Heart’s Desire – Finding Strength and Direction from God

[Hope644]

Prayer for Conceiving a Child

Mother of Christ, you were graced by God with the privilege of bearing our Divine Savior. You experienced the joys and challenges of being a parent. Your life was blessed with seeing Jesus grow from infancy and childhood, into his adult years of teaching a ministry. With St. Joseph, you created a home for your family to love and share together. Please intercede before the God of all life, that Hope, weezie, hrobinson, Angela, Nic, Indie, Sonu, Chelly, chriss, Cathann, alisha, MP, Kildean, SONU, and many other ladies may conceive a baby and raise healthy children, with whom they can share the Lord's good gifts. May their children honor them and You by lives of virtue and caring for others. May their home be holy and their family be blessed with health, happiness and abiding love.

Amen.

What a beautiful prayer, Sonu.... thank you very much... but I did want to make one minor adjustment... What a blessing you are to each of us.

[Hope644]

Did anyone care to comment on my Progesterone question? With all this BFP talk, maybe it just got missed or maybe everyone doesn't really like talking about the PIO LOL

Hey Indie! First of all, congratulations on being of one mind and focusing on forward motion with DH.

I was thinking of you this morning (and all of us going through IVF) but especially you... as i was reading the Psalms... these verses jumped off the page for me today... I just love them.

Psalm 27:13-14
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be STRONG and TAKE HEART and WAIT FOR THE LORD.

I know for me, at least (as I've said many times) Patience is not my strongest virtue. And I know at least for me (and I feel strongly for you, Indie - and likely for most of us) that God is using this time that we wait to grow us and build us into the people He wants us to be. This time is not wasted and in fact is essential in preparing all of us for what He has designed for our lives. How wonderful is that?!

SOOO - about your PIO question - I did them for the entire 2 ww in both cycles and after my BFP I did them for another 2 or so before I switched over to inserts (i forget the name), but they were far better than the IM Shots every day! I won't kid ya, they are NOT fun... I actually still have a sensitive spot on my left hip from them (????) but it's definitely worth it. I have a history of fainting when I've had shots (and acupuncture) in my lower back/hip area... so I was scared of fainting at first. But I think those times were different b/c I was either standing or sitting up somewhat... so DH does them while I'm lying face down and I've not had any problems.

They really aren't THAT bad... you'll definitely get used to them!

[Hope644]

I have been down and out with Strep Throat and not in the mood to do ANYTHING!!!

I know I'm cheating a bit by doing individual posts, but I'm finding that is the easiest thing for me to do right now!

SOOOO - hrobinson - so sorry you're down with strep!!!! Hope you are feeling better SOON!

[Hope644]

Hey Ladies,

The Lord is awesome. He has been so good to me!!! I just received my 1st beta and it is 1255! Wow, I can't believe it!!!! I am overjoyed right now. I just keep praising HIM for he is worthy of all my praise.

Wow Kildean! That is a very strong beta!!! God is so good!!!

[Hope644]

Well I forgot to post dh's reaction. He had a horrible day at work on vday so it took him a while to cool off before I gave him the present - then he thought it was a fake pee test!! He thought I bought it like that. He really was in shock the first evening not much reaction. But now he is just so happy - I know he is more happy for me than for himself right now. We told only one friend -we will wait a while longer to tell others. It was nice sharing the news with someone. I am still really in disbelief - Also a little sad that not all my buddies on this MB can experience it at the same tiime. But I believe in God's timing. I believe there is a reason he let me wait EIGHT years to experience this.

I am continuing to pray for each of you! Isn;t it amazing that we will all meet one day in heaven??! MP

Mia!!!!! Hey girlfriend!!! I'm so glad to hear of your excellent beta jump!!! great news! And I know you and DH are definitely floating on air right now!! Can't wait to hear how WONDERFUL it is to see your little beans growing in there when you have your scan!!! You better post a piccie for us!

[Hope644]

Our Heart's Desire PRAISE and PRAYERS....

Psalm 7:17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.


MP/Mia- Praise to God for a BFP on 2/14/08!!
Beta #1 = 316 and Beta #2 = 960. First U/S scheduled for 2/25/08.


Kildean - Praise to God for a BFP!! Beta #1 = 1255!

