Anxious... I am so sorry for your results. I am glad that you have your future cycle planned out. I will be doing the same if my results come back BFN as well. I need a break from these meds, from the stress and I need to focus on my DD and DH as well. It is hard going thru a BFN after a cycle, but I really hope that u find the strength within yourself to carry on and try again later, eventually your time will come. Good Luck to you hun.
aspotoftea... Thanks for the encouragement. Also, Congrats on tranfer. As for the 2 blast,. I always figure if they made it to blast, period, they were great embies, it's the ones that don't make it, that we should be concerned about. So having 2 blast and one at cell stage is a great chance for you. Keep calling and calliung the REs office till u get your answer. I hate when that happens. Sending lots of sticky dust your way hun. Good Luck.
JAN/FEB/MAR 2009 Ladies!!! :arrow:
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aspotofTea
- Member
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:14 pm
- Location: California
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CAFirstInvitro
- Member
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:17 am
Lady J: don't give up hang in there. We are haveing the same symptoms so you can't have a BFN. I know how you feel. I'm so scared to take an HPT again. I took one really early on like 2 days passed transfer. So I wasn't so bummed when it came back negative. Remember someone was on here that had taken HPT's and showed up negative and then went to BETA and was prego. We gotta have that faith. I had a dream last night that I was holding 2 girls and I was rescuing them. We gotta stay focused and stay positive. I was like freaking out on Friday night i think it was, but now I'm ok. I'm have AF cramps this whole time, nonstop. I've been hopeing it was a good sing then I read last night on this SIRM site where someone was asking about the cramp and the doc replied. "Some 'cramps' are muscle contractions that actually move from the cervix to the top of the uterus assisting your body at keeping the embryos in their ideal location wihtin your womb." Now doesn't that make you feel better. I typed it exactly how he did. I was so excited I was finally able to go to sleep 
Oh and I just remembere the doc said HPT's are to test after a missed period thats when most are designed and some are for early tests, but it is hard to get an accurate result. Just wait till your BETA I'm praying you will be happily suprised
dys 24: I took the BCP at 10pm so it was easier for me to remember every night and be available. I am not a morning person. I did the Lupron at 8am even though I'm not a morning person because the doc said that for me to do Lupron in the AM because follistim is in the PM. Well good luck and I hope that helps.
Anxious: I am so sorry to hear your results I'll pray for you and your DH
Oh and I just remembere the doc said HPT's are to test after a missed period thats when most are designed and some are for early tests, but it is hard to get an accurate result. Just wait till your BETA I'm praying you will be happily suprised dys 24: I took the BCP at 10pm so it was easier for me to remember every night and be available. I am not a morning person. I did the Lupron at 8am even though I'm not a morning person because the doc said that for me to do Lupron in the AM because follistim is in the PM. Well good luck and I hope that helps.
Anxious: I am so sorry to hear your results
I'll pray for you and your DH I'm 26 -DH 27
We just found out we have an egg quality issue
Low count, motility
4 insem
Our First IVF with ICSI
FEB/MARCH- BFN :(
Forgive me I don't know all the lingo on here yet :)
We just found out we have an egg quality issue
Low count, motility
4 insem
Our First IVF with ICSI
FEB/MARCH- BFN :(
Forgive me I don't know all the lingo on here yet :)
Chris~I am thrilled to hear about all your new folies! Congrats! Sounds like you are going to have tons to work with this time around and that is super news! Maybe drink another beer tonight?!
Lady-J~Please do not despair. I have read about so many ladies on these boards who get the BFN on HPT and then go on to get BFP at Beta. One woman drank an entire bottle of wine thinking she was not pregnant and felt guilty for weeks when she found out she really was! Keep the faith.
Anxious~I know that devastating feeling and my heart goes out to you. Take time to grieve and heal and be with your DH. You sound like a strong person who will try IVF again--sometimes it takes a couple of rounds to get there. Big hug for you.
aspotof tea~congrats on transfer. I think that just because those two made it to blast proves they are strong embies.
HopinginVA~congrats on that thrid strong beta! I have mine on Friday and then I will be waiting for that Ultrasound too. It was silly to think that I'd be stress-free after getting the BFP. I feel so worried about each new hurdle! I'm especially scared about the ultrasound.
Wondercat~congrats on your BFP!!!
