Do you feel like everyone is getting pregnant except you?

[nictor]

Hi Ladies,how are you all?

Meg..its stupid of me to say try not to worry.I always thought if i got a BFP,things would just fall into place and i'd stop being so stressed...Well how wrong was I? I think its because of what we go through to get pg,then we know at basically the earliest we can,all i'll say is truthfully for me its getting easier,im 12 weeks on Friday and im hoping i'll relax a little more.My DP has been great,cos ive been a basket case,every little twinge has me having heart failure,if i dont feel sick or get sore boobs,im wondering if everythings ok..Everything your feeling is completely natural,so just go with it and when your stresed or feeling a wee bit apprehensive,i always tell myself,chin up,this cant be good for the baby..

Sass..My FET was a 2day transfer,so mine got thawed the morning of transfer..Im keeping everything crossed for you that your embies are strong and stick around for the long 9month journey ahead..

Patie..How bloody insensitive is that "friend" of yours..Dont these people realise what we go through!!

Fee,Angie,I hope t5his finds you both well..

Love Nicola..xx

[FionaA]

Welcome to the rant room Nicola! Good to have you here! I'm very well thanks Hope after week 12 you can breath a bit easier, I think parenthood is one bit worry-a-thon is it not? This is just the start!!! Fee

[vicky77]

Hello there....

Meg, I totally understand your being freaked out, I would also be. As Nicola said, we all think that since our ultimate goal is getting PG, once we acheive it the everything will be perfect, and we will be so relaxed......well let me have a big laugh at that thought ..........so far from true, once we get PG we are even more nervous than before, and I think is very normal, since, as I said, is everything we ever wanted, we are soo darn scared of losing it. So, basically, I am trying to tell you not to worry for being scared, it is very normal, and we don't think that you are not grateful of being PG because you are scared we think you are normal ......., GOOD LUCK ON FRIDAY!!!

Sassy, ooooooo that wait is coming for me too, it is a scary ride the thawing thing, and I only have 4 , but hang in there, only a couple more days left. If anything, do you think they can do a 3 day transfer instead of a 5 day one????. Will be thinking about you and your little embies.........(and the embiesitter )

Patie, OMG, I just couldn't believe my eyes when I was reading your post, that freacking beoach (sorry if too polite ), how can people be so insensitive, she definitely deserves the first "punter award" (did I say it right?? hehe).

What happened with the musical??, our writers are taking vacations apparently ..............I miss it, did I miss the season finale maybe???

[meg12]

Thanks Nicola and Vicky--I'm having a better time of it today. What will be, will be and not much I can do about it, right, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can (that's what I'm telling myself, anyway!)

I'm missing the musical a bit, too. I'm also getting pretty excited for you guys--there are so many transfers coming up! It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks!

[Angie65]

How funny - I missed the "how to speak Aussie lessons"!

Sassy - did you know you when you are driving down the road and you realise you are going in the wrong direction, you can also
"chuck a U-ie " too!

Well I enjoyed chucking a sickie yesterday and I'm all signed up for acu. I'm trusting my instinct, women's intuition and all that. It is mentioned too many times to ignore. Plus have read alot about this woman - she's specialises in women' s infertility. Fee - apart from the relaxation, it's all about stimulating the blood flow to the right part of the body . I am a bit of a cynic to be honest, but it's $50 a session and I'll get about $15 or 20 back I think from the insurance so it's affordable. What swung it is she's 10 mins drive from my house so very convenient. I have heard someone who is driving half way across the city to see her. So we will see - will keep you posted!

HI to the other ladies - Vicky -

[Angie65]

oops - pressed wrong button - Vicky - we got distracted with the musical writing as our no.1 script writer got a bit distracted at the w/e!!! She might not have so much creative material in the future so we always welcome new writers!

May be my acu sessions will provide some entertainment!

[sassynlv]

Ahh girls..

nictor: good to see you back here. ooooo, 12 wks on fri... congrats!!! what an important milestone.

Angie: oooo, yeah, i learned all sorts of important things while you were gone... I am thinking "punter" is one that i will work into my daily vocab. What other things besides sickies and u-ies do you guys "chuck" down there???

all right... so i am keeping myself relatively in check, but just barely. I am saving whatever positivity i can muster for my post on cycling thread (I can't be responsible for what i do if someone tells me just to be positive and this will all work out... or tells me again not to let my past experiences affect how i feel about this cycle) , so i am bringing to you guys my unvarnished fear and anxiety tonight (oooo, aren't you all lucky? ).