Princess - Praise for BFP on 1/18!! Prayers for continued growth and development into a beautiful, healthy baby!!

Lord, you already know every hair on Mia's, Kildean's, and Princess' little ones heads. We pray that you continue to grow and develop them in their mothers wombs and they go on to deliver beautiful and healthy bundles of joy which they will teach your ways, O Lord.

Weezie - Prayers for you sweetie... Praying God continues to bless and keep you. Please let us know how you are

Angela - Prayers for you as well. Praying God keeps His mighty hand over you. Please send us an update.

Nikki - Prayers a healthy, fruitful FET around 4/4/08 as well as for encouragement and strength from the Lord!! And prayers for the Lord's will and guidance in the adoption process! Praise for healing!


Indie - Prayer for God's will and direction and continued unity of heart and mind with DH. Prayers for the upcoming IVF cycle. Praise for oneness of mind with DH.


Hope - Praise for healing and strength and direction. Prayers for encouragement in the upcoming IVF cycle ER/ET week of March 10-14 and lots of healthy follies! Beginning Lupron on 2/21

Sonu - Prayer for upcoming FET - March 08. Praise for the teaching job, may she be a blessing to the children she teaches as she has blessed us.

Chelly - Prayer for comfort and encouragement through the IVF process (update??!) Praying for you, dear. Please update us.

Cathann - Prayer for healthy and EVEN follies and a safe and fruitful ER on 2/18 and ET in 3-5, ?? Praying your surgery went well and you have lots of eggies waiting to be fertilized!!


Chriss - Prayers for encouragement and peace after AF's arrival. May God bless you with the peace that surpasses all understanding as you grieve and heal. Prayers for strength renewed.


Paulina - Prayers for encouragement from the Lord, that He will hear her cries and show her His love and for strength and healing after the failed cycle.


Edel - Prayers for healing and strength after chemical pg and for a safe and healthy FET next month? Thinking of you, dear... please update us. Praying for you.


Apdean23 - Prayers for a healthy and fruitful IVF cycle in Feb/March. (dates?) Prayers for health and healing with PCOS.

hrobinson - Prayers for healing with strep throat as well as a healthy cycle, when??

Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given us. Thank you for each and every person on this list. Please bless us and help us to know your will for our lives and Lord, to seek your will in all we do. Thank you God, for the blessing we have been to each other in this short time together. Please bless our friendships as we honor You! And help us, Father, to encourage and support one another through joy and laughter as well as through sorrow and tears. Teach us Lord, to love one another and others as You love us.

Draw us nearer to You, Lord, as we go through this process. Lord, whatever the path you have chosen for us, show us the way You want us to go. Grant us peace and comfort in your loving arms, Father Abba. Help us to know how our struggles and our suffering are important to you and how you long for us to grow through them and lean on You. Help us to know how to pray and for what to pray. Convict us in the areas of our lives that need correction and guide us back to the paths of fulfillment, sanctification, and righteousness.

In the Name of Your Precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

[Hope644]

So I finally got the prayer & praise list updated... I'm sure I must have left out some things, please let me know and I'll update it.

Cathann - I just wanted to say that I pray that your surgery did go well today and that you have tons of little eggies that are meeting up with little spermies as we speak! Can't wait to hear a fertilization report from you!

Nikki - How are you, sweetie? thinking of you.

Sorry I have been out for so long again. I have been very busy with work, DH and our DSSs. They keep us very busy when we have them. We had a wonderful weekend in the city, took them to Chinatown for some authentic chinese food and to enjoy the festivities of the Chinese new year and then to the Natural History Museum to see bones and mummies (great boy stuff!!! AND girl stuff too!! - I love it there!)

So, quick update on my cycle stuff - I will get my meds via mail tomorrow and will start Lupron on Thursday am. My first BW/US will be the following Thursday (2/28) if all goes as planned and AF shows up on Tuesday 2/26 (she's been consistent in the past after BCPs, so we'll see if she's gonna be cooperative after m/c the same). Funny thing, my days of week for starting are exactly the same as they have been for both of my previous cycles.... weird how it works back out to that. I had a long discussion with my RE about lots of questions, wanting to be more aggressive in our cycle, etc. and it was very good. She actually gave me a full breakdown of all my embies and how they did in the lab. I'm kind of an analyzing nut, so I wanted to do some stats on them (nerd, I know)... but it helps me feel like I'm doing something, ya know? Helps to know.

