tracii

[Tracii]

Hi All,

I am a 35 year old American living in Munich, Germany – soon to be moving to Vienna, Austria. I am married for almost 7 years to a 47 year old Brit. My story of trying to achieve pregnancy will be familiar to some of you. Growing up I always wanted a career – this was my number one priority – and to be honest I didn’t think I would even marry until my 40s. I wanted nothing more than to tackle the corporate world. I completed University with honors in 2.5 years and received my MBA with honors in 1 year – ready to light the world on fire at the ripe age of 20. After University I joined a large consulting firm, worked 7 days a week, 16 hours days, traveled the world and ‘worked hard and played hard’. After 8 years of this life(?) style, I met my husband on a blind date while I was helping grow our Eastern European practice in Warsaw, Poland. It was literally love at first site. We were engaged 3 weeks later and had a year long ‘over-seas’ engagement (he was transferred to Singapore for a year). We have been happily married ever since.

After getting married, I continued with my consulting – only being home in Munich on the weekends. Having a family never crossed my mind and then about 2 years ago something happened – not sure what but I wanted a family and away went the birth control pills. I also quit consulting and took a job with a very large German company to be home all the time. We were very relaxed about getting preggers – thought it would happen when it would happen. But nothing happened. I got more involved with getting preggers so about 1.5 years ago I started taking temps, charting BBT, timing intercourse, taking Robitussin, green tea – you name it….nothing happened.

In October 2004 we started seeing a fertility specialist – all the tests were made and we are ‘primary infertile’ (= unexplained infertility). After close monitoring and a failed IUI, we decided to go with IVF. To be honest, I am/was scared of time catching up with us.

This journey has been the most frustrating but also enlightening experiences (I always try to see the positive side). I have learned so much about my body and also about my own ‘pain’ limit – mentally. I never thought this would happen to us – but it has and DH and I try to take one day at a time. I look forward to having this journey behind me and look forward to the next journey of being a mother.

For all of us trying desperately to have a child, our rewards will be the sweetest.

Big hugs, Traci

[lumi]

Good luck with the ICSI. As I have PCOS (hence irregular periods) and always knew that concieving would be tricky (but not this hard....!) so seeing a consultant and then taking the IVF route seemed natural.

It is interesting to read how others 'came' to IVF or ICSI but my only advice is to accept this as THE way you will concieve and once you feel that, the routine of hospital visits ands injections will not be a chore and each day is one step closer to your miracle!

Love Lumi

[AliasR]

Hi tracii

just wanted to say good luck! we never really got to that part - no sperm, no babies. just figuring out what to do next. really glad i joined the board.
unlike you, i always imagined myself having lots of kids but waited to find Mr right. i did but there was a catch... can't imagine anyone else being the father of my children, biological or not.

keep in touch!

AliasR

[sophiejane]

Hi Tracii,
Welcome to the boards and good luck with your treatment. I found this site a life saver .... it really helped me go through my 3 treatments. I am now a regualr on the 'pregannt after treatment' board and am counting down the days to wheh I can join the 'parent after treatment' one.
... be positive is the only advice I can give.
From Sophie-J

[taylorjools]

Hi Traci
good to hear a bit of your history at last
- we have a lot in common sweetie...I spent my 20's and most of my 30's also with MBA 3 lanuguages always travelling (fun NOT) started ttc 5 years ago thinking dh's vasectomy would be the problem after high powered (yeh right) glamourous (NOT) international consulting career in IT (well that's a woman's world NOT) so even when we started ttc I was paranoid to hide it. I guess that's why I boiled over, lucky you, you recognised in time to get off the treadmill and get a life

dh and I were lurv at first sight too - but I was in Paris and he in Freiburg..we clocked up a lot of miles during our 5 months courtship!!!
The delay in starting ttc was that dh didn't want more children at the beginning and to be fair to him, I thought I was prepared to go with that - how wrong I was and he says since 5 years he was wrong too.

I remember still a postcard that my sister (who's a novelist) sent to me when I was in my early 30's - It's a Warhol style cartoon woman looking at the calendar and it's her 40th birthday - caption "Oh damn I forgot to have children" It's not funny is it It's not that, it's pressures of life and circumstances that lead us here. I was married at 25 divorced by 28 and worried about a stable relationship there are loads of reasons why this happens or why we behave like we do, therapy is a good place to sort them out and stop them happening again

I hope now that my priorities are better aligned and that my spiritual self has come forward at last now I am giving her a chance.

Love bigJ

[bubblymichelle]

HI Traci

Firstly I would like to say hello and welcome this is such a fantastic site and I am sure you will find it very helpful and friendly. I am sorry to hear about your failed IUI but I really do hope that your IVF is a positive for you.

We had ICSI and now are blessed with a beautiful Son Alex-Mitchell who is 14 months old today.

Keep in touch.
Love
Shell.
xx

[sue.m]

Hi Traci

welcome to the boards. I just wanted to tell you my story and hopefully offer you some hope for the future.

We were diagnosed as unexplained too. We had been ttc for approx 3 1/2 years and were about to begin IUI treatment when a miracle happened and I fell pregnant with my little boy. He's now 18 months old and is the light of our lives. I'm now expecting again after falling pregnant naturally for a second time, this time unplanned. I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and very much looking forward to our new arrival.

I strongly believe that our minds play a huge part in all this, and however much it peed me off when people said we were 'trying too hard', I actually think there might be something to that. You say you were very career driven, and I remember reading an article by an 'expert' who believed that women can almost condition themselves to not fall pregnant whilst pursuing careers and then have difficulty falling pregnant when they do wish to start a family. I found it really interesting, as I spent my twenties with no desire to start a family until my thirties, but it turned out not to be quite so easy as I'd hoped.

Well I've rambled on for long enough, but I just wanted you to know of a success story after an unexplained diagnosis.

Good luck.

Sue.x

[LittleP]

Hi Sue

Thanks for sharing your happy news - it's stories like yours that give us all the courage to go on.

Hope the pregnancy is going well

Little P

[Tracii]

Sue, what a great story! I totally agree that there is a definite mind-body connection. DH and I also never seem to get the 'timing' right - stress has brought havoc in our lives and has/is taking us a while to get our priorities in order - whether it is starting a family or just making our life more simple. It is amazing how you can get caught up in the work/money/material items cycle - and we have moved away from this and now enjoy our time. DH still works alot but he loves his job and I have never seen him happier. I quit my job and will be leaving my company end of April (successful pregnancy or not). I found my work enviornment unhealthy mentally (people do not treat each other with kindness). Everyone keeps asking how I can just leave my position - I find it totally easy and I know it is the right decision.

All our family and friends tell us 'It will happen if you just relax. Go away on holiday for a while...'. I try to explain it is not easy and you can never just relax....but of course until you are in this situation - noone understands. Also if you explain you are 'unexplained' - they think oh there is nothing wrong with you - but they forget medical science is not perfect and not fully advanced - maybe in 5 years there is an explanation for our infertility but now we just have to live that we just don't know.

I don't regret my time working and I can never change the clock, but I am happy I finally decided to do something about it

[nicolamark]

Good Luck, and welcome. You will find heaps of love and support here. any questions just post and your'll soon get an answer!