No-one out there having a donor egg?!

[larkles]

HI, Jenny here, new to this board, just surfing the internet on information as I am to be an egg recipient very shortly. After being on the waiting list for 2 years, Dec 21st 2004 was a very special day for me, a phone call from the hospital to say they have found a suitable donor! 8 IVF's down the line, never thought it would come to this moment. And I have no-one close apart from my partner to tell how I am feeling, no close friends, so hopefully someone in here can help me on my way

One cat very sick with kidney problems, very sad in my present state. Dad had bowel cancer late nov-operated & given the "All Clear". My emotions are starting up again as when the previous cycles of IVF did, the encouragement then the disappointment, all feelings are coming back.

Feel silly as I don't know all the terms you are using here

[Kat]

Hi Jenny & welcome to the boards. You are where I hope to be in a year or so. Don't know if you have read my post below but I have just gone on the waiting list for donor eggs after 6 IVFs, they say it will be about a year, we are no. 35 on the list. Where are you having your treatment? How long will it take now to get to ET (embryo transfer)? Is she an egg sharer? Have they matched your features very closely?
How are you feeling about being a recipient? I have so many questions to myself which I don't think will get answered for some time, if ever, things I need to get straight in my head.
Try posting on the general forum too, there aren't many with donor eggs but you will definitely find people to talk to there. I have found it so helpful through all my various treatments just to know people understand.
Wishing you all the luck in the world
Lots of love
Kat xx
Ps sorry to hear of your other problems too, why does it all seem to come at once, I wonder...?

[larkles]

Dear Kat

Thanks for your message, very appreciated. Am feeling so down with partner at momemt, cat put to sleep yesterday morning, sad times for all.

Am thinking of cancelling my treatment, maybe my hormones are going mad, have been hoping for years and now its here I'm scared of failure, I know its a better chance of conceiving that we have ever had but still the negativeness is still there

I am 5'10 olive skin blue eyes, the Chiltern Hospital in Herts have found a donor who is 5'6 pale skin, outdoor type as hobbies, blue/grey eyes and most of all she wants to share her eggs which I think in all my life-what a fantastic person they must be...

My first "day"was 21st Dec when I got my period and they are matching her cycle with mine, I am expecing a phone call in Jan-feb to tell me when to come in, apparently am having the "Sniffer"spray this time to stop my natural cycle then its all go from there

Am also having problems with other half so am really out of thought or reason at present: should I stay and try harder or have I given it all already, I know the answer but it is our last hope, if it dosen't happen this time I am scared of the outcome

[Kat]

Hi, please don't think about giving up, you are so close. You've been through 8 IVFs, you are a strong woman and you can get through this too. All the emotions will have come to the surface again with the call that your donor has been found so of course you will be feeling so scared & unsure.
Easy for me to say, I know, don't know how I will feel when the time comes...someone said to me when I said I wasn't sure about going for donor eggs, just think how you will feel in 10 years time if you don't try and I think she was right, at least I am doing everything I can.
One step at a time, focus on today not the 'what ifs'. I know you will do what's right for you - can you talk properly to your other half or does he not really understand? Is there a counsellor at your hospital you can talk to before you make any decisions at such an emotional time?
I hope that doesn't sound like I am preaching, I am not going through what you are going through right now but please talk to your other half however difficult that might be because you will need him to be there for you whatever you decide.
I am sorry to hear about your cat too, I can't imagine having to deal with that as well as everything else but you will get through this
Take care,
Kat xx

[larkles]

My partner is the best one could hope for-very open & understanding but at this present moment is drinking too much and impossible to speak to properly-he can't see anything

I too didn't want donor eggs, wanted our "own"baby-took me a long time to decide-even my father mentioned it!

I had a psyhic reading last night for many other reasons, she said I wasn't emotionally ready to conceive-so am in 2 minds whether to get myself more emotionally secured or try anyway-other half does not beleive in the "other world" so you can imagine his comments!

