April & May 2008

[woodcliff]

"Helluva honeymoon"

NIGHT

[Mandy J]

We intend to tell our child they are result of IVF, a very expensive treatment and how we tried so hard to have a child. It is to justify not giving them any pocket money!!!!! but I do understand that everyone is different in what they want and for those who are expecting twins it will naturally draw curiosity....I have been curious myself when I've seen twins. Luckily I've restrained myself from being rude and asking! Our situation is that nearly everyone we know or even meet, knows that we are having IVF, it has never been a secret. This is not right for everyone, but for me it is. People stop me in the street to ask how it is all going, of course this has disadvantages....last time when it didn't work out, was tough to tell people...and this time I am dying to shout from the roof tops but keeping my mouth shut when I see people at the moment is quite tough. But the advantages are that there are 100's of crossed fingers out there for me, and there will be loads of knitting needles clicking away!!!

[robinsonpr]

Hi Girls,

We haven't really thought about whether or not we'll tell any children that are a result of the IVF. I think a while back there was probably a bit of a stigma attached to it, but I don't think it's the case now. I've told a few close friends and also my work because of having to keep having time off for trips to the clinic. But like Wood says...it's up to you and nobodys else's business. I think the way we will treat it if it's successful is that we won't broadcast it, nor will we try and keep it a closely guarded secret.

I must also admit that we were on holiday this year in Egypt and got friendly with a slightly older couple in the hotel who had young twins, and me and my DH decided they were probably IVF babies.

People will probably talk, especially if it's twins, but who cares!!! While we're on the subject of twins I am curious....does anyone know if non identical twins grow in the same amniotic sac or do they have one each? All my book says is that they have seperate placentas but they sometimes join or intertwine. Twins would be lovely!

Now...to marry or not to marry???? We have been engaged for over a year now, he proposed to me on Grand Cayman bless him. We were going to sort out the wedding plans straight away but took ages finding a suitable venue, then I fell pregnant naturally and had the ectopic. Since then we've put the wedding plans on hold as we knew IVF was going to take a lot of time/money/energy, and to us was far more important than sorting out the marriage. We were just going to leave it until a few years down the line, but I've been thinking about doing it before any kids come along. My friend saying the newborn(s) would take my surname after the birth got me thinking about it. We would register in my DH's surname though. The only thing is....if we do it it'll have to be rapid style or I'll never find a dress to fit! And then.....if we do rush it in this year I'm sure everyone will be making shotgun comments and asking the DJ to play Billy Idol's "White Wedding". Hmmmmm.

Still not feeling too bad. I feel a bit sick if I get hungry, and I'm sure my boobies have got bigger (much to my DH's delight) and my nips just seem to be acting a bit weird. My hips are aching still, to the point that I couldn't get a decent nights sleep last night.

TWELVE more days to the first US to hopefully confirm the presence of embryo(s)..........

Hayley x

[LisaPa]

Ok ladies after reading all the daily posts i would like to share something.... As far as BUSY BODY PEOPLE looking at you when you tell them you are having twins i have found a few responses that work so people dont even get the chance to ask if you used IVF...HERE goes 1--when you tell people you are having twins say OH YEAH THEY RUN IN MY FAMILY AS WELL AS MY HUBBYS....... TRICK 2-----My babies have 2 diff due dates according to growth twin a is due 4/18 and twin 2 is 4/17 ....i tell people that cause they always ask when are you due???? then i reply YEAH WE HAVE A VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE........ ...............I hope this helps any of you batteling the busy body people who ask quest...quite honestly its nobodys beezwax... how you got preg.....another ans is always when people ask how did you get preg .... It is a little nasty though you can say..IDONT ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE ARE YOU REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT MINE...... Let me know what all of you think... I have spent too much time worrying about people asking questions.....

Woodcliff--my m/s started week 6.....eat the carbs.....you need them .....look your going to gain weight either way why not eat wht makes your tummy feel better stop thinking about gaining weight ....just eat the carbs.................try eating them with protien..... I hope you feel better... I was told that when having twins you get hit worse i do belive this is true...

Vlada-- How are you feeling? Hope things are getting better for you..

Cocoa--Yes we are all getting fat..WHO CARES.... HOW LONG DID YOU WAIT FOR THIS??? Get fat ---give birth-----back to gym----- my best friend gained 60 pounds with her pregnancy her child is 1 now and she is back down to 115 lbs... so it can be done dont worry eat heathy and enjoy the pregnany.......

love to all.......

