The Over 40 Crowd

[032323]

Ellen -Congratulations to you and dh!!!! How many embies did you transfer? Did you use your own eggs??

[teachertam]

Ellen:

Great news! Congrats on your BFP!!

Tammy

[Ilithyia]

Hi All!
Have been lurking around for a while -- amazing how much wisdom is in these pages!
I'm afraid I'm a few weeks short of 40, but I hope folks won't mind if I crash this group. It's the place I think I feel most comfortable. Back at the beginning there were contemplations about whether a 40+ group is a good idea, and I definitely think it is!

For all of those have come before, thank you for sharing your thoughts, fears, and learning. My DH and I are taking a path that includes very few people knowing about it, and I haven't brought anyone in to my closest circle of thought. It is just so hard to talk. But it is sooooo good to read. And now I'm seeing how it is to write (apologies in advance - this may be a long one)...

Had my retrieval this AM (2nd IVF attempt). Had 11 follies looking good as of 2 days ago, but only came up with 5 eggs. All from left O, as right went on vaca for the whole stim phase. 1st time thru it had been slow, but at least it had started to respond.

Last time (NOV) also had 5 eggs. Went straight to ICSI given low motility of DH's swimmers, and my age. Total fertilization failure. Now I'm basically freaking out, worried that I will have the exact same conversation with the lab tomorrow. Never in my life have I felt this helpless.

Somewhere in another thread someone talked about regaining clarity about their body being theirs, and going to an ultrasound feeling re-empowered. I think that is the hardest part of this for me. What should be happening inside, is happening without. Without me, without my oversight, without my awareness. I hate it. I can't wait until one or more are bedded down (PMA! PMA!).

I'm so sorry for being so negative!!! Of course I know it only takes one, and that often it takes a long time to get that one. I guess I'm just at that particular point on a repeater's cycle that is on the cusp of reliving the worst moment of the past, which is so real, because it was actually experienced, and not so long ago.

All you amazing women who have kept at it are my pillars at the moment! You are awesome! Thank you!!!!

[DianeC]

Hi there

I have not responded to this board for quite some time however I still [b]watch[/b] so to speak.

I am now 44 and started this journey when I was 39. After 4 years and 9 IVF attempts we are now expecting twins in July with DE.

This IVF road is a very hard road to travel for some, usually depending on outcome. The decision to pursue the very personal IVF journey sometimes requires turning many corners in the road. This could take the form of stopping all treatment, using DE or DS or altimately, choosing to use a surrogate. Whatever the decision, it is generally not an easy road to travel.

We also made the decision not to talk about our IVF experiences to anyone at least not until we were on our 7th attempt which ended in a miscarriage. As mentioned in the earlier post, it is just so hard to talk about it. Experiencing such dispair, I was propelled into talkng to my sister and one brother. These people have since helped and supported us throughout the rest of our journey. Lucky for us sharing the IVF journey brought my husband and I so much closer together, however I can imagine how much it can tear some people apart as ones coping mechanism's can be so different from person to person.

This journey is also such a roller coaster in so much that it contains hurdles all the way. From stimming, to follie growing to egg collection to fertilisation and the list goes on...support in my view is good as long as you are comforable with the people who know. Relying on your partner can sometimes place pressure on the other remembering they also have to cope with what is going on and sometimes in a way different from you.

For those who are persistant, this journey can provide some fantastic rewards whichever way you chose to go down the road. I know in my IVF journey, being persisant dispite the odds has paid off. It seems to me that keeping strong to continue is the key. Whether you get this from your partner, friends, family, counsellor, or whoever, you need to keep strong to go on. That is, if you don't run out of financial resources or your alternative decisions are impeded in some way.

Our IVF journey has not stopped. We have hardly enjoyed the good news of our impending pregnancy. We worry, worry worry. For instance, we experienced some bleeding at 15 weeks which almost had me hyperventilating - I was in shock and disbelief that something could happen NOW. We are back on track and no more bleeding but I am constantly reminded of how delicate a journey this is and do not for one day take it for granted that all is OK - when I see my babies hopefully I will relax.

A long post I know. The good thing about these boards is that I am preaching to those who know

Cheers Di

[children]

Hi Di,

Welcome and congratulationd on your pg. I can not agree more with what you have said, the worries never stop even when we are pg, in some sense, we worry even more, because we know anything happen beyond this point, is a loss of a life, which would hurt so much more! Plus, it takes 9 month to get a healthy baby, still a long journey. For us who struggled through a long journey to get pg, never can we take the fact of being pg for granted. We worry, we fear, we being over-sensitive to each little changes of our body, we read, we study, we analyse every little things about pg, we count minutes, days, month, we .... anyway, I did not mean fertile women do not worry, but I do believe that ivfers experience similar worries much more intensely. On the top of evrything, we are also too aware of the fact that an advanced age woman has not the luxury of endless ivf cycles, even for the ones who do not have finacial problems, we just have to worry!

