Winter Cycle Friends 2009/2010 - Everyone Welcome!

[lycase]

gi - my little man has Downs Syndrome or Trisomy 21. But he doesn't really have any problems associated with it like heart problems and bowl movement and kidney... he was born with 3 blood vessels in his umbilical cord which is more like us then DS. Normally DS little people are born with only 2 blood vessel in their UC and so that's where the kidney and intestine problems comes from. Mine only his heart has a tiny hole in it which doesn't need operation and his electricity shoots the wrong way from his heart (that i have no clue what it means). But he is very floppy though still doesn't hold his head and stuff... it's all mussle tones that is bad in them. So I think we will manage. He will just have a harder time with sitting, crawling, walking and speaking at a baby. And laster it's things like sports that will be hard and other mussles issue stuff. Just slower and less ways to use up his calories so they get chubby...

So you saw your 12w beany yesterday... how wonderful and nice to know everythign is fine. You are going to have to post a picture you know. maybe you didn't get pictures. But it's ok all that is important is that you are in love with your baby and he is doing great. I am so happy for you girl.

claud - so today is your turn to see beany. Can't wait for the result... how much fun. Ok so you saw your baby... oh glad to know everything is fine and that you have to relax until the old blood is gone... way to go girl.

Angela - yes we have packed everything we could in the time allowed we still have the place for one more week so my dh will have to go back to get odds and ends which is ok... the kids tried to help it was fun. So no internet at the new house until Monday cause I got the date wrong but I have a laptop and my phone gets the internet so I might use that if I find the right box...

So glad you told your co-worker and now it's out and so you can feel proud and exited. I know you are scared but you can still be exited... way to go Angela you have been through so much... your miracle is coming soon!!!

AFM - Moving today. Dh and baby are at home telling the movers what do to etc. and me and the kids are away at work and school. So they can't wait to finish school and be picked up as soon as possible so they can go see the new house... it's so much for for them.

Dh is really stressed or at least he is trying to make me feel bad... he started saying we should have rented a car today. I had a breakfast this morning with my youngest at his daycare so they can take pictures and do a Mother's Day present. I didn't even know MD was this weekend... All the kids keep trying to tell me what they made and also not tell me so it's too funny. So to make sure I would not use a cap to go back to work (pricce of a rented car) I took the bus. Got here late but it's ok I just won't take my breaks and write to you girls .

Then my son said dad something is falling out of my hair something very small. He said it's probably lyce. My God give me a break... it's probably just sand or dandruff whatever. Lyce don't fall they stick to the hair He always says the worse thing just so I freek out... he just knows how to get me mad boy... Anyways I will assume it's the move and everything. I mean this man likes to live at the same place and we move every few years so I am sorry for that... I hope it will be better and we can stay like 3 years there for a change

Finally the lady at the portrait studio called yesterday and she refuses to let me see ALL hte pictures that were taken for me to pick ... so far I had to pick from the 25 pictures they already pre-selected so I said I am buying the CD but she won't put them all on she only want's to put the ones they pick... So for now I got no pictures and think I will have to redo the shoot?? I was so upset, she was so mean and hurtful I was crying again... it's probably the hormones but like it took me so much work and fighting and everything to get everyone, we even had to make 2 trips cause we don't fit in the van and now I got to redo it... boy oh boy... Oh well I guess it's just life...

But I am happy today, I am happy we are moving to a cheeper place with a large park right across the street oh how awesome. I am thanking God for sure.

Have a good day everyone... Hugs and Love

Helene

[katie99]

Hi everyone -

I'm sorry that I was MIA yesterday, but Lou's news really knocked me for a loop. Its still hard to shake the sadness off.

Lou - You are the most amazing woman and you are absolutely right - this is just a bump in the road. You better believe that I will be following you and crashing like crazy when you are ready to try again. Your strength and your outlook are something we all look up to with admiration and inspiration.
We all love you dearly. - xoxoxo

Hazel - I'm sorry that I didnt get the chance to welcome you back properly. It sounds like you had a wonderful holiday. I cant believe that you're halfway there already! How special that your DH got to feel Zorba kicking! I cant wait for that part myself. I love your "beach ball" pics! But I think that you and Claudia will be the lucky girls to only grow that cute belly in the front. I feel like I'm gaining everywhere! Fun, yes? Oooh, Flynn takes such serious pictures, doesnt he? He must have been deep in thought right then. Either that or he didnt feel like modeling. I never get good dog pics as soon as they see the camera out - whatever cute thing was going on - they just stop and wont look at the camera -ugh. Your wedding day pics are so beautiful! I love how they look so natural and unposed. How are you feeling?

