Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hey Pups!

Well, it looks as though me and spankys are back at the exact right time....

Firstly- my fabu friend Jens..... oh cookie, have no fear! you must get your fighting gear on. you want mommyhood and so you shall have it! you will do whatever it takes and the journey will be worth it and quickly forgotten when you are holding little babes. Keep doing your research, but try to look at it as a start to the end, not same old fight. New step, not repeating ones. You are on your way luv schmuffin! this entire group of gangstas is on their way.. we will start with loops.. but everyone will get there!

Now to the Loopy- Hi bunny! welcome to BFP "worry all day" land. Sorry to say that this worry and disbelief will continue for the next 9 months.. but, tis true and I will not lie to my girl! It is almost a self preservation thing, not to get too excited. (especially with our miscarriages) I wished for cloud nine the entire pregnancy and never got there. It was only when I saw babygirl that I believed it was happening. Of course, there will be lots of fun to come.... first scan, the 20 week "what flavor are we having" scan, and so on to the nursery.... but it is my advice to take it one step at a time and celebrate all victories along the way. Because it is happening and it is wonderful! You are getting your miracle right now!!!!!!! I believe it enough for the both of us. Demetrio has now gotten his own pair of spankys, complete with neon and jams..... we are quite the performing duo..... we're going old school with the Bangles "Walk Like an Egyptian" right now.....

Walshy!!!!!! yahoo, i likey to hear from you! How dare you take away your luv machine! I think I like the sound of you jumping on the Jen train and kicking a little ivf boo-tay.... If you do it, you know you have the support of the fabulous Tuber Sisters. Ya-YA! Work is crap.. but you do what you must... my only other option is to find a sugar daddy to pay all our bills..... either that or claim to be the father of Anna Nicoles baby! I did give up the lake part of my job, which means alot less travel this summer, which will be nice! I will work on the pictures....

Littles- missin you as always... give us a little taste of Little world.....

Camilla- never any news of you... how old is babes? I can't believe that Faith is 3 1/2 months already.. little fiesy, fiesty too.. wonder where she gets that from? She thinks she is 6 months old and tries to sit up on her own, never stays where I put her and is total manipulator to gets what she wants... gotta luv it!

Toodles noodles
steph

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Had my appointment on Thursday 12th with my Doc for our follow up app. Didnt give me any news i didnt know, just said my egg numbers are very low and not much options now. Booked in for some counselling.

I had a terrible evening yesterday and was very tearful and snappy with dh---just not like us. After a terrible night i then had work today but thankfully the kids were fine and shock, horror the one who gave me abuse last week even apologised

We have an appointment with my GP on Thursday (she is lovely) but had a chat on the phone and she has offered to do all my tests for the clinic free, so will just have to pay for scans. I have to wait until af arrives then get them done------aarrrrrhhhhhhhh will have to wait another 2-3 weeks. This is the first time i want it to appear.

Am confused, angry, upset and fed up. Just seems that him upstairs doesnt like us very much

Thinking of you all, will type more when i feel stronger.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hi guys

Just another short one today - I'm at my in-laws.

Jen - I'm sorry you feel so sad, completely understand though. Its been a hard few years for you my love. Glad your GP is being helpful. I know you feel like crap now but once you're on the road again and there's some forward motion you'll start to feel better. In the meantime, sex, alcohol and chocolate for our Jen! She needs a boost! xxxxxx

Steph - you are not wrong! I can't believe how nervous I feel, this is def much much worse than the 2ww. I'm in a state of high anxiety, terrified something bad will happen. Zen zen zen, pan pipe breathes man alive!

How are my other faves?

Its so sunny here, been out driving in our dinky little old fiat. I'm barely keeping it together, a rain of ass fell into my work life on friday - very stressful, VERY. And i'm not coping well with this wait, every symptom I feel or then don't feel signals danger and despair, I need to chill out dudes. Still seems utterly unreal AARRGGHHH, get a grip lola dumbass.

