May/June Cycle Buddies

[jenn]

Hey girls! Ok I finally got up the nerve to post. Mind if I join?

Little history: TTC over 3 years. When I got off the pill I had VERY irregular periods for a year. No ovulation. Had some IUI's w/ clomid, didn't work. Had an HSG test, tubes all clear. Had a Lap. done in Feb. 06, they found stage three endo. Ah, that could be the problem! Who knows? I got my first BFN in Oct. 06. It has taken me this long to get up the guts (and save $$ )to do it again. We didn't get a lot of eggs after like 12 days of stimms. They got 5, 3 were mature, 2 fert. and were put back. Dr. promises this cycle will be a whole new protocol. I think it is called the "Flare". I'll use Lupron everyday with the stimm drugs. she thinks we will get more eggs that way. I would like to have enough to freeze some!

So DH and I have decided to try again in June. I still have to call the Dr. to make sure she is ok with that since it has been so long since I have seen her! Till june we are trying the old fashioned way!

I really, really, really hope we are all a part of the Feb. 2008 babies thread!!!

Talk to you later!

[TansRN]

Hey gang-
So good to see everyone on here! I love it. I love having this place to come and get support for everything that we have to undure!! I am really starting to get excited about things and I am looking forward to moving on!!! Yippie! I will be getting my calendar on April 3rd. Still sitting here waiting and anticipating!!!

Jenn
I am glad that you are able to join us. It took me a while before I was able to start again. On the one hand I really wanted to get going right away and on the other I was scared at the disappointment it may give. Then the possible joy of a pregnancy outweighed the other and that brings us to here....Good luck!

Sophie
You have been through a lot with that hysterometer thing. That must have been horrible!!! I can't believe that happened. We talk about that stuff in some of my nursing classes. They always recommend that you ask who is doing the procedure and if they are the resident you can ask for the physician. I didn't know that when you sign a consent you are signing for anyone that even knows the real physician to do your procedure whatever it may be. That is ludacris!!! I am always going to ask who is doing it. I never knew this. Anyhow forgiveness is the key to freeing yourself from that woman. I am looking forward to starting again...I did recognize your name from the other thread. Glad that we are together and hopefully it will just continue into next year for good reason!

Jen
So glad to meet up with you again! I did email you....It sounds like you have some good frosties! I am excited for you. How many will you be putting back? It sounds like you have a good cycle protocol. Not to bad with chemicals!!! Glad you are here...

Shantala
So good to have you! Join right in. That is what this site is all about. It doesnt matter that you are behind us in schedule-we will be here to give you encouragement as you travel down the road of infertility treatments!!!
I am hoping that this works for you this time! Isnt it exciting to think that we could be pg in a few months? It is really driving me crazy-forget the 2WW it is more like 2-3 month wait!!!

Hello hello Carolyn
That is too funny that you went to U of M for training! That is where I go to school. I am in the Family Nurse Practitioner program!!! I got my undergrad from there as well. That is really interesting! I do understand how busy it can get at work. I have just started a new shift-NIGHTS! and I am having a hard time adjusting. I know it will happen but my question is when!!!! Looking forward to positive things happening for all of us!!!

Have a good day ladies-so glad we are together!

[TansRN]

Just as a fun note....we are finally having a nice weather day! It is 75 and sunny here and it usually takes much longer to be like this. I love the spring when everything is becoming new again!!!!!

[CarolynB]

Hey Tanya - weird to think that you go to that school/uni and I have been there too. Summy weather here today too. It seems so much better when it is warm and sunny. Now look what you started here. There is getting to be a good crowd all ready and you are our thread Mom!!! You also look like you shall be leading the way as you get started pretty soon

Jen - Welcome - off course you can join us - I am so sorry to read about your biochem and then m/c. It must have been so devastating after the +ve. Brave lady to be going again but sounds like your frosties are amazing quality. Last time your body was practicing so this time it will know just what to do. I have been doing acu and I love it. Really helped me relax and also deal better with the symptoms of the drugs.

Jenn - Welcome - No need to feel/or be brave about posting. The idea is that we can all put down what the heck that we like. Don;t feel like you have to hold back. It can be to vent, be angry or sad. Anything goes. I have done a 'flare' the last two times so please ask if you have questions & I will try to help out. I found it much easier on my body after the long protocol. No different outcome for me but that is just my sad,old body!!! I may not even be starting to June either so sounds like we will be bring up the rear. Might even be cycle buds!?

Sophie - OMG. I cannot believe what she did to you. I read some of your background on another thread but reading it all is so bad that she did that to you. It must be hard not to want to go and punch her lights out. But you are so right that moving on and dealing with it is so much braver. Forward rather than back as you said

I shall look forward to getting to know you all better over the coming weeks/months.

