I'm new!

[jag]

Hi All
What a fantastic website! At last I have found people who are going through the same thing - wow people who are on the same wavelength as I am!

Here is my story. I'm 30 DH 47. (DH has 3 teenage kids from previous marriage). I have PCOS DH had vas reversal about 2 yrs ago. We were told it was successful. So we had been trying for over a year with me on clomiphene until the clinic decided to retest DH. He had developed antibodies and we were told this could happen. We were frustrated - if this was a thing which could happen why didn't they test at regular intervals after the reversal to see if everything was ok - instead we had gone on thinking all was rosey. Our clinic is a 3 hour drive away and the doctor only visits once a month. I always felt so isolated. We had an IUI last November time which was -ive. We were put on the waiting list for GF IVF.

I'm currently on my first IVF cycle and on day 9 of injecting myself with the Lucrin. I'm waiting for my period to start (which are always so erratic) so I can be notified of when to start the gonal. I am finding the injections hard - not the actual pain of the injection - its not painful although I do bruise - does anyone else get this? Its the emotional side of the injectoins. Every morning when I get out the little black vanity style bag which all the injections came in I feel as if I'm getting out my baby making kitset - its my baby in a bag! Why should the creating of a life be so mechanical? Then in the next breath I think well it is so buck up and get on with it and there are plenty of other people going through it.

I also feel as if the clinic treats you just as a number - they undertake so many treatments a week. I also feel silly asking questions too as I feel they are so busy. Do other people find this with their clinics?

Emotions are all over the place. I think the most frustrating emotion is other people not understanding what I'm going through - most think I just drive to the hospital and the doctors pop an embryo in me and then i will be pregnant!

So how do I find out who else is at the same stage as me?

Anyway finding this website has been very comforting. Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah!

I look forward to "talking" to you all.

[princess]

Welcome to you.
You will find this site is amazing with so many wonderful women to share things with.
You won't go through things alone here that's for sure. There are always buddy's to cycle with it seems.
I understand what you mean about the injections. It feels wrong like the only place to "make a baby" would be in the privacy of your own bedroom but unfortunatly we are not in that position so we go through all this hell in hopes of becoming moms.
All of us will at some point that I am sure of.
Love
Joy

[k]

Hi Jag

Welcome to the site. It is a wonderful support network. I didnt discover it until I was pregnant, but I still rely on it for support even now!
Its very frustrating that you had to do through trying for a year without them doing proper tests to make sure your DH was ok. Its a shame that some clinics dont check people out properly before putting them through fertility treatment. Anyway, you are on your way now!
I know exactly what you mean about the injections. Even though they didnt really hurt, I got to hate them in the end. I ended up with lots of little bruises all over my abdomen. I ended up getting DH to do them for me in my bottom(!) which was easier for me. I think because it took some of the responsibility away, if that sounds right!
The best place to post is on the general forum. The other sites arent as busy. Because you are going through treatment, you can join the August buddies and since im presuming 'NZ' is New Zealand, there is also an Aussie and kiwi's thread as well. Just jump in anywhere you feel comfortable!
Good luck with your treatment!
Love Kim

[DebraP]

Hi there, your story sounds sadly familiar, I know there are others on here who have waited after a DH-reversal only to find it was never going to happen. DH having kids from a previous relationship is not uncommon on here either, you'll find willing ears if you need to rant.

Have a look at the July and August buddies threads for people preparing for tmt on the same timescale as you. It's always lovely to have others who know EXACTLY what you're talking about. They'll be with you through the prep, tmt, the dreaded 2ww and hopefully the wild celebrations and onto the PG after tmt board......

I don't use Gonal so can't say much about the jabs as I use Puregon and they have an auto-injector aka. very, very easy. It's sad that your clinic send out 'too busy' signals. You can get a lot of info from the General Forum, esp. when you've hooked up with others on the same timescale as you.

Well done for finding us. I've a HUGE soft spot for NZ. Like nearly everyone who goes there, I had a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful (did I mention it was wonderful) visit. I spent 2m there in '99....sigh....plus managed to fall in love with 2 kiwis in my time, supposed to marry one...could have been a very different life from up here in Norway....

Again, welcome and I hope you find the support that helps make this process bearable.

hugs
Debra.

[Sand]

Hi Jag - Just a very brief post to Welcome you to the Site and say Hello. I hope you find support here ..

Sandra x

[jag]

Thank you to you all! I woke up this morning with such a different attitude to the whole process. I no longer feel isolated and feel quite calm about it all (well for the moment anyway!!!). Yippee I have people to share my thoughts with. Now I don't have to worry about trying to explain to friends in the know how I am feeling, when clearly they will never understand! Now I have friends who do know I will hop onto the august buddies - see you on the other threads!

Jag x

[debbieed]

Hello Jag,
I post on the August buddies thread so will probably talk to you on there - but welocme anyway. Most of us go up and down with how we feel - just natural when we're pumping hormones into ourselves I guess.
Fortunately this time round I don't feel too bad - just begining to get really tired and tummy is bruised and tender, but no real mood swings (yet!!!)
Have fun

Love
Debbie