Lost my baby girl at 20 weeks, please help ...

[angelaezra]

I just had my 20 week appointment yesterday only to find out that our baby girl is gone. I asked for second opinion from a high risk OB and she confirmed it. I can't believe this is happening! I keep thinking I'm dreaming. I can't believe I am loosing another child. But, with this one I have to deliver her tomorrow. I don't understand how life can be so cruel. I feel like I can't go on ...

When my RE did my blood work up, I tested positive for the Lupus Antigen but I currently do not have it. I have been on daily Heparin shots and baby aspirin since I have been pregnant. But, obviously it did not do any good. I don't know who else to turn to but you ladies. Please help me, what do I do next?

Angela

[Vlada]

Angela,
I am so sorry that it happened to you, i hope everything will go safe for you tomorrow. I will pray for you.
Vlada.

[Sara30]

Angela

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I can feel your emotion in your words......

I am sorry you are going to have to go through the delivery tommorrow and I will be thinking about you and keep you in my prayers. No one can tell you what to do right now, just go with your feelings and do what feels right whether its crying, screaming, sitting silently or talking, you will know inside what you need to do......

Life can be cruel and so unfair at times and I don't know why it has to be so............

You know there are people here you can lean on if you feel you need to.

Thinking of you, your DH and your little girl........

Lee xx

[bdantonio]

I am so sorry for you loss. I have lost 5 pregnacies and all but 1 of them was 2nd trimester. It is not easy or fair. I hope that they can give you a reason why. I was on lovenox and baby asprin with my last one also.

[ogr1]

this will be one of the hardest ones to go threw.
be prepared for your breast milk to come in.
i thought i was going to comepletly lose it when after 3 days of having our son my milk came in and my son wasnt here to drink from me.
i fely like i betrayed my self and my son and my husband.
allow youself to grieve and give yourself time.
and prepare yourself for people not understanding and that some may say things to you that they shouldnt try and remeber that they are just trying to help.
i was lucky and my husband was great and i had my faith and some great friends on here.
or i wouldnt have made it.

[baylorbear33]

Angela... I am so sorry for your loss. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through as I lost my twin baby girls at 19 weeks back on 8/30/08. I too had to deliver them in the hospital. It is a tough, tough process but you will get through it. The best advice that I can give is to let yourself deal with this on your terms. Do not let anyone tell you how to feel, what to do, etc. You are a strong person (you would not have gone through IVF if you were not) and you can get through this. Keep the faith, and as hard as it is to hear/believe, God has a plan for you. Please know that I am thinking of you!

[angelaezra]

I want to thank everyone for your replies. I can't believe this has happened to us. We named her Ashley. I could not believe how much she looked liked my DH. It is so comforting to look at him and know what she would have looked like when she got older.

I am hurting so bad right now. I am at a loss of words right. But, your replies mean so much to me. I really feel like I am supported.

Angela

[garfieldtracy]

Just checking in to see how you are doing. I know how you felt and I also know that there are no words that will help - only time. So I will just say I am deeply sorry and hope you are doing better.
Tracy

[angelaezra]

Thank you for asking. I am doing ok ... just taking it one day at a time. I have my good days and my bad days. I went back to work early because it was too hard to sit at my house during the day alone.

I have found a much better team of doctors and we are currently trying to figure out our next plan of action.

[garfieldtracy]

Do what you and DH want. If you want to try again - OK, if you want to explore other options - OK. If you want move forward fast then go for it. If you want to move forward slowly the do that. There is no right/wrong answer to how you proceed next. It is what you and DH want. What I am saying is the you will never forget Ashley (I think of Scott every day), but with time it does get easier to move forward with life - whatever that involves for you and DH. Hopefully soon your good days will be more then your bad days.
Take care,
Tracy

[BabiesGalore]

Angela,

Really sorry for what u are going thru. I lost my baby to an chromosome abnormality at 17.5 weeks in January and all i can say is that there are good days and then bad days. We will never forget our baby but just trying to take it one day at a time. The pain will lessen but will never go away. Anytime u want to talk..i am here. I go thru the worse part thru' counseling and support groups. My heart goes out to u.

Hugs,

[Butterfly27]

I'm so sorry about your losses. Your story made me cry. Life can be really unfair! Honey, I'm glad to see that you don't give up! I'm sure you'll get what you want. We should always fight for our dreams and goals no matter what. There are so many girls who really want to help. They propose their help on forums and the do it with pure heart.

[kierrajack]

Hey Angela, I am sorry to hear about your loss. Why life give us so many complications! aah! I think you should not lose your heart and you must give one more try. It will turn out best. Don't lose your heart. Stay positive. You will be a mother soon. Ttc more to get naturally pregnant if you won't conceive naturally then go for IV. Take care o your diet and health. I wish you good luck.

[Ghost]

Angela has not posted here in 6 years.

[nora253]

Hi there, Angela. I am so sorry to hear that. It is terribe having to go through the loss of a child. I don't have any advice to give. However, I can offer support. Don't hesitate to reach out. If you want someone to listen.