Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Sunshine1576]

WEHAveHope,
It sounds like you have beautiful embryos growing, and everything is going to fall right in place. I'm very excited for you're upcoming ET and very soon you will be PUPO! About the progesterone, I used the suppositories for my last IUI, and found them to be a little messy but would let them absorb for at least 30 minutes before getting up to get the maxinum dosage. I don't know what is really better, I think it's more important that you are being monitored regularly so they are aware of everything going on. I will be following you this cycle and cannot wait to join you with a nice BFP!

[WeHaveHope]

Sunshine-thanks for the support. I really don't mind the mess with the vaginal progesterone but worry that it can not be monitored like the PIO because it is absorbed directly into the endometrium. Since it is not absorbed into the bloodstream there is no way to realy know what the true progesterone level is. Although there is no eayto really know why I had a MC I guess I would just like to rule that one out by doing the PIO and knowing that o have s good healthy progesterone level. But I have to tell you that I have heard that the PIO is absolute torture because it is a daily intramuscular injection. And of course I am wondering if this realy makes any difference since my RE believes that they both work the same.

[Sunshine1576]

WeHaveHope,
I wish I could help you w/the success rate, and I know your RE thinks they work the same. Maybe ask the girls on the pregnancy board for their opinion but keep everything in perspective. I asked earlier about Neevo, a prescription prenatal and I am now wondering if this could make such a difference, but when I researched it tonight I found it only has 1/10 of some of the prenatals I was taking before. I trust my RE and this is something I did call them myself to ask specifically about a recommendation but I don't want to spend so much for something that's mainly designed for folic acid intake...Maybe I'm getting way to obsessed, idk but sometimes i can feel what I have is not quite good enough.

[WeHaveHope]

Sunshine-I share your frustration. I also feel like I need to do more than I am already doing and realize that alot of it is completely out of my control. That is my biggest problem in that I want to be in the drivers seat and with IVF I feel like I am always in the passenger seat. So far the driver hasn't gotten me where I want to go bit I have to trust in something bigger than allege science. That is what keeps me going. I think I am also obsessing a bit to much. I always do that, urg... I wish I could help you with the prenatal. Honestly, these are the only things that make me quite sick. I didn't take prenatal with my son and everything was just fine. But that was a very long time ago and I realize that. I did not take them with this last FET because I get very nauseous but will have to deal with it this time. I definantely will be taking prenatal. I don't want to leave anything out this time even if I'm vomiting my brains out everyday.

[Sunshine1576]

WeHAveHope,
Now that was pretty graphic, lol I completely had forgotten how some prenatals can make us feel sick. I used to take "One-A-Day" and I quickly threw them out b/c it made me feel nausated all day! So for the last two years I have been taking PreNatal "TwinLab" vits delivering 22 nutrients for optimal health. I found them at The Vitamin Shoppe, it's a 2 month supply for $29.99 and they are very easy to swallow. Maybe I should focus more on eatting healthier more fruits and veggies then finding a different vitamin. My lifestyle is so busy at times, it's hard to eat right everyday...I'll sleep on it tonight and then make a trip to CVS tomorrow to find out more about the prescription one. Thank you for always listening.

[WeHaveHope]

Sunshine-no thank you for always listening to me. Even during my very graphic rants. Today I was feeling so down. I was thinking that I realy don't have anyone to talk to about what I am going through and how I am feeling. I know I have DH and he always makes the time to listen to me but his perspective is different sometimes. He always tells me that he has the best of both worlds because as much as he would absolutely love to have a baby together he feels tha if we don't it would not change anything. In fact it would just give us more time to ourselves. And I understand that analogy and agree completely. We are truly each others best friend and enjoy and cherish our time together so much. Anytime we spend together is always to special. But I want to have a baby with him so much that this ticking clock inside sometimes blurs that fact. It's difficult because I know that if we never have a baby together we will be just fine. We will finish raising our children his and mine and then spend the rest of our lives together. But, well there is always a but isn't there. And well today I was just thinking, I don't realy have anybody to talk to about those feeling of "but". I mean I have all you guys that I type back and forth with and I truly feel I could never do this without you guys. But, I just wish sometimes I had a person I could truly just pick up the phone and call and share my feelings with. My family doesn't know, my friends don't know. I have one very close friend that does know but over the years she and I have kind of grown apart. In as much as I would like to think that our friendship is the same it truly is not. It's a shame but it is reality. And so lately she has been so busy. We haven't spoken in weeks and with the MC and all the feeling that have come along with that I realy needed that friend to talk to and I just haven't had that. It makes me want to cry at times but Iknow it's the way our lives have turned out. Hers unfortunately has been much more difficult in many ways. So in as much as she would like to be there for me she just can't. Today I was thinking of all of that and I am truly greatful for you today. For taking time to type back and forth with me. As much as we don't know each other at all only that we are both struggling with this awful thing that has been placed in our paths I am so greatful for you being there for me today when I needed a little friendship of a different kind. Thank you and sorry for sounding so mushy today.

