Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Sunshine1576]

Still recovering from our dinner party with Belles and her parents. We had a nice pot roast with rice, and afterwards sat by the fire and drank hot cocoa. Then Belles and I took off to the craft room for more crafts, tonight we decorated pine cones for tree oraments. I told her about my first Christmas married and how we decorated the tree with gold glittered cones. Her parents (mom and dad-step) showed us their new place they are looking at but still waiting for the realtor to get back with them. They have to moved out by the 28th, and really want to stay close to us and Belles' school district. I told them they will always be close to us, and we can still get together but deep down I know it's going to be emotional hard for everyone and will take time to adjust and get settled in. Belles made a card for her mom for lol Valentine's Day and left it here at my house and when I looked at it again I cried, silly I know but it read I love you Mom on the front of it and I thought if only her mom knew how blessed she was to have Belles as her daughter, she will never understand what I am talking about but that is ok.

This is why I have you girls here, you understand how difficult it is at times, I don't mean to throw a pity party but I also think it's been well passed the time for something to happen somehow! I told dh today that what if we took all the money and invested in paying off the house and his vehicle and maybe try naturally again for a while. Sometimes I don't feel the fertility treatment is getting us very far, maybe a break would help. Sometimes though when we are on a break I get even more agitiated because then I don't feel we are being proactive, but then I get myself in a deeper hole with debt when we keep trying but aren't seeing results. We already changed clinics and my new RE is compassionate but the anticipation is the hardest. Dh and I did agree that we need to wait till mid February to cycle again, he keeps thinking a break would be good in helping us save money. I'm at the point of thinking ok I need to be reasonable with treatment but it's hard to rationalize it really is esp. when you cannot stop thinking about being pregnant again. With the meltdown I had yesterday, Dh has been attentive to me today, helping me prepare dinner and spending quality time together, I'm really thankful that he is supportive, sometimes when I'm at the point of giving up, he reminds me he married me long ago and with or without kids he will always love me. Sometimes that confirmation may be all we really need, but I'm still not ready to let go of being a mother someday. Question is when is enough really enough, I really don't know how to let go...

Anton, I loved your tree around the starcase. I wish you and your dh a wonderful upcoming holdiay season full of many blessings in the new year.

Leora, I will keep praying your beta stays strong, it's a brand new chapter for yo and dh that I commend you for taking this next step. Yes, this will be your rainbow baby.

JenMink, I will be praying for you too, you've come a long way and it's so exciting and nerve racking at the same time. Monday can not possibly come quick enough, but the wait will be so worth it because you get to hear this heartbeat for the first time.

Ninde, you sound like you are ready for the next Ironman event. lol I hope you are resting up. Btw, Belles loved the skirt.

Felicia, Glad you are still with us! Tell us more about the u's visits when you get some energy.

More personals when I get out if this state of mind that everything seems better on the other side, I probably need to take a long break and hiberate for a while...

[Tess69]

Hey everybody

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been pretty busy and was struggling to keep up with posts on the board so decided not to stress about it, and give myself a break.

I haven't been able to catch up on posts yet so just a couple of posts for now:

Leora - yay yay yay yay yay yay... I can't say enough yays for you. i'm crossing everthing for a lovely beta on Sunday.

We - I am so sorry to her about your ex-husband. That is just so tragic. As if you needed more grief in your life. I hope that your son is coping okay and know that he will be getting amazing support from you.

AFM - had a thawed embryo transfer on 18 Nov and have my beta on Sunday. I POAS tonight - 7dp5dt - and it's a negative. I know it's early days but I don't think I'm pregnant. Will test again tomorrow.

I'll endeavour to keep up with the posts.....

[Neffi211]

Leora-- did you POAS this morning? Is it any darker? Thinking of you so much!

Anton- your tree is beautiful! I think we may be getting ours tomorrow!