Steph - I do like your idea to do the registry, but we will most likely wait until after the anatomy scan to even venture into babies -r-us. I think we're going to be completely overwhelmed by choices and decisions! Can I just copy & paste your link into the list? When you click on it - it doesnt go to your list, just to the opening page - but I found your list thanks to your siggy! I love love love your crib & dresser choice!!!! Gorgeous! Cherry is my favorite wood tone.

Gi - yiippppeee for measuring ahead! are you starting to feel more secure now? You & J must be getting so excited now! And 2 days ahead? I wonder if that means you're growing a big one? I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only only one who's on the crinone forever - maybe it just feels that way?

Claudia - yay, honey! You must have felt so relieved to see little Flick waving and dancing away! Hooray for being officially released too! i hope to join you on that next week. I adore the idea of how to tell your nieces - they'll be so thrilled!

Angela - i'm glad to hear that you told the Dr(s) that you work with - you cant get any better support than that, right? Are you feeling good?

Helene - I love the pics you put up! Just like a Mom to get everyone else ready and then forget about herself. You look fine with no makeup on. I used to not even go to the grocery without makeup on - but lately? its become the rare occassion to put it on anymore! Good luck moving - dont lift too much please!
UGH who need grief from the photo lady? We all have more than enough stress already - and to make you cry? ugh - I hope its just hormones- but no more business for that photo shop! i didnt know that your DS had T21 it sounds like a milder form of it? i hope that he will move right along, just perhaps at a little slower pace is all - as long as he's healthy and happy, right?

Malya - Belated Congrats on having a boy! Our first on this thread!

hugs & prayers to us all - xoxoxo

[lycase]

Hi everyone -
Helene - I love the pics you put up! Just like a Mom to get everyone else ready and then forget about herself. You look fine with no makeup on. I used to not even go to the grocery without makeup on - but lately? its become the rare occassion to put it on anymore! Good luck moving - dont lift too much please!
UGH who need grief from the photo lady? We all have more than enough stress already - and to make you cry? ugh - I hope its just hormones- but no more business for that photo shop! i didnt know that your DS had T21 it sounds like a milder form of it? i hope that he will move right along, just perhaps at a little slower pace is all - as long as he's healthy and happy, right?

thanks Katie. It is probably just the hormones

yes I am lucky he doesn't need surgery most of them do and they don't all make it. Imagine loosing a child boy oh boy. yes I think he is very mild... just mussle problems so far. But he is so happy the best baby anyone could ask for. I didn't want to get up at 2am anymore and so a couple of weeks ago I just didn't and gave him his succie and now he doesn't get up anymore. He only wakes up at 5:30 am and just talks away until I feel like getting up sometimes it takes me 30 min before I really want to. So he is very patient... I am lucky... I know he will talk very much later but so I wont' get crap from him for longer

Hope you are doing good today.

Helene

[Franca]

iv lost my babies

[Stephanieford78]

Franca - I am so sorry for your loss. Any word about what happened?

Katie - Yes, you have to click on registry and enter my name in to see the registry. My name is my screen name without the year of my birth. I understand not everyone is ready yet for a registry. It's just that if I didn't start now, I would never have everything I need in time. lol If I were having one, I would wait about 3-4 more weeks. Not to mention, I don't have a job and Andrew is only a soldier. The only time we get decent paychecks is when he is deployed. My dad's wife wants to help too, so creating the registry not only gives us a visual list of things we need, or preparing for a shower, it is a way for her to look and see the prices of the things we need so she can get it or send us the money for it. So it has many purposes. I love cherry finishes too! Andrew wanted them to at least have different finishes so you will notice one is cherry and the other is espresso. We plan on getting the cribs first, then buying one higher priced item off the registry every paycheck. The rest will be easier to buy after that.

Claudia - YAY for baby Flick! Glad all the spotting is old blood. Now it just has to exit and all will be well. It shouldn't take too long to run it's course.

Angela - Glad you are telling people. That must be a good feeling! Hopefully it makes you more confortable and soon you will be telling a few more people. It's great to get the congratulations from people. Always brings a smile to your face!

