Hi Staci
Just wanted to say i am really sorry about your news im about to start my 1st icsi cycle,
i have been ttc for 3 years now, anyway back yo you the only advice i can really give you is go out and enjoy yourself like you did when you went bowling it wont stop your pain but as you found out you were able to relax a little take each day at a time and if thats to long like it has been for me lately take each small step one at a time then one hour at a time
as for not being strong enough look what you have already been thro you are strong enough you just cant see it at the moment as your pain is to great take it slow staci you will come thro this i will be thinking of you and i wish you lots of luck with whatever you decide to do next
lots of love
Ang xx
I am a wreck after BFN
Staci - so pleased you are feeling a bit better - in answer to your question.....I am paranoid about everything , just still waiting for AF to arrive - I can best describe it as being on the 2WW but worse 
am making a right old pain the arse of myself on the "other side" asking endless stupid questions - as tracey S will vouch for - she is however being a god send!!
Your turn soon - be VERY positive about the frozens- I may be joining you with my frozen if this all goes the wrong way. Nothing like keeping positive eh?!
Take care
Cazxx
am making a right old pain the arse of myself on the "other side" asking endless stupid questions - as tracey S will vouch for - she is however being a god send!!
Your turn soon - be VERY positive about the frozens- I may be joining you with my frozen if this all goes the wrong way. Nothing like keeping positive eh?!
Take care
Cazxx
Staci
Glad to see you have perked up a bit - if it makes you feel better you can come and do my patio furniture. Please remember that they sort out the MAJORITY of people in IVF these days and those they do not are for differing reasons obviously but if you have the patience and the money(???) carry on if you can..... I always believe it is pointless to regret something you have not done in life - better to try it and see if it works out. I never wanted to look back and say "what it we had done it one more time". Any time you need a kick up the backside just ask - I can do them really well.
Caz - you are funny - you are not a pain on the other side - makes me smile
But I notice a not so positive remark creeping in - get the birch twigs out!
Love
Tracey
xxx
Glad to see you have perked up a bit - if it makes you feel better you can come and do my patio furniture.
Please remember that they sort out the MAJORITY of people in IVF these days and those they do not are for differing reasons obviously but if you have the patience and the money(???) carry on if you can..... I always believe it is pointless to regret something you have not done in life - better to try it and see if it works out. I never wanted to look back and say "what it we had done it one more time". Any time you need a kick up the backside just ask - I can do them really well.Caz - you are funny - you are not a pain on the other side - makes me smile
But I notice a not so positive remark creeping in - get the birch twigs out!Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
staci, it realy is hearbreaking to read how u are feeling, we can all
undestand, it is so difficult to try and be positive.
My way of preparing for a -itve was to have a holiday booked it got
me away from seeing people. I was like you, i took redundancy
2 yrs ago after 19 yrs working for the same bank, to concentrate
on IVF, and it was a struggle at times,(confidence zero) especially the winter when
i was stuck at home feeling sorry for myself, but i always found
it better in the summer, as i play golf and i could get out on the
course in the sunshine and have to say always felt a bit brighter
after a round. I can understand the thought of more treatment
is very hard, but in time u will know when u feel its the right
time to start again.
alisonn
undestand, it is so difficult to try and be positive.
My way of preparing for a -itve was to have a holiday booked it got
me away from seeing people. I was like you, i took redundancy
2 yrs ago after 19 yrs working for the same bank, to concentrate
on IVF, and it was a struggle at times,(confidence zero) especially the winter when
i was stuck at home feeling sorry for myself, but i always found
it better in the summer, as i play golf and i could get out on the
course in the sunshine and have to say always felt a bit brighter
after a round. I can understand the thought of more treatment
is very hard, but in time u will know when u feel its the right
time to start again.
alisonn
Hi Staci
Firstly - I am so sorry that it wasn't your time this time and that you are feeling so sad. It is such a roller coaster ride this whole IVF lark and your emotions get tossed all over the place. It is only natural to be feeling like you do.
Secondly - Please don't give up. There are so many girls who have fallen PG with frosties. I have never been lucky enough to even get frosties in 3 cycles with lots of eggs and good fertilisations too. It's just something that I have had to accept but I will keep plodding on with fresh cycles.
When Katelyn died I thought my life was going to come to an end. I had endured so much IVf to get that miracle baby in my tummy and then a pregnancy from hell with so many problems to overcome. I didn't expect it to end the way it did and my outlook on life will never be the same again. It has given me a new outlook and I won't ever take anything for granted again. I won't give up as Katelyn's death must not be in vain. The way now is forward and we can't let the past ruin our future. You have been so strong up until now and one day you will get your dream come true. We all will in whatever shape or form. We must be positive.