AFM-- We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Jack was so good and went all day without a nap! He was a trooper. Dh and I got to sit a relax and enjoy ourselves. It was the best Thanksgiving I can remember in years. This day always reminds me of my last miscarriage that was on Thanksgiving Day two years ago and we had to miss everything. Although I am no closer to my second baby, this year I still truly feel blessed.

OK off to the mall I go! I love shopping so much with my mom and sister, but this year will be a little harder since my sister is 22 weeks pregnant and we will be looking at maternity clothes and baby stuff

[WeHaveHope]

Dear friends,
The day I have been dreading for almost two weeks is here. I don't know how I am goingto get through today. I am still in a state of shock. It's not just that my son's father will not be here to watch him grow into a wonderful man or that he won't be here for those special moments but it's also the horrific way in which he passed. I keep replaying it in my head and my heart sinks. I know I should be thankful for the years he had on this earth and the time he had with my son. I know I should be grateful that by all accounts it seems as though his passing was instant and he did not suffer. But that's a tough pill to swallow right now. I have prayed everyday but my heart continues to break.

I am asking for your prayers today. Pray that I can be strong for my son on this very difficult day. Pray that God can provide my son with peace in his heart and begin to heal him. Please pray for my DH who is also having a difficult time with this. He loves my son so much snd hurts for my son and for what had happened. Please pray that God has taken my dear son's father into his arms and that he can hear our prayers for him. I don't know how I am going to hold it together today. Please, I need many prayers.

[bodie1011]

Hope - How was the ultrasound today?

Blue - after all the pain you have had to go through, it must be a small comfort to have a friend you can share and who can understand what you are going through. I remember when you posted about your friend who had the m/c.

Gina - thats terrible. I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's uncle. You've had so much to deal with recently.

Sunshine - I' sorry you had a rough day on Wed. Men definitely have different wiring up there, but sounds like your husband was very sweet in trying to make up for his blunder. And I'm sorry you are in so much pain right now. This journey is so hard…

Leora - pregnant is pregnant! Congrats! I will be really really hoping for a great beta number on Sunday for you!!

Anton - what a beautiful tree. Now I am in the Christmas spirit

Felicia - good to hear from you! I'm sorry to hear about your subchorionic hemotoma. We are due close together so I am stalking you!

JenMink - good to hear from you. I will be hoping so much for the heartbeat for you on Monday.

Ninde - sounds like quite a workout. I'm tired just thinking about what you said

Maria - I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the healing process can start soon for your family.

AFM - passed out at 8pm with a houseful of guests yesterday. Thank god for DH who cleaned up and saw them out. Cooking yesterday was exhausting even with my mom's help. Today I am sitting on the couch and watching movies all day. Maybe do some online shopping. LOL.

[anton]

Hi everyone!
I hope you all had a wonderful turkey day yesterday with your families! and also enjoy your black Friday shopping today!!! either by visiting the shops or online...

Leora- hey u! where are you! How are you feeling today? What was David’s reaction to the BFP news! I pray for a rising beta on Sunday honey!....you asked me what kind of Christian I am, I am a Christian Orthodox and yes we celebrate Xmas on Dec 25th.


Sunshine- I am so glad that you had a good time with Belles and her family yesterday and at the same time I feel your pain for her being away from you. It must be hard having that kind of connection with someone and then that someone has to leave...I am hoping that they will not go far from you so that you can keep on seeing her. ....I am very positive that you are going to have your own baby/ies soon so that you can give your motherly love and attention to them. Belles will always be Belles but your kids will be your kids for keeps. And then you can do all those things you’ve been doing with Belles with them and its going to feel much, much better bcause you’ll be doing them with your kids .... I can totally relate on taking a break from IVF ...hello! I am on it as we speak ... I mean is good to get back on the horse but not while you are still shaking from your fall. I am feeling optimistic that in 2012 we will live great moments and we will find ourselves celebrating extremely good news! I’ll drink to that!

Indigofire- woohoo!!! 9 embryos! How wonderful! I bet there’s a winner there or two...I have a feeling you’ll be getting your Christmas miracle this year!! ...sorry to ask but why is it risky for you to have twins? I mean other that the expected risk of caring twins...

