Awaiting Treatment

[nimble]

Evening ladies, I know been a bad girl and haven't posted in yonks but little Eva has been keeping me very busy and each time I go to post she wakes up and wants a feed!!

Can't believe she is 4 wks tomorrow, where has the time gone - things are going reasonably well however having a few teething problems in getting her down at night time so trying a slight new routine today and so far so good - however won't speak too soon just in case!!

DH has gone back to work this week and its strange being on my own during the day but Eva does keep me busy about 99% of the time

Anyway a few personals - I do read so have been keeping up with the news and our resident DR!

Sophie - I am thrilled that you got to see the h/b yesterday - I know so well how anxious that visit is and what a relief you must have felt when you saw the h/b - hopefully you can start relaxing and enjoy the pregnancy.

Carolyn - wow the Maldives - how can you be mad at your DH - that is so lovely - its the one place I would love to go and haven't yet been to. Hopefully you will hear from the clinics soon - I assume these are the ones in Europe - its good that you have the hols to focus on. Good luck for your appt tom hun. x

Becky - sounds like you've been through a bit of an emotional roller coaster in the last few weeks - I'm no expert so will not try and offer any wise words of wisdom but you are an excellent mother and you will do what is right for you and your family - follow your instincts.

Mir - sounds like you have a fab time with your fav kiddos - did you spoil them rotten?? And you went shopping and didn't buy anything - whats up!!

Right as I said I spoke too soon - Eva is crying - she just doesn't like evenings but think it has something to do with the severe wind that she has - I never knew a baby could produce such a smell!!!

Will try and finish the rest of the personals later or tom - sorry if I have missed any one out....wasn't intentional but little calls............

big hugs all
Nims xxxx

[chriss]

Hi friends,

Congratulations to Sophie.

Yes, I have been MIA and I really don't want anyone to worry about me. But I must tell you, it's difficult to come on here sometimes. Because I have had many failed cycles and am facing big decisions right now, it's difficult to read about the BFP's and babies. I know this may sound harsh, but I am being honest with you. I've been at this for a long time. It just hurts so much.

So please forgive me that I do not post here. I am moving toward DE and have been posting a bit on the eggheads thread because it is helpful to chat with others who are going thru the same things. I've been so busy back to work and don't find the time to get online much. I hope that no-one takes this the wrong way. I do wish the very best to all of you, and I think of you as wonderful friends. I just wanted to explain myself so you don't think I just dropped you all. I hope you understand.

Best wishes to you, -chriss

[shantala]

hi all

just wanted to pop in and say hi and to let you all know that i do read your posts and keep up to date (even if i dont post)!

sophie - fantastic news on your lovely heartbeat!! hopefully, you'll start relaxing more and more as each week and the month passes! so pleased for you hun!!

becky - got your email back thanks. will reply soon hun. you'll be absolutely fine and so will dd and dh!

chriss - i think everyone on here understands. i'll be honest, one of the reasons ive not been posting too much on this thread is for that reason exactly. i almost feel guilty sometimes for my BFP and still feel the hurt and pain anyone undergoing tmt can feel at times when seeing a BFP. hence why i dont like to post anymore. believe it or not, i still get frustrated with people who can pop them out like there's no tomorrow or people who complain they dont have a certain sex (ie boy or girl) and even get envious still of any natural pregnancy. anyway, just wanted to wish you best of luck in what you decide. oh, and as for DE.....i met a lady with twins and found out from another friend that her twins are DE (so they are not biologically hers but they are biologically her DH's) and you know what, you wouldnt know.....you can see the love she has for them and all of a sudden, the fact they are not hers biologically goes completely out of the window. they are such little blessings despite that. dont get me wrong, i know there are other issues (dh and i considered donor sperm at one point so i know the issues that come with donor) but once i actually saw a woman with actual babies, it makes it so irrelevant about the biology. anyway, i will stop going on now....best of luck in whatever you decide to do!! xxx

hi to everyone else (there are so many of you!)!! like i said above, i read all of your posts all the time....as usual i still feel all the emotions with you, sadness, anger, happiness, excitement, etc! even if i dont post!! love you all!!

xxx

[chriss]

Hi Shantala,
Thanks for the message. Yes, I feel so bad about not wanting to hear anyone's BFP and/or baby news. I long for the day when it doesn't hurt. Once I am pregnant I know I will feel such relief and I'll wish I was better able to share in everyone's joy. I feel great guilt and sadness about that. This is such an exciting time in your life and I can't muster up enough strength to share it with you? It's a sucky feeling. I am glad you understand. I know I am being selfish, but I feel like I need to protect myself somehow. I was going to PM you this message, but I guess I just want everyone to know that I do care... I just am having a hard time being a part of it with you all. And Shantala, thanks for the kind words about DE. I feel lucky that it is an option for me because women before me did not have the option. Thank you. Wishing the best to you and your family.