Lady-J~Please do not despair. I have read about so many ladies on these boards who get the BFN on HPT and then go on to get BFP at Beta. One woman drank an entire bottle of wine thinking she was not pregnant and felt guilty for weeks when she found out she really was! Keep the faith.
Anxious~I know that devastating feeling and my heart goes out to you. Take time to grieve and heal and be with your DH. You sound like a strong person who will try IVF again--sometimes it takes a couple of rounds to get there. Big hug for you.
aspotof tea~congrats on transfer. I think that just because those two made it to blast proves they are strong embies.
HopinginVA~congrats on that thrid strong beta! I have mine on Friday and then I will be waiting for that Ultrasound too. It was silly to think that I'd be stress-free after getting the BFP. I feel so worried about each new hurdle! I'm especially scared about the ultrasound.
Wondercat~congrats on your BFP!!!
43 high FSH 13.4
IVF1 May 08 BFN
IVF2 Sep 08 BFN
IVF3 Feb 09 BFP! beta 151
DD born Nov 09!
IVF4 June 11 BFN
IVF5 Oct 11 canceled 1 follie
IVF6 Jan 12 BFP! beta 171
MC 10.5 weeks after HB at 7.5 - gutted
Natural BFP!
MC 9.5 weeks - gutted again
IVF1 May 08 BFN
IVF2 Sep 08 BFN
IVF3 Feb 09 BFP! beta 151
DD born Nov 09!
IVF4 June 11 BFN
IVF5 Oct 11 canceled 1 follie
IVF6 Jan 12 BFP! beta 171
MC 10.5 weeks after HB at 7.5 - gutted
Natural BFP!
MC 9.5 weeks - gutted again
CAFirstInvitro - I was glad to read your info about cramping. I have been having so much cramping with this BFP that I keep questioning if everything is OK even though no spotting or anything. "Anxious" would probably be a suitable screenname for most of us...
aspotofTea - I think I was too flabbergasted to be amused. The fact that I already had my positive HPT results had me in such a generally benign and munificent mood I was able to forgive her - without her even realizing she needed forgiving, the poor dear! Thank heavens I had that, because I think that if I didn't know at all or had a negative HPT I may have done her bodily harm.
Anxious - I, and many of us, know how you feel. It's like you lost your baby, but you're not "allowed" to mourn for the loss in the same way as, say, a miscarriage because a "failed IVF attempt" is something that so many people out there just don't get. "No big deal," they'll think or (worse) say, "when are you trying again?" If you're still reading these posts, know that the pain and disappointment get better and you will be ready to try again.
aspotofTea - I think I was too flabbergasted to be amused. The fact that I already had my positive HPT results had me in such a generally benign and munificent mood I was able to forgive her - without her even realizing she needed forgiving, the poor dear! Thank heavens I had that, because I think that if I didn't know at all or had a negative HPT I may have done her bodily harm.
Anxious - I, and many of us, know how you feel. It's like you lost your baby, but you're not "allowed" to mourn for the loss in the same way as, say, a miscarriage because a "failed IVF attempt" is something that so many people out there just don't get. "No big deal," they'll think or (worse) say, "when are you trying again?" If you're still reading these posts, know that the pain and disappointment get better and you will be ready to try again.
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nursegator
- Member
- Posts: 60
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:21 pm
BFP!!!!!!!!!!! It's official-- beta was 237. I go back in Wednesday for another beta. DH and I are on cloud 9!!!!!!
CA and Lady J: GL to both of you to get your BFPs!!
Lady J: I just don't believe your HPT result. Try to stay as positive as you can-- it's probably just too early and every person is different. I'm praying for you!!! Truck loads of PMA coming your way!
Wondercat: I was lol at your last post! Geez, what a hassle. The lab girl obviously had no idea what IVF entails-- just another clueless fertile person!
Anxious: I'm so sorry about your BFN
. I hope you will get your BFP with your next cycle.
aspotoftea: I hope you will get information soon about how your other embryos are doing. This whole process is so hard, and there is so much waitng around and frustration. Try to stay positive for the 3 fighters you transferred on Saturday. They MUST be little fighters to have made it the whole 5 days, regardless of the quality! PMA coming your way!
Hopeful_VA: Yahoo for rising betas!
tabatha1975: time to break out the brand new white panties!! Maybe even wear white pants for good measure and AF will come for sure!