Shantala - how are you bearing up hun? Do you have a review appointment date as yet from your clinic?

Hugs to you all. Just passing time waiting to see my gp on Thursday to see whether she feels sorry enough for me & dh to run some of the blood tests for free for my new clinic so we can save some £. And going to see my consultant at our old clinic on Thursday pm to see whether he thinks that we have any hope after 3 straight -ves or whether my eggs are just no good. Cannot seem to figure out whether I am terrified of what he might say or hopeful that he will be definitive so it helps us take decisions. Filled in paperwork to get all my notes copied from old clinic. Then all I can do is wait until the middle of April and call my new clinic before AF so I have to found out what tests I will need done in our monitored cycle!???

Anyway, 1 day closer to the weekend and us getting our bundles of joy.

Night Night
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxx

[TansRN]

Carolyn it is exciting! I loved your post about punching the lights out of the resident! That was great! I am excited to get started....lets get going. and I am hoping to lead the way with only a + result! That is the goal for us! I am excited and ready. I sure wish it didn't depend on cycles! Everything in my life seems to revolve around AF!!! Geeze....

[jen779]

Speaking of weather...it is 78 degrees here and sunny. Perfect weather for a tan! Thanks to everyone for there support! I am excited to have a bunch of women like you guys to lean on.

[jenn]

Hey girls!

Thank you for the welcome!

Carolyn- why did they decide to do the Flare protocol on you? did you not get a lot of eggs before that? Good luck for Thursday at your GP!!

Gotta go, talk to you all later!

[Jul1e]

Hi ladies, can I join you? I remember you Carolyn and Shantala from the Feb thread. I just discovered the site when I was in the midst of my 1st cycle of IVF which obviously didn't work (since I'm here!) and then I disapeared pretty fast to cry for a couple of weeks.

Anyhoo I'm back and looking forward to starting again. It was very difficult for the first week or so but like you have all been saying Spring arriving has really lifted my spirits. I am also enjoying being ivf drug free for a while and having a few boozy nights out too after being tee-total for a while!

Here's my background for you all;

Got married nearly 4 years ago and started trying about a year after that, just after I turned 30 - I was the first married out of my group of pals so thought I was going to be the first mum by a bit - oh how wrong could I be!

Went and got tested after a year of trying and found nothing wrong, regular, tubes fine, etc and dh with a normal sperm count. The only thing was I'd had chlamydia when I was 24 (from my unfaithful ex!) but that was caught and erradicated quickly but I do always wonder if that's the prob.

About a year ago we got to the top of the national health waiting list and they told me to do IUI. I did four cycles in a row (maybe not so bright in retrospect as I was miserable for most of last year from the meds). None worked and we were told we could start IVF at the start of 2007. You get two free goes here. No 1 was a bfn so here I am.

I'm waiting for AF which should be here by now so I can call the clinic and then start down regulating on day 21 - as long as there's room. So all going well I'll be going ahead in May. I'm already looking at private clinics for after if this one doesn't work, my bro and sis in law were successful on IVF no 4 and friends of mine on go no 3 so I know I have to be prepared.

On the plus side big time I'm going to be an Auntie next week to my bro and wife's twin girls from that no 4 ivf! Unfortunately they're in New York and I'm in Scotland so I'll not get to see them til the summer. How great is that though? Just shows, you just don't know which one will take so you gotta just keep at it!

PMApsy, I couldn't believe your story, that's just awful. What an unbelievable situation! What a be-ach!

Well I'll be off after that huge post, it's nearly bed time.

Sweet dreams all!

Jules

[Literatriz]

Hi all,
I would like to join the May/June early birds thread. It seems to me that I am already so invested in the process, DH doesn't want to talk much about it and, at my age, no one has the slightiest idea of what we are planning to do ... so joining others in the same waiting room is a nice way of staying in touch with our own hopes and fears.
I am hoping all is well with Sophie. As for the person who caused so much suffering - I hope at least she learned to be kind and careful to her clients. I wish one day she will be informed of Sophie's success in attempting to conceive a child.
Best wishes, Literatriz

[hrobinson]

hello all!!!
I am currently on the April/May thread...but really belong here.
This is my second IVF procedure, my first was successful and I have a beautiful baby girl. We had always said that with the cost of IVF, we would only do it one time. However, I loved being pregnant, and I can't imagine my daughter not having a sibling. So, here we go again. I am hoping we are successful yet again.
My biggest fear is that we will get a BFN. I don't know how I will respond. Th first time we did this, I Ihad just had surgery to rid my body of all the endo. Well, I know the endo has returned, but am not willing to undergo that surgery again, so we are taking a risk.
I just got the call yesterday to set up all my dates. I will be starting Lupron on May 22, then Gonal-F on May 26. We should retrieve the week of June 11. WOW!!! It all happens so fast.
I was so excited yesterday being able to put all this on my calendar...dh just didn't understand.
I am so glad this board was opened up
My clinic is doing things alittle different this time....I am on continuous BCP and have been since February. so, I guess I won't have AF again until...well, who knows. NOT COMPLAINING about that
Well, thanks again for starting this board. I can' t wait to see all of us obtain BFP's

[PMApsy]

Hello ladies!