[WeHaveHope]

Dear friends,
I read this today and found it to be so beautiful and profound. This is my wish for all of you everyday;

"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life". Author Unknown

[Sunshine1576]

WeHaveHope,
No you don't sound mushy at all, I'm over here bailing my eyes out because of what you wrote was so real and reminded me how much we need to depend on friends from this forum to keep us going. I know we barely know each other, but I'm here for the long run and I know how challenging this can be at times. Your husband sounds alot like mine, he's so loving and understanding and brings much happiness but he knows there is a hole in my heart from our last miscarriage but we have really tried to fall pregnant again and it's been an emotional toll b/c nothing is happening in the "passenger seat", and I feel we are doing everything we possibly can to stay proactive.

Deep down, I have so much faith and strongly believe that IF we put everything we have into this and as long as we don't give up, it's certainly will happen! It will be absolutely surreal and I will be crying on that day too with all of you! From this moment on we have to keep looking ahead...There are so many stars out tonight and I know one is shining brightly- with that promise of what tomorrow will bring us! xoxoxo

[leorira11]

I'm still here, just nothing new to report!

Counting down the days until my RE appt. I'm hoping sooooo much that he is okay with us trying again so soon after the C-section. I keep being told that since I'm young, I should wait longer. If I was older, there would be more urgency to try again as soon as possible, but since I'm so young - I would better off waiting longer because of the C-section. I'm really hoping my RE is okay with us trying again so soon because of the circumstances. If our boys had lived, we would never be considering trying again so soon - but sadly, they died and I'm desperate for the baby I can bring home with me.

Feels like every single part of this is waiting.... waiting for RE appt... waiting for AF... waiting for transfer.... waiting for beta -- if BFP - waiting for u/s and waiting for baby, if BFN - waiting for AF and waiting for follow-up appt and waiting to start again.... when does the freaking waiting ever stop?

[leorira11]

Maria - I just wanted to say that NONE of my friends can understand what I'm going through. I even have one friend who is undergoing fertility treatments (taking Clomid). She just finished her 3rd month on Clomid and got a BFP but it was a chemical pregnancy. Even so, she can't even begin to understand what this is like for me. One of my closest friends is having an 'oops' baby any day now. Another friend just had her 4th child in 5 years (and she is 36yo).

There is this girl (well... she's a woman. A year older than me, but I can only think of her as a 'girl') who has kinda 'adopted' my in laws as her surrogate parents. Her own parents live in the USA. My in-laws were friends of her parents, so when she moved here a few years ago, she spent a lot of time with my ILs who helped her out a lot. She sees them more often than we do (we all live within 15 min drive of each other). She got married a few years ago and now has a 6 month old son. I happen to know that she got pregnant the first month they 'tried'. What's particularly hard is that we got pregnant the same time last year, but I miscarried at 10 weeks and she went on to have a baby boy. She calls my ILs her son's "grandparents" and my ILs call him their "grandson". This hurts me soooo much. My MIL has been babysitting her son since their nanny is on vacation. I went over today while he was there to pick something up from my MIL. Watching her, and how happy she was playing with the baby was soooo hard. *I* should be able to have the grandkids she wants. (Neither my ILs nor my parents have other grandchildren.... just ours who are all dead.) Even though I strongly dislike this girl, I was holding her son and was soooo jealous of her. She doesn't even understand how lucky she is to have him. I would really do ANYTHING to have a child but can't. It hurts so much....

There's my vent for the day... that's what we are here for. I've been on these boards a long time (longer than anyone would ever want to be...) and the women I've met here are the best friends I've ever had, even though we've never met in person. They understand me on a level that most people can't even believe exists. No one except you guys and my husband can even start to comprehend the desperation and monumental ache I feel about having a child and whether that will ever happen for us.

I love you guys. Thank you.