[shantala]

oh chriss - please do me one favour before you leave the awaiting treatment thread. please DO NOT feel guilty or sad about how you leave. it is SOOOOO natural to feel that way and it doesnt make you a selfish or horrible person...as you said, you're just protecting yourself from hurt, anger, sadness, etc. take it from me that anybody who has a couple of brain cells will understand why you feel the way you do....and those that dont have those cells, arent worth it! your time will come, in one way or another. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Miracle08]

Hi CHRISS!!!!

I hope you are reading this...

You are not being selfish at all. You have to protect yourself. Shantala said everything that i would have said. Seriously, we all understand your need to put some space between you and baby talk or BFP's. Everyone deals with things differently. I too, used to be very jealous, sad and yes even angry because I would see the women who get pg just by looking at their DH and they take it for granted. I still feel anger, hurt and jealousy sometimes. I used to think I was a horrible person. But I now realize it is very natural. Please don't put yourself down, or feel guilty about your feelings. They are totally normal.

You are a very strong woman Chriss. Like you said you have been dealing with this nightmare for a long time. I am happy to hear you are moving on with DE. Dont let anything stand in your way to motherhood. Chriss, your time will come. Dont ask me how I know, I just feel it. You and Dh will be wonderful parents. You are a wonderful person. Remember that. I will pop my head in at the Egg Head thread to keep an eye on you.
Sending you BIG HUGS and tons of love!!!!!!!

Mir

[Miracle08]

Hi Ladies...

I hope this thread will wake up again...

Carolyn, a nice vaca away from everything sounds awesome!!! Dont worry about the money, you and DH need to get away from it all. I am really irritated about those clinics. I really cannot believe their customer service.

Hi Shantala! So nice to hear from you!!!! How is your little family doing? Please dont feel guilty about posting here. We love hearing how you guys are doing. It would be differet if everyday you posted about how fantastic motherhood is and posting a zillion pics...that we be hard to face. but you dont. You come to check in on us and just to chat! We miss you.

Nims!!! HI there Mummy!!! Dont fret. We all understand. Sweet Eva comes first. I sure hope she starts sleeping better for you!!! I cant believe she is 4 weeks today either. Time just flies!!!

Has anyone heard from Beach?? I wonder how she and the twins are!!

Angel....where are you internet police woman????

Thinking about you Angie!!!

Sophie, I hope those pills are working for you.

I will check back in later girls...

[nimble]

Hope completely understand where you are coming from, I have been there during the last few years and at times was a complete ostrich (head in sand) and didn't want to engage in any conversations about other peoples pregnancies. I'm also with Shantala that I'm very aware about posting here and would hate to think that posting would cause any upset or pain to anyone on this thread and if it does offend please let me know - it is not intentional.

As miracle said your time will come, I'm sure of it.

Miracle - as I said above, please do say if at any time it gets a bit much - although I don't often post any more - but do read and keep up with the latest goss!

Shantala - hope all is well with you - sent an email last night - you have such a lovely way with words but then told you that a zillion times before!!

Hope everyone else is doing well
nims xx

[shantala]

good morning ladies

nimble - aaww, thank you for the compliment about my words. thats really sweet. have replied to your email now. sorry didnt get a chance earlier but its been manic here. hope you and eva are doing well and we get to see you soon!!

sophie - how are you mummy?? are the anti m/s tabs working?

mir - aawwwwww, thanks! i miss you guys too! we're doing very well thank you. just cant believe how quickly time is flying! elliana is nearly 5 months! so how you doing?? ive lost track slightly on where everyone is. whats happening next with you?

wishfull - how did your app go??? hope you hear from the other clinics soon!

welshbugger - how are you hunny?? are things getting better at home? xx

hope - how are you??

everyone else - HEEEELLLOOOOO!!!!!!!! i know ive missed loads of you but thinking about you all.

