6 week pregnant/no heart beat.

dcu917 · Post by **dcu917** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:01 pm

hi natasha and ionlywant1 (like the name),

well, my OB went to talk to the radiologist and gave me the skinny. everything has to go through my RE though. the official signed report wasnt submitted as of this afternoon. so, my OB said that the radiologist said a fetal pole is visible, but that the progress from last week to this week should have been more (not sure on the size of the sac). my OB said since we are not monitoring hcg we don't know which way it's going (even though i understand that the gest sac can still grow and produce hcg, he thinks it would be dropping). he said they want to monitor me again in a week or so but that will be up to the RE since i'm technically in his care.

i felt a little relief last night from my sadness/depression about this, but i know that i should plan on this not working. i understand what kerpupples says about how she knows the difference now that this baby is growing correctly (congrats!). i just wish things were different, but we need to prepare for the worst as all the girls who've posted that have been here.

thanks for your support,

diane

kerpupples · Post by **kerpupples** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:58 am

Sorry to hear that you are both having to deal with this as well ionlywant1 and dcu917.

Diane - in my case between 6.5 weeks and 8 weeks we had 3 ultrasounds. During that time not only did the fetal pole not grow but it actually got a little bit smaller. So let's hope that since yours is still growing there's still hope. It's so conflicting to feel that as you are simultaneously preparing for the worst.

ionlywant1 · Post by **ionlywant1** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:06 am

Diane As for my screen name, it rings really true. A week can cause a lot of growth but a week waiting is sheer AGONY. I guess a sad reality of infertility is disappointment, but I guess without IVF my chance is zero so a gestational sac is further and better than I've ever had. Good luck to you, too. You too will be in my thoughts and prayers.

natashamom · Post by **natashamom** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:18 pm

ionlywant1,thanks so much for the nice words,it means so much to me right now.

Well,yesterday the radiologist claim I have a blighted ovum

Why does he say that when my uterus is so stuck high in my abdomen,couldnt it be he can`t see well?

Plus I`m just 6 week 3 days by my RE`s u/s.

Going again today to my RE for another u/s,praying for a miracle but not sure it`ll happen...

I hope both of us can get good news but if not we`ll have to look for another plan as how to get preg` quick,this is my plan!

Good luck to us all,

Natasha.

natashamom · Post by **natashamom** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:20 pm

so sorry this last email of mine was for kerpupples,so sorry!!!

dcu917 · Post by **dcu917** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:33 am

well, for me it looks like i'm at the end. as i said, they saw the fetal pole, but the radiologist stated in the report that there was no fetal heart activity and that my CRL was measuring at 6 weeks and i was 7 weeks 5 days. but, in another section of the report they wrote fetal heart rate of 96 bpm....my RE thinks the us tech was possibly measuring my heart rate. my OB went to talk to the radiologist today as they had recommended another scan. they told him that in all the years they have been doing this, sometimes it works out, so for that reason alone they can't give up. it's probably just putting documented closure that this is non viable.

natasha, hope you get better results.

natashamom · Post by **natashamom** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:27 am

Nop,actually,got worst results,my embryo died 2 weeks ago and my heart died with it...

I did cry so much but then went and bought nice white wine and oysters I was craving so much and couldnt have before.

I`m mourning this baby with all my heart and soul.

I`m so sorry you`re having bad news too,wish we could be close to comfort each other but at least we can write online.

I wish the both of us can find strenght and have a baby soon.

It was weird cause there was a lady behind me at the bank today just after my bad news and she heard my son talking about it so she told me she had the same thing happen to her,she was 10 weeks but her baby died 2 weeks earlier but now she`s 14 weeks preg` so I was just thrilled for her.

She told me she has a 15 y.o son(I have a 12y.o son) and that sometime after such a long time having kids you can lose a baby but then can get a healthy preg`.

Lots of hugs from me,

Natasha.

dcu917 · Post by **dcu917** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:35 am

so sorry natasha. i know exactly how you feel. i'm brokenhearted, too.

it is weird sometimes how things happen like that chance aquaintance with that lady. i have a not so happy irony. i'm doing my follow up us on monday 3/2. that is the day we lost my dad. so, i'll probably get the bad news on one of the worst days in my memory.

hug your son real tight.

i'm also praying we have success real soon.

take care of yourself and enjoy those oysters!

bdantonio · Post by **bdantonio** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:49 pm

i am soooo sorry natasha i know the feeling of loss. i also know that no words can change that pain. I was mad alot when i had my losses, i felt robbed and that it was unfair. I always said i would rather have a bfn then a m/c. the m/c was like a tease it was someone saying here is what you desire most in life then a few weeks or days later saying never mind i change my mind give it back. I will keep you in my prayers and i hope everything works out for the rest of you in your struggel

natashamom · Post by **natashamom** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:57 pm

Thanks so much bdantonio,this is exactly what I told DH,I wish I never had that pos` result,at least I wouldnt have to deal with this huge dispointment.

Now,I`m lost in my tears and just can`t stop thinking about it.

I`m back on the embryo waiting list again but also looking at maybe going to the Checz Republic as I heard they have good preg` rates and good rates as well.

