The Over 40 Crowd

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:15 pm

Hi Alette, lovely to hear from you. How are you doing? when is your scan? it must be soon? I should check the November Mammas thread I suspect!

Our EC went better than expected thank you. Hoped for 5 but found 8 eggs so fingers crossed now for a good rate of fertilisation and survival until Thursday for ET. DF asked me not to discuss his swimmers but he fails to understand this board! His best swimmers rate had improved by 10% since last summer and as it was good then, he must be doing something right!

take care
Debra.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:39 pm

Hi D - again fantastic news about your 8 eggies and I like to know that dh has been circuit training his swimmers, my dh has stopped wearing underpants as his contribution

hehhehehhehe

Hey Alette, how are you sweetie, sorry I just don't have the courage to come and find you on the mums thread, would be nice to know how you are???

Randa - cool link

Heather - did you try trusting your sister??
I know that's easier said than done, but last week I talked to my therapist about how I have a good cry every time I come off the phone with sis, and however hard she tries to understand she always hurts me. My therapist said "have you told her that?" and of course I sat there

doh never thought of that. We tend to call eachother Tuesdays (she's in the UK)as my mum has Thomas then and she is at her desk (she's a novelist). So I called her today (on SKYPe so 1.5 hours cost me €1.5!!!) and as she started being "supportive" I realised she can't avoid referring to her child, or pregnancy but she is trying to give me something. Then at some point she said "all this IVF stuff isn't making you happy is it?" so I explained that when she talks about her stuff it's wonderful for me to know as I want to be a big part of her life and my nephew's life etc, but that I cry all the time when she's speaking. She was so moved and so sweet and she said "that's why I am here for you so that you can have your own bundle of joy"
Now that's my sis who at 38 got pg and now 39 pg with nr2 and no trying no waiting nothing. I have been unkind to her in some ways as through my hurt I did'nt give her a chance to show her love

Maybe your sis having done IVF would be quite hurt if she felt you couldn't trust her - mine was which surprised me in the nicest way

Does that help???

LittleP I am cool

and groovey

and I have a new passport

and the sun shone again today

- also in my heart

because of the above conversation and all the lovely friends here who helped me to get that far

Oh I do go on don't I ?????

love bigramblingJ

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:49 pm

so....BigramlingJ - what happens at the first apt with your clinic? how many times do you need to be there?

Your therapist's comment was spot on then? most of us are the same, we want people to know how we feel but don't necessarily tell them what we hope to see/hear - thus we are permanently disappointed. Tough on everyone. I saw a therapist when my marriage was hitting a huge bloody rock 10 yrs ago and I hated her. She sat in total silence and waited for me to start each session which freaked me out. We didn't bother for long. Sounds as if you've had better luck. Do you work in English or German?

Not sure what DF has done re. his swimmers. He's a very healthy eater but rarely exercises due to a knee op that didn't completely heal. We did start eating fish/seafood again last December after a 5 year gap for him and a nearly 20 year gap for me. Maybe that helped? He's also in his 20s so that can't hurt either....

hugs
Debra.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:16 pm

Hi D

you are very good

you think if you ask me direct questions I might stick to the point

years of talking in brackets might get in the way but I'll try OK?? deep breath

1st appt we get to meet the famous "Dr O" and team

, we hand over notes of tmt so far (about 20kilos

) although they have summary by email already and have responded exactly as expected with IVF/DE and sperm wash (dh has antibodies) so probably fresh sperm needed. They do another spermiogram (I am more than happy that they do this no sloppy lab work allowed in this story

) should say dh has "olympic swimmers that are all clumped together

". Then they do me a scan, check I have all the bits

and test the catheter for ET

. They do extensive questionaire and counselling appt and allocate donor accordingly (they match immuno and basic physical characteristics) . Then I get shipped off with yummy drugs to make womb wizard happy and sweetie angel donor pie is allocated (no waiting list) and gets on her horse (bless her wherever and whoever she is). It's nice as their donors are all students under 26 or something and you can also find out what they are studying (general). Then 4-6 weeks later, depending on cycle co-ordination we get 4 days notice for ET so long my Endo has done the job.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:23 pm

ah sorry D pressed submit instead of review

About the therapy - I went through trauma therapy, group therapy, behaviour therapy and psychotherapy when I was in the hospital (I was in a residential depression ward for about 5 months ) and through that excellent and fantastic treatment became very choosy when I came out for "ambulent" (mobile) therapy. The lady I have now I see 1 hour a week and she is the BUSINESS, and she has to be cos I am a hard case

She cares, and if I have a crisis I can always leave her a message and she gets back to me, she loves her job.

I know what you mean about the "you sit there and have to say something" therapists - my experience is that they are highly qualified theorists that have NO idea about people in distress or how to help them. You did right to blow her/him out, but there are good ones out there believe me

happy to PM further on that if you want?

LOve and kisses
bigJ

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:27 pm

Debra,
Soooooo happy to hear about your 8 eggs!!!
Not sure if you got a chance to check out the Kokopelli link, but he is the ancient native American God of Fertility. The write-up took several paragraphs to actually get to that point, so you might not have read that far and wouldn't blame you.
Anyway... something worked, because you have a nest full of eggs, you little hen you!

Also, am I imagining things, or have you dropped your signature-history from your posts?
Fingers crossed for a super ET on Thursday!

BigJ,
I got goosebumps when I read your post about your sister.