Gi - Andrew has been ok... he has had a shoulder issue lately. Likely pulled something while moving some heany things around. He went to sick call and they gave him some meds, but it is likely that he will just have to wait while it heals. He says the meds don't do anything to help. As far as your scan... you are right, we are all like that I think. I feel very well after seeing the last scan and even started this baby registry, but there is a little part of me that says, What if? I think, am I jixing myself or what happens if I get two of everything then something happens to one. It's horrible to think those thoughts, but given all we have been through, who can blame us. However, those thoughts quickly disappear and are replaced with the images of my babies moving and bopping around in there. You hit 12 weeks! Feel secure, you are on your way to having that sweet baby in your arms!

Well, I think I have given up on anyone calling me back. Yesterday I didn't get a headache so YAY. The more I think about it, I wonder if the person I talked to on the phone at the ob office even realized I was a patient there. Part of me thinks that she assumed I wasn't. Otherwise, why refer me to a nurse hotline?? I also gave in on fun time. During a little play time last night I decided to... well, hop on. lol I had no issues, no cramping, no uncomfortableness at all, just fun. Andrew was worried and said we didn't get the ok... of course this wasn't until after because during he wasn't thinking about anything except what was going on. lol I told him, technically we do have the "ok" since it's been over a week, actually I believe yesterday marked two weeks since the last sign of spotting, plus we are in the 2nd tri so we should be good. We just haven't been told with a previa if it is ok or not. I feel like last night was a success! Don't plan on taking advantage too much, though I would love to. lol I still would like to hear an ok with the previa. So I am going to call the actual hospital today and ask the nurse of the doc who diagnosed the previa. I am sure she will get that answer for me. As far as the headaches, I am sure I will have to keep trying to call the OB office for answers there, but not too worried about it.. until my next headache. lol

[Stephanieford78]

Katie - Went to search for my registry like you would have to and I see how confusing it could be! lol Lot's of Stephanie Ford's out there, so I guess knowing my due date and Andrew's name really helps! lol

[lycase]

iv lost my babies

OMG - What happend? No way I can hardly believe it... what is going on... do you know why? Do they have answers for you dear? Oh I am so very very sorry my heart is broken to hear the news... What an aweful thing to go through... What can I say. I am so sorry ... Hugs to you and your dh!!!
Helene

[lycase]

Well, I think I have given up on anyone calling me back. Yesterday I didn't get a headache so YAY. The more I think about it, I wonder if the person I talked to on the phone at the ob office even realized I was a patient there. Part of me thinks that she assumed I wasn't. Otherwise, why refer me to a nurse hotline?? I also gave in on fun time. During a little play time last night I decided to... well, hop on. lol I had no issues, no cramping, no uncomfortableness at all, just fun. Andrew was worried and said we didn't get the ok... of course this wasn't until after because during he wasn't thinking about anything except what was going on. lol I told him, technically we do have the "ok" since it's been over a week, actually I believe yesterday marked two weeks since the last sign of spotting, plus we are in the 2nd tri so we should be good. We just haven't been told with a previa if it is ok or not. I feel like last night was a success! Don't plan on taking advantage too much, though I would love to. lol I still would like to hear an ok with the previa. So I am going to call the actual hospital today and ask the nurse of the doc who diagnosed the previa. I am sure she will get that answer for me. As far as the headaches, I am sure I will have to keep trying to call the OB office for answers there, but not too worried about it.. until my next headache. lol

Well Steph I'd say you are ok and better do it now cause later in pg you won't be able to and after well better forget it you will be way too busy...

good for you

Helene

[katie99]

Franca- I'm so sorry. That came out of nowhere, did they tell you why? big, bug, hugs to you

Steph - I put in steph ford & ft hood tx and it came up right away - dont worry darlin, you are one of a kind!
Do I just copy & paste your link into our list?

[lou71]

Franca -- I'm sorry honey. I feel your pain. Try to look towards the future. It will get brighter.

I thought I'd fill you all in on what has happened since Tues night when I found out my baby was dead.