Chris: i love that your follies responded to the beer. Perhaps you'll produce some laid back embryos that way
Question for all of you pregger ladies: My belly is hard as a rock, swollen like I'm 4 months pregnant. Bought elastic waist pants yesterday and a new larger bra, since my stuff doesn't fit. It feels like I'm constipated, but I'm not. I haven't gained any weight. Any of you having this issue?
CA and Lady J: GL to both of you to get your BFPs!!
Lady J: I just don't believe your HPT result. Try to stay as positive as you can-- it's probably just too early and every person is different. I'm praying for you!!! Truck loads of PMA coming your way!
Wondercat: I was lol at your last post! Geez, what a hassle. The lab girl obviously had no idea what IVF entails-- just another clueless fertile person!
Anxious: I'm so sorry about your BFN
. I hope you will get your BFP with your next cycle.aspotoftea: I hope you will get information soon about how your other embryos are doing. This whole process is so hard, and there is so much waitng around and frustration. Try to stay positive for the 3 fighters you transferred on Saturday. They MUST be little fighters to have made it the whole 5 days, regardless of the quality! PMA coming your way!
Hopeful_VA: Yahoo for rising betas!
tabatha1975: time to break out the brand new white panties!! Maybe even wear white pants for good measure and AF will come for sure!
Chris: i love that your follies responded to the beer. Perhaps you'll produce some laid back embryos that way
Question for all of you pregger ladies: My belly is hard as a rock, swollen like I'm 4 months pregnant. Bought elastic waist pants yesterday and a new larger bra, since my stuff doesn't fit. It feels like I'm constipated, but I'm not. I haven't gained any weight. Any of you having this issue?
Nursegator, congrats again! That is wonderful news!
Anxious, I am so sorry. It's always better when you are a little prepared for it, but a BFN is still hard to take.
Lady_J, I have to agree with everyone else...please don't lose hope! You are one of the people I have a very good feeling about. Praying for your BFP.
ASM - had my 5dt today and less just say it was less than stellar. Out of my 12 embies NONE made it to blast! I put back two, both are a day behind (one a morula, one compacted). Strangely enough, the compacted one is my better one. Apparently I INITITALLY had 12 fertilize...then a 13th one decided to fertilize the following day. So weird. Anyway, that one is the compacted one, so in actuality, it is growing right on target. So it was almost like doing a 4dt.
Anyway, I am bummed. The RE was very sweet, but I could tell she wasn't overly convinced this would work for me. She offered me the option of putting in three, but the third would have been even worse quality so why risk it? She was so relieved when I said just two (apparently she was scared I WOULD go for three). I know many would put in three, and that's totally fine, but I just didn't feel comfortable with it, especially since we already have two little ones at home.
At any rate, I'm not devastated at all. I don't really think this will work, but it will be a nice surprise if it does! If anything, it will give us good closure. DH and I decided this would be our last try and talking to the RE today really confirmed it. She's not my primary RE, but she did my ET last time and remembered me since i was her only parient to NOT get pregnant.She has no idea why, after two cycles, I have a really great response, great fertilization rates, and yet poor embryo quality. Since it's happened twice in a row, it's a good indicator not to do it again, but again, that's ok. God has a plan and we've already been blessed with two wonderful kids. Hopefully we'll be able to adopt more in the future.
So my fingers are crossed for a miracle, but at least I won't be devastated with a BFN if that's what's meant to be.
Anxious, I am so sorry. It's always better when you are a little prepared for it, but a BFN is still hard to take.
Lady_J, I have to agree with everyone else...please don't lose hope! You are one of the people I have a very good feeling about. Praying for your BFP.
ASM - had my 5dt today and less just say it was less than stellar. Out of my 12 embies NONE made it to blast! I put back two, both are a day behind (one a morula, one compacted). Strangely enough, the compacted one is my better one. Apparently I INITITALLY had 12 fertilize...then a 13th one decided to fertilize the following day. So weird. Anyway, that one is the compacted one, so in actuality, it is growing right on target. So it was almost like doing a 4dt.
Anyway, I am bummed. The RE was very sweet, but I could tell she wasn't overly convinced this would work for me. She offered me the option of putting in three, but the third would have been even worse quality so why risk it? She was so relieved when I said just two (apparently she was scared I WOULD go for three). I know many would put in three, and that's totally fine, but I just didn't feel comfortable with it, especially since we already have two little ones at home.