Hopethisworks- how was your u/s today? Seriously! You are from Cyprus! How wonderful. I live in Nicosia. Sorry I don’t remember, but, where do you live now? I would love to meet you next time you visit the island...If I were you, I would definitely announce it at Xmas! I don’t think I could wait a day without telling it to the world! Kala Xristougenna kai se esena!!!

Ninde- Hello Santa! Did you do any more shopping today?

Greekchick- Geia sou filenada!!! So good to hear from you again! The surgery you had is called Laparoscopy; I had the same back in 2009. Good to be living alone with your DH for a change! Mothers are good, even super sometimes, but not to live with them! like we say in Greek “makria kai agapimenoi” a couple should be living on its own...I am currently on a break from the IVF world.

Lyd- Hey girl, looks like Leora broke the curse of the frozen, so now you can break your curse on the fresh! Can’t wait to celebrate your BFP with you!!!

Bleueyedreamer- Can’t wait to see your Xmas tree!

Ninde- LOVED your cupcakes!!! They look yummy!! ...Good for you for exercising! We got to keep our bodies in good shape before we get really fat from being pregnant!

Gina- How are you holding up dear? YES! 2012 HAS to be and WILL be better for all of us! You can count on it!

LauraN- How did the u/s go today? you are getting closer and closer to your BFP!

Kim- I am sorry honey..hang in there. Have faith and IT will happen for you!

Margi-Lou-Rypell- Hello mamas! I’ve missed you girls so much! I’ve seen pics of your lovely babies on the PAT board and they look absolutely adorable! And they have grown so much since the last time I checked! I am SO happy things are going great with you girls! These must be the best Christmas EVER for you and deserve it SO much! ((hugs)) and all my Love to you my friends!

Nac- When is your beta due? I send you tons of baby sticky dust!

Wehavehope- I am thinking of you today my friend during this difficult time...Hang in there

Neffi- So what did the Viagra Queen shop today? When is your next RE appt? I am glad you had a good time with your family and shopping today! I know it must be hard shopping pregnancy clothes with your pregnant sister but your day will come soon! and you will be shopping baby clothes for your baby this time next year!

Jayne- I am glad that you find my posts inspiring! I hope whatever you choose to do (using donor eggs or yours) will bring you your miracle baby!

Kerpupples- I am glad you had a great time in Vegas dear!

Amanda- I SO want to kiss your doctor! Excellent news! January is not that far! I can’t wait to celebrate your BFP!

Fvrogers- I am sorry about your hematoma honey...I hope everything will be Ok from now on! when are you going to find out the sex of the baby!

Jenmink- Stop thinking negative honey! Everything will be fine and Monday you are going to see a heartbeat, or two! I can’t wait!

Tess- keep up that PMA of yours! I hope Sunday brings you that BFP! I send you tons of baby sticky dust!!!

Bodie- so, how many movies did you watched today mama? How nice your DH did the cleaning. Bravo dada! how are the girls mama? 2 girls! That is wonderful! I would be happy with any flavour but 2 girls is my DH’s favourite set!!!


Sorry if I left anyone behind! You girls are all in my prayers!

AFM- I have been cleaning my house like crazy today. I have friends coning over for dinner tomorrow night for dinner and a couple is staying over too and I wanted everything to be perfect!... I promised DH a Spinach/feta tonight and got to start making it! ...tomorrow is going to be a another long day for me starting with grocery shopping, cooking and decorating the dinner table....and finding the cards to play poker after dinner! Where the hell did I put them!...

Baby dust to us all!!

anton

[Gina1976]

Thanks all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. I hope everyone is doing well. Those in your 2ww, hang in there!! Good luck to all that are in your cycle. I pray for each of you throughout the day.

Anton- Yes! Here is to 2012!! Can't wait for New Years Eve!

