The Over 40 Crowd

[Kat]

Hi Anna,
I suppose she thought she was being really nice but I would have been livid! I took all my time off as holidays, that way people didn't need to know anything. My company is owned by 2 women and I have told them from the beginning, they have both been brilliant and they have known where I have been but I haven't had to explain anything to my team or anyone else. They are used to my 'short notice' holidays. Different things obviously work for different people/jobs but just thought I'd tell you how I did it.

Jen - hope ET went fine and you are resting nicely

Julie - sending pma in the direction of Kiev

Amfy - not long now - how are you feeling?

Hi to everyone else

Haven't actually posted on the 'other side' yet, think I'll stay here for a bit if that's OK with you

Take care all
Kat xx

[lara]

Hi All,

Jen, hope ET went well, twins here we come!

Amfy, not long til Friday, fingers crossed.

Jules, all the best in Kiev, good luck.

Randa, cool link, yes, I'd heard it all before but it was particularly scientifically presented, which is helpful.

Anna, I would feel the same as you about the work thing. I'm very private about things and once people know you're off having something done they usually guess it's IVF because of age/childlessness/instinct. It's very thoughtless of the boss but she obviously meant to be really caring! Can you be frank with her, say thank you and how sweet of her blah blah, but you've got a couple of checkups (really EC and ET) coming up and you really really don't want everyone to know as it's rather embarrassing? Anyway don't worry about it too much because it'll interfere with your PMA. I don't think your friends will be offended you didn't tell them about IVF because I didn't even tell my family (my mum had been very ill, my sis probs with marriage, etc.) as I didn't want to have to keep reporting back to them when it didn't work etc etc when they had their own problems, but when I did actually tell them they were chilled about it.

Anyway, good luck with how you play it.

Take care all,

Lara

[AMck]

Hi ladies

Hope all is OK with you.

Kat it was great to see you post....yes please stay with us, you are my inspiration

Jen, hope you are OK and being pampered. Look after yourself, see you Thursday.

Amfy, how are you holding up? Not long now, fingers crossed.

Jooles hope all is Ok over in Kiev and not too cold

Kat and Lara thank you for your kind words regarding my boss. I know she meant to be kind. I suppose I am being over sensitive. Working in a school it is really difficult to nip off for appointments as everyone notices....even the children !

Off for my scan tomorrow to see if I have any follies ....so nervous...what if...????...oh my ...daren't even think about it!

Bye for now
PMA to all


Anna

[amfy]

Hi All!

I'm doing OK! On one hand I can't wait for Friday but on the other I am starting to dread it. I realised this when I thought about doing an early HPT and realised how scared I was of the result.

I am scarily close now. It's getting harder and harder not to be confident, and then i think I've got a long way to fall if it goes wrong for me.

I'm noticing every little symptom. My breasts are really swollen and sore, but they always have been like that pre-menstrually anyway. I keep thinking - are they more or less sore than yesterday? Sometimes i move without them hurting a bit, and then I panic and have to pinch them to make sure they're still tender!

Thank God this madness ends soon - and hopefully a new set of madness starts!!!

[randa2006]

CarolineP - baby due Nov 28
Kat - Fresh/donor cycle, +ve First scan 28th Nov
Nuala - fresh cycle, late Oct.
BigJ - TESE/donor egg cycle in Kiev, EC set for 23-24 Nov
Caroline - November FET postponed
Amfy - 2ww - test 25th November
Anna - stimming 16th Nov, 1st Scan 23rd Nov
JackieT - start downregging 2/11 for FET
Heather - FET November sometime
Randa - Natural BDing until Jan, then first full IVF cycle
Lara - chosen IVF+PGS
jen- 2 eggs fertilised, ET Monday 21st

Just bringing our list back up. Hope everyone is doing well. Best of luck to BigJ with EC and Anna's follie scan, both getting close.

Jen, congratulations on your ET! When is your test date? We should add it to the list.

Amfy - you sound pregnant to me! Everything crossed for a +ve for Friday!

[Kat]

Keeping everything crossed for you Amfy - I was so convinced af was coming, dull cramps, that dragging feeling in my belly, I even had a small bit of brown mucus like the start of af on the morning of the day I tested and thought that it was all over.
During the course of that day I kept telling myself I was pg and got quite excited about doing the test. Funny what your mind does to you in these situations.
I really hope it works out for you.
Lots of love,
Kat xx

PS JackieT where are you? Hope everything is OK?

[AMck]

Hi Girls how are you all today?

I went for my follie scan today after 8 days of stimming. The disappointing news is that my follies haven't grown at all I really couldn't believe what the nurse was saying.

Nothing in this IVF has gone right. I have NEVER gone for an appointment and got good news I was so excited this morning...wishing and hoping...now all shattered again

All my PMA has disappeared. Treatment has been delayed again and we may have to abandon yet another cylce as the effects of jab for down reg will wear off soon.
Has anyone any experience of this? I would love some advice.

Thanks (from a disappointed)

Anna x

[lara]

Hi Anna,

I'm very sorry to hear your disappointment today with your scan and lack of follicle growth. I've not had the experience of no growth at all - usually I do get reasonable growth for my age (43) it's just the quality of the oocytes isn't good (also because of my age).

I see you live in Surrey. I don't know how old you are, and I don't know where you're going for your treatment - you may be attending one of the best clinics in London, I expect you are. It's just worth me mentioning that I'm at the Lister, which is one of the very best in the country, and I was just wondering whether it's worth questioning which drugs you're on, your protocol, etc. I'm on an antagonist cycle, Gonal F and Cetrotide, with no down-regging and no sniffing. This may be no use at all - I expect you've been through the process of making sure you're at the best place for you and on the best drugs for you as well.

I went for my first appointment of my new cycle this morning, and I could see the nurse looking at me and thinking I was far too drained and exhausted to be starting a new IVF cycle, after everything my body's been through in the last year I am completely shattered! But if I have another month's rest, it'll be 2 months because of Christmas, and then I'll be 44. I am so flattened by all the hormones, general anaesthetics, pregnancies and miscarriages that I could just collapse in a heap for about a year! Oh well, on we go!

Anna, I hope you can figure out a way forward for your treatment, whether it's reconsidering your clinic/protocol, or having a bit of rest - have you tried something like Foresight, which diagnoses vit/min deficiences?

Anyway, sending you lots of positive energy, don't give up, hang on in there with everything you've got!

Lara xxx

[AMck]

Thanks Lara

just a bad day. I have just turned 42. Do you think my age is a major factor in the fact that they haven't grown?

I am at Queen Marys in Roehampton and nurses have been great. No mention of changing drugs or protocol though.

Anna

[randa2006]

Anna,
I'm so sorry to hear about your scan. You are clearly fed up and I don't blame you.
How certain are you that your clinic isn't doing a one-size-fits-all protocol? How successful have they been with women in their 40s? Do you feel they are taking your unique situation into consideration as they evaluate and prescribe? If you aren't being a squeeky wheel (meaning making noise so they pay special attention to you and HEAR your concerns) then you should be.
These clinics we all go to see so many patients a day that sometimes they get robotic and as patients it's our job to snap them awake.
My clinic made it clear that they LIKE working with older women's cases and feel experienced and challenged by our unique needs. From the start I have felt like I am in the best possible place to overcome my age issues.
If you don't feel that way about your clinic, you should push, push, push to find out what clinic in your area is the best for us older patients.
With that said, you sound in dire need of a break from all of this. I know you are worried about getting another year older, but maybe that is the lesser of two evils right now (the greater evil being going forward before your body is at it's most healthy state).

My heart aches for you. All this IVF stuff can drive a girl right off the edge. Please remember, YOU are someone's child still and YOU are a life that is precious and has the right to enjoy the world you are in NOW. You owe it to yourself and the Mother who brought you into the world to enjoy your life. In other words, be careful not to trade one precious life that is clearly already here for one that may or may not ever be.

I'm sorry if that's too personal. But this thought has helped to keep me grounded in really tough times when I was not putting myself high enough on my priority list. My Mom told it to me.