At any rate, I'm not devastated at all. I don't really think this will work, but it will be a nice surprise if it does! If anything, it will give us good closure. DH and I decided this would be our last try and talking to the RE today really confirmed it. She's not my primary RE, but she did my ET last time and remembered me since i was her only parient to NOT get pregnant.She has no idea why, after two cycles, I have a really great response, great fertilization rates, and yet poor embryo quality. Since it's happened twice in a row, it's a good indicator not to do it again, but again, that's ok. God has a plan and we've already been blessed with two wonderful kids. Hopefully we'll be able to adopt more in the future.
So my fingers are crossed for a miracle, but at least I won't be devastated with a BFN if that's what's meant to be.
Me - 30
DH - 38
DS - 5 (adopted, Russia), DD 3 (adopted, Kyrgyzstan)
IVF 1-2: BFN
IVF 3: BFP!!
Beta 1: 905 14dp3dt, Beta 2: 1709 16dp3dt
TWIN GIRLS!!
DH - 38
DS - 5 (adopted, Russia), DD 3 (adopted, Kyrgyzstan)
IVF 1-2: BFN
IVF 3: BFP!!
Beta 1: 905 14dp3dt, Beta 2: 1709 16dp3dt
TWIN GIRLS!!
Hey guys,
Just a quick update on me. Sorry no personals today - so swamped with work work and school work. Just wanted to let everyone know that I had my suture today and it looks like a go for Friday's transfer. YAY! Just have to keep praying that my little frosties thaw successfully...
Hope all is well with you!
-Robin
Just a quick update on me. Sorry no personals today - so swamped with work work and school work. Just wanted to let everyone know that I had my suture today and it looks like a go for Friday's transfer. YAY! Just have to keep praying that my little frosties thaw successfully...
Hope all is well with you!
-Robin
me 38: no problems
dh 43: low motility, morphology
IVF #1 (Nov 08 ): BFP! - 2 xfer'd, 4 cyro. Ended in M/C at 8 weeks.
FET #1 (Mar 09): BFN - 2 xfer'd, 2 left.
dh 43: low motility, morphology
IVF #1 (Nov 08 ): BFP! - 2 xfer'd, 4 cyro. Ended in M/C at 8 weeks.
FET #1 (Mar 09): BFN - 2 xfer'd, 2 left.
Hello ladies. Well just got back from grocery store. thank you ladies for giving me that hope still and for all the support. I have been so down all day. I am not going to POAS and just wait my Beta out till Thursday, I pray to God that I will be pleasantly surprised. To top it off, I have to go to my brother's FF Academy Cermony on Friday. I hope I wont be down.
Robin... Congrats. I will be sending you lots of sticky baby Dust your way. hope u get your BFP.
Nursegator... Congrats on your BFP!!!
I am so happy for you. Well, now it is official, have a happy & healthy 9 months.
CA... thanks for that peice of info. I really hope it is true. Well, it is your turn tomorrow for your Beta. I cant wait to hear your Positive results. Good Luck tomorrow hun!!!!
aspotoftea... TY hun, u r so sweet. So when is your beat hun?
babyluv.. Congrats on your ET. I will be praying and sending you lots of sticky vibes. I hope your embies implant and u have yet even more children and at least 2 of your own... u deserve it, especially since u have given your love as a mother to children that u adopted, GOD will know that you deserve to be a mother of your own children as well. Good Luck hun, hope u get your miracle. When is your Beta?
Robin... Congrats. I will be sending you lots of sticky baby Dust your way. hope u get your BFP.
Nursegator... Congrats on your BFP!!!
I am so happy for you. Well, now it is official, have a happy & healthy 9 months.CA... thanks for that peice of info. I really hope it is true. Well, it is your turn tomorrow for your Beta. I cant wait to hear your Positive results. Good Luck tomorrow hun!!!!
aspotoftea... TY hun, u r so sweet. So when is your beat hun?
babyluv.. Congrats on your ET. I will be praying and sending you lots of sticky vibes. I hope your embies implant and u have yet even more children and at least 2 of your own... u deserve it, especially since u have given your love as a mother to children that u adopted, GOD will know that you deserve to be a mother of your own children as well. Good Luck hun, hope u get your miracle. When is your Beta?
