I am new to this site (only posted once before). This is my 2nd go at IVF had ET 2nd July and did hardly anything last week, stayed at home doing as little as possible to give it the chance but most days l was getting AF pains and so as you do l started to worry. On Friday l saw a spot of blood and then by today there is a bit more, l know l have heard alot of you say before that it could be implantation but this is exactly what happened last time so l feel that this is the end and l cannot seem to stop getting upset.
The only other person l can talk to is my DH (who is wondreful) but he is feeling awful because he does not know how to help me. I feel that life is so unfair not just to me but to all of you that are so desparately trying. I think l feel more let down this time because l thought l had given it the best chance ever.
I'm sorry for going like this but l just needed to let it out a little to try and feel a little better.
Nessie, letting it all out on this board is what is was meant for so don't apologise about posting.
Of course you'll be worried, we all worry during the 2ww no matter what. If there was a spot on blood on Friday and just a little more today, that doesn't sound like AF to me (unless this looks like your usual AF?). Was there any yesterday? I've just had AF during my 2ww and it was a full-on, slow start, continuous for 4 days, slow stop type-do.
It is difficult not to worry and stress about this but try there's nothing you can do to change what's happening so carry on taking it easy, think positively and hang on in there until testing day (when is it?). It sounds like DH is being as supportive as possible. Don't forget how many people bleed through not only the 2ww but pregnancy too. It's really common but not talked about much.
Debra is right these boards are for all of us on treatment who are going out of our minds and have no one else to talk to who really understands.
There are no hard and fast rules about what you should be experiencing during the 2ww. Some spotting is considered a positive thing as well as AF cramps. Some people get sore boobs and a bit veiny but not always. My boobs didn't hurt at all when I fell PG last time.
Just try and relax as stress really doesn't help matters but I know it's easier said than done and I will be the one panicking and worrying as from tomorrow when I have my ET and start the 2ww AGAIN
You have done the right thing by joining us on here and don't worry about what you say or if you need a rant we are all her to help and support you and anyone else.
Best of luck. When is your teat date by the way??
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
My doctor told me even if you bleed it doesn't mean you aren't PG. I didn't bleed, but never got a full on +ve (HCG levels too low - AF came at 2 1/2 weeks after ET).
I'm so glad we can post here when we feel afraid about what's happening. I feel it's saved me from driving my DH and friends batty with every little thought I get about this process.
Wishing you luck for your upcoming test!!!
TTC 2.5 years - Me 38 no tubes; DH 32
1st- IVF June 2004 - early MC
2nd - FET Aug 2004 - Twin boys born April 25, 2005!!!
My test date is 16th July. I did bleed yesturday and today it has gradually got worse (not full on yet), i must admit though that l have given up all hope and have done what l wanted today without worrying about it not doing me any good. I know l shouldn't give up just yet but l just feel so bad, the worst thing is l have got to go back to work tomorrow. It should keep my mind off it but because l sit on my own l know l will sit there when l can thinking about it and there is no way l can explain why l am getting upset.
Good luck Dagny for tomorrow and thanks Debra and Alicia.
Another thing why is it that you always see loads of pregnant people and lots of baby adverts as well just when you don't want to
Hi girls it's Tammi. What are AF cramps?. I've talked to Dagny - Hi Dagny. Hi - everyone eles. Iam on my 2ww and have some cramping not sure if it is good or bad. Also I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of a biopsy to see if you have a protein called entegron (the sticky stuff in your uterus)?
Hey Tammi,
Welcome aboard !!! AF cramps are (aunt Flo) menstrual cramps !!
When do you test ?? I test on thursday at the clinic, but will test at home before .. How many embyros did u transfer??
I am also having mild cramping and it feels like AF will show real soon. Hope not !!!
I never heard of a biopsy to the the enteegron ?? Did you get your results ??
-Teresa
TTC 20 months
Me 28 Dh 31 low sperm count
IVM/ICSI 1st try
IVM (Invitro Maturation) Natural Cycle (no meds)
PREGNANT !!!
EDD March 21, 2005
Hi there
I really felt for you on reading your post - we have ALL been there - and I don't claim that that makes it any better- but it does mean that you are ABSOLUTELY not alone - although goodness knows it can feel like it "out there in the big wide world" enough.
I don't really know what to say - if this time isn't for you -I promise you your time will come. The majority of people DO get a result in the end.
Anyway -don't give up yet - it certainly isn't over!
TRY to keep your chin up (harder said than done -I found wine, and shopping helped alot) - we are all here for you whatever
Cazx
Thanks ever so much it was really nice to hear from you. The wine and the shopping sound like a very good idea, at first l really did think why don't l just give up but then there is that little voice that keeps saying maybe next time i will be a lucky one!!! I think l need to give it little time and then try again, i know i will get over it but l just found it so hard with not talking to someone.
Nessie - so sorry to see that this try hasn't worked. Did you test yet? Do you know for sure?
Keep posting and reading, if it's not too difficult. Lots of peple take a break from the board but find themselves coming back because reading the ups and downs of all the other people going through exactly the same experiences can really help. As Caz said, we've all been there. It hurts like hell and there are never any answers. We just have to keep being optimistic and taking strength and support from each other.
Chin up sweetie,
love
Debra.
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
I tested today and it was a big fat -ve . Am feeling a little better, i think it is really hard going for a test when you know that it is negative -ve.
The nurse said to me today that another lady got a +ve and was told that it was twins and she said she was so upset because she didn't want twins!!!
How can anyone be like that, when here l am and l am sure lots of other people just don't care how many it could be. Oh well there is just no pleasing some people
Thanks again and l will keep talking if not listening at least.
So sorry to hear your sad news. It's so disapointing. I'm still getting bills from our first failed attempt which is so ironic. Yet unfortunately, they still must be paid.
I hope you will be very good to yourself. Rest, cry, buy clothes, go for walks, watch movies over the next few days/weeks. Then who knows, maybe you'll decide to give it another go.
alicia
TTC 2.5 years - Me 38 no tubes; DH 32
1st- IVF June 2004 - early MC
2nd - FET Aug 2004 - Twin boys born April 25, 2005!!!
Nessie...sorry to hear it was a negative. The only good thing about it is knowing for sure. I know it doesn't sound like much but some people get a low + then have weeks of their numbers doing slowly down leaving them in the lurch, praying it's still a + but realising it might end up a - , it's so tough on all of us.
Like Alicia said - be good to yourself, talk lots esp. to DH, cry or get angry if that's how you feel but be ready to accept that this try wasn't 'the one' but who knows about the future?
I am really sorry you got confirmation of the negative. It's so tough but most of us have been through it time and time again and we survive and go back for more torture.
That woman at you clinic needs a reality check I would chop my legs off if it meant I could have twins. Some people just don't know how lucky they are.
Have some time out to pamper yourself and get your mind and body back on track to face what's ahead. Send some quality time with DH and let him spoil you and if he doesn't - MAKE HIM!!
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
there's nothing you can do to change what's happening so carry on taking it easy, think positively and hang on in there until testing day (when is it?). It sounds like DH is being as supportive as possible. Don't forget how many people bleed through not only the 2ww but pregnancy too. It's really common but not talked about much. 
I would chop my legs off if it meant I could have twins. Some people just don't know how lucky they are.