AUG/SEPT BUDDIES!

[Renee Del Ponte]

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[stefanie]

I think that fact about miscarriages and due dates might be right for younger women, and/or women without fertility issues.

I know for myself I would have been due in January and I did not get pregnant until late August/Sept.

I think it is great to be hopeful, and I am hopeful and confident that Valerie and her situation are not to be written off. She isn't 40, she produced healthy blasts and and there is no reason that she couldn't try again if she decides to.

For most of us it takes 2 or 3 tries, but I would let go of times deadlines, because that is something we don't necessarily have control over. Especially when we have fertility issues.

Everytime I thought "I would have a 2 month old by now" or something like that, I would feel left behind and upset. It's just a way to push on the bruise and make it all hurt more.

I had to believe it would happen, but I had to accept that the rules that others go by do not necessarily work for me. But once I accepted that path, and slowly walked it, I began to let go and heal.

I believe you will get pregnant again Valerie. I don't know when but your good health, and your positive loving heart will help you get there faster.

again. wishing you all the best.

stefanie

[valerie68]

Thank you all so much for your sweet words! I went to bed and slept as my head was hurting so bad. I am doing ok....one of the worst part is telling family and friends that we lost the baby, that just tears me apart. DH has helped in that department so much. I have to write to my parents as I can't begin to talk on the phone. They will be so sad. When I do this again, I won't tell anybody anymore.

Stefanie~ You are an inspiration to me as well and seeing you with twins now gives me lots of hope. I know I can do this again and go to term next time. I just hope I can get pregnant a third time in a row as money is an issue. We pay all out of pocket and these days, that's not easy.

It all happened for a reason and if the baby is not healthy, it is unfortunately for the best. I keep crying as it will help me heal.

Toobee~ I will be part of the thread still, just not a full participant. Yo can contact me anytime you want and I will too.

Stacy and Renee~ Thanks for the encouraging words. One of my best friend told me a couple weeks ago that I will be able to handle whatever situation is given to me as I'm strong. I hope he's right. But I know you girls are giving strength and lots of hope. I'm so glad you're all here. And I'm sorry to have to write such posts for the moment as I don't want to put a damper on anything or make you afraid for your own situations. But this is all part of life and we will all make it through somehow.

Thank you again...love you all!

Val[/b]

[stefanie]

Val -

We paid out of pocket as well. for all the IUIs and for the IVFs as well. Somehow, we managed. I don't know how.

One thing I did in between cycles was follow an amazing anti-inflammatory diet and exercised to get blood going to the ovaries and area, to get egg quality better. I am happy to talk to you about any of that if you are interested. I don't know if it is why I got pregnant, but I know it didn't hurt.

My first miscarriage turned out to be downs (something they were able to tell because I did a D & C) and when I recently went back for genetic counseling, they said the chance of two downs babies was small. Yes, at our age there are issues with eggs, but we can take steps to heal the body. They say t takes three months and if you want to try any of that stuff, when you are ready I am happy to tell you what I learned. Knowing this was my big year to try - I went all out and became uber healthy. I actually learned a lot, and will keep doing a lot of this stuff long after fertility and pregnancy.

blah blah blah - i'm rambling. I'm just sad.

I found telling hard too. I hadn't told many people, and I just sent and email to a group and said that they were part of a small group that I had told, and I wanted to let them know what happened to avoid any embarrassing public conversations. I told them I was fine and they needn't feel obligated to call or anything, but that I just wanted them to know. My closest peeps, of course, I had called.

thinking of you. day and night.
stef

[Kas101]

Val So sorry my darling. I officialy 'left' the board when i got my BFN but i have been checking up on you, toobee and turtles watching your progress as a 'ghost' and was so happy for you. SO sorry my heart aches for you

I know you are a strong determined woman with a heart of gold and i pray you will be strong and get through this, ready to try again with that fantastic positive attitude we have all grown to love and admire,

My thoughts are with you and my heart goes out to you ((((((hugs)))))

[JDC]

Val I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm seriously in tears because I can't believe this has happened to us both. I know that I cannot say anything to make you feel better right now, so I won't. I just want you to know I am thinking of you during this time and I will be waiting to see your posts when you are feeling better.

Much love to you and DH

Jill

[SueQiwi]

Val~My heart is broken for you! I am so sorry. I feel like there must be something wrong with the universe for this to happen to a person like you. I truly believe you are destined for Motherhood--please do not give up. But do let yourself cry for now--this has been a horrible bump in the road. I am shedding tears for you too.

[valerie68]

Kas~ Thank you for your post!! It means a lot to me what you said. I've been the ghost on your thread and it seems that you have strong PMA too. You will be a mommy real soon. I'll keep checking on you and can't wait to see your BFP. Hugs.

JDC~ We're both back to square one. Thank you for writing your sweet message.I wish one of us would have made it. Next time we both will. I'm glad you're back on the train and will be checking on you as well. Best of luck. I read you have a very good FSH, that's really great news and I hope you will get extra follies this time. Hugs to you.

SueQiwi~ Thank you as well. Not the kind of story we want to hear when we're in our 2ww. Don't you worry, you will be just fine. I know you will close our thread with a beautiful BFP. This thread rocks for poor responder and you will make it rock one more time.

Thank you all again, you make me cry because I feel your caring hearts and so it makes me feel good as well.

Hugs,

Val

[Much Hope]

Valerie, I am so sorry for such a loss. Everytime I thought about you and that lil bean I would smile. I felt from just reading how sweet and sincere you are that you deserved so to be blessed with this gift. I truly feel that there is a big plan for each of us and I know that someone so loving and dear deserves to be a mommy and it will happen for you. I will continue to keep you close to my heart and in each and every prayer I pray.

If you need to talk, let me know I am here for you. after all there is know-one that understands how hard this is more then your fellow IVF sisters.

All my love
Elida

[turtlesonastump]

val- My heart broke too when I read your news. I am soooo sorry. I know there is nothing I can say to make it any easier for you. Just know we are all here for you. You have been such an inspiration and cheerleader for us all. Have a big glass of wine tonight and take the time to recover. I am pulling for you your next round. Third time has got to be it for you. Big hugs to you and your DH.

stefanie- Wow, what a horrible ER experience. I can't believe how inconsiderate people are. I am glad things are getting a little better for you. Rest up.

toobee- My thoughts are with you through your ordeal. I hope everything goes smoothly for you. Take care.

SueQiwi- I had AF type cramping for the first few weeks after ER. Sounds like a good sign. When is your beta again?

kerpupples - Glad your u/s went well.

Well, I went to a regular ob today. No u/s as I had one last week. Just a pap smear and regular exam. I go back in a few weeks. Zofran doesn't seem to do too much for me. I have thrown in yesterday and today. Seems like whatever I eat for breakfast comes back up.

[JDC]

Val I've been thinking about you and your heartbreak so much. Even though we've never met, you have helped me through the really tough times of ivf. It is so true what everyone has said...you are such a caring and generous person. Those qualities will make you such a beautiful mother and I believe in my heart that it will happen for you one way or another. Keeping you in my prayers.

Jill

[Towachi]

Val:

If I quite remember correctly, you were the one that first gave me hope in this tread, then Stefinie that a low responder can actually have hope. I have prayed so hard that your miracle will bring hope for others in your shoes and now this? Anyhow, let me first tell you what Peter said to the Gentiles, though you might be faced with the worst and painful trials, be courages and endure to the end that you might see the glory of God revealed in your situation. This did not happen in vacum, God is able to give you a perfect end next time. I am praying for you and hope that you will not question God as he knows the best for you and I. I see a lot of love poured out for you here and I know that we are all in this together.

Lots of love

[valerie68]

I am deeply touched by all your kind words that you all have been writing. It means so much to me that you are all here.

To all our girls that are or will be going through treatment, don't let this situation of mine put any doubts or fears in your mind. It shows that we can get pregnant and have a chance to succeed!! Always have strong PMA no matter what because in the end, you won't have any regrets that you put your heart and soul into this...that you went all the way and gave it all you had. In that sense, I don't have any regrets. What better way than to have spend these past few weeks with all of you incredible ladies!!!! I could not have done it without you.
I really wish we could all meet one day, I truly mean that. It would be absolutely amazing.

I'll start again when the time is right and not too far down the road as I will turn 40 in 3 weeks.
And I'm not going anywhere because you mean so much to me.

Thank you again! Love you all so very much.

Val

[kerpupples]

Oh Val, I'm so terribly sorry. I'm not sure I can say anything that will be of real condolence right now. Time is honestly the biggest healing factor for something like this.

As far as timing goes, the baby that I miscarried was due Nov. 4th. It's only October, and here I am pregnant again. Of course you need to take the appropriate amount of time to heal but it is possible.

I'm not sure it's an option for you but I used misoprostol to induce my M/C. My doctor said my uterus would be in a better condition for a future pregnancy that way than with a D&C (though keep in mind I have a history of scarring). We were able to collect the miscarried baby (they call it "product of miscarriage", ugh!) to have it tested (no chromosomal abnormalities). It's something to consider if you want to avoid the D&C.

Hugs to you and DH sweetie. Be good to yourself right now.

[Renee Del Ponte]

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