Strength and power to my lovely octoberries
love
Lola
xxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Loops - Sent you an email, did you get it?
Can understand the nerves, must be like 2 ww all over again and again and again---hell. All will be fine, just try to chill and chat with us to take your mind off things.

Littles - Brilliant you had a chat with my mum, cant wait to get the info when she gets home. Sure we have msn, will check out with dh. Hope your feeling a little stronger today and enjoying the sun. Not long until dh is home

Steph - How is gorgeous Faith, thanks for the email and keeping me strong with good advice.

Walshy - Dont know where you are hiding but thinking of you.

Just back from work, can you believe it, brilliant sunny weekend and i had to work. Just dont feel up to it at the moment, cant get motivated and have put on weight through these ivf's, feel crap. So Jemla is changing as of tomorrow, low fat meal and will start my running first thing. I always have to battle with my weight, it sucks

Away to sit in the garden, dh is golfing but will be back for tea and a nice hug to try and keep me cheerful

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Mornin Sunshines on my shoulder!

How the Tubes today? I am starting to think that spring will never sprung. It is still in the 40's here.. is supposed to be in the 60's for like the last month, but winter is hanging on.... witchy woman Mother Nature. Today we also have the added blessing of 50mph winds.... yahoo! Hold onto your skirts! either that or pull a Marilyn Monroe.. oops, my skirt is flying up don't I look sexy....

Speakin of Sexy... Jens! I am with you on the diet wagon.... I got a glimpse of myself in mirror yesterday.. yikes! I need to get the weight off... that plus extra, extra from before baby. I was doing great with eating and exercising until I came back to work. Now that I am back at work full time... who has the time? I do terrible with eating when I am not exercising. Exercise gives me the motivation I need to be healthy. Have been racking my brain for ways to get to the gym. I already get up at 5am to get ready for work, so getting up any earlier is not an option. I could go at 9p, but I am soooooo sleepy by that point, all I want is my bed. I think I may check into a gym right here at work and go during my lunch hour. But, then there is the problem of being sweaty and putting on my work clothes.. and I am a sweater.. not like a wool sweater, but like "I sweat alot" sweater. Any ideas? anyone?

Loops- I would say try not to worry.. but that is pure hooey. You will worry. But I will tell you this.. when I saw my babes I looked back on my pregnancy and thought all that worry was for nothing.. I should have enjoyed it more. So, take my "do what I say and not what I do" advice and try to enjoy each moment of this gift you have been given. It will be lovely! Babes will be lovely! Have fun with it... besides worrying does not change anything.. it just makes you stressed and it is for nothing. If all else fails ignore it. I think you and I are both very good at "push it under the rug" syndrome... concentate on work, read books, watch cheesy television.... If you remember correctly I crocheted a blanket... a very big blanket! But it gave me something to do when my mind was movin at crazy speeds. ... Demmy and I have now moved on to "I'm just a luv machine, and I won't work for nobody but me".... very flashy with spankys!

Boogy oogy
steph

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Steph - No i can never understand people who go to the gym or swimming in their lunch hour. 1, i dont get a luch hour and 2, i am way to sweaty for that plus 3, i would need to do my hair all over again
Dont you have gyms where you can have Faith ilooked after as you work out?

Littles - Hows you, been doing anymore sunbathing? Is dh coming back soon?

Loops - How you doing? Are you feeling ok? What should your levels be?

Walshy - How you doing babe? Hope your counselling is going ok.

Have a GP app on Thursday to organise all my tests again, as they have just ran out. Then we wait for all the paperwork to come through from the hospital then hopefully by the end of May we can be heading to you know where. Bit scary and exciting i suppose.
Still feeling so sad but at least i have something to focus on.

Anyway am off to chill, had a hectic day.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hola sexy ladies

Steph I can't believe its crappy and cold where you are - its amazing here in London, summer has come early, which probably means that winter will arrive in July or something. So its back to gym eh - you're going to have go part-time so you can be one of those leisurely girls, swanning about with pilates mat under arm and skinny 'chino in the other looking stick thin. Hey, how is your friend getting on in London? PS I think you and Demmy should lay down some tracks and get a video together - love machine.... I see it all in my head....despite the fact you never did send photo missie....