we're doing very well thank you. just trying to wean elliana on to solids, which she is taking too very well. apart from that, i've started school again, which i do one monday morning a week. in addition to that, i'm having to go to a number of first and second round interviews for a job in 2010! the first round interviews arent too bad as they are just an interview but the second round ones are a killer. yesterday for example i had to go to this firm for the whole day and do 5 x 1 hour assessments on various things. an hours lunch with the staff inbetween but that was it!! so knackering! the next second round interview with another firm is spending 3 whole days with them! ugh!!! cant wait! anyway, enough about me....hope you are all well!!!

xxxxx

[Angel505]

Hello everyone,

I'm still around but very busy and stressed out at work. Plus still feeling quite down for some reason and don't have much to say.

Will try to get back to my normal self this weekend and do personals next week.

[shantala]

angel - no problem, take your time, we understand. lots of love xxx

[wishfull27]

Hi Ladies

sorry not been around - not sure where the time goes

had appointment at clinic yesterday re DE - rally nice nurse and seems good set up - have gone on waiting list - its about 8 months but at least feel better that have actually done something about it!! Had email back from prague clinic today and will also go to see them - wait is about 4-6 months but cost is half of what in UK ... so at last a plan is coming in to place

Nims/Rachel/Shantal - so glad to hear from you all and don't feel bad about posting - we like to hear the news and its people like you that keep us going and motivate us more .. so glafd youa re all doing well and Eva, Eliana and Ruby are all doing well xxx

Angel - aw honey sorry you are feeling so shitty - you need another session from sophie - except her head is prob down the loo chucking up - only joking Sophie!!! Think you need to book a pamper - facial or massage and have some DH and you time and try and forget about crap at work - it will still be there whether you worry or not about it - sending you big hugs((())) xx

Mir - still working too hard I expect as not been around much - anything exciting planned for the weekend - how is Dh getting on in his new job - is he still away in the week ??

Becks - hope all ok - when does DD go to Uni?? - hugs honey ((()))x

Ang - thinking of you xx

Will be around tom as working from home so hopefully will have someone to talk to !!!

carolyn xx

[Miracle08]

Hello ladies....

WHERE IS EVERYONE?????

Yes, I am still working tooo hard... I cant wait until the frist of October!!! Oh, Wishfull, yes DH is still working out of town during the week. I have a baby shower to go to on Sunday so I am hoping for a nice day on Saturday with hubby!!!

Angel how are you? I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Big Hugs!!! I am thinking of you lovey!!!

Angie, thinking of you too...

Wishfull...FINALLY they are starting to respond to you. I am so glad you have a couple of options now. Heck yeah, if Prague is cheaper hopefully they come through first!!! So you should be around to play today???!!!!

Sophie...where are you?? I hope you arent in the loo chucking up your breakfast!!!! MISS YOU!!!

Becky...how are you? How is DD??

ok I know Chriss said she wasnt coming here anymore...but I still have to say, I am thinking of you Chriss...just in case she comes by..
Miss you tons Chirss!!!!

ok...I will be on later. I have tons of filing to get done....

[stephjim]

I am doing well. I have been on out of work rest now for 2 weeks so going a little stir crazy but it has helped because my bp was back down yesterday at the OB. I am just anxiously waiting on my short term disability to get approved. Should hopefully know by next week some time. Umm... I failed my 1 hour diabetes test so took the 3 hour test last Wed and passed that with flying colors so the gestational diabetes is no longer a threat. I have been fighting a head cold this week but other than that, everyone is doing well. Ryan and Emily are kicking everything in sight inside of me, and I mean everything. Their movements are becoming more visible now on the outside. DH always seems to move to the next spot when they kick and misses it. My DSD felt a kick the day of my shower, which was cool, but my poor neice has some calming effect on them and they stop as soon as she touches my belly just like my husband.

It is great to hear everyone's updates. Sorry I have not been on here in a while, just been resting and taking care of baby preparedness. I will address personals later this weekend. Has anyone heard from Waitingformia? I have not seen her post on her in a very long time. Anyways just wanted to drop in real quick and say hi. I am off to take a shower to see if it will clear up my nose.

Talk to you soon.

[wishfull27]

Hi mir and Stephjim - I am here- just day run away with me again

Went to gym and then for thyphoid injection for holiday today when meant to be working so can't moan too much

Hope everyone has a fab weekend xx