I'm doing tons better! My parents said the funeral service was really nice. She was buried with my Grandfathers flag. My mom put my DS's, Niece and Nephews picture with her also. My mom still had Thanksgiving, which helped her. Hopefully we will find out more about DH's Uncle and what can be done. I've heard Chemo even if not cancerous, I don't know though.

[LauraN]

Neffi- ok, so I'm just going to ask, is the Viagra doing anything other than thickening your lining? I just have to know, does it make you want sex more?

Maria- I am so sorry, I know today is going to be a rough day. I know you will be strong for your son, but know that it's ok for you to mourn too.

AFM- had another SnS today. Estrogen level is great, follies are cooperating and I've still got follies on both side playing, so that is very exciting for me. So, my next appt is Sunday, they are thinking that we will trigger Sunday, then do the ER on Tuesday and then the Transfer on Friday....we will see. She said the latest would be ER on Wednesday and the transfer on Saturday- that would be the same amount of time as last time. I'm mixed, I would kinda like things a little different this time, so going a day earlier than last time would be great, but on the other hand, I have a hair appt on Friday that I will have to cancel if we do go earlier...hehehehe.....but I love my hair dresser and she knew that I would maybe have to change the appt, I just hope she has other openings. Well, I'm feeling like my ovaries are the size of basketballs right now and right after the ultrasound I'm always a little uncomfortable, so I'm going to go lay down, read through the ads again, and maybe go shopping. I don't get into the getting up at the butt crack of dawn to go shopping with all of the crowds and stuff, so later is fine with me, they are still discounting a lot of stuff. Everyone have a fantastic day!

[Gina1976]

Maria- My thoughts are with you all today.

[Neffi211]

LauraN- Haha....no, the Viagra has not done anything for my sex drive. In fact, it is the opposite. Sex is out of the question because the Viagra is a mess and I have to do it 4x/day! I really hope it is doing wonders for my lining!!!

Anton-- Shopping was great today! I got a ton of stuff! I still have some more to do, but its a great start! I actually had fun looking for maternity clothes with my sister!

Now its time to nap and then go to my parents for left overs!

[HopeThisWorksM]

Had the second US today. Saw the heartbeat. Looked better than alst week as expected so everythingis progressing fine

120 BPM from a healthy little heart and the Placenta blood flow was inreasing as it's supposed to

-HopeThisWorksM

[moorebaby]

CRASHING...

HopeThisWorksM- I'm so happy for you! When will you be released to an OB?

LauraN- Great SnS report! I can't wait to hear when your ER wil be! How did you make out with shopping?

anton- So great to hear from you! Sounds like you've been your usual self...coooking yummy food & getting together with family & friends. Your Christmas tree & house are beautiful! I know you're on a break from IVF until 2012, but when do you think you'll be cycling?

bodie- Hey fellow twin preggo mama! I'm not sure if I've seen you over on the PAT 2012 cycle board. Maybe you're waiting until you're out of the 1st trimester? I don't blame you if you are; I did the same. Sorry you're so exhausted. I do not miss that at all, but I still get random days where I feel like & I'm in the 2nd trimester. Today is a perfect example of that. But, it's all worth it.

WeHaveHope- Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for everything you've had to endure. My heart goes out to you & your son. I can't even imagine.

Tess- Hey there! It may still be too early especially since frosties implant a little later. I'm praying for a BFP for you. When's your BETA?

Sunshine- Oh hun, my heart breaks for you! I'm very glad that you have a supportive DH. If you're not ready to stop trying, then keep going even if that means you have to wait some time to save money. Also, you're a being proactive even when you're on pause...you're being proactive financially. If you don't mind me asking, why are you not going for IVF? I know you said your doctor suggests doing another IUI? Why is he not pushing for IVF? Is the finances?

blueeyedreamer- How have you been? I think of you a lot. When will you be cycling again?

JenMink- How's everything going? I can't believe you have the energy to do Black Friday! You go girl! Can't wait to hear about Monday's u/s!

Ninde- How are you? I think of you often. What your future plans for another cycle?

Lydia- How are you?

Felicia- Hey girl! How's everything going? How far along are you now...about 11 weeks? Almost in the 2nd trimester!