Counsellor definately want to do this time, but the hospital we are with is private so would cost-Iwill definately look into others locally

Thanks for your emails-much appreciated


Jen
x

[Jjj]

Hi Jen, you have been through alot with 8 ivf's. What made you consider the egg donor? Did you get through to embi transfer. It was good that you decided to go on the list to receive an egg. I have tubal and ovary problems, but I whole heartedly know where you are coming from with the things that you said. I have had three failed ivf's and was told that egg donor was maybe a better option. However, in my head and genetically i still feel the need for my own baby but i know realistically maybe the donor is a better option. Ivf is not predictable, it is also too expensive for most. It is important like you were saying to give yourself the best chance, emotionally you must feel right. Personally for me, I see that the egg receiving is physically easier as we wouldnt have to take all those drugs. That may in itself make you less stressed. Take a little time on your own, think it through in your mind whether you feel for yourself that you can do this now. You have a chance now and if you feel you are ready you should prepare now and take it. I know what you mean about Physics, they are a guide for you, go with your own feelings but the choice is yours balance all up and then decide. I wish you the best Jjj x

[larkles]

Hi Jjj

Thanks for your message.

The reason I decided (reluctantly-I always believed I would fall pregnant naturally) to consider egg donation as there is nothing left except Mother Nature who is deciding to ignore me at the moment. It was a joint choice after many discussions with my husband that no matter what baby we could give a life and so much love to, it wouldn’t matter if they looked like me or hubby

Not sure what Embi transfer is, maybe embryo? It’s my 1st time down this line and have not had much information as yet, trying to find out on internet but can’t find much info.

My last IVF was abandoned due to lack of response with the highest dose available, very expensive as you would probably know. The doctor I saw that afternoon (2002) said we can definitely guarantee you will get pregnant with an egg donor, He suggested that I put myself on the Chitern hosp list as they have a high success rate and the Chelsea & Westminster hospital in Fulham whiçh I had all previous treatments at and have been on their list since-I was number 61 this time last year, I have since emailed them asking what number on the list I am now-just in case(much nearer to home)

I went to see an accupuntarist today-I had been seeing a lady in Battersea since my last failure for 1.5 years, go my periods back into sync and a lot of emotional therapy which was great until she moved to Brighton to set up her own company-hadn’t had a treatment since July last year,when I went to this new lady today-I knew that this is what I have been missing, it’s a great release!
I feel so much inner calm and have decided to see if we can put it off for a couple of months until we are both emotionly balanced

I was quite surprised that you knew †hat I didn’t have to take all those drugs again-I even didn’t know that!! That has made me really happy, I hated injecting into vials & mixing then ejecting them into my thigh and the late 12.00 final injection at the hospital-you mean I don’t have to go through all that again???!! Please enlighten me as you obviousely know more I do

With love

Jen
x

[Jjj]

Hi Jen, you sound positive in your thinking. I think it is a good idea to carry on with the acupuncture. Some time ago on my last cycle I had reflexology which helped with my hormone levels but I moved to a different area and so it was too far to travel to see my usual person. Since then I have found a new reflexologist but am looking I think now to try acupuncture.

My husband (DH) always thinks I am crazy for doing all this but it does help balance things for me and also helps with gynae pain that I have. It creates a calm in me, if it balances my mind then it must balance my body

On my second ivf failure, I too had the maximum of drugs... 450 iu of Gonal F over days...... yes too expensive...... then just one final injection for egg maturation. But on that occasion it was a failure because they did not fertilise. At the end the consultant said to us that poss it would be better for egg donation he said one bonus would be that I would not have to take all the drugs, simply as it would not be my ovaries that needed to be stimulated. The donor is stimulated with drugs but they time it so that your cycles runs in line with hers. You will need some drugs but nothing like what we had taken to kick start our ovaries. Ask the clinic to send you more information on egg donation. I have some other numbers that I will look up and message you Things are not easy I know but there is a shining light, whether it be mother nature to help or a wonderful donor, the opportunities will be there Jjj x

