just got here to rescue my from the garage! So off to work!)

[wannababyIVF]

Vicky-Hope you are doing okay. You’ve been on my mind lately. I am so very jealous that you are going to Argentina and I am going absolutely no where! ARGH…I need a vacation. DH wants to go to Atlanta to visit friends and family during Memorial day weekend. Considering it’s still in the states…not looking forward to it.

Nickster—Sorry you had to drink that nasty stuff. Been there, done that. I think it was for some stomach issue I had years ago. But it was the worst taste ever. I gagged while drinking it the entire time. Hope there was nothing there for doctor to see. Keep us posted.

Sassy—Your pictures are awesome. WOW!! Have you ever thought about being a photographer? Hope vacation is going well. Nothing wrong with a little IVF distance.

Jenn—How’s the toe? Any better? How are you doing with the shots? Are you excited about the ER? WE need another BFP in here.

Mel—I still need to email you about the recipes! I know I’m late but I was not happy about Gray’s at all last week. If I wanted to see Addison’s new show I would tune to it when it came on. Or at least they should have done one hour of Gray’s and the next hour of Addison’s new show. Are you nervous about your test next Monday? I will be saying prayers for you. Had to laugh out loud about you getting the front ready even though the back is getting examined. Way to go on being prepared....such a great sister!

Fee—I know the feeling. Every little ache and pain makes me panic and then I panic more when my symptoms go away. Will it ever end? I am looking forward to feeling the babies move and finding out the sex. I know I should be patient and enjoy every moment but who am I kidding…that is sooooooo not me.

Ange—How are you? Any sign of AF yet or am I late…again.

Hrobinson—Welcome! Welcome fellow ranter!! I agree Gray’s sucked big time!!

Meg—Sorry to hear about your garage episode. That happened to me last winter when we lost power. Garage door is automatic. Took me as hour to realize I could do it manually. Such an idiot. Don’t try and do too much. Don’t want you pulling something while trying to open the garage. You have to pull really hard. I wouldn't do it while pregnant. Then again, there isnt much I will do. lol I know what you mean about waiting inbetween doctor visits. I told DH last night that it looked like my stomach wasn’t getting any bigger. He gave me the look of death and then asked why would I say such a thing. Honestly because I don’t feel like I’m growing. Then yesterday I was having cramping. Called the doctor and he told me to go home and put my feet up. So I did what the doctor said…any excuse to go home.

Who did I miss? Hello to everyone!

As the doctor ordered, I went home yesterday and slept for three hours. It was WONDERFUL. Boy, I tell you, these little ones take a lot out of you. I’m so tired. I could sleep standing up. lol I have begun to realize that this is no longer my body. I’m just a pod. lol It’s like invasion of the body snatchers. The fetuses have taken over. I’m gaining weight, growing hair in places I never knew I could. I look like a teenager all over again thanks to acne. My body is constantly dry. No lotion is helping. I’m thinking about rubbing cooking oil all over my body but afraid that people will think I smell like food. lol Either that or motor oil. Something has to take this itchy dry skin away. Hmmmm, what else, had a leg (calf cramp) it was a biotch! Words can not describe the pain. I must have stretch while I was sleeping and the next thing I knew, I had a leg cramp/Charlie horse whatever the F@#$ you want to call it but it was sooooooooooo painful. All I could do was wince in pain. DH tried to massage it out. Eventually I got out the bed and hopped around the room. Someone told me that pregnant woman sometimes get them but I didn’t believe it. HA….now I know. Other than that, I’m guessing everything is okay. Won’t know again until my next appointment which is next Monday. I hate the waiting inbetween appointments. You have no idea what’s going on inside you. Hope the twins are okay. OBGYN calls them Baby A and Baby B. I need something more original. Any idea? Maybe the twinglet’s. lol Sorry, so corny.

Now, how can I paste a picture of my furry first born. I want to show off my baby fur ball. Guess I need to take a picture of him first. lol If he will sit still long enough.

Talk to you ladies soon!

[Melissa112]

Hey Everyone!

Okay, so my Salmonella Test came back good, she actually said your Progesterone Level looks beautiful! So yeah! But now I have to have the actual Clomid Challenge – I don’t know what it entails yet, but I have to call the nurse on the first day of my cycle which should be Friday – Yay! Then I start drugs!!! Hooray! I feel like I’ve been in limbo FOR-FREAKIN’-EVER! So this will be a nice change of pace! The best part is that our insurance will cover some of it, so it looks like we’ll only have to cover drugs, about $50! So that is fan-tastic! OH, crap, I hope that bum fun doesn’t interfere! I will be SO infuriated if it does! Anyway, I’ll keep you more in the loop as I know more.

Sorry I’ve been really busy with work, that I have been slipping with keeping up with you ladies!

Vicky – I just want you to know that I am thinking about you!!! I hope you and DH are doing well! Where are you going in Argentina, Buenos Aires, or some other little remote town? I have great friends from Argentina, but they are from some little town a couple of hours outside of Buenos Aires.

Nicki – That Apple crap is the worst! I had to do that when they thought I had appendicitis, but it was really cancer – yeah, doctors are idiots. But anyway, I am there with ya, it sucks! But I have to do the liquid diet, and that salty crap on Sunday that makes you poop like you’ve never pooped before, I might actually choose the Apple Crap again! I told you that Mirna and Schrnia weren’t going to win – I am glad that Eric and Danielle won, but I heard they aren’t together any more, per E! News, apparently the show wasn’t very good on their relationship. But I think with all of the adversity and Yields they had gotten stuck with that it’s cool they won! (And I hope your CT scan comes back just fine!)