Jemla - so your mum spoke to Littles!? Thats pretty cool. So you have GP thursday? Forward..... MARCH!!! I know you are still dealing with big stuff after the last cycle, please go and see a counsellor. You need to work through all the mixed emotions you must be having. I mean, don't get me wrong, sex and chocolate will help but it would be healthy to talk things through and get things straight in your head. Its just as sunny in Scotlandia? Hope you have high factors on girlfriend.

Littles and walshy - any news? Camilla??

Well I am about 0.003% less frantic than I was at the weekend. Still constantly knicker and boob checking. Jen - my clinic ony do one set of levels so I don't know how things are going in Chez Uterus. Still getting period-type pain but I'm told thats normal. Started feeling sick over the last few days - nerves not morning sickness I expect. Can't beleive my scan is still 6 days away!!! How can time go so slowly now!!!! How????
Am trying to keep busy by house hunting, seen a few we like but man! Muy expensivo. Ah well, have to bite the bullet some time I guess.

OK my sweet girls, I'm off to feel my boobs again
Love like a caffeine tweeking moron
Lola
xxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi Loops

Finally you appear, far to busy boob feeling eh

Great sign the sickness, means everything is just fine. Try to chill, i know it must be hard given your last bfp but PMA remember.

The sun has been fab but over the last day or 2 its getting a bit chilly again. We never get it as good as the Big Smoke.

Yep the Docs tomorrow to plan all my tests and we are starting counselling at the end of the month. Can you believe it, we get a bfp and shocking news and they tell you we cant get a counselling app for about a month---crazy.

Anyway all systems are go for S and they have been great at answering my emails with all the questions. Looking into maybe first app on 15th May??? They said it all takes 5-7 weeks after 1st app---yippee.

Yep mum was in Dubai and Littles had a chat with her. They were going to meet up but ran out of time, my mum is mad about this now as they had lots to chat about. Think it helps mum to know you guys are all here for me and i'm getting good support and advice. She is still a bit concerned about S and wonders how this can work as the other cycles havent but suppose they will never fully understand all this ivf lark. There is also no guarentee it will work but i have a much greater chance, so will wait and see. She has also agreed to help us for the first round , not sure if i have to pay it back though, i keep offering but no reply yet.

Hope everyone else is ok, thinking of you all

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Hi girlies

Just a quick one.

Went to the GP today and she has agreed to do all the tests for free----she's a star. Will also talk to my consultant at the hosp and see if we can get out of paying for the scans, but think we might have to stump up for this one---can't win them all eh
Anyway things are moving along and all we need now is AF to come. Typical, we usually want it to stay away and now we want it here
If we can get the paperwork in order fast then we can have our app on the 15th May in S. Bit scary and exciting.

Hope your all ok and Loops, pop in and let us know your fine.

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hey Bananas!

Seems as though Loops and Jens are Hanging Tough NKOTB style...
oh, gotta luv the 80's....

Loops- Hello Pot, this is Kettle.... getting on my crap about pictures.. have yet to see picture of Loopy Lady! ...... am glad you are slightly more relaxed... but will tell you to stop feeling boobies at once! (unless for pleasure purposes) it means nothing and you will only panic if they hurt and panic if they don't hurt! vicious cycle I tell ya. My boobs didn't hurt the entire pregnancy. My first sign (that I didn't even know was a sign) was excess drooling. Who knew slobbering like a baby was a symptom of pregnancy. My friend is getting along good. She is adjusting to driving on the wrong side of the road, on the wrong side of the car and shifting with the wrong hand (although she has never driven stick before)... what's the deal with that.. where's the automatic? Also, she had to pack peanut butter, microwave popcorn and ziploc bags, which apparently you don't have and is very important to her. Other than that they are adjusting well... although, every time they get in the car her 2 year old asks if they are going home now. Finally she told her 2 year old... havn't you noticed we are in a different country!".... nevermind that the 2 year old doesn't even know what a country is. I guess she just had to get it off her chest. Demetrio and I are now in the slow groove of Barry Whites Can't get Enough of Your Love.... Spankies are now silvery shiny like disco balls...