RE called w/report (day 3). So 8 survived the thaw, and 7 continued to grow overnight. But at this point we only have one 8-cell (grade A ). 2 5-cell, 2 4-cell and 2 3-cell. RE says there is a possiblity they are up to 12 hrs younger than we think, depending on the time of day they were frozen (i.e., if they were frozen @ 8am vs. 5pm... meaning then that the 5-cells may be perfectly nl). I am thinking he is just trying to give me a little hope... Tomorrow will be the test, as we will see if any of the 4 or 5 cells continued to grow, and if so, then there is still some hope for them. but ooooo, ladies, just have this sinking feeling in my gut. Was hoping for more than one 8-cell at this point. We know that most of ours are chromosomally abnl, and so it is probably a good thing to let them "drop out" as it were, and transfer only the ones most likely to be normal... Oh, i know i am rambling and you are dears for reading my crazy anxiety-rant, for those who made it this far. Just need some listening ears as i get through these difficult days. My biggest fear is that ONE MORE TIME, i will not have any good quality embryos. In order to keep my stress in check, i am telling myself that even if the worst-case scenario occurs, i will survive to cycle again. won't i? blah, blah, blah

Hoping all is well with you guys! (as you can tell, SOO not funny today.. but as someone pointed out, i am rapidly approaching my appt with the revolving table and soccer stadium lights... this could be good fodder for the musical )

[FionaA]

Hi Sass

Dont' really know what to say, the wait is a killer and all we can do is just hope for the best. This process absolutely sucks as far as I am concerned. On the up side it sounds like so far you have a pretty decent survival rate which I think is a telling factor in terms of embryo health is it not???

I've just had a call from my clinic (just had my bloods from Day 9 of low dose stims) apparently I am having a longer cycle than usual (my hormones are still at baseline) and have to keep going with the stims and have another blood test on Monday. Damnit, I was expecting to have a scan tomorrow. Now I'm worried that the drugs aren't working and that something else will go wrong. I really hate this some times.

Fee

[Angie65]

Sassy - this wait must be horrible - god - I didn't realise you had to endure this with your FET - this and the 2ww.

I can't add anything helpful really - my place steers clear of giving us grades and just thaws and transfers after 2 days, so doesn't give them chance to grow more. Hence no waiting on a knife edge for a progress report. Just try and do something nice to take your mind of things. Wd say have a few drinks to help you sleep but you can't do that either !

Although there was recently a girl in Brisbane (Xrayem) who was offered a brandy by the clinic! (standard practice) after her ET and is now PG with twins! Classic.

Fee - may be you and i should go there - may help us relax -actually you may be in Qld for all I know!

Off on a date with DH to see Volver (why do I keep thinking it's something to do with women's bits ) - must have the female anatomy on my mind!

[FionaA]

Hey Ang I think I read about the girl with the brandy, now you're talking! We don't even get valium at ET. My clinic has never given me a grade on my blasts, no damn idea whatsoever. Volver....I can't blame you for the genital association, it's just a couple of letters off....

My sister just emailed me and told me that her mate was on prolonged cycles sometimes so I've calmed down somewhat. Would it kill the clinic to explain it to me???? I don't know, they call with news and I never think of questions until after hanging up and then I don't want to call back....

Sass, when do you get the next progress report??? I'm transferring my anxiety and will worry about you instead of myself. It think it will a refreshing change for me to stop being selfish!

Just referring to your question about what else we chuck besides u-ies and sickies. Well some of the more uncouth among us chuck brown eyes...would you like to explain Ang??

Fee

[sassynlv]

As for the valium for ET... i, too, feel jipped! I want valium!!!

Angie: oooo, volver, huh? (btw, maybe we are all WAY too preoccupied w/female genitalia.. but i had the same association...), will be anxious to hear if you like it.

Fee: wish i had some input for you... know nothing' about stimming for FET so i am no help at all. glad to hear that your sisters friend had the same thing, so it may not be uncommon. As for questions for the clinic. hearing you on that one. I do the same thing. I get off and dh asks me all sorts of reasonable questions that i don't think of until after hung up already! I feel like an idiot sometimes!

Thanks for your support girls. I know no one can make this better, but helps just to know others are there for you when the wait is rough. Will get next (and most telling) report tomorrow evening. I will be cleaning the house tomorrow (no heavy housework after ET ), and getting my hair done (oooo, i guess that goes back to having my hair look for for ET appt, heeheehee!). So hoping by keeping busy, tomorrow will fly.