I wish all of us to have a baby soon,hugs,

Natasha.

ionlywant1 · Post by **ionlywant1** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:46 pm

So sorry to hear the news dcu917 and natashmom. I'm nervous about my own 7week scan on Tuesday but there is nothing I can do about it. It is what it is. In a small way I envy you guys because you already know and you can start the process of grieving, healing, and moving on. Of course, my heart goes out to you. These damn PIO shots make me so emotional that I'm tearing up and I' don't even know you folks... just your stories. I pray that you both find inner piece and a means to mend your broken hearts.

bdantonio · Post by **bdantonio** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:20 pm

natasha was your pg from a donated embryo

Welshgirl38 · Post by **Welshgirl38** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:48 pm

Natasha,

Just logged on to hear this news. Im so sorry sweetheart, i know exactly what u are going thru. As u know the same thing happened to me on New Years day, and when i posted a few days ago to you, i think i already knew this had happened to you but tried to word my message as not to worry u too much.

I cried for days, and still do all these weeks later - there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think of my baby.

What have u been told that happens next? Will you have to go in to have a D&C or will you miscarry naturally? I miscarried naturally, it was my choice.

Yes we are going for another cycle, altho this will be out=r 4th go, my first ivf wasnt a good cycle and my 2nd one was terrible, the third one we did was our best ever (diffrent clinic) we got fab eggs (more than ive ever had) and fab embryos and we got pregnant! So theres is every chance it will work again .... i do hope u give it another go, u got pregnant hun and thats what ur clinic will work on .... i wish u all the luck and pray that next time you go all the way .... im right there with ya

Xxxxxx

dcu917 · Post by **dcu917** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:40 pm

i know this post is getting old, but thought i'd post my results.

i just had my third and final us today (8w6d) and, unfortunately, the baby hasn't grown any appreciable amount from last week and there is still no heartbeat detected. so, i'll be discussing next steps (d&c or natural miscarriage) with my ob and probably ccrm. i hope we can find out what the problem was (chrom testing). i just don't want to have to wait another 3 months to try again. i may have mentioned this before, but my sister-in-law is pregnant (14wks) and it's making things that much harder...our babies would have been the same age. i know it's not a race, and i have the most supportive husband in the world, but i'm 39 and see my fertility falling off the cliff! so, needless to say, my head is spinning, my heart is aching, and this is one of the toughest things i've ever gone through.

welshgirl - hope this is your cycle! i now know the pain you went through.

natasha - hope you are healing and planning your next step soon!
((hugs))

ionlywant1 - hope you got good results. if not, as you said, we know we can get this far! all the best to you.

thank you all for your support!

ionlywant1 · Post by **ionlywant1** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:38 am

Today March 4 at 1:45 pm. The day..... the muuuuuusic...... died. Sorry ladies I'm feeling a little melodramatic but I think that statement just about sums it up for me. I thought I was prepared for this because I had a week between scans but it still hurt and I still cried. My RE sent me to an imaging center today for my third ultrasound to confirm. He didn't call yet for the official read but the ultrasound tech let me watch the whole scan. I'm 7w 2d and although the sac grew to 14mm it was empty as empty could be. I had a beta drawn and although it is rising, it is rising slower than what is expected. My RE has to call tomorrow with the final decision (I don't envy his job) because the sac measures 6w 2d so he has to decide to wait and see one more week or to pull the plug on the PIO shots. I've been staying away from junk food and caffeine so DH and I had wonderful dinner consisting of 2 double cheeseburgers (for me!), extra large fries, coke and some cinnamon melts. This won't help the little bulge that has grown in the 7 weeks and that makes me sad because 1) there is no baby when I rub my little tum and 2)I'm fat!

dcu19 I agree that this is one of the toughest things I've ever had to face. Thank you for updating the thread because I've been thinking about you and natashamom. I wish that I could give you more comfort in this trying time other than to say that I think you are very brave. Events like this affect a woman's heart deeply but somehow we always find a way to pick up the pieces and try to move on. The loss of a child, no matter how early in development is very hard and its ok to mourn. You are lucky that DH is your foundation. Mine reminds me that he loves me more, not less because of the infertility because I (we) have to jump through so many hoops both physical and emotional to have what others have so easily. Let DH take care of you for a few days. And when you have your child, hopefully twins, I know you will make an excellent mother. As for your sister-in-law, yes it makes your journey to healing even harder. My sister called yesterday after my second scan by my RE and told me she is having another girl (20wks). She knows about my struggles and wasn't being insensitive because I really wasn't updating her about all my scans. It was a touching conversation and now that I look back it was kind of comical because we were both sobbing hard and trying to talk at the same time. There was a lot of apologizing for being pregnant and apologizing for ruining her joy of her recent scan. I talked to my regular ob/gyn and she has a trick using a kind of medicine to help jump start a natural miscarriage. Its not guaranteed but works about 80% of the time. She said that there is a lot of cramping and potentially heavy bleeding. I'm really private and I don't want people to know so I would very much like to have it natural. She told me to go to ER if I'm bleeding excessively or in too much pain. So it has its drawbacks but I don't want to prolong the waiting. Good luck with your decision.

Welshgirl38 Good luck on your upcoming cycle. I'll be sending baby vibes your way. I cried today when I watched a baby food commercial. Guess I shouldn't watch the baby channel.

Natashamom I truly hope that you are doing better than last week. Wanting a baby and being so very close is so f@#%ing unfair. It feels like I've been screwed because up until the ultrasound I thought my dream was finally coming true. I had a minivan picked out, I had my due date and c/s date picked out (I had a fibroid removed and they said I needed c/s), I had the nursery planned from the furniture to the colors, I had a rough draft of scrapbook pages detailing my ordeal including px of the embryo, px of the uterus at the time of ET. Heck I even had the caps to all the vials of medicine I injected to make for a decorative embellishment. Hug DH, hug your son and have more oysters.

As for me, I'll be praying for healing and I'll be praying for all of you for successful cycles and the fulfillment of our hearts' desires.

6 week pregnant/no heart beat.

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