[Aliann09]

Hello girls just reading all of this concern over to tell or not to tell I never knew that so many people thought that if you were having twins that you had IVF, it never crossed my mind and I have never even heard of anyone asking the people around me who are having twins. I have 2 friends right now who are pregnant with twins both natual and it never once crossed my mind and no one has ever asked them about having IVF. I think we might be way overthinking the situation this is a decison that we all made and it is something that we wanted. People have problems conceving its not a secret and there is no reason for anyone to be embarrassed about how they concieved. I think it shows a lot of stregth and determination to do what we have all done and proves that we aren't afraid to go after what we want. all of our children should be proud of what we have done to bring them into our lives, they will know that they were not a mistake and how much we must have really wanted them and how much we really love them to do all of this.

We all need to try and just relax and enjoy this wonderful part of our lives, take the good with the bad(sick girls SORRY) and have fat healthy babies

[robinsonpr]

Well said Aliann, I think you're spot on. I'm sure we all do over-think these things and worry. We're all going through so much and it's difficult to not worry about every aspect of it. You're probably right most people probably wouldn't automatically associate twins with IVF...it's probably just us IVF peeps that do!

But you're right - it has taken a lot of courage and determination to take the route that we have, and it's certainly nothing to be embarassed about.

I think our babies will be forever loved, even more so because of being brought into the world through IVF. All too many times you see young parents that fall pregnant by accident and bring a baby into the world that neither parent really "wanted" at the time. I'm sure these children are loved, but when you've been through the pain of either losing a baby, or not being able to conceive in the first place then eventually getting this gift through IVF is bound to make the whole thing even more EXTRA SPECIAL.

Right I'm off for a cry.........

Hayley x

[LisaPa]

yes i will agree we do seem to over think things BUT i can tell you that I have had 3 people ask me if we had any HELP getting preg. So the situation is diffrent for everyone and not everyone even knows i am pregnant we only told like 12 people ..... I think the reason people seem to ask me is that we have been together a long time i am 35 and jeff is 41 so people always have asked us through the years when we were going to start a family....... our stock ans. always was well we are having fun practicing.....and when it happens it happens.. well years later here we are with TWINS.................. So people kinda look at us like hmmmmmm.....

[woodcliff]

Love the clicking needles in the UK image! click click click
so homey...

Hayley, if you want to, go for it! a nice small affair will be a joyous occassion for a wedding...Just do whatever doesn't stress you. The opposite is to register, have a justice of the peace type wedding for legality/birth certificate purposes, and a big bash post-baby...your call! Exciting either way!

I got married in June (after 9 years together), and took 4.5 mos planning it. I must say, it was the most gorgeous wedding ever (HUMBLE, EH?)...friends and family, elegant day..perfect in every way (except, ahem, my beaus idiot friend from London who IS AMERICAN so no Brit Bashing going on here, who gave a drunken idiot's LONG speech.) Overall, I lucked out...99.9% of the wedding went well

That said, wedding planning is very stressful...so maybe a small family affair is an answer (that said, it's the families that stress you the most).
Oh dear, don't think I've helped.

I wanted to be legally married before the IVF due to problems I have with his family. Legal on paper and in the will means if something happens to him the kiddies will be cared for financially. That's very important to me...I don't want to struggle as a single mom making ends meet...life's tough enough!

OK--GOOD LUCK

[woodcliff]

Feeling good...thank you...still no 'formal' M/S, just dizzy from time to time.
I'm a blond, it's expected


Yes, these IVF babies are loved and wanted.

[robinsonpr]

Ok I'm really worried now, to the point of real paranoia. I drove a fair distance today to my Gran's which is about 45 minutes each way. On the way home I had some quite really back lower back pain, and some quite bad pain on my side. When I touch my hip on the left side (the one with the tube) it feels like it's bruised. Like somebody hit my hip with a hammer and it's bruised.

I'm really worried about another ectopic (in case you hadn't guessed ). Does anyone else have pains on one side? Maybe I should go to the ER? Pain was probably 5 on a scale of 1..10 when I was in the car. Now it's not really a pain as such but my hip still feels bruised.

Any similar experiences?

Hayley xx

[rebeccaj]

Hayley, i would go and have it checked out - just to give you reassurance.. worrying will only make it worse and it's probably nothing.