So glad you two cleared the air some. This whole situation has got to be hard on both of you. I know if my sister was having to go through everything you are going through to have a child, I would be sick inside. And it would compound things if I was having no problems at all conceiving - sheesh!
And my sis and I fight all the time (13 months apart in age), but I would NEVER wish fertility problems on her.
Glad you got your passport!!!

Hi to all the other 40-crowd posters! Wish we had a list of us. I get confused easily

Alette! PLEASE, I'm begging you, give us an update on your pregnancy!

And, we have another over-40 who's preggars too, but I can't remember who it is???

Blame it on my recovery from foot surgery - still on pain meds

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:29 pm

Big (Galloping

) J

Well

girl, sounds as though you are ready, ready, ready

I've got a lovely picture of "olympic swimmers" and "Womb Wizards"

if only I could share ...

So, how are you doing - still got hold of my sunshine

- I did find a little here today, but unfortunately as with all good things, it was a "blink and you'll miss it" moment

Hope you are going ok.

Debra, still going strong - you've done really well today, so feet up and look after yourself - you've done your bit, let the others do some work now

Little P

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:34 pm

BigJ - thanks for the offer of advice re. therapists but that marriage ended in 97 and I've SOOOOO moved on! Besides, I primarily only tried it as work were paying. They made the mistake of sending all the HR managers on a counselling course and on the first day back, 6 of us asked for counselling ourselves!!!!! More direct Qs(!) - how many trips will you need to make? will your local GP/OB work with you afterwards for bloodtests, scans etc? do you talk in German or English with your super therapist?

Randa. I did get to the fertility link thank you! re. the other pg 40+, are you thinking of Joy (LongBayGirl) she of the HUGE success in Kiev? I'm waiting to see how many of her 4 embies are there....twins, triplets, quads....oh my! I rewrote my signature but still got fedup of it taking up half the page!

LittleP - I'm curious, are you ever going to tell us your name? In my mind I picture you as a friend in S.America who was called Little Dons as we had another Donna in the group. Who are you??? I'm very nosey!

hugs
Debra

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:11 am

Thanks, Debra!
Yes, Joy is who I was thinking of - how could I forget her?

Our over 40 group has Alette and Joy- SO FAR -who are pregnant!
Come on, Debra, you gotta be the third!!! PMA, PMA, PMA!

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 2:26 am

BigJ,
Don't remember which thread you had asked me about 3 vs. 5 day, but I have it (at least what my doc/lab uses).
I'm copying and pasting what the nurse wrote back to me.

the medical reason to do day 3 (cleaved) versus day 5 (blast) embryo transfer or vice versa:
The day 5 embryos have more cells therefore that can tell us more information about the quality of the cell. This allows us to pick a "strong" embryo for transfer. The down side to a blast transfer is that you can lose around 40% of your embryos (give or take a few) getting to this point. The criteria for a blast transfer is 7 embryos with 3 of those being of good quality.

A day 3 transfer is just as able to create a healthy pregnancy but we don't "know" as much about them since they have fewer cells. Therefore we tend to transfer more embryos. It really all boils down to survival of the fittest. You are asking a fragile embryo that could create a healthy pregnancy on day 3 to grow three more days in a petri dish so that you can have more info and transfer a single maybe double blast.

The end. Does that help?

CarolineP · Post by **CarolineP** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:42 am

Please add me to the pregnant over 40s although I am at very early stage - BFP on 4th April, 1st scan to detect heartbeat 18th April.

CarolineP

Alette · Post by **Alette** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:02 am

What a wonderfull result Debra!!
This must be a big relief!!!

short update; scan at 8 weeks is on the 12th of April. (rather late, but on my request, I want to be sure there must be a heartbeat, if not, I know I am going to miscarry, still scared to death).

I send you lot a PMA!!!

good luck to all of you!!!

love
Alette

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:07 am

Alette

All the best for 8 April - will be thinking of you

PMA to you for the scan

Little P

JudeM · Post by **JudeM** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:08 am

Hi Girls

I've just been having a quick look at the board since my last visit & things have been happening!

Congratulations on your wonderful result Joy -that's really wonderful news & lots of luck for the first scan.

Debra - 8 eggs is fantastic

fingers crossed that DH's olympic swimmers have done their duty.

I've not been able to get to computer since we got back from Barcelona. DP was hogging the one at home - for work he said

and since I got back to the office on Monday I've been trying to catch up on my work but as the boss is out of the office this morning I thought I'd take advantage of the situation.

Our donor produced 6 eggs, 5 of which fertilised & 4 developed to good state. We had 2 put back & 2 frozen. I was complimented on the state of my womb lining (not something you hear every day

) which was still around 12mm. Got a hug & a kiss from the (lady) doctor who did the transfer which I thought was really nice.

We got back to London on Wednesday (had a bit of a scare on the flight back as it was a bumpy landing) & took it easy for the rest of the week.

Have had the usual cramps/twinges etc etc & have swung from being v positive to being sure it hasn't worked but we'll know next week.

BigJ - your email referred to 'Dr O' - so I assume your appointment is with Dr Olivares (or George Clooney as DP & I call him). He is really lovely and very friendly & helpful.

I'd better get back to work now.

Love to all

Jude

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:16 am

Jude

Welcome back and good luck with the 2ww.

Loads of PMA and Baby Dust to you

George Clooney hey, no wonder you went to Barcelona

Little P

The Over 40 Crowd

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