[ogr1]

if i could have one wish it would be that we could all have our dreams come true.

but i can tell you , that i have lots of children and i havent given birth to them and i dont know how i could love my own any more then i love each one of them.....

we got one boy that was almost 17 and after he had been here for a year are family doctor said that we must have given birth to him
cause he had gotten all of my husband carearistics.....
hhis movements and the things that he said are just like my husbands.

yes i would love to have our own baby but manly so our baby wouldnt feel the hurt that my kids have when they come to us...

egg donors and embies donors are great people and they should get a gold medel.

becky

[Jjj]

Jen, If you look on the main Web page there is column marked Donation click on the egg donation and that will give you all the info about drugs etc as a recipient. Jjj x

[Jjj]

Hi Becky, good to hear from you again. Your last post to Tracey made me laugh. Sounds like life is mad at your end. Congratulations re the news you are to be a grandma, I read it at the end of your posting. Have you started your knitting...... anyway all the best Jjj x

[ogr1]

yes i have started.. i just got done making a blanket.
but i have to admit it was hard..

i have come to turms with everything but i still would love nothing more then to hold our baby in my arms.. when my period comes it is a bummer..

but i did make a nice blanket and now i need to get it mailed off.

how are you holding up?

we have gotten alot of snow. it has been snowing for a couple of days straight. it is wonderful. i love the snow!!!
take good care of yourself

and yes it is good to have some fun on the bords. and if i wouldnt have had to change my name on here so many time i would be the # 1 poster!!!
becky

[larkles]

Dear Jjj, thanks for your responses, unable to access email for a couple of days-makes me think of what we had to do before-talk or write to people!

I think we have been down the same road when I read your email I could relate to all. You are very soothing-have you experiened "Reiki"? am doing my 2nd degree in Feb. Definately would recommend accupunture, so simple and so pure, a very relaxing session as you can get all your feelings off your mind

My husband Markus and myself both decided over the last few days that we are not ready for this at the moment and have postponed the egg donor so someone else can have a chance, not just for that reason-don't real emotionally ready

Org1: You sound like a lucky loving lady-I obviousley have missed some
posts

Thanks Jjj for the links-a[[reciated

Jen
x

[Jjj]

Hi Jen, I had tried reiki about two years ago. Yes, I found it very balancing especially before ivf. My reflexologist used to end the session with a little bit of Reiki sought of like a two in one. I had also had 1 hour sessions of Reiki. But I live too far from him now and have had to find a reflexologist more local to where I am. I always felt so sleepy after the session and was really concerned about the drive of approx 40 miles. All reflexologists work differently, but I miss him. Hence why I think I will try acupuncture, did not want to try chinese herbs though. I am going to make an appointment if I can for next week through recommendation
My fsh can range from 6.4 - 21 on some occasions. The reflexology definately brought the levels down. I read an article recently which stated that stress can go straight to the ovaries, though I am not really a stressed type if I worry a little, then maybe it does go there. I believe in myself and that I will get there, either my own eggs or donor but I will. The egg quality has to be there for a healthy babe, also have been told to gain, a stone as my bmi is down, so I thought I would gain over Christmas. I did but only two pounds. Have also bought a protein powder to boost my eggs..... I will try anything. I am waiting on appointment at some point to see consultant as I may be opting to have a tube removed as it gives pain, it is blocked as well. So that will put me out for a couple of months before I can cycle again. Not too sure whats happening on that front either. Just getting myself in check, emotionally and physically. Hope that you are ok Jjj x

[ogr1]

my post well most of them are a bit wacky
sometimes you need to be a little out of it and we all need to have some fun
good luck trying to make any sence out of my post

make sure and talk with your doc about your tubs..

may all our dreams come true
becky