I'm still feeling a bit anxious about this cycle, but the funny thing is that I have a new peace, I pray that God is leading and directing me to fully rely on Him and place my trust completely in Him. I know that it is 100% in His hands and I pray that His will be done. I know that He has used this time to work on me and "make me what I oughta be"... but He is still "workin' on me!" as He will be for the rest of my days. I am placing all my anxiety in His hands. I know that He has offered to take my burden and lighten my yoke and give me rest. Thank you, Lord, for the mercies that you make new every day, the blessings and love that you give us and that wonderful, beautiful peace that surpasses all understanding.

Sleep well, my dear sisters.... Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

[apdean23]

Hey Ladies,

I'm so excited! It is just so uplifting to her my sister's (kildean) story, and everyone elses. The Lord is so worthy to be praise! God will sure show up right on time! My transfer is scheduled for St. Patricks day, I believe that is March 17th!!! I'm so ready!! God is so amazing!!

Talk to you guys later, will pray for all!

[Hope644]

Our Heart's Desire PRAISE and PRAYERS....

Psalm 7:17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.


MP/Mia- Praise to God for a BFP on 2/14/08!!
Beta #1 = 316 and Beta #2 = 960!! First U/S scheduled for 2/25/08.


Kildean - Praise to God for a BFP!! Beta #1 = 1255!

Princess - Praise for BFP on 1/18!! Prayers for continued growth and development into a beautiful, healthy baby!!

Lord, you already know every hair on Mia's, Kildean's, and Princess' little ones heads. We pray that you continue to grow and develop them in their mothers wombs and they go on to deliver beautiful and healthy bundles of joy which they will teach your ways, O Lord.

Weezie - Prayers for you sweetie... Praying God continues to bless and keep you. Please let us know how you are

Angela - Prayers for you as well. Praying God keeps His mighty hand over you. Please send us an update.

Nikki - Prayers a healthy, fruitful FET around 4/4/08 as well as for encouragement and strength from the Lord!! And prayers for the Lord's will and guidance in the adoption process! Praise for healing!


Indie - Prayer for God's will and direction and continued unity of heart and mind with DH. Prayers for the upcoming IVF cycle. Praise for oneness of mind with DH.


Hope - Praise for healing and strength and direction. Prayers for encouragement in the upcoming IVF cycle ER/ET week of March 10-14 and lots of healthy follies! Beginning Lupron on 2/21

Sonu - Prayer for upcoming FET - March 08. Praise for the teaching job, may she be a blessing to the children she teaches as she has blessed us.

Chelly - Prayer for comfort and encouragement through the IVF process (update??!) Praying for you, dear. Please update us.

Cathann - Prayer for healthy and EVEN follies and a safe and fruitful ER on 2/18 and ET in 3-5, ?? Praying your surgery went well and you have lots of eggies waiting to be fertilized!!


Chriss - Prayers for encouragement and peace after AF's arrival. May God bless you with the peace that surpasses all understanding as you grieve and heal. Prayers for strength renewed.


Paulina - Prayers for encouragement from the Lord, that He will hear her cries and show her His love and for strength and healing after the failed cycle.


Edel - Prayers for healing and strength after chemical pg and for a safe and healthy FET next month? Thinking of you, dear... please update us. Praying for you.


Apdean23 - Prayers for a healthy and fruitful IVF cycle in March (ET around 3/17 - St Patrick's Day! Prayers for health and healing with PCOS.

hrobinson - Prayers for healing with strep throat as well as a healthy cycle, when??

Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have given us. Thank you for each and every person on this list. Please bless us and help us to know your will for our lives and Lord, to seek your will in all we do. Thank you God, for the blessing we have been to each other in this short time together. Please bless our friendships as we honor You! And help us, Father, to encourage and support one another through joy and laughter as well as through sorrow and tears. Teach us Lord, to love one another and others as You love us.

Draw us nearer to You, Lord, as we go through this process. Lord, whatever the path you have chosen for us, show us the way You want us to go. Grant us peace and comfort in your loving arms, Father Abba. Help us to know how our struggles and our suffering are important to you and how you long for us to grow through them and lean on You. Help us to know how to pray and for what to pray. Convict us in the areas of our lives that need correction and guide us back to the paths of fulfillment, sanctification, and righteousness.