Oooookay, that thread was a little low on the list! We must NOT let it die! Anyway, there were so many interesting posts that I have to post, too! So nice to meet new people!

Jen and Jenn, hehehe, I hope your nicks won't cause too much confusion, tee hee hee! Don't take it personal if I write one and meant the other, kay?

Jenn: I'm glad that your doctor are adjusting the procedure after your BFN. It's always a good sign. Using Lupron with the stimming will probably allow them to stimulate you more without risking ovulation (Lupron will prevent it to happen). Don't worry, I'll be there rooting loud and clear for your eggies when it's time! And Carolyn is right; this is a place where we do our best to be open-minded and non-judgemental and respect everybody's feelings and opinions, though of course one must always feel free to express all this. So do vent when you need to vent, we'll all be there for you, for better or worse, till delivery do us part!

TansRN: thanks for your kind words. For the record, I did forgive her long ago during that meeting. But you can't just forget the reason you're doing the IVF roller coaster rides, and I can live with that just fine. Hehehe above all, I LOVE your energy! You're making me all excited too! Please keep us posted when you get your calendar!

Carolyn: LOL punch her lights out! Nah, I'm over that, but the thought did cross my mind a couple of times in 2003... I'm sure looking forward to getting to know you better as well sweetie!

Jul1e: welcome! From what I see, other people went through IVF quite a lot in your family! Do you find that it helps or is it a burden as well? Don't take their trial numbers as a reference, though... I've seen pregnancies happen at trials number 1-2-3-4 and sometimes more here... and sometimes less, when rare but happy surprises happened, lol! Being drug-free is indeed amazing and I can tell you that I'm not looking forward to eventually go back on them, especially if I have to do a fresh cycle in June. Ah, but we're not there yet! And about your background story, well... you know, 50% of infertility cases remain mysteries, so I wouldn't blame anything in particular. If your tubes aren't clogged, then I don't see why the chlamydia you had (the *******!) would be responsible. Anyhoo, I'm doing the AF jig for you big time and I'm looking forward to hear about your daaaates!

Literatriz: hello dear! Welcome to this thread! Tell me about DHs not understanding what our big fuss is about sometimes! Ah, I know what you mean! What do you mean by "at my age, no one has the slightiest idea of what we are planning to do"? However, I completely understand your need to keep it quiet... we haven't told our families and friends, except for three people, about our IVF cycle. We just don't need their support for now and constantly talking about it, being asked about it, would just revive the pain, at least for me. Thanks for your kind words! I've been playing with the idea of writing her a letter to let her know about how my case has evolved since 2003, but you know what? I don't think she deserves my time at all.

hrobinson: welcome! Congratulations on your little baby girl! Woohoo! How old is she? I sure wish you another BFP on this cycle sweetie and I'll be honored to share the ride with you!

Shantala: How are you doing sweetie? won't we have to start thinking about an eventual list at some point?

Okay, that's it for me.. I have to get going. Was great to catch up; take care ladies and have a great day!

Sophie

[PMApsy]

OH, oh and I wanted to share something with you guys! The most wonderful thing happened last week; I dreamed of my little girl! We were in a kitchen probably, it was sunny and she was struggling to open something, a gift that I had given her. The gift was inside a giant nut that was kind of shaped like a coconut, but already split in two and partially open... so I helped her open it and inside, she found a small ball-shaped chocolate cake. She took a big bite right away and when she spoke, I saw her lips and tiny white teeth all smeared with chocolate and she said (in French of course), "Mommy, you really make the best brownies in the whole wide world!" And I smiled at her and I hugged her and then I felt so filled with maternal love that for the first time I had the impression to know exactly what that feeling is about even though I don't have any children yet. She was very pretty... about 5 years old, long dark brown hair, straight, and she had green eyes... really a mix between my DH and me. She was adorable and to this day, I have a strong feeling that this was a premonition.

That maternal explosion of love was really the one of the best feelings, I can assure you...