All My Best,
Randa

[CarolineP]

Anna

I am so sorry that your news was not more positive, however everyone responds differently and it may take a while to get it right for you.

I changed protocol after 1st treatment due to slow follicle response, but drugs never changed (I was on max doseage from the start). It still took 3 additional attempts and loads of luck and PMA for me to get a +ive result.

Our Consultant was brutally honest with our chances when we began our treatment and on reflection I think that managed our expectations from the start.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees and you just have to rely on the support of others and these boards to get you through these dark times.

My thoughts and prays are with you.

CarolineP

[Kat]

Hi Anna, I was sorry to see your news, you must be so disappointed but they really could grow in the next few days so don't lose heart yet. On the occasions I reached ET I only had 2 or 3 follies of the right size. Keeping everything crossed for you.
How many cycles have you had?
I know everyone's different but I had cycle 1 & 3 cancelled due to poor response, no. 6 with no eggs found at EC (and no. 2 cancelled due to DH accident). Which is why we were advised to go with donor eggs.
Queen Mary's changed my protocol a few times but once I had reached ET they didn't change it as it was max dose of everything and it seemed to be the best they found.

Not sure if that helped at all, sorry.

Take care
Lots of love
Kat xx

[dancola]

Sorry to hear your news on follie growth. I don’t think you should necessarily attribute this to your age though. Every woman reacts differently and there are some relatively young women in their 20s and 30s who have similar problems. I’m ‘lucky’ in that I react very well to stimulation (I’m 40 now but was 39 during the 3 cycles of ICSI I’ve done). Last cycle in August produced 25 eggs from 26 follies. My clinic actually has better results with the over 40s than the ‘famous’ ARGC in London! (I’m at Holly House in Essex). I always follow same routine: down-regging with Suprecur (Buserelin) followed by stimming with Gonal F (average dose of 225 but they always reduce this towards the end).

Have you tried acupuncture? I did it for my last cycle and the increase in egg quantity and quality was marked (I usually get around 12 eggs) and this time we managed to get some frozen blastos – don’t know what else to attribute the difference to. Apologies if you’ve tried it, but I found it really helped. Sadly still didn’t get me the BFP though!

You’ve still time though to develop some follies – fingers are crossed for you.

Nicola

[lara]

Hi there Anna,

In reply to your questions about whether it's your age that's slowing down the follicle growth and whether you should be looking around at other clinics or asking your clinic about a different protocol, the only thing I would say is that as some others have mentioned, if you don't do a bit of your own research you won't know. A clinic isn't going to tell you that there's another clinic down the road that's better for your specific problem, just like some people found that no clinic in the UK volunteered the information that there's no wait for donor eggs in some countries abroad (as Jules discovered for herself). I would suggest you get on the internet and do a bit of your own research, just for your own satisfaction. I did this, and discovered that the Bridge Clinic at London Bridge prides itself on its statistics with older women; Professor Craft of the London Fertility Clinic (Harley St) also is a huge advocate for older women (but takes a long time to get an appointment), and the clinic where I go (Lister, in Chelsea) offers PGS which can be helpful for older women, although wouldn't help you with your particular problem at this stage. It may well be that Queen Mary's is the best place for you, but you should maybe ask them about your drugs protocol, the amounts, etc. If your clinic aren't coming up with any ideas about how better to get your follicles to grow, as Randa says you might need to push them a bit and ask them what they suggest you try next, rather than trying the same thing every time. It sounds as if you like them there so you probably don't feel like moving clinics unless it's really going to make a big difference.
Also, there's still time for them to grow - I'm keeping everything crossed for you.
Big hug,
Lara

[SQUEW]

Hi

I hardly ever get on the boards at the mo as I have my hands full with Evie and Alex...but I just wanted to say congratulations to you Kat! We have cycled togther a few times and I am so pleased for you! Will be keeping my eyes open for the results of your scan..maybe you too will be a 40yr old with twins?!
I still have to pinch myself when I see my two, after all the failed attempts I had.
Miracles can happen and I send you all a large sprinkling of baby dust!

Love from a very tired but very happy Sue xxxxx