As for the next "aussieism"... i can be uncouth!! Do tell! Chucking brown eyes... don't have much of a guess on that one...

Goodnight to all!

[nictor]

Hey Sass...how are you?

I think the wait to see if our embies survive the big thaw is worse than the 2ww,at least in the 2ww we have the knowledge that theres a possibility we could be pg,with the thaw we need them to thaw nicely so we can have that chance to at least try and get pg..I cant say dont stress cause under the circumstances that would be bloody useless!! Just try and take your mind off it and if you can keep busy..You seem to be like me,my motto is if in doubt CLEAN,and if im worried or stressed i do it all the time,the only time this didnt apply was after all my BFN's when for the 1st week my house coulda went to rack and ruin and i wouldnt have cared..Just take it easy my friend(and with no false sweetness,i promise!!)I really hopeyou get a good DR report this evening.Just know we are here for you,when you need us.

Meg..you're right,try and take it a day at a time,and ENJOY..

Fee,Ang,Vicky..i hope this finds you all well..

Take care..nicola..xx

[meg12]

Geez, I wish I cleaned when I'm stressed. I'm so the opposite--my house is a complete disgrace right now! Luckily my family is coming to visit next weekend (my little brother is turning 21 so it's going to be quite the party!) and so that will make me get off my butt and clean.

Sassy--The waiting f'ing sucks! I'm praying for your embies..if they're anything like you, they must be fighters! I won't send you any platitudes, because I don't want to be the one to send you on your next rant (I like to read them, but don't want to cause them!!!!!!)

Fee--Once again, more waiting. And poor you, more shots! Grrr. I'm praying for your little ovaries to get going as well!!!! And I'm the absolute same way with the RE--never remember to ask anything important and there's no way I'm calling back. However, unlike Sassy, when my dh asks me a question that I don't know the answer to, I just make something up. I don't like feeling stupid, so I just lie instead! Horrible, I know! But usually it's pretty harmless. Man, that's a little embarrasing to admit.

Okay, I'm intrigued! Chucking brown eyes? I've got some horrible things going through my head right now. Do tell!

[mom20]

hi everyone thanks for the welcome my pc has been down due to the snow yesterday just trying to catch up will post more personal later
mom20

[sassynlv]

I am afraid that I have made it so you guys worry about how I may react to your supportive comments, and if that is true, I apologize . Please let me explain…

I bring my true fears and frustrations here, because I trust you all, and know that what you say is from your hearts, and for that I am truly grateful. Therefore I wouldn’t perceive what you write as superficial or patronizing… because we have a relationship--some sort of an understanding (does that make sense?). It is the “masses” that I am more concerned with… I have been seeing it on the forum, (and much worse, in person last night)… and it makes me wonder (and I find it painful) when I (or others for that matter) am told everything will be ok if i just think more positively… or that by taking into account my previous experiences I am jeopardizing my cycle. So, does that mean if I think more positively, the embryos that have stopped growing will magically jump start, and if I don’t, then it is my fault that they don’t grow? Does that mean that if I had thought more positively my first 2 cycles, I would be preg (grrr … I was VERY positive on my first 2 cycles and they were sh@t... So what does that mean… wasn’t positive enough?) Oh, so that was why I didn’t get preg!!!! It is my fault after all! (oooo, i think this qualifies as a rant, meg... and no, you were definitely not the cause of it! This is the rant i had bottled up in me yest--throw in the hormones, and it is one big exposion!)

I am just so sad, and so scared. I am crying while I write this (thus, my anger is actually sadness and fear turned outward… I guess years of therapy weren’t totally in vain ), so please guys, forgive me, I don't know what i would do without you gals. I was just so upset last night, and I feel so comfortable here, and it came out that way. I have been very positive about my FET lately… even excited and thinking about being preg. But yest felt like a blow. I know that i haven't always acted like it, but i have put alot of hope into this cycle as everything just seemed much better than before... and now it isn't looking as good as i imagined (BIG understatement!). I am hoping that today will bring me much better news, and this upset and worry (at least about this stage!) will be a thing of the past. Either way, I am getting’ a beotchin’ amount of housework done… oooo, and a good color, shampoo, cut and style coming up this afternoon (Fee, got any blue stilettos I can borrow for tomorrow?)

Thanks again for all your support!