Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[lolajones]

Hi Octobuds
Just a short one to say Thank You for all your messages! Its means a lot to me having you ladies around. Virtually speaking.
ET tomorrow. Was feeling all beatific and serene, like queen of the fairies. Now just feel bloated like the Hindenberg and have pelvic pain. Am worried it'll get worse and they decide not to go ahead with transfer. See how positive I am? I am like a big fat plus beacon lighting up Central London. Is it St Pauls? Is it The Wheel? No its Lola and her shining and humungous bad attitude. Keep speculating about the embies, number, grade etc, oh shut up, please. What a gorm. I'm really getting on my own nerves. So will stop.
Thinking of you all at your various stages and sending my final molecules of positivity (smuggled out disguised as a german soldier) to you all.

Lots o Love, Lola
xxxxxx

[little R]

My friends.

I don't know who else to turn to. DH is away and I feel so alone.
Red/brownish bleeding started this afternoon and has been constant, but doesn't feel like period as not heavy enough. I have the occasional twinge in my right ovary. Called the doctor on call (he's such an insensitive *****). He literally just said "failed pregnancy", but should continue with the meds. He made me feel so worthless.

I feel tired and emotionally drained by the past 3 weeks.

I am going in tomorrow for a blood test to check the HCG levels, but I believe that my little angel has left me...

I can't cry anymore... I'm out of tears. My sadness is unbearable. I just want my DH to return home, but have another 36hours to wait now.

I hope you're OK, Lola... no news is good news, right?

Camilla, how are you? hope your follies are coming along. Sending you lots of love.

Little P...thank you for the good vibes.

I need a hug,

Little R

[Smita]

oh honey ,sending you a biiig hug to cope.. i cant imagiine how tough it is for you right now.. just go and hug your mom.
i do hope things take a turn for the better.

smita

[little R]

Thank you for your hug Smita.... Mum's gone though...so literally all alone.

Little R

[LittleP]

Little R

I'm so sorry about what you are going through - I promise you, you are not alone we are all here for you whenever you need any words of comfort.

CYBER HUGS

Just wanted to send loads of cyber hugs to you and let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care of yourself and remember we're here for you.

Love

Little P

[Cla]

Little R,
I sincerely hope that your fears are not realised, and that tomorrow will bring better news. I CANNOT believe how insensitive professionals can be.
I will be thinking of you and praying that things turn out the way we all hope. If my arms were long enough I'd squeeze until all the hurt had gone away.
Please make sure you pop in here often in the next 24 hours. You are not alone - there are loads of us sending you our love.
Cla
xx

[lolajones]

You're not alone, you have us
I'm sorry Little R but y'know, it aint over yet lovely - this could still all work out ok. I'm sending you a ginormous cuddle and will try and speed time so the next 36 hours go by in a flash and your dh will appear.

How's everyone else out there? Everything going to plan?

Had my ET this morning so am officially on the 2ww. Was fine, lots of laughs, Heart FM (Stuck On You) and have a picture of the two embies they chose that the embryologist declared as 'lovely'. OMG! Turns out 16 of the 18 eggs fertilised and they all good quality so we now have 14 embies in the deep freeze! Me and dh got a bit smug for a few minutes after that. I can't believe that our potential children are inside me. WIERD.
Anyway, am on sofa, under duvet, eating Galaxy like the Galaxy factory has been just closed down by the HSE and watching Buffy, chanting (never forget the power of the chant) IM-PLANT! IM-PLANT!

Stephanie - how did your scan go? When's your EC?
Camilla how're your follies?
Jen - when're you starting the lovely stimms?

Love and luck and positive laser beams to all the october buds!

Lots o Sweet Lovin'
Lola
xxxxx

[little R]

Firstly, WOW.... THAT is super news Lola.... I'm envious So many little ones... now rest up and get that remote control working I'll need an hourly update on Buffy. I watched 24 season 4, West Wing season 4 when I was going through the 2ww. Great excuse to OD on TV

THANK YOU for your words, my friends....I feel better already. You brought tears to my eyes.... I feel the love.... Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can feel the virtual hugs from here.

I keep chanting "It's not over until it's over!", but I want to be realistic too.

Love to all of you.... off to shower and feed myself... and the little angel too.

Little R

[slcannon]

Little R - I am so sorry you have to go through this. But you are not alone. We are all here for you and there are lots of us And like Lola said, it's not over yet. Don't let these drs get you down, they are not always right.
BBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGG hug to you .

Lola - Welcome to the 2ww. Hope you have lots of DVDs. Congrats on all the frosties also.

Camilla - Are you almost there?

Jen - Where are you with your cycle?