In the Name of Your Precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

[nicaliw]

Hi sisters! I just love reading through your posts.....it is so encouraging and uplifting....God is working in our lives in such wonderful ways.

Mia.....can't wait to hear if you're having twins! Only 5 days to go. I pray that you see 2 heartbeats on Feb 25th!

Klidean....keep us updated on your 2nd beta. I have also read lots of things that suggest there actually is no correlation between high betas and multiples but I have also heard a common theme that very high first betas are very likely to be a multiple pregnancy......we'll find out soon enough. When will your 1st US be?

Indie....."I'm sooooo excited to get started and it's KILLING me to have to wait on people to call me back. Seems everyone is out of the office LOL" ......ya know.....not to be negative but IVF is really trying and will test your patience over and over again....there is a LOT of waiting. For example, my first call to th RE was in May but I had to wait 2 months for my first appointment. Then I had to wait another month or so for the workup because it had to be at the right time in my cycle, then I had to wait several weeks for my operative hysteroscopy which I had in September (to remove a teeny tiny fibroid)....then I had to wait for it to heal and have another hysterscopy for my RE to visually check inside my uterus which of course had to be at a certain time in my cycle...then I was finally able to start the bcp in October and had my first embie transfer on Nov 7th.....then the agony of the 2ww followed by a threatened MC which put me on bed rest for a week while i waited to see if I had actually miscarried (complete nightmare).....then I had to wait 7 weeks for my beta to drop to zero, then I waited 2 weeks for AF.....then my RE insists on one full cycle to allow my body to get back to "normal" before doing my FET cycle.....so here I am waiting again....BUT the good news is my FET is not far off now and I'll be starting BCP in a few days so the waiting is almost over again. This is not intended to be a "poor me" rant at all or to make you feel gloomy....I'm just agreeing with you and venting about all the waiting we do. God knows I lack patience so I am sure this is all part of the work He is doing on me while preparing me for my pregnancy.
Regarding the progesterone, I used the pessaries because I was trying to limit the amount of shots. My Progesterone level was always way above the minimum level, so I can asure they work just as well as the shots. I'm not quite sure what I'll do during the next cycle because now I work the day shift whereas I worked nights last time and it was easier for me to do the pessaries. When I'm at work there's not always time to take a break and lay down for 30 mins. Sometimes all our patient beds are full so there isn't anywhere to lie. I may have to do the PIO shots which I'm not looking fwd to. I'll probably have DH do them since he did such a great job with the trigger shot last time I didn't even feel it.

Dolce......what a great happy ending.....triplets! Oh my, what a handful and a blessing. I'm transferring 3 (if 3 survive) and think I'll be blown away if I have triplets.....I'm not expecting that to happen but we shall see.

Hope.....glad you're back and its good that you're busy enjoying yourself. You're so close now....how exciting! Don't you just love that lupron??? Do you get hot sweats when using it?? I did, it really was a taste of menopause for me....YUK.

So, an update on me.... Since my LH surge was Feb 14th I expect AF will be here on Feb 29th (or around then) so I'll begin BCP's on March 2nd (only 11 days to go). So, I'm going to call my nurse today to get presciptions for my meds. I checked to see what I had leftover from last time and I had 9 BCP's and need 10....LOL so I have to get more cause I'm short by 1. I have 1.5mls of lupron left so I think I'll need more of that too.....at least it will be more afforable this time and my insurance 9that I didn't have last time) covers $1000 of infertility meds per year so I'm planning on it not costing me a dime.

I still struggle every day with having had the miscarriage. It sometimes consumes me and fills my mind with fear and doubt. I fear a repeat MC and I doubt the embryos that are frozen will result in pregnancy. I wish I could get back just a fraction of the confidence I had going into my first cycle. I am so sad at work because 3 women have recently fallen pregnant...none of them were trying and one is having twins. They constantly talking about their pregnancies and scanning each other and listening to each others baby's heartbeats. Usually I walk away and cry, but I'm getting better at telling myself that my time may be right around the corner. I don't want them to stop talking about it and being excited about their babies, I just want to be pregnant too.