For the moment you must collect your thoughts and spend some quality time together with your DH. It is hard to begin with but in time you will start to re-build your faith and give those little frosties their chance.
Sorry if I sound brash but I am giving out all this advice but not taking it myself as I am feeling depressed and fed up and very scared that it won't ever happen for me again. I have good moments and bad moments but all I have is my faith to see me through and of course all the lovely girls on here who are fantastic.
Be strong Staci, take care of yourself and your DH.
Love Dagny xkx
Firstly - I am so sorry that it wasn't your time this time and that you are feeling so sad. It is such a roller coaster ride this whole IVF lark and your emotions get tossed all over the place. It is only natural to be feeling like you do.
Secondly - Please don't give up. There are so many girls who have fallen PG with frosties. I have never been lucky enough to even get frosties in 3 cycles with lots of eggs and good fertilisations too. It's just something that I have had to accept but I will keep plodding on with fresh cycles.
When Katelyn died I thought my life was going to come to an end. I had endured so much IVf to get that miracle baby in my tummy and then a pregnancy from hell with so many problems to overcome. I didn't expect it to end the way it did and my outlook on life will never be the same again. It has given me a new outlook and I won't ever take anything for granted again. I won't give up as Katelyn's death must not be in vain. The way now is forward and we can't let the past ruin our future. You have been so strong up until now and one day you will get your dream come true. We all will in whatever shape or form. We must be positive.
For the moment you must collect your thoughts and spend some quality time together with your DH. It is hard to begin with but in time you will start to re-build your faith and give those little frosties their chance.
Sorry if I sound brash but I am giving out all this advice but not taking it myself as I am feeling depressed and fed up and very scared that it won't ever happen for me again. I have good moments and bad moments but all I have is my faith to see me through and of course all the lovely girls on here who are fantastic.
Be strong Staci, take care of yourself and your DH.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Angela,
Thanks for writing and I wish you luck on your first cycle! I don't want my post to discourage those of you who are trying for the first time. Of those of us who were cycling at the same time on this board, a good number of them got +tive results so it certainly can work. Even though it didn't for me, I don't regret having tried. At least I won't look back and wonder what would have happened.
Tracey,
I think I'm definitely going to need those kicks to get moving! I'm a terrible procrastinator. It takes me months of mulling over any unpleasant thing I know I need to do before I actually just go through with it.
Alisonn,
I wish I had a holiday booked. Definitely not a bad idea as sitting around the house just makes me think too much. DH has to go away for work for a few days towards the end of the week so I decided to just tag along with him for a change of scenery.
Caz,
I can't tell you not to worry so much about things because I know I would be doing the same but, at some point soon, I hope you will just be able to relax a bit and enjoy the pregnancy. I did read that the experience of being pregnant is more difficult on those who have gone through treatment because one just can't help always worrying something will go wrong even though there's no reason why it should. Good thing Tracey is around to keep you, Gem and the others all sane!
Dagny,
I must say I feel guilty for even crying over my situation when yours was so much worse. Yet, you've managed to pick yourself back up and continue taking positive steps to reach your goal. At the same time, you've been an enormous support to others of us on here.
To be honest, my problem at the moment is that DH (after talking with his mother no doubt) has become very pushy about my doing the frozen cycle ASAP....as soon as it is physically feasible. He brought the whole issue up yesterday after I have barely had time to come to terms with what happened last week. I had told him that I would like to try in Sept. or Oct. He definitely does not want to wait that long and feels it is just a waste of time to wait and that he'd rather know where things actually stand (i.e. whether the frosties will work or not) so we can work out a Plan B if they don't. I suppose he is probably right but I just don't feel emotionally ready to deal with it again. I can't even picture going into the clinic again at the moment or being on the 2ww again. Is this normal?
Are most people just ready to go onto the next treatment right away?
Thanks again to all of you. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this whole thing without you.
Staci
Thanks for writing and I wish you luck on your first cycle! I don't want my post to discourage those of you who are trying for the first time. Of those of us who were cycling at the same time on this board, a good number of them got +tive results so it certainly can work. Even though it didn't for me, I don't regret having tried. At least I won't look back and wonder what would have happened.
Tracey,
I think I'm definitely going to need those kicks to get moving! I'm a terrible procrastinator. It takes me months of mulling over any unpleasant thing I know I need to do before I actually just go through with it.
Alisonn,
I wish I had a holiday booked. Definitely not a bad idea as sitting around the house just makes me think too much. DH has to go away for work for a few days towards the end of the week so I decided to just tag along with him for a change of scenery.