I went for my final scan today!!!!!!!!!! And finally I am ready. I have the trigger shot tonight and EC is scheduled for Sunday, 11/6. I have 25 follies, lots, and I am hoping that they all have good quality eggs and will fertilize. I am a little scared of developing OHSS, but dr. has lowered my HCG dose.

Sending load of PMA to everyone.

Lots of love and hugs,
Stephanie

[Inhale, Exhale]

My ladies!

I left for a couple of hours and so much has happened.

Little R- thoughts and great, big, squishy HUG comin your way. Remember, to take care of self first, then take out aggression on DH for leaving you in your time of need- no it doesn't matter if it is outta his control- yell anyway! Always makes me feel better. Poor DH is used to me by now though, He would just take the blame and the cursing.

Lola- fantabulous job! So many little ones. Here's hopin that they will be used for child #2! Pillows plumped in Uterusville? Add a mint on the pillow for good measure and have a little chat- tell them they must stay it is so lovely. Find a hobby for 2WW. I have become mad, crocheting woman. Am so terrible I haven't exactly made anything yet, as it is all crap, but gives me something to do now that exercise is prohibited. All worth it to take it easy and welcome and grow the peanut.

Luck to both you lovelies!

Good thoughts to everyone.

I am going for heartbeat scan on Monday!!

Steph

[camilla]

Dear buddies

Just checked in today and so much to read.

Little R - Just wish we could all be with you to give you the hug you deserve. It must be agonising still not knowing. Hopefully tomorrow will have the answer. Please don't give up hope.

Lola - Well done now you need to rest and we won't mind if you have a few days off! Those babies need to stick! You're on the Nov test date thread now.

Stephanie - Good luck for Sunday. Will be thinking of you.

Jen - Good luck for baseline scan on Monday. Hope you're OK.

Leigh - REST. Only a few more days to go! Can't believe it's nearly here although to you it probably seems ages.

Had another scan today and my beautiful follies are growing! Going back on Monday and hopefully will arrange EC after that. Absolutely knackered and DH has made a risotto so will be stuffed soon aswell. Early night tonight I think.

Lots of love to you all. You're the best.

Camilla xxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Stephanie-

not quite sure how I missed your post earlier, but wanted to add my message of good luck to you for Sunday!!! So.........

Good luck on Sunday!!!! Killer follie #! Well done.

Steph

[Jen1d]

Hi girls, have been away for a couple of days and i had two pages to catch up on.
Thanks to Lola, Camilla, Stephanie and Little R for thinking about me. What a difference to know there is great support here for me.

Little R - you hang in there, its not over and i am sending a big hug to you all the way from Scotland.

Lola - At least i know where to come if i need some eggs, way to go girl. How did the ET go?

Camilla - I use to live in Milan am just impressed your DH made the risotto. Hope your ok.

Stephanie - Good luck for sunday, will be thinking of you.

I am not even stimming yet and am terrified about the EC. I hope the sedation is topped up to the max. Would appreciate any advice about it and what it feels like or if you remember anything.
I am fine, not too much side affects although the gorgeous hot flushes visit me every other night. I sometimes wonder if the nasal spray is working properly as i dont really feel different although i want to eat more. Is this normal? I am terrified i will be the size of a big heffer by the time all this medi is finished.
I feel as if i am dragging behind a bit as i seem to be the only one still waiting to start stimming. Its the first time in my life that i am looking forward to having injections???? Hopefully after my scan on Mon i will get good news and move to the next stage.

PMA to you all and keep smiling

Lv Jen x

[little R]

My dear friends,

My little angel is gradually leaving me.

My HCG level crashed today....it's time to say goodbye and I can't find the words to express what I am feeling. My heart is broken. I have stopped crying because I am too tired to even muster up tears.
Once I start feeling as though I can get out of bed, the tears come raining down again. My sadness is a bottomless well.

The insensitive doctor stated that I was miscarrying and that the bleeding was normal. He wants me to keep having blood tests until my levels are at nil. It's too horrible for words. He has pronounced my little angel a chemical pregnancy and said that my body is rejecting my "bad" pregnancy....... and that I could start the cycle anytime. He forgot that we didn't have any frosties - so we literally have to start all over again. I could punch him out at this point. How stupid is he! He needs some serious educating that doctor!

I don't wish to rain down on anyone's bliss... Lola and Camilla....thanking you for always making me smile.
Little P and my other Octobies.... you're super. I couldn't have wished for a better online group to be in. Thank you for being there.
I hope all works out for each and everyone of you.... as we deserve this so much.

Much love to you all,

I may be signing off for a little while..... I have to wait for my DH to get home for my cuddle. I love him so . He was the best during this treatment.

Little R

[Sand]

Oh Little R ... I'm so so sorry it's worked out this way. I can't imagine what you're going through, but it must be in line with Hell. I hope you can find some confort in each other. Take care.

Sandra x