I called the woman who organizes the foster care programe and signed up for the classes. My DH and I will be attending the class every Thursday night for 6 weeks beginning Feb 28th. The timing is great because the last class will be done right before my FET. The whole process up until you are able to receive foster kids takes about 3 months, so we'll probably be ready by the end of May. We're going to take babies under 6 months only and our plan is not to adopt but to simply provide a home and love and stability for babies who need it. I figure since I have this huge maternal instinct and desire to be a mother I would put that to good use and hopefully bring something good to the life of a child who needs me. Like I said, our plan is not to adopt, BUT if an infant is placed with us who becomes available for adoption we would defnitely be in favor of that. I know it sounds like a lot to take on but I feel very much like God is guiding me in this direction. I told me DH that this made me a little nervous that maybe Gods plan for us doesn't involve biological children, but He knows best and my DH reminded me there's no reason why he won't bless us with both foster/adopt children and biological children. So, I'm busy working on 2 plans right now and very happy with it. I have started preparing the baby room, since our assigned caseworker will be checking on it and expect us to be ready to take in children as soon as we get the green light. I figured now is a good time to focus on this while I'm still in a waiting phase of IVF.

Phew.....what a long post....I think that goes down as my longest post ever. I hope I haven't put you all to sleep. Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers and I will pray for all of you every day. Its such a wonderful comfort to be able to come here for support and I get such joy from reading your success stories.

OK, I'm going to play with my new toy now. I bought some software for digital scrapbooking and I just love it. It is so much faster than regular scrapbooking and since I still haven't finished my 7 yr olds baby book it is just what I need.

HUGS TO ALL!

Nikki

[cathann]

Sisters,

Here is the update on my situation. We only retrieved 2 eggs yesterday. I had a low antral count so this wasn't necessarily a surprise. My doctor called me this morning with sad news, it looks like neither of them fertilized. In addition, she said that if we wanted to try again we would have to use an egg donor. All this time we thought the only problem was with DH...looks like we both have issues. At any rate, she said that we had tried the most aggressive protocol, meds, etc. and that we had pulled out all the stops (so to speak) and she didn't think changing protocols would make any difference or result in a different outcome.

Needless to say we are devastated. I keep trying to understand what God's plan for us is and I must admit that I'm struggling. I don't understand why He's made us to suffer like we have (with DH's brain tumor and now this).

I wish you all the very best of luck. I hope you all get your BFPs soon. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and wish you the best. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Cathann

[nicaliw]

cathan....I am so sorry it has come to this for you. Would you and DH be willing to consider using donor eggs or is that not an option? How about embryo adoption??? Whatever you choose I wish you all the best for your future.

[kildean23]

cathann: I am truly sorry for what you're going through. I pray that you and DH find strength in this trying time.

[IndieBlue]

Hugs Cathann....I can't imagine your pain right now I will being praying for you.

Nicaliw: I complete get patience....I guess my rant was more on 'customer service' aspects. When the office says that someone will call you back on Tuesday...they should. That is where my issues are really, the coordinator said she'd call me back last week...never heard anything so I contacted her again (she's got her voice mail set to say she's GONE and to contact someone else...so I did). That coordinator was supposed to call me back today, nothing. I contacted our local office again and I'm going to see about going ahead with my diagnostics, since I'm sure my insurance covers those...and they'd be needed for the study too, if they ever called me back. If they don't then I can always proceed (at a much steeper price of course) with the shared risk program locally. I'm sure God will lead me where I need to be to make his plan work out I'm beginning a new bible study tomorrow called "Believing God" so I'm sure I'll be uplifted by that

Hope: Thanks for updating the prayer list What a task!!!

Kildean and Mia: I'm so excited to see the next Beta's and the ultrasounds....YAY!

[Hope644]

Cathann -

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish we had the answers.

Dear Lord, please comfort Cathann and her DH during this difficult time. Father, we know only you know the answers, but our hurt remains. Lord, hear her cry as she calls to you for help, give her comfort and encouragement as she begins to look to the future and what it holds. Lord, we know that you have a perfect plan for her and though we cannot see it clearly, we trust that you have already seen it come to be and that you will use all things, no matter how painful and difficult, to bring honor and glory to You.

We will continue to pray for God's comfort and peace, dear sister. We are here for you when you need us.