**October FET**

[kynlee]

Karen- Thats good news that your back to zero, what are you guys goig to do??? you goingto start rigt back up or wait til after the holidays??? Im patiently waiting for Jan to come

[jbird30]

I miscarried last night, at 7 weeks. It was the first time that has ever happened, and it was god awful.

Looks like we all have Aunt Flo visiting at around the same time.

What a rollercoaster for us all...

[karenvancouverisland]

jbird, i'm so sorry. i don't know what else to say but that. it's just an awful thing to go through.

i'm very depressed these days myself. well- i feel that way when i'm not with my son.. once he goes to bed, i feel depressed about not having a bigger family yet, and depressed to wait fo my next cycle (which will be 3+ months as i'm doing DHEA first), and SOO depressed that 2 of my friends are pregnant. that sucks.

i used to think that 1 miracle would be plenty for me, but now i desperately crave the joy of having another baby. gawd, maternal instincts are brutal!

[kynlee]

jbird- So sorry I cant imagine what you are feeling, but i am here for you... I dont know why these things have to happen... Life is just not fair...

Karen- I need to look more into DHeA everyone keeps talking about it...sorry your so sad, it will happen for you... We have a new year with new promises...

So sorry we have all been on this horrible rollercoaster, I am saying lots of prayers for all of us... We are all deserving of our own families... ( huge hugs to both of you)

[jbird30]

Yeah, it totally sucks. What is really eating at me is the fact that we were there that morning because I had been bleeding again, and they did a sono, and everything looked fine - there was even a heartbeat. Six hours later, I miscarried. Since it seems that it wasn't because of the embryo, I'm afraid that my body just rejected being pregnant, which is a bigger issue... sigh. I'm so sick of being depressed over this, and now I'm petrified that if we conquer another IVF round, I will miscarry again.

On another note, I'm happy to hear that you both have plans to continue on. Karen, I totally understand you wanting to expand your family, and you are just as deserving of your second (or third, fourth, fifth) as any of us our first. What makes this so hard for all of us is that this is a decision that we should have so much more control of, and unlike others around us, we have none.

I do hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

[kynlee]

Jbird- So Sorry you had to go through that... I know its hard to think of trying again cause this is such a rollercoaster, but we are all here for you.... are you going to go se Your Dr so they can tell you what they think happened? The emotions on this journey are so tough... ( hugs )

[karenvancouverisland]

jbird.... obviously i'm not an expert, but i really think your body did NOT reject being pg. most m/c's go like this- they develop fine/ perfectly, then -boom- they hit the developmental milestone that they are destined to die at, and then they die. just like that.

i had an u/s at 6.5 weeks the first time i was pg. it measured perfectly. had a h/b. 2 weeks later- it died. then it stayed in me til week 12, so i didn't even know til then. and i've since had a child.

if your body was going to reject a pregnancy, it's more than likely that your pre-IVF tests would have shown that, and the RE's would have told you.

this is so hard, i'm so so sorry for your loss.

and kynlee- how are you these days? i remember that m/c i had oh too well.. i either sat like a zombie staring off into space (really freaked out my DH once, sitting on the bathroom floor doing that.).. or i just cried uncontrollably. seriously- the only thing that got me through it was knowing that i had gotten PG once, so maybe i could do it again.. we were given such a poor prognosis for having our own children, that although my pregnancy resulted in m/c, it also brought so much hope that it COULD happen for us. that hope, and this forum, were what got me through. it wasn't friends or family, cause all i did was avoid them cause they didn't get it.

and yes, i'm looking forward to a new year with new promises... and in the mean time, i seriously need to work on my patience.. it is lacking ! super, big, warm, loving hugs to you ladies

[kynlee]

Karen- LOL believe me I need to work on my patience too... As much as I seem ok, I cant wait till end of Jan My sister that is getting married is already talking about having a baby and getting pregnant on her honeymoon... It so makes me mad cause she knows I am struggling and then she is bragging to everyone in front of me saying how she is going to be pregnant next year.... I wish I didnt feel jealous but I guess part of me knows she will be before me and I know she will have a easy pregnancy, and I am not saying it in a mean way believe me I would be so happy for her just hurt that it couldnt be me too... So I am praying I am right there beside her with a big belly

[jbird30]

Hi Ladies, I know it's a tad belated but I just wanted to wish you all a happy holiday! Wanted to check in as well - hope you are all hanging in!

Lots of hugs!

[kynlee]

Jbird- How are you???? Are you starting back up soon??? I start Jan/Feb depending on A/F... I jumped on a winter board for my upcoming cycle Hope you had a great Christmas..

[jbird30]

Hey Kynlee! Glad to hear you're trying again! I'm okay, made it through the holidays - phew! We're taking a break, probably until the spring. If we're going to be in this for the long haul, I think it's important for us to take breaks and do some fun stuff in between. We just booked a vacation for the end of January, so I'm excited for that.

Good Luck! I'll check in on you on the boards!

[kynlee]

jbird- I took a small break too decided to wait till after the Holidays so I think I should be starting By Feb hoping for Et by March IF this cycle doesnt work Ill take a couple months off again... Have fun on your vacation Keep in touch so I know when you start