Sophie

[shantala]

hi ladies

welcome to all the other ladies that i havent had a chance to welcome yet!! its great, we're getting a nice number together now!!

i havent got a chance to do personals at the mo but thought i would quickly update you on my situation:

well, the clinic finally called me back yesterday (after calling them 3x since my BFN) and we're going for another fresh cycle with my may AF, so will start downregging in june. i asked them if the chances go up or down with subsequent cycles and she said they stay the same at this point. they gave us a 40% chance for our first cycle so she reckons the same. she couldnt give me any answers as to what went wrong but then i knew she wouldnt be able to. i know that unfortunatly its just a luck-game sometimes. she said i had textbook embryos put back in (2 top quality 8 cell embies) so it was then just down to nature. i did ask her whether there is anything we can do about our number of mature eggs (we had 15 eggs but only 5 were mature) and she said they dont suggest upping my dose of stimms as i had enough follies as it was (and they dont want to overstimulate me) but they'll probably just leave me for an extra day or 2....so it all sounds fairly good. on the one hand i was hoping they'd have other plans but then again i'm pleased that they did everything right this time and that it was just bad luck....know what i mean??

anyway, so we're going again in june!!!!!!! wooooohooooooo!!!!!!!!! we need to sort a second mortgage out to pay for it, which wont come through by then so dh has suggested to put the cycle on the credit card for now so we could start asap again and then pay the credit card off with the second mortgage.....bless him!!

thats it for me...i do feel better now we have a plan again!!

i'm really, really sorry i dont have time to do personals but i promise i'll get round to doing them soon!!

xxxxx

[nicolamark]

Shantala, good luck for May/june!! x x When do u go to Egypt?? x x

[CarolynB]

Shantala - so pleased that you have a plan. I am sure that they will tweak things a little for go number 2 as they will learn from your first try. I have paid for all of our cycles on credit card. It seems weird to put over a piece of plastic to get a baby but if your dh is happy to go that route then go for it. No point waiting around for the 2nd mortgage when you are clearly fired up and ready to go again. My clinic told me that whatever your odds are based on age/FSH level/number of eggs that they hold the same for the first three tries. It is just roll of the dice. Sadly for me, they will be lower on try 4 and after that they drop again. But 40% for you is truely a great possibility. Two goes at that rate gives you an 80% probability.

Jenn - Attempt 2 they put me on short/flare for practical reasons. Otherwise it would have been tricky to do a cycle pre-Xmas. I found the drugs much easier on my body. My response was v similar (they got less eggs as they could only access 1 ovary) under both protocols so they suggested the short/flare again. They tend not to use for a first attempt as they worry about over stimualation but it is meant to give you a good chance of a higher number of eggs as you do not go through the surpression phase. Less jabs and less days to wait until the end outcome. Why did the recommend for you?

Sophie - what a lovely dream . It made me feel all warm and fuzzy just reading it Were you offering to have a go at a list? Think that it would be a great idea so we have a better chance to keep track of who is where in cycle especially as more ladies join us

Hi Jules - of course I remember you from the last thread - although sadly you were not around for very long & then did not get a good outcome. It is nice that this time you will be with us for the whole ride so we can get to know each other a little better. I have been largely tea total since my 1st -ve but have allowed myself a few drinks over the last couple of weeks. The regime and drugs and successive failures was all getting too much for me. However, now I only have to have a glass of wine to feel a little bit tipsy!!! It is good for us to let our hair down between cycles. It is good that you can get two free tries on the nhs. We had none due to my age! Terrifically encouraging for me to hear about success on attempt 4 for obvious reasons that my ticker reveals!!!

Literatriz - welcome - so nice to meet you. My dh is so relieved that I have the board and the ladies to talk too. I talked about it too much with him at the start and I feel that it risked pushing him away. I think that all of our dhs have very different ways of dealing with it to us

Hrobinson - Wow & welcome. A little girl. You can inspire us all when we are feeling down that it is so worth going through it. Hopefully you will be successful again and not have to deal with a bfn at all. All I can say is that it is a fear for all of us but you can find ways to deal with it and drag yourself back to go again because there is often no other way to get that wonderful bundle of joy. Interested to know how old your little girl is now and her name?

Jen - 78 degrees. That has to make you feel better. Get on the sun screen and the shades girl

Tanya - what news? All reved up and ready to go?

Hugs to anyone who I have missed. Sorry

GP tomorrow am to plead for her to run some tests for us for free before we move to the new clinic to help us with £. Consultant in the afternoon to see what he has to say about our latest failed attempt. Part scared that he will say that my eggs are just not up to it but almost definite news would be better than just keep trying and no real answers/reasons. We will have to wait and see and not get too stressed in the meantime.

Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxx