calling all potential April Buddies

[SQUEW]

Hi Everyone

All went well today, at 9am I had 3 grade 1 8 cell embies, and the embryologist said 'they dont come any better than these', so I hope to god they stick around this time! maybe I only got 3 for that reason, guess I will find out in a couple of weeks. Anyway they had 'hatched' two that morning which are now tucked up inside me, and the remaining one is frozen. Drinking my water and have a supply of sainsburys own version of Percy Pigs!
Gem, hope you doing ok, will def be here to keep you company as not due back at work til 28th
Traci...NO CHOCOLATE MARTINIS!!! I could hear you salivating! Boy they sound nice though, you can have a very large one in about 10months time!!!
Dagny, I am so glad you have got the go ahead, you have got a lovely holiday coming up and then June will be just round the corner.
Jaye, hows the party going? How are you feeling?
Caz, think positive, I only got 3 eggs, but they turned out to be good embies, fingers crossed, every stage is a worry and a hurdle to get over.
Staci, glad you had a good anniversary.
Alison- I see from you previous post you had assisted hatch and steroids last time, assume you got a -ve , are they doing the same this time or something different?

Take Care all
Sue xxxxxx

[Traci]

I will celebrate with one with you when we give birth next year .
But I still need to know how they are made

[AMITHIS]

Traci,

I trust you will file this away for use 10 months or so from now. Believe me when I say you're better of not knowing what they taste like before not being able to have them!

Ice
2 fluid ounces chocolate liqueur
1 1/2 fluid ounces vodka
1/2 ounce grated chocolate

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Add the chocolate liqueur and vodka to the shaker. Shake briskly to mix and chill. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with the chocolate.

I prefer using vanilla vodka and a little less chocolate liqueur.

Well, now that I've provided that not so useful information to all of us who can't have any alcohol... Sorry everyone!

Sue,

Glad to hear the et went well! How are you feeling at this point?

It seems like a lot of you are now in the waiting stage. Hoping time goes by fast for all of you. It's got to be torture having to wait to find out.
_______________________________

Caz,

Is your DH having that special surgery they do to extract sperm (hope you don't mind my asking)? I assume you're doing ISCI....they do only need a bare minimum for that, right? I'm hoping since my DH has a severely low count. I find myself getting worried that there won't be enough as well and we'll have gone through this for nothing. Oh well. Have to try to stay positive! It's got to be hard for them. My DH doesn't say too much about it but he has told me he feels terrible that I have to go through this because of him. Of course, I don't look at it like it's his fault. To me, it doesn't matter which one of us is the reason since we're in this together. Just hard to get him to see it that way.
__________________________________________
Gem,

Hope you are resting and feeling well!
________________________________________________

Well, looks like I have rambled on long enough here so will sign off for now.

Staci

[Traci]

Staci
Great recipe I PROMISE I WILL WAIT Thanks

Trace x

[Nickie88]

Hello everyone - hope you haven't forgotten me (I haven't forgotten you all) - have been catching up with all your posts - I'm still plodding along on the pill (ironic isn't it) until 28th April for first scan to start down regging. Hoorah ..............sooooooooooo bored with all the waiting about.

Anyway, good luck to all of you for your 2ww (SQUE - hope the Lister went easy on ya girl).

More like a May Buddy really now but kinda attached to you girlies.

BIG HUGS

Nickie

[Guest]

Hi Girls

Gem/Sue - Glad everything is going well for you guys.......Pos vibes and my thoughts are with you!!

Caz -Follies sound good....keep up the good work and millions of luck for next week!

I got some goodish news today at my scan......follies have not grown massively........that is the ones that were 12 are still 12.5 but two others have shot up and are 13 too.....really weird, so they may grow further and we may still have DI this time or they still may do Sweet FA...........always a waiting game even before 2ww!!

Anyway scan on Monday will be more telling and I have started my usual Ovulation mucus thing (sorry TMI but you know what I mean!) so that is a good sign of positive ovulation ......roll on Monday!! Had some wine tonight........I know its bad but I am fed up being good and feel that it is a toss up........no wine and permanently stressed which is so not good for you or wine and happy for once in about the last millions weeks!

Traci - Hope you are good babe, keep your chin up..........if there is such a thing as karma you are definately going to be +ve considering the support you have given everyone on this entire site!........you deserve it!!

Love


JenFx

[Traci]

Jen F
Great news buddy well tomorrow it is then and you will be another one on my test date post!!! when I went through my 2nd ICSI my first scan showed 2 follis and they were going to cancell the cycle I was distraut and they let me go 3 more days so I drank like a fish YOU KNOW ME!!!!!! and anyway they still said perhaps they would cancell but I cryed and stamped my feet so they let me go another 2 days WELL I ended up with 4 eggs and 2 grade a embies so there if I hadnt have had a drink and was more stressed it wouldnt have worked I still got a negative but at least I got a chance to get them in there ! and the waiting for the 3 o clock phone call when you have had the scan at 8.30 am . I did ask the clinic and they said if you are used to drinking and it destresses you then 1 or 2 red wines now and then ( everyother day ) was ok cause your body goes into shock and isnt itself Lots of people get PG when they are totally SH**Faced. I have now had my last drink and am going to see a nutritionist on tuesday Just to see me through the next 2 weeks and the 2ww ( If I get there !) but if it all starts going belly up and I need a little red wine to calm the ole nerves then I will

Great news for you , I will be thinking of you tomorrow and the candel will be lit tonight , you are the start of a new one

Trace x

[Traci]

Jen F
Great news buddy well tomorrow it is then and you will be another one on my test date post!!! when I went through my 2nd ICSI my first scan showed 2 follis and they were going to cancell the cycle I was distraut and they let me go 3 more days so I drank like a fish YOU KNOW ME!!!!!! and anyway they still said perhaps they would cancell but I cryed and stamped my feet so they let me go another 2 days WELL I ended up with 4 eggs and 2 grade a embies so there if I hadnt have had a drink and was more stressed it wouldnt have worked I still got a negative but at least I got a chance to get them in there ! and the waiting for the 3 o clock phone call when you have had the scan at 8.30 am . I did ask the clinic and they said if you are used to drinking and it destresses you then 1 or 2 red wines now and then ( everyother day ) was ok cause your body goes into shock and isnt itself Lots of people get PG when they are totally SH**Faced. I have now had my last drink and am going to see a nutritionist on tuesday Just to see me through the next 2 weeks and the 2ww ( If I get there !) but if it all starts going belly up and I need a little red wine to calm the ole nerves then I will

Great news for you , I will be thinking of you tomorrow and the candel will be lit tonight , you are the start of a new one

Trace x

[Traci]

oops sorry !!

[caz1]

hi there
staci - feel exactly the same way - has never occured to me that its my DHs fault or problem - it TOTALLY about the 2 of us just tryong to fix it the best we can
Yes hes is having a procedure called TESE - we're they basically insert a tiny needle into the testicle to try to find some sperms (he has none in his semen). They found some last time - but only fertilised 2 out of 12 eggs because apparently they has poor morphology and where only very slightly motile. The news just gets better and better doesnt it!?

Its Weird - I would NEVER EVER have know that there was any problem with my DH - if we hadnt done tests. You know sex etc totally normal (V good infact!)
I think its SO hard for them because being fertile is so tied up with their masculinity whereas for a girl being infertile is somehow easier to talk about - I dunno. Men a re tricky arent they?!
Have you and your DH discussed using a donor if things dont work out?
Good luck with it all!!

Jen - thats SUCH great news - really chuffed for you - keep up the good work

Hi Traci - had lovely glass of vino last night - it def did me good!

By the way HAve either of you guys heard from Millie (used to be on DI pals aquite a bit)??If you're out there Millie - hope alls well!

Personal Q - to you all - SEX!? Have you been having it ?- I was OK up until last week -but have been off it recently - Ovaries feeling a bit cumbersome I think? Am I alone - is everyone else at it like bunnies and me and DH are the only saddos??!!! Tell me not!!

Anyway, big X

Cazxx

[Traci]

Im a Sado Too totally gone off it and I get too tired for some reason!!!!


Trace x

[AMITHIS]

Caz,

Your poor DH. And mine thinks he has it bad! That does not sound like a pleasant procedure....no worse than the stuff we have to go through, of course, but men aren't usually as tolerant of such stuff.

I didn't even suspect it was my DH either. No obvious problems at all. In fact, we had both just assumed that it was me. I had gone to a few different doctors and had just about every possible test done with each one coming back normal before we even got to the point where we went to a clinic that specialized in infertility which, of course, required that he be tested. We found he has extremely low count and 0 morphology.
They can't find a reason why.

As far as a donor, he is totally against it so that's not an option. He is just so totally convinced this is going to work that I don't think he is willing to consider any alternatives right now. I'm not so sure I'd be comfortable with it either but, again, since this is our first try at IVF and we are probably both a little too optimistic that it will work, I think we are both a little closed minded right now about alternatives. I guess that starts to change when things don't work out as hoped. I mean you have to do what you have to do, right?

RE sex, I must say that a few days into downregging I was definitely not in the mood....and I usually have a higher drive than him! I gave in once for his sake but I really had no interest. I'm guessing things will get better during the first few days on the stims (started them last night) but then get worse again?

An important question, are you still exercising?!

Question for everyone: Have any of your Dr.'s recommended that you only put one embryo back? Our Dr. said that due to my thin build, he thought that carrying twins would be too much on me and, for that reason, he thought that if we had a Grade 1 embryo, we'd be best off just going with one. I'm 34. I'd like to prevent having twins but, at the same time, I don't want to decrease our chances dramatically by only going with one. Of course, this is assuming I even make it to that point but just figure it's best to decide now so I'm not under pressure at the last minute!

Anyway, I'm off to have my one little measly cup of coffee that I'm allowing myself each day. I didn't even realize how many vices I had until I had to start trying to give them up!

Staci

[caz1]

HI there Staci
I think my clinic generally puts 2 back in. I am normal/ Medium build tho - so you might get a different answer from some of the skinnies?!
Quite surprised at only one though - because my understanding was they you still have a much higher chance of a singleton birth than twins even if they put 2 back in??
Dunno - to some extent I think you just have to have blind faith in the doctors - otherwise you can just drive yourself crazy worrying - which I am guilty of! At some level you just have to have COMPLETE faith that they know what theya re doing

re the donor thing - my DH is for it one minute and then when it ACTUALLY come to the point where we say - well maybe we SHOULD use a donor this time, he backs off. Very difficult. But I kind of understand. Its SUCH a huge thing. Theres just SO much more to fatherhood than providing one microscopic sperm that theres a danger of over analysing the donor thing . ESPECIALLY when you think of all the 10000s of kids out there who are born via donor sperm/ eggs, and all the 10000s who have no father at all around or who have a father that they THINK is the bioloical father , who actually isnt (my doc has told me its as high as 10-20% of people!!) - we have MASSIVELY over analysed it I think! And just keep going round in circles - as some of the girls on this board will agree with I guess?!
As you say - you have to do what you have to do!!
BUT...you are SO right to stay +ve - you only need 1 sperm for ICSI! And I think the success rates in teh US are better than here -is that right?

re excerise - yup still at it! But finding that my heart rate is going up MUCH quicker and higher than usual - so just taking it a bit easier.

Think I'll be stopping from day of ec though

TAke care!
Cazxx

[AMITHIS]

Hi all,

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to this but need to vent. Today, my DH went to a christening party at our next door neighbors house for their 1 year old. I really wasn't feeling well enough to go over there (the problem was more emotional than physical since everyone on our street has kids except us and the one lady who didn't is now pregnant). The last time I went to a party at one of their houses when we first moved here, I felt completely left out since everyone was talking about their children.

Anyway, I just couldn't deal with being around all those people the way I'm feeling. DH said that it was not a problem; that he would go over alone and bring our gift. When I asked him what he would tell people if they asked where I was, he just said not to worry; that he would "take care of it".

At any rate, he "took care of it" by just telling people the truth He said everyone was very concerned and sympathetic, etc. but now I feel like a complete freak. I just feel like everyone is going to be scrutenizing me every time I leave the house now. I mean I still have quite a way to go in the process. Of course, then there's the issue of what if it doesn't work? I don't want to be the person on the street that everyone feels sorry for because she can't have children.

I didn't let myself get mad at DH because he has been so good lately and I feel that this whole thing is partly my fault for not talking with him about who should know or not know in advance. I just assumed he would tell people I wasn't feeling well and leave it at that. From his point of view, there is nothing wrong with the whole thing so he has no problem with people knowing. I don't feel that there is anything wrong with it either but, at the same time, just feel strange having so many people know that we aren't even very close to.

Can anyone identify? Am I just stressing over this for nothing? I guess there is not much that can be done now so I'll just have to live with being under a microscope.

Staci

[jaye]

Hi all,

First my news, then I'll try to get to the gist of everyone else's - so much happening right now!

Today has not been a very good day for me. AF was due today - no sign of showing, but dr. said the progesterone keeps it away, so I didn't take that as a bad sign. I did do a hpt, though and got a -ve. So, barring a miracle, that's that for me. I feel OK now, but I was gutted - even surprised myself at how upset I was. After a little cry I went off to work regardless, but had a VERY minor disagreement with my boss (who's fantastic) and ended up in tears and went home. After a long sob on DH's shoulder (who's luckily working at home today), I ended up e-mailing my boss and telling her all about it - which actually feels better, coz noone else (apart from DH and all of you, of course), knows what I've been going through. And I think she deserves to know why one of her senior managers is doing such a c**p job at the moment!

I have to say, knowing about all of you and having you to talk to has been a godsend. You are all such inspirational women, how so many of you go through this time and time again, but always have the ability to be so supportive and happy for others when it works. I also know that many worse stories than mine go on to have happy endings. It gives me the strength to go on - first time would almost have been too easy!

Other than that, thanks to those of you that assured me that I'm normal with a 225 dose - I really was feeling like I was some kind of Gonal-F sucking freak!

Staci, I'm not sure about how I would have behaved with DH in your situation. We haven't told anyone - I asked him once if he would have told people if it wasn't for me, he said he might have told his mum, but just coz she keeps wanting to come and stay and it's so awkward so often that we have to keep finding new excuses why she can't! But I guess I feel like we have an understanding that this is something that we aren't sharing with anyone. To be honest, I think I'd be upset - but more for the reasons you say, you don't want everyone KNOWING, and even worse, pitying you. (Why is it that we're all so afraid of what other people think, anyway?) I guess there's not much you can do at this point, other than tell DH why you didn't want others to know, and how you feel about it. Have you told others you are close to?

Also, my clinic routinely only puts back one, but I think that's unusual. They say it's because they feel there's more risk of losing both if you put 2 back, and no additional chance of getting a pregancy from 2 compared to 1. Also, they say risk of premature birth or still birth death much higher with multiples. (I'm also slim build, but that doesn't have much to do with it - although have a history of premature birth in the family, and dr. said that was a factor). In my case I just trust them - different clinics are different and do things differently. If they can give you a reason that sounds reasonable, I guess you have to trust them - but there do seem to be reasons for.

Well, I 've gone on quite long enough today. This is what happens when I'm at home during the day!

Take care everyone, I think Gemma is next to test now?

Jaye.