Amanda- Great news about your RE letting you cycle & pay for it later...how nice of him! Stinks that there may be a problem w/ DH's sperm, but at least you know & are addressing the issue.

Leora- A BFP is a BPF! Congrats...woohoo!!! Can't wait to hear the 2nd BETA results on Sunday! I'm sure they'll be great! I'm loving your optimism!

Everyone else- I read & pray for each & everyone of you daily! All of you deserve nothing but a beautiful baby in your arms. It's wonderful to see the support & love here! Keep it up!

[blessed143]

Hi Ladies.. I hope that you all are doing well. I am so sorry that I am behind in personals. My computer finally crashed and crashed hard and today of course I got a new one. I told DH he still needed to wrap the box so I have a present to unwrap on Christmas. I hope that all that had Thanksgiving had a wonderful time... I enjoyed cooking. I totally overcooked.. 19lb turkey... yeah only about 4 bites are gone

Hope-That is awesome! Congrats on hearing the heartbeat! What a wonderful experience and time. So happy for you!

Neffi- Haha that is funny about the viagra and your sex drive. I am sorry that it is such a mess but praying that it works for you! Glad that shopping went well with you and your sister.

LauraN-I am glad that your SnS went well today. How exciting that your ER and ET are coming up so soon! Hehe... Hey hair is important too. I hope that the days work out great for you and I pray that you get your BFP with this round. I am with you, I cant do the early shopping. I like my rest and I cant see going and getting into all that craziness. Still had good deals this afternoon.

Gina- NOt sure if I ever said how sorry I am for your loss. I am glad that the funeral was nice and that she was buried with very important things. I am glad Thanksgiving helped your mom. I know that it is such a hard thing to deal with. Praying for you still.

Leora-thinking of you and just waiting to hear your second beta.. That is awesome that you had a bfp! Praying that the numbers keep going up and have a great next 9 months!

anton- great to see you posting on the boards. Still thinking of you! Have fun at dinner!

we-I am thinking and praying for you and your son. I cant imagine what you are going through. I remember seeing the pain and hurt in my moms eyes when I went through it. Your son is so lucky to have you to love and support him. That is all that he needs right now. I know that the pain is there and will be there for a while if not forever but you will help him and he is so blessed to have you. I am truly sorry and praying for you all....

Tess- Praying for your bfp! I hope that you see a dark line soon!

sunshine- thinking of you. I cant imagine how hard it is losing such a wonderful person-even if they are just moving a little bit away. I am thinking of you..

Everyone else I am so sorry if I forgot you. Still trying to get use to this laptop and just trying to get back into the swing of things. I am praying and thinking of you all and cant wait to hear how everyone is doing on their cycle. I go on Dec 2nd-so not today but next Friday for my first u/s. Still been so nervous. I have been praying for some sign of pregnancy symptoms. I just worry with the numbers low but I praise God that they almost doubled then almost tripled. I think that it almost makes it harder when I try to talk to people about it and they just truly dont understand. I dont mean to get frustrated with them but it is not the same as "oh you got a positive congrats" It seems like until I hear a heartbeat I cant relax then I cant imagine I would relax until after the birth. But oh well.. SOrry... I have missed being on here knowing that there are people that understand. Thinking of you all and praying for you all.. Take care and good night!

[blueeyedreamer]

My poor hubby! He worked up the nerve to tell his parents about the miscarriage. He called and his dad kept talking and talking about how we shouldn't eat canned food because bpa would hurt the baby. Dh said we have to try again. He said it 4 times and dad still wasn't listening. He hung up with his folks still expecting a baby. Ahhhhhh!

[JenMink55]

Blueeye--- omg... poor Dad!!! It's funny, people really don't get IVF, the process and even what a miscarriage is! When I tried to explain the whole ER/ET thing to my MIL she was asking all these wonky questions. Last night DH was explaining to SIL the difference between Fresh and FET and it was totally obvious she didn't follow.
When are you trying again?