Sassy – I loved all of your pictures! They are amazing! I am totally jealous!!! I am sooo happy for you and your Mini-IVF break! Sounds like this trip was just what your mind needed! The pie recipes are YOURS my dear, just say the word!  Have I mentioned how jealous I am of your trip-s!

Jenn- I hope your toe is doing better!! Are you doing alright? I’ve been thinking about you A LOT! Yay for shots!

Wanna- I totally agree, Grey’s stunk! They should’ve done things so much differently, I Just want my Grey’s back! I did hear that they Barwhore we saw in the previews for this week is signed on for a few episodes, can I just say that MY McDreamy cannot be with anyone by Mer! Because a barwhore is no place for his McPenis! Just drop me an email and I’ll send you the recipes! (Melissa@masterpieceweddings.net) You do need your rest! So sleep while you can, because there will be an extreme lack of it, very soon!

Fee- Hip Hip Hooray for washing your hair tonight! That is great news!!!  Although I hear that washing your hair with cold water makes it softer? I don’t know, I’ve always been too chicken to try it… How’s Nogin doing? So the trauma of the year, how are you going to do about your beautician’s shop?

Angie- I hope your AF is here soon!!!

Meg- You poor thing and the garage door, that so stinks!!! Thank goodness your DH came and rescued you! That was the most terrible, funniest thing I have ever heard!

Okay well Friday call the Nurse, start some meds, Monday - Colon and Endoscopies! Fun times ahead! Anyone wanna trade?

[meg12]

Mel--Good job on the Salmonella test! How exciting that you get to start taking drugs...at least that way you feel like you are doing something instead of just sitting there. How's your bum doing these days?

Sassy--Trip looks like it is going wonderously! Hope you're having a blast!

Wanna--My appt is on Monday, too. So we can be crazy together until then. I told my dh the same thing about my stomach! And I'm really sensitive about it, because she measured about a week smaller then we wanted at the last appointment. And I keep telling myself that at the next milestone, I'll stop worrying so much but I think the worry just keeps getting worse. For instance, I've finally started feeling her move so that's been great. But then last night, I hadn't felt her for like 3 hours (which I know is totally common at this point because she's so small but rational thought does not help me!) so I spent the whole night freaking out! I tried not to tell my dh, becasue he already thinks I'm a wacko. Grrrrrrrrrr
Needless to say, she's moving like crazy today so I'm a little less crazy. But just a little!

Well ladies, I am obviously out of the garage. That was nuts. I swear stuff like that only happens to me. My dh just shook his head. He was trying to explain to me over the phone how to manually open it (there was a cord I had to pull) but I just couldn't figure it out. I'm about as mechanically compatable as a.....hmmm can't think of a good comparison. A rock?

Anyone watching Lost tonight? I'm excited!

[Melissa112]

Hey Mego! The bum isn't so good, I keep getting a bloody sort of mucussy discharge - quite often... but I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter becasue whatever it is, we'll know on Monday... Thanks for asking, but aren't sorry you did! --- and your right, even if the drugs are THE drugs at least I feel like we are moving forward, rather than standing in stagnant water And you just need to take a chill pill Miss Mego! The baby is fine, she's moving, she's growing, so all is GREAT! Take a deep breath! Remember your anxiety transfers to her! Soooo have you thought of names yet?

I AM SO WATCHING LOST!!! I am totally excited!

DId you hear they are only doing 3 more seasons of 16 episodes! That's it and then it's ov-a!

[nickster]

Awwww Mel.....you poor thing. Wow, you really do take the prize for the most going in in one's life! I'm sorry you're still having butt problems but your right, you don't have to wait much longer to find out what the problem is. I'm glad the salmonella test came out ok, and good Progesterone levels, that's a bonus!
I did the Clomid challenge too and if I remember right, there's not a whole lot to it. I think you take Clomid once a day for 3 days like on day 3 or 4 of your cycle. Then they do an ultrasound and blood work on a certain day to see how you responded to the Clomid. When do you start taking it, Monday?
That's sad to hear that Eric & Danielle broke up, although you could pretty much see the tension between them on the show.

Wanna~ Sounds like you're a little bit of a mess there. Wow... dry skin, acne, leg cramps...that sounds like a great time! I'm sorry you're going through this. Those twins must have your hormones going totally CRAZY! I've had those middle of the night leg cramps, they are absolutely horrible. Nothing like waking up suddenly to intense pain!
I'm glad to hear you got to come home and take a good, long nap. Good for you. Don't worry about those twinglets, (that has a good ring to it, I like it!) they are doing just fine in there. Can't wait to hear the news on Monday that confirms that!

Meg~ Aw that garage door thing sucks. That's happened to me before too and of course it's always when you're leaving to go somewhere important.
I'm glad to hear noggin is moving around more today. I can't believe you are more than half way there!

Well I called my dr. today after I got up to get my results of my CT. The receptionist answered the phone and I said Hi..the dr. told me that my CT results should be there and I was just calling, and right in the middle of what I was saying she interrupts and says "Oh is this Nicole..yeah we got them. Can you hold on" So I was on hold for a few minutes, then she came back and said "can you give me a number so we can call you back in a little while?" That was it, and I haven't heard from them yet. I'm assuming the dr. will call me back when he is done with patients. It kind of freaked me out a little. I told dh I hope the fax just came and was right in front of her and that's why she knew who I was. I keep telling myself, the guy who did the CT didn't see a thing wrong, so it can't be anything. I guess I'll just wait until he calls.