I am 32 yrs / DH is 34
PCOS/1 tube/ DH low sperm count
1st IVF cycle... Nov 2008 = BFN
2nd IVF cycle...Feb 2009 = BFN
FET... Sept. 2009 = BFN
[img]http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii228/christie_lscc/baby-2.gif[/img]
PCOS/1 tube/ DH low sperm count
1st IVF cycle... Nov 2008 = BFN
2nd IVF cycle...Feb 2009 = BFN
FET... Sept. 2009 = BFN
[img]http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii228/christie_lscc/baby-2.gif[/img]
1st we need to visit with our RE’s...
ct_michele: (April cycle)
Espinozal23: March FET
Uno MAS: 1st stages of IVF Cycle (BW, SA, US)
Robin611: (FET Mar. 13th)
Rosario:
Sisi: March Cycle
Sophie1: February Cycle
RosiePosie: New Cyle RE appt. Feb. 15th
dys24
d-bear
Hopeful~n~09
kcraven (FET Apr. 6th)
London
tabatha1975
amfmbaby
JLB380
Jmomma
Kimbob
To_Have_fun
ValdezdoingIVF
CAFirstInvitro (Beta Mar. 10th)
Jolene_Rae (Beta Mar. 11th)
Lady_J (Beta Mar. 12th)
aspotoftea (Beta ?)
babyluv (Beta ?)
okandtxdr (Beta ?)
brit1612 (FET Feb. 5th Beta ?)
Kt257 (Beta ?)
BETA RESULTS!!!!!
dys24: AF arrived before Beta (Natural Cycle #2 in progress)
Sisi1: Cycle Canceled!!! (Cycling again in March)
Espinozal23: BFN
(So Sorry)Tkat: BFP!!! 369
TWINS... Yipee!!!DNT0809: BFP!!! 66
Mandeekins: BFP!!! 893 WoW!!!
Prayin4BFP: Cycle canceled due to OHSS.
RosiePosie: BFN
BarbD: BFP!!! 200
Molly23: BFP!!! 226
TWINS!!!Kate65: BFP!!! 3520
TWINS!!!JennLB25: BFP!!! 830
Waitingfor4: BFN
So HardTburks: BFP!!! 187
Shelleyj5: BFP!!! 344
To_have_fun: BFN Natural Cycle
Kcraven: BFN
Sorry Brown01: BFP!!!
Rosario: BFN
Niki: BFP!!! 442
SueQiwi: BFP!!! 151
hopeful_VA: BFP!!! 337
Wondercat: BFP!!! 136
Anxious: BFN
SorryNursegator: BFP!!! 237
Lady_J, my beta will most likely be the 20th. It is scheduled for the 19th but I am moving it since that is DDs surgery. Thanks so much for the baby dust and PMA! I'll need all I can get. Already having my own two children has definitely made this process easier, but I would love to add to our family for sure! I can't wait to hear about your beta on Thursday.
Me - 30
DH - 38
DS - 5 (adopted, Russia), DD 3 (adopted, Kyrgyzstan)
IVF 1-2: BFN
IVF 3: BFP!!
Beta 1: 905 14dp3dt, Beta 2: 1709 16dp3dt
TWIN GIRLS!!
DH - 38
DS - 5 (adopted, Russia), DD 3 (adopted, Kyrgyzstan)
IVF 1-2: BFN
IVF 3: BFP!!
Beta 1: 905 14dp3dt, Beta 2: 1709 16dp3dt
TWIN GIRLS!!
I have officially given up on everything. I will stay in my apt until the lease is up or until I can get a job back home in NY. I know its a little hard considering how the economy is but I have faith.
He lied to me once again. Two different MSN conversations with two different ladies... 1st lady.... he was asking for sex 2nd lady... he was asking the female to get undressed on the webcam and told her he wanted to have a child with her. To top everything off he dedicated one of our songs to her saying it reminded him of her back in the days.
What did I do wrong? I have to blame it on not being able to give him a child. I know thats the problem. I am not hurt just frustrated and scared. I am giving up on my dream of being a mother thats HURTING me inside. I can't turn back time but God can hopefully help me overcome this pain.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT 2009 WAS MY YEAR....
I AM GIVING UP!!!