Wed I saw OB who saif I needed d&c. It was scheduled for 1pm Thur. Hosp called and moved it to 10am. Wed I felt mild cramps and a small amount of brown blood. Wed night around 10pm cramps became contraction-like and coming every 3 mins or so. They were painful enough where I told dh I couldn't sleep. The blood become redder and lots more of it. By midnight I was in severe pain in a constant contraction. I decided to go to the hosp again b/c I knew I couldn't take it for 10 more hrs. Dh drove like mad to hosp. I was moaning & screaming in constant agony by then. He dropped at the door & I stumbled in shaking, dizzy, and nearly passing out. A nurse immediately grabbed a wheelchair & took me back. She asked me what was happening and I said I'm miscarrying, scheduled for d&c at 10am, and in immediate need for pain control. They gave me dilaudid (7 times the potency of morphine) in 1-2 mg increments. I was told I could have it every hour. My pain was 10/10. The dilaudid made it a 6/10. After 15 mins it was a 7/10, after 30 mins an 8/10, and shortly thereafter I was back to screaming and writhing. I was also vomitting often. The nurse felt so bad he gave me the drug again after 45 mins instead of an hour. Then he started bringing the 1mg every 1/2 hr. I still couldn't imagine lasting until 10am as it was only 2am. My breathing was shallow and made my oxygen go down to 82-85%. I focused hard on deep breathing to keep it in the 90's so I could still get my pain med. Dh woul see it drop & say "please breathe". I used over 20 mg of dilaudid in 3 hrs. Unreal. The ER doc checked my cervix & said it was closed. She admitted me to the floor and called my OB who moved up my d&c to 8am, which was the earliest she could get an OR. The floor nuse continued my pain meds & I somehow rode it out. At 7am, I was taken to the OR for prepping. I met with my anesthesiologist whom I knew and he gave me fentanyl and versed, bless his heart! I went in for d&c at 8am and was out by 9:00am. OB told dh that the fetus & placenta had all detatched & was just on top of my cervix. That's the pain I had. I was asked which funeral home I wanted the remains sent to. What? People do that? I signed & donated the remains to the hospital afer "autopsy" which I will get back in about 4 weeks. My pain was immediately better & I was taken back to my room. I had to have my pads weighed for blood loss, my urine measured, get my nausea under control, eat something, and ambulate, before I could be discharged. I went home at 7pm last night. A few of my co-workers asked to come see me and brought me flowers to my room. Another coworker sent a beautiful arrangement to my house. A grievance counselor from OB brought me a pin of baby footprints with wings and made me sob like crazy.

This morning I noticed my belly was completely flat again & I lost 4 inches off my waist. I weight 120 lbs before ivf... 126 lbs when I got pg, and 130 lbs at my 10 week appt. This morning, I weighed 123 lbs. Just proof it's all gone. I packed up all my baby books, magazines, u/s pics, etc and put them out of sight. The maternity clothes I bought last weekend are non-returnable from motherhood & pea in the pod. I put them in the basement closet. Perhaps someday I will need them.

I'll go back to work Monday & move on. I feel so sad and lost. I had a d&c on what was my week 12. I never saw this coming & thought myself as silly for having fears even with a little brown spotting. I wish the d&c was done Wednesday so I wouldn't
have had to go through that intense labor which the ER doc said was worse than real labor as this didn't let up between contractions & there was no epidural to be had.

I feel empty & lost. I'm quite sore & bleeding like a moderate period which I was told would last 1-2 weeks. I should get a real period in 4-6 weeks and then the one after that... in about 8 weeks, I call RE to stsrt BCP's for my next cycle. That cycle is paid for & I even have a few meds left. Wish me luck! I'm sure I'll be posting with my new cycle group at that time. I will post here to let you all know, even if I'm not reading. PM me if you want to talk as I don't think I'll check in here too much in the next month or so. I need time.

Is there any chance any of you have any Follistim or Ganirelix left over you would be willing to donate to me? I pay for meds out of pocket & take 450 units/day. Or do you know where I could get a good deal?

Thanks for listening and being there.
OXO

[lycase]

Lou there is a place where people sell IVF meds online I will try and find the link for you and I got my DE her meds there. It's pretty affordable like 1/3 the price.

Ok found it: http://www.freegaragesale.com/medicine.htm

I am sorry you had so much pain... this is terrible to go through I wish you had at least the ipidural why couldn't they give it to you. You can email me anytime on yahoo or facebook.

Hugs and I am praying for you... but you now what I am glad your maternity clothes are NOT refundable cause YOU WILL NEED THEM. I tell you. You went as far as 12 weeks and so you know you can do it you know need to know what happened to your baby. I lost mine at 12w but noone offered to check why.. so I hope they find answers for you. I know it hurts... both physical but more emotional so anytime you want to vent come here or email me. I love getting emails and get bored easy.