I have just got through another morning of feeling crap - can't believe that this lasts for 12 weeks!! Thank fully it seems to have worn off at least for now.

WC, my due date is 5th May .. which made it feel really special as my family have this thing about number 5 being lucky and 5th May is 5th of 5th.

I have another week to wait for the scan and then I will hopefully be able to get off this paranoia train...at least for a bit.

Ok, got to run, have a meeting to get to. Have a wonderful weekend and take care

Lots of love XX

[CroElla]

Hayley as rebeccaj told you you should check it, but what is most likely happening to you is a uterus muscle stretching (sometimes it is more pronounced with women carrying twins:)...Just remember to stay calm


I see you guys talking about weddings... My hubby proposed in bed after really good sex We have been leaving together for 4 years at that time. Both of us knew we don't want a big wedding, so we got married on Wednesday with just a closest friends and family present; after that had a great dinner for us and 8 other people and to this day I believe that that was one of the most beautiful and relaxed days in my life

[woodcliff]

Hayley, I hope you've gone to the ER by now...could be an infection in the tube? Wishing you healthy thoughts...

Rebecca, oh how awful for you...you're what, 6 weeks along? Poor thing...Buy some of these Preggie Pops...maternity stores and places like Babies r' us or other kiddie stores will have them...I suck them from time to time if I feel woosy...

Also, candied ginger (found in bins at whole foods or wild oats or health food stores) are good to chew ... and as ever, PASTA! RICE! CARBS...oh my...

I think I'm showing. Anyone else? I'm ONLY 7 weeks along so I'm pulling out my MAMA SPANX to wear to a book reading tomorrow night...
best to you all!
Hayley, please let us know how you are!! --

[robinsonpr]

Hi I'm not really in pain as such. It's more of an ache now in BOTH hips. It's probably nothing. I'm going to bed now (my DH has just made me sit through a Prince film ). I'll see if I have any discomfort during the night and see how I feel in the morning. I'll call the clinic first thing and see what they say. I think I'm probably just over sensitive as I don't think I could go through another ectopic.

Speak to you all soon x

[Cocoa]

Hi Ladies... thank you all for all your input re: ivf and telling...

Let's see... we have a wedding to plan, M/S to take care of and pain in the hip/lower back area we have to diagnose... YEP! this is the pregnancy board alright!!!

Wedding:
I would want to be married before the babies come for the legal concerns. No one ever wants anything to go wrong but we all know circumstances can be very much out of our control so it's better that the babies have two "legal" parents so that everything is decided should something happen... (I don't like spelling it out because I choose not to speak to the bad stuff). Its ultimately up to you though. I just think it also sets a good precident for the children to follow (you know, marriage then babies...) Whatever you decide we are here for you and if you decide to marry soon we will be at the wedding VIRTUALLY!!!

M/S: yep, have it, but all day and just an underlying Yuckiness. Also get mild cramps but its more like a stretching feeling in my uterus - guess its those twins wanting to show face. Carbs do help but its like this... oh, I feel yucky, I can't eat....but if I eat maybe I'll feel better... I eat... OHHHH I still feel yucky... maybe if I DON'T eat... I don't eat for a fews hours... OHHHH I feel yucky... maybe if I eat... Get the picture??? NOTHING WORKS!!! except sleep and PEEING interrupts THAT!!!! Oiy!!!

Hip, lower back pain, bruise like feeling: I had terrible lower back pain and after 2 days began to think the worst because THEN I had cramping follow it... Thought "OMG!!! I have to see what's going on in there!!!" it subsided and I went in for my 1st u/s 6 days after and saw 2 teeny tiny HBs... cool!!! You will be just fine... I am positive it is NOT ectopic - DO NOT even speak to that. I wish I could say have some wine but alas we are all in the teetoteller (sp?) club for another AT LEAST 8 months right?!?! (then comes BF for some of us...)

No maternity clothes here cause I am dirt poor... I bought 2 size 12 black pants a couple of weeks ago (I started a size 6 and I think I'm an 8 now - I'm 5'8" so that's not too too bad). Have to save up diapers (and maybe even formula) for the next 8 months just to break even after the babies come. We are average income here and our ins paid for the IF treatment so... I am learning to become frugal.

I really hope and pray for healthy and very uneventful happy pregnancies for all of you...

You are all great support... Love you,

Cocoa