Now what?

[SuportingHusband]

We have been trying to have a child for almost 3 years now. About a year ago we decided to see a specialist. Had surgery on me to correct the "Soldiers", but we still require ICSI.

Our first IVF cycle produced 8 fertilized eggs, but not of good quality with as much as 20 percent fragmentation. The cycle failed. Previous Doctor.

The second cycle produced 10 eggs, but none were mature and we never made it to transfer. With Doctor Goodman, located in Tampa and Clearwater Florida.

Doctor Goodman ( from http://www.floridafertility.com/ ) decided to try a new protocol. Doctor says egg quality is not the best. Last cycle she said we may want to look at donor eggs if the third cycle fails. We want a child, but I really want a child with my wife. She is so lovely, beautiful and I care so much for her... I want to have a baby with her.

We did our third IVF this month. 10 eggs retrieved. 3 mature, only one fertilized. 5 more matured over night and were then fertilized. 3 of these 5 eggs fertilized.

Day of the transfer we had one 3 day egg and three 2 day eggs. The doctor transfer the one day egg and the best of the two day eggs. We completed the 2WW and went for blood test today and we are waiting to hear back. We cheated a little and did a home test, but it came back negative.

If this cycle fails I want to look for a better facility or a way to improve our chances. Any advise???

Is there a limit on how many tries of IVF you can do?

[SuportingHusband]

The blood test came back negative. How can you find a better IVF center?

[SuportingHusband]

Doctor Goodman has been really great to us and her staff is wonderful. I was feeling down when I posted originally.

My wife and I really appreciate Doctor Goodmans help and advise. She has a wonderful bed side manner and she goes above and beyond.

Just hoping for a baby and I am sure Doctor Goodman will help us have one.

[loopylou57uk]

HELLO THERE, I AM REALLY SORRY THAT IT HAS`NT WORKED OUT FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE BUT PLEASE DONT GIVE UP AS IM SURE IT WILL ONE DAY,THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEVERAL TREATMENTS,BUT THEY GET THERE EVENTUALLY,
I THINK IT IS UP TO THE INDIVIDUAL HOW MANY TIME YOU USE IVF DEPENDING ON FUNDING,
I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU BOTH
LOVE LOOPY.

[caz1]

POor you - I know how AWFUL it is when treatment fails - how ever much you talk yourself into not expecting a positive a part of you does. Plus from yr wifes perspective she will probably have been FULL of hormones that really make you feel pg. Pretty grim.
BUTT....you will feel better, I promise, it just takes time.

Dont think there are any limits to how many times you can try ICSI. Altho I think some doctors do say if it hasnt worked after 2 or 3 goes you should maybe think of other options.

How does yr wife feel about donor eggs? Might be worth asking to chat to a councellor. I hear what your saying that you want HER baby - but remember it would be her baby in SO many ways. You sound like you love her massively (not many guys come on here!) - so I'm SURE you could make it work

The way I look at it is that - this isnt a perfect world - we dont all get what we most want - when it comes down to it , you need to ask yourself - if it comes to the point where the doctors say donor eggs are your only chance , then you have a "straight" choice of NO baby or a donor baby . Which would you choose? I know what I would ....

I'm probably over simplifying it - and I know that my husband and I have been debating it for nearly 2 years!!

Anyway - all the best to you both

[SuportingHusband]

My wife is depressed, and is keeping it inside. I keep telling her that I am here for her if she needs a hug, a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to her.

Using a donor egg is an option, but only if she is willing. I won't push her on this, even if it means growing old with no kids.

We are fortunate that she ahs a sister that is willing to donate eggs. My wife seems more comfortable with the idea of using her sister’s eggs. When we talked about it as a possibility last night she broke down and cried for the first time since we started this cycle. Her only comment was she wanted a baby to be hers.

I can understand how she feels. Before my surgery to fix the "Soldiers" we had to consider donor sperm. Not sure there is anything I can do to help her. I just have to support her with any decision she makes and love her unconditionally.

Scheduled our follow up appointment to find out what the Doctor advises. Its a big waiting game.

[Rhonda Richards]

(((((((((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))))))
Just read you messages and just wanted to send your wife a big hug. I haven't even gone as far as IVF because I am so scared and can't even imagine how I would feel about donor eggs. You are very right that it is a waiting game, but lots of luck to you and your wife with your follow up and hope the outcome is positive.

[caz1]

friends of mine who have kids - have said that the connection you feel for them is mainly because they are SO TOTALLY reliant on you and teya re so vunerable - its NOT just because they have your eyes/ nose or whatever.
I suspect thats quite a female view point....but thats what girlfriends of mine have said - if it helpd your wife re donoer eggs at all

Cazx