Hugs and prayers your way

Helene

[Stephanieford78]

Lou - Your story made me bawl again. What a horrible experience, there are just no words to tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through so much pain... both emotionally and physically! I have some stims left over, not sure it is what you need though. I couldn't afford follistim so I used reprenex... well UK's version of repronex which is just as good and didn't cause me any adema. Meds are a lot cheaper if you get them from London. I would have spent an extra 2 grand or more if I would have bought my stims here. PM me and let me know if you are interested in my left overs, I will mail them to you. I also have a couple bottles of progesterone left over, unopened of course.
As far as funeral arragements, some people who adamantly believe life begins at conception do burry the remains of a fetus that early. I'm nt sure what I would do unless in that position. My guess is that I would do the same as you at that stage of gestation.
We will always be here to listen, just wish it were possible to be there and give you hugs.

[angelaezra]

Helene – Did your physician suggest any physical therapy for your DS? I’m just wondering if a little therapy some months down the road might help. My nephew had to do that at 15 months because he wasn’t sitting up, crawling, or walking when he was supposed to because of his difficult delivery. It took awhile but if you look and talk w/ him now, you would never know how he struggled through his first two years of life.

Katie – I hope you are doing well today!

Gi - I hope that you are doing well today, also. Yes, in between the scans are pretty scary but it will be here before I know it! Well, I hope ... lol.

Franca – Oh, I am so very sorry. I was worried about you and wondered why we hadn’t heard from you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, even if it is just chatting.

Stephanie – I sure hope you get your answers or at least a phone call back soon. You are taking it better than I would … lol. I would have called back and told whoever answered the phone that I haven’t received a call back and I need some answers now. I think that comes from my years in the medical field and I know how patients worry and need and want answers. But, I am happy you were able to spend some alone time w/ your DH. I sure hope he feels better soon concerning his shoulder injury.

Lou – Oh my, I am so sorry you had to go through everything you had to regarding your miscarriage. Your pain sounded so familiar to me. That is the same pain I felt before I lost Ashley. Except it sounds like you had a complete placenta abruption mine was only partial. I am surprised they kept giving you Dilaudid as it obviously wasn’t working. I know it is supposed to be more potent than Morphine but some people do not receive the same pain relief w/ the same medications. They should have switch to Fentanyl/Versed or even Morphine earlier. Yes, I had to bury my daughter also but I was at 21 weeks. In Ohio, you have to fill out a death certificate and bury or cremate your child if you reach 20 weeks. I am surprised that you had to go through that at 12 weeks. It seems to make the process so surreal when you are filling out the paper work and see your child’s name on a death certificate. I am so glad that you have also received support from your co-workers. Even though it was a horrible time, it did make my DH and I feel better to know other people were thinking of us enough to send flowers and cards. Again, I am so sorry, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

AFM – I am having a pretty good day today. I went w/ my parents to one of the physician’s offices who I normally see every other week for a procedure for my dad. It went well and I am so very happy that it is over! It was like pulling teeth to get him to the office and agree to the procedure. As for me, I am feeling pretty good today … I am just anxious for my next u/s on Tuesday. Once again God, please let my baby be fine w/ a great HB.

[gi]

Oh i nearly afraid to read this site this wk with all the sad news.

Franca my poor girl what happened???? I am so sorry for your loss this is devastating, you and dh are in my thoughts and prayers and i am gonna send you a big Irish ((((((((hug)))))))

Ah lou i am so sorry you had to go thro. so much pain, how absolutly terrifying i cant comprehend what you and dh went thro. My last little baby was tested then sent back to the hospital for a hosptial burial - not really sure how that worked. I also packed away my pregnancy books but i knew it was only for a little while...it will be the same for you. Keep in touch and i will be rooting for you when you are back on the cycling boards you can be guaranteed you will have a stalker!!!

Helena i didnt realise that trismony 21 was down syndrome ah so you have a special little baby, he will bring so much joy to your life. Jason has promised me he will def. take some pictures this weekend and post them up - i would do it myself but i havent a clue!!!!

Claud oh its great to hear some good news and little Flick is doing great!!!!! At least i am not the only one driving
themselves mad with worry inbetween scans!!

Angela glad to hear you are doing well, isnt the days inbetween scans worrysome but i have everything crossed that everything will be ok with your little baby next week.

Katie it wont be long now before your fluttering starts!!! I cant wait for that day because it will be daily reassurance that everything is ok.

Right may go grab a shower, take care everyone i really hope and pray we all have safe and healthy pregnancies there has just been too many losses recently.

gi xxx

[Arabsrcool]

lou, OMG, I am so sorry. I was shocked when I logged on. My heart is breaking for you. I sure wish I had some meds to donate, but I don't. You are such a strong woman and I am sending lots of (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))out to you.

Franca, I am also in shock about your loss. You are in my prayers.

Ronda