He lied to me once again. Two different MSN conversations with two different ladies... 1st lady.... he was asking for sex 2nd lady... he was asking the female to get undressed on the webcam and told her he wanted to have a child with her. To top everything off he dedicated one of our songs to her saying it reminded him of her back in the days.
What did I do wrong? I have to blame it on not being able to give him a child. I know thats the problem. I am not hurt just frustrated and scared. I am giving up on my dream of being a mother thats HURTING me inside. I can't turn back time but God can hopefully help me overcome this pain.
JUST WHEN I THOUGHT 2009 WAS MY YEAR....
I AM GIVING UP!!!IVF #1: Oct '08- BFN
IVF #2: Feb '09- BFP (Chem)
IVF #3: May '09- BFP
(Triplets lost at 21.5 weeks- Preterm Labor)
BFP: Natural Pregnancy March '10
Little Frank Manuel arrived 11.20.10
June '11 natural BFP sadly ending in miscarriage :(
IVF #2: Feb '09- BFP (Chem)
IVF #3: May '09- BFP
(Triplets lost at 21.5 weeks- Preterm Labor)
BFP: Natural Pregnancy March '10
Little Frank Manuel arrived 11.20.10
June '11 natural BFP sadly ending in miscarriage :(
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to_have_fun08
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 2023
- Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:50 pm
- Location: Illinois
Rosario - Don't blame your DH's infidelity on you not giving him a child. Obviously he has some other issues other then that. Sorry that you are going through all of this stuff. If I could I would kick DH in the nuts for you. At least you are finding out now. Sometimes it is a lot easier to break up without the child factor. I know that doesn't help any. If becoming a mom is what you want, then maybe think about Donor Sperm. You are young and have a lot of life left. A few years from now you might be smiling because of these turn of event. Keep us posted and feel free to PM me.
((((HUUUGGSSS)))
Chris
At least you are finding out now. Sometimes it is a lot easier to break up without the child factor. I know that doesn't help any. If becoming a mom is what you want, then maybe think about Donor Sperm. You are young and have a lot of life left. A few years from now you might be smiling because of these turn of event. Keep us posted and feel free to PM me.((((HUUUGGSSS)))
Chris
To Have Fun- Are you excited about your beta tomorrow. I have been thinking about you.
Rosario - I am so sorry you are going through this, and you deserve so much better. You will have the baby you dream of one day, and you don't need him to have your dream.
Lady J how is your stimming going? Keep your chin up I have a feeling everything is going to go your way this time.
Anxious- I am so sorry about your results. Keep your head up and you will get your BFP soon enough.
nursegator- Congrats on the BFP!!!
As for me my back is killing me today. I have my first OB appointment tomorrow, and I am excited and nervous.
Rosario - I am so sorry you are going through this, and you deserve so much better. You will have the baby you dream of one day, and you don't need him to have your dream.
Lady J how is your stimming going? Keep your chin up I have a feeling everything is going to go your way this time.
Anxious- I am so sorry about your results. Keep your head up and you will get your BFP soon enough.
nursegator- Congrats on the BFP!!!
As for me my back is killing me today. I have my first OB appointment tomorrow, and I am excited and nervous.
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/2i9im4/.png[/img]
Rosario - I hope this isn't to blunt... But if I were you, I would be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't have a child with this loser. Don't give up on your dream of being a mother. Give up on the delusion that this guy would ever in a million years be a good father or husband. If you had children he would be doing the same thing, it would only mean that they were around to be hurt by him as well. And he certainly doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would find a baby belly sexy. So what do you think those 9 months would entail?
Anyway, I worked with a guy a few years back who had a beautiful baby boy with his lovely wife - and he was let go for carrying out online sex shenanigans literally all day at work. My boss being computer illiterate I had to help him wipe the memory clean on the computer before we hired a new person, and let me tell you it was appalling. This behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his problems. It pains me to think that the disrespectful way he has been treating you has caused you to feel that way.
2009 WILL be your year. Get out there and make a fresh start.
Anyway, I worked with a guy a few years back who had a beautiful baby boy with his lovely wife - and he was let go for carrying out online sex shenanigans literally all day at work. My boss being computer illiterate I had to help him wipe the memory clean on the computer before we hired a new person, and let me tell you it was appalling. This behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his problems. It pains me to think that the disrespectful way he has been treating you has caused you to feel that way.
2009 WILL be your year. Get out there and make a fresh start.