Jens- I think talking it all out is fab-u idea. I am also glad to hear that you can get started so quickly. Why wait for wonderful BFP.... Maybe if you join Demetrio and I in Celebratory Spanky Pant Dance it will bring on the floods and you can start tests. Plus, good news that moms is on board. Nobody luvs you like your mom. Can you please share the sun with me.. although i heard a rumor that we are supposed to see it tommorrow! I can't wait to start hiking! Hoo-RAH!

Littles, Walshy and Camilla..... why make me beg for you love?

Winks
steph

[camilla]

Hello this will be v quick.

Have read your posts but seriously don't have time to reply. Just want to say am still here. Jen - good news re appts. Keep your pecker up.

Lola - scan date? You're going to love your pregnant boobs and so is your DH!

love camilla xxxxx

[lolajones]

Hello octoberoos

Its the weekend - wooo hooo!!!!

Jemla - the 15th is soon! Is it a face to face appt or a telephone consult? I can't belive how quickly all this has been sorted out - its fantastic! Glad you are going to do the couselling thing - really will help. So you're working this weekend? Man, ass, its so sunny again. Still haven't got legs out though - pale and hairy not the look I want to parade to the chic folk about town.

Steph - indeed pot kettle, la la la. I suppose at least you did post Faith pictures. Glad your friend is settling in, we do have those things here too y'know! I'm lovin the slow groove but hope that you can turn it up a hot notch for Tuesday with some funk and spank pant wiggles.

Camilla - my scan is on Tuesday morning - bring on the boobs!!!

Well, I am still a frantic panicking mess but y'know, sometimes you just have to embrace these things, right? My name is Lola and I'm a Hysterical Worried bag o Nerves. After a complete disappearance of symptoms (which were probably not preg symptoms but psychosomatic delusions) I was preparing myself for the worst. However, after considering The Tao of Steph, have now decided to Think Positive and believe in the facts.
Fact 1 - whatever happens at scan on Tues I am pregnant now
Fact 2 - there is no fact 2 except I suppose the universal fact that Benecio Del Toro is a god amongst men.

To this end I have changed my ticker from a cautious "waiting for my next scan" into I'm bloody pregnant! Carpe Diem!

Thank you for putting up with my psychotic ramblings. I will be sane by Tuesday afternoon. Promise.

Right, I'm off house hunting and stealth boob fondling - PMA!!!!

Love like a frenzied she-wolf
Lola
xxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Just got back from a sleepover at work and am exhausted. Been up so early as my keychild has been missing overnight again, think he is heading to a secure unit Getting a complex as most of my kids head there.

I got info from S yesterday. We can have the appointment of the 15th May, so have provisionally book it, just need my af to arrive and get all my notes together. We really want af to come quickly (thats a first eh) so we can do my blood tests. Would be my luck that it doesnt come and we have to pospone everything. Anyway thinking positive today.

Loops - You will be fine, chill and work towards the house. Also to take your mind off things send your photo to us all---------its WELL overdue.

Steph - Your not getting off lightly either-----photo NOW

Please send the sun via Scotland, its gone all cold again

Love as always

Jen x

[lolajones]

Hi guys

Just a quick update, I've had a bit of bleeding and so I'm having my scan today instead of tomorrow.
I really really hope everything works out ok but have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it will be bad news.
Sorry to be miserable. Will check in later to let you know how it went.

PMA vacuum - Lola
xxxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Loops..... am sending all positives your way!!!
please remember that I had my period 4 weeks into my pregnancy and now have beautiful babes!

post as soon as you get back from scan!! am thinking of you...

steph