encouraging story / embryo donation

[brit1612]

I have been coming to this board for at least two years now, and I am happy to be able to share a positive story with y'all. I know how nice it is to think that you have a chance no matter what you have been through. If there is anyone left out there that I cycled with, thanks for all of the support. I also wanted to say thanks to Ghost for answering all of our questions in such a timely manner, when you feel so desperate it is great to have the knowledge and honesty.

My husband and I tried for a year naturally before turning to fertility treatments. We were told that we have male factor infertility and that I was normal. We went straight to IVF. The first cycle was a complete bust. I did not respond well to meds (even though I was only 22 at the time) and only had 5 eggs retreived. BFN Our second IVF resulted in an early miscarrage (before the heartbeat was seen). Third IVF was another BFN, and 4th another miscarrage. This time we had a heartbeat and made it to the 8 week mark, but the embryo never looked good to begin with, always very small, etc. At this point the rollercoaster ride was beginning to be too much and we decided we needed to try something that could increase our chances. The doctor still beleived that we could have a child of our own if we were willing to keep going through these ups and downs. I came across embryo donation on the net and thought it sounded perfect for us. My husband and I were not real comfortable with trying sperm donation because we worried about how my husband would feel down the line. With embryo donation we would both have the same situation with the genes of the baby and we would get to carry the child. I started researching and found a site (Miracles Waiting, if anyone is interested) were you pay to meet people who are looking to donate their embryos. There are no organizations involved, so the process can go very fast. We began emailing a couple who was interested in us, and decided to meet them. Within a few months of hearing about embryo donation we were having 8 embryos shipped to us. We soon tried our fist FET, got pregnant, and yet another early miscarrage. We were devestated. I thought this was going to be the immediate answer to our problems. We tried another FET a few months later and fell pregnant again. This time (our 6th cycle) was the one! We just recently gave birth to our first child after 5 years of trying to conceive. He is wonderful and worth the wait. We had scares throughout the pregnancy with a large hematoma, we were not sure if he would survive it, but he did. He is our miracle baby and I just wanted to tell all of you to keep trying and to not give up. We have been through pretty much everything possible with IVF, so if you have any questions that I could help with please let me know, I would be glad to answer them. Sorry for such a long post, just know how much these type of stories meant to me.

[islanddebbie]

Thank you for your encouraging story regarding embryo donation. I have been "hovering" over the site of miracleswaiting.org but I wasn't sure if it was a legitimate site or not. It seemed to have lots of people looking to adopt embryos but not that many seeking to donate.

Please let me know your experience with the site, ie: how long did it take for people to respond to you. Did you have to pay for a home study? Did you have to have an agreement drawn up my an attorney? I'm just beginning the donor process after having gone thru 2 failed IVF attempts and my insurance will only pay for one more attempt so I want to be cautious this time.

Thank you for any help/advice/direction you can give. And congratulations on your family. That is awesome and such an inspiration for me.

islanddebbie

[brit1612]

islanddebbie- Miracles Waiting is a legitimate site, and I felt the same way when I first came across it! Even once I paid the money I thought they had ripped me off because it took a couple days for me to gain access. We were very lucky, within a week of joining the site, a couple contacted us. They asked if we would meet them and we decided to take the chance and fly to another state to meet them. This was probably the biggest expense out of the whole process. (Meeting them is not something you have to do. You do not even have to disclose your identity if you don't want to.) I have met people that have been with Miracles Waiting for a year and no one contacted them. It is a gamble, you just have to decide that you are ok with throwing that money away if nothing comes of it. That was very hard for me to do!

You do not have to have a home study done, or use an attorney! (We did neither.) I thought you had to do these things because other organizations make you do them. If you are dealing directly with the couple donating to you then it is just a donation and no home study is neccessary. If you do through an organization then it is considered an adoption and you have to have a home study. It is kind of confusing, I hope I am making sense. Once the couple decided to donate to us I found a sample agreement online. ( I think it may have been from the Miracles Waiting website.) We changed a few things, made two copies, and both couples signed and notarized it. Some people would probably feel more comfortable having an attorney, but we felt very happy with our agreement. Sorry for the long post, but I enjoy getting to share all the info I have had to learn over the last couple of years. Let me know if I can answer any other questions for you.