Caz,
I can't tell you not to worry so much about things because I know I would be doing the same but, at some point soon, I hope you will just be able to relax a bit and enjoy the pregnancy. I did read that the experience of being pregnant is more difficult on those who have gone through treatment because one just can't help always worrying something will go wrong even though there's no reason why it should. Good thing Tracey is around to keep you, Gem and the others all sane!
Dagny,
I must say I feel guilty for even crying over my situation when yours was so much worse. Yet, you've managed to pick yourself back up and continue taking positive steps to reach your goal. At the same time, you've been an enormous support to others of us on here.
To be honest, my problem at the moment is that DH (after talking with his mother no doubt) has become very pushy about my doing the frozen cycle ASAP....as soon as it is physically feasible. He brought the whole issue up yesterday after I have barely had time to come to terms with what happened last week. I had told him that I would like to try in Sept. or Oct. He definitely does not want to wait that long and feels it is just a waste of time to wait and that he'd rather know where things actually stand (i.e. whether the frosties will work or not) so we can work out a Plan B if they don't. I suppose he is probably right but I just don't feel emotionally ready to deal with it again. I can't even picture going into the clinic again at the moment or being on the 2ww again. Is this normal?
Are most people just ready to go onto the next treatment right away?
Thanks again to all of you. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this whole thing without you.
Staci
o poor you having the pressure- you JUST dont need it do you. For what its worth I really think waiting a few months will do you good. it takes a bit for you body to get back to normal and I'm sure that would give you a better chance of it working next time. September/ October isnt that far away. Cant you persuade your DH that you need a holiday (say in August) before you strt again)?
Good luck with everything!
Cazxx
Good luck with everything!
Cazxx
Hi Staci - just wanted to add my condolences - been on a work trip and only just got access to internet. I'm so sorry - you've been there through it all for me so i was keeping tabs on you - seems like you are picking yourself up a bit after the inevitable crash - you'll be OK. You just have to look at all these other marvellous, amazing women to know you also have the strength to get through - although i know what it is to feel like you don't. we've arranged to take a holiday - we are putting off treatment for a month to do so. I never thought i would be putting off tmt for anything, i thought i would start straght away again - but then i realised there are other things in life, and i did want to do some of them - like going on a hoiday. i guess that is good to realise. DH has been really supportive, i'm lucky. good luck, maybe we'll cycle again together next time!
jaye
jaye
Staci
It is perfectly normal the way you are feeling and you must be allowed to grieve for you loss and it is just as valid as any loss - I noticed you comparing your loss with Dagny's. She and I are the first to say we had enormous losses but your loss is your loss if that makes sense and it is the one you must deal with and come to terms with - it is not any less a loss - this is not making any sense probably to anyone but me and Dagny who unfortunately for her seems to be wired the same way as me
As for rushing the next tmt - I can understand why he wants to do so but you must only do it when you are ready mentally - the physical side will be fine. TAke some time out Staci and don;t decide now - it's all too soon and too raw. You will find in time - that is your time when AF has kicked in and hormones are back to normal again you will find the answer - until then dont even worry or think about when.
Love
Tracey
xxx
It is perfectly normal the way you are feeling and you must be allowed to grieve for you loss and it is just as valid as any loss - I noticed you comparing your loss with Dagny's. She and I are the first to say we had enormous losses but your loss is your loss if that makes sense and it is the one you must deal with and come to terms with - it is not any less a loss - this is not making any sense probably to anyone but me and Dagny who unfortunately for her seems to be wired the same way as me
As for rushing the next tmt - I can understand why he wants to do so but you must only do it when you are ready mentally - the physical side will be fine. TAke some time out Staci and don;t decide now - it's all too soon and too raw. You will find in time - that is your time when AF has kicked in and hormones are back to normal again you will find the answer - until then dont even worry or think about when.
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Jaye,
Glad to see you are still around. I think that your taking a month off and going on a holiday sounds like a very good idea. I'd love to do the same but DH can never get away from work so I just plan to tag along with him on a few business trips....sort of like a holiday (for me anyway, but not him)!
Maybe we will be doing another cycle together once we are both refreshed...hopefully a luckier one for the both of us!
Staci
Glad to see you are still around. I think that your taking a month off and going on a holiday sounds like a very good idea. I'd love to do the same but DH can never get away from work so I just plan to tag along with him on a few business trips....sort of like a holiday (for me anyway, but not him)!
Maybe we will be doing another cycle together once we are both refreshed...hopefully a luckier one for the both of us!
Staci