[Sunshine1576]

Leorira, It must be hard to see your in-laws with the baby. My mom talks about my brother's babies to me all the time and it drives me so crazy, I have to change the topic. Can she have any consideration even after knowing we miscarrIed, so she must know we are trying. This is why I don't call her very often, don't get me wrong I love my mother but sometimes she can be inconsiderate of my feelings. I don't think she knows how to relate to what I'm going through. She tells me my brother wants to come down to visit me during Thanksgiving so he can support his buddies in the IronMan race, but I'm wondering if the whole family will come, it might be overwhelming if he brings everyone with him. My husband tells me he doesn't care if we come home during the holidays or not, because it's gotten to be a big competition around our family and he feels we have nothing to offer. To me that really breaks my heart, but what can I do? We only have TWO choices...We can either get mad and upset or stand strong and fight this battle! Deep down, we must know it's going to happen again AND this time we WILL be making our family complete. I think for me it's finding the patience and knowing it's going to take time with alot more fertility support. But much love and support is what this forum has brought us, and truly it's friends like you guys who make this journey where I can breathe and know we are never alone.
xoxoxo Sunshine1576

[WeHaveHope]

UPDATED 08-25-11 @ 8:39pm EST. Please let me know if I have missed anyone or if I'm missing any updates. Sending you lots of xoxoxo.









Fvrogers-FET 10/2011


Becca-Fall/2011
Tamera-11/2011
Leorira-Fall/2011
Kiminsh-Fall/2011
Fruit-Fall/2011
Alwaysangel-Fall/2011
Sunshine1576-Fall/2011
Cheri76-Fall/2011


Akdelp-Waiting for AF for Fall IVF


Blueeyedreamer-on BCP for cycle 10/2011
Kerpupples-on BCP for cycle Fall/2011
Toniaa-on BCP for cycle in Fall/2011
WeHaveHope-on BCP for FET 10/2011 waiting for Hcg to drop to zero



K8ielovett-Started on Lupron on 8-24-11

[WeHaveHope]

Hi ladies,

I am having trouble with my computer so I am updating the board and posting via my iPhone so I am sorry for not posting personals. I will post personals as soon as my computer is fixed. I want to let each and everyone one of you know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

AFM-going in for what I hope to be my last Beta. I am hoping to be able to put this chapter behind me and move forward with out next FET. I discussed with my husband tonight the possibility of doing PIO with this FET. He is a nurse and of course my dear best friend so I trust him completely with giving me these injections but I am still very nervous. In any case I will speak to my RE tomorrow about ordering Lidocaine Cream to apply on my tush in order to reduce the pain caused by the injection. If he agrees then I think this is what we will do. Like my hubby said " it's your butt". Yes, it sure is and I woul like to still be able to somewhat sit on it

[Tamera]

leorira11 I completely feel for you, it must be hard watching them when you want so badly to give them a grand baby. I hope your doctor gives you a big thumbs up to continue with this journey. Too often we see people who have children who do not deserve them. I have a brother who's wife is pregnant with there second child (5 months), the have a 3 year old daughter, but my brother also has 3 other boys from 3 other women, two of whom he was married to. So basically 4 kids from 4 different women, this will be his 5th, but surprising with the same woman, lol. Sad part about it is he can't really afford to have them all, my mom says he is always broke because all his money goes to child support (serves him right). Sad part is 3 boys don't have a dad full time in there lives right now.

A couple years ago I told him that me and my husband wanted to adopt a little boy (since we have 3 girls), his comment was "whats the matter Dan (DH) can't make boys", I was fairly pissed by his comment and wanted to fire back with something like "well at least Dan is there for all of his children", but realized my brother is not the sharpest tool in the shed and just let it go. Now that we are perusing our dreams of having a son, I can't wait to stick it to my brother when I get my BFP and knowing it will be a boy. The only one in my family or DH family that knows is my mom, she can keep a secret. Plus I think his mom would be judgmental because of my age, but after being married almost 25 years we both feel like this will complete our family.

"We' I hope your beta comes back 0, so you can jump right back on the band wagon. You are very lucky to have a nurse in the family to assist you with this. My husband hates needles so I think I'm best to give them to myself, all I have to do is focus on why I'm doing this.

I hope everyone has a fun weekend, I actually got 3 days off from work so I have a 3 day weekend. I went to bed at 8pm last night and slept straight until 6am this morning. Normally I get up at 3:50am to go to work at 5am, so sleeping in until 6 is great, just couldn't sleep anymore.

[WeHaveHope]

Had my b/w done this morning for what will hopefully be my last Beta. Now to wait for my my RE to call me this afternoon. Praying for a BIG FAT ZERO today 