However, we are strong, we are wise, we are experienced. We are here to share, to support each other. So we can help each other go through this long journey together.

Ellen, congrates on your bfp. Hope u still come often with ur updates.

Ilithia, welcome and keep the faith. Last time is past, we look ahead of us! Wish ur eggs just ripe enough to welcome ur DH's swimmers this time around. Wish u proceed to ET as expected this time!

Lisa in PC, welcome and anxious to know ur test result!

Tammy, I had some watery discharge today and I thought that was my broken bag of water! Got scared. Yesterday, I saw another OB and she said I was 1 cm dilated, 9 cm to go! No one is willing to predict when I am ready. I did not gain any weight since last 2 weeks - I am still in total of 15 lbs weight gain, but I swear my tummy size increases dramatically and continuesly! I am a short person, you can only see my belly now if you meet me on streets. Oh, also, my belly muscle become numb now due to excessive expansion. How are you feeling? Ready to go?

To all the rest on this thread, bless you all!

Yasmina

[BevT]

Hi everyone!!!!!

So sorry I have been absent for so long, but I see that Jen has managed to give you an update.

Life is totally hectic at the moment, a new baby certainly keeps you busy! He is absolutely adorable, we love him to bits and cannot believe our good fortune. We feel very very blessed.

As Jen mentioned, I was admitted to hospital on 8th January with the dreaded blood pressure/pre-eclampsia problems. I had hoped they would adjust my medication and let me home - but no such luck. However, as things go, it was just as well we were kept in, as 2 weeks later William's doplar scan showed that the blood supply through the cord was not as good as it had been, together with my increased indicators for pre-eclampsia, our consultant advised that he be delivered the next day. Not much time to get your head around things, but we went with the flow and at 3pm on 23rd January our precious baby boy was welcomed into the world rather hurriedly via C-section.

I am sorry that I have lost track of everyone's progress, together with not being able to keep up with all our new members. I send my very best wishes to everyone here awaiting their babies' arrivals and to those of you undergoing treatment. It is so so worth it, believe me.

More later from me, I hope, when I get time.

Lots love,
Bev and William

xxx

[032323]

Hi Bev - Congratulations - Any chance you could thyrow some babydust my way - I test on the 16th.

[teachertam]

Good morning ladies:

Wow, so much activity on this site today! I'm so glad to see all of the new names. This is a wonderful place to vent, question, post, etc. I don't know what I would have done without it.

Caz: I'm sending babydust your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just a little over a week to go. How are you feeling? I hope you are trying to relax.

Bev: It is so glad to hear from you!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad to hear that you and William are doing well. I will be 37 weeks this Sat. and am getting anxious.

Yasmina: I am going to the OB every week now, as my next appt. is this morning. I had not started dilating as of last week. I wish that I had only gained 15 lbs. Unfortunately, I've gained closer to 35 lbs. At my last visit my fundus measurement had increased 3 cm to 39 cm!! I'm really starting to think he is going to be BIG. I'm going to talk to my OB today about another scan and perhaps a C-section. Have you had a scan lately?

Di: Congrats on your BFP!!!! Yasmina is right. The worrying never stops. I remember that early in my pregnancy I was spotting after intercourse. I was freaked out and had to make a Dr. appt. that day. Luckily, it was just due to the intercourse, as my baby was fine.

Ilithyia: Good luck on your cycle. You are right that it only takes one good embie. DH and I went through 2 IUI's and 2 IVF's. We had 4 frozen eggs left over from IVF #2. We were going to give up, but our doctor insisted that we try a frozen cycle. We had an HSG x-ray test. That is where they shoot the dye through your tubes to check for blockages. It supposedly increases pregnancy rates for 2 cycles afterwards. We were waiting to start our frozen cycle and I told DH that we should try to get pregnant with one natural cycle. A miracle happened and I got pregnant naturally, with no meds, no IVF, nothing. It only took one egg!!!!!!! My doctors were amazed!! I will be 37 weeks this Sat. I am 42 and will be 43 in April.

Hello to everyone else.

Regards,
Tammy

[032323]

Hi Tammy - Thanks for the babydust!!
I have had a bit of cramping and back ache - woke up in the night cramping quite badly and was really worried but i seem better today - just the odd niggly pain - I am taking it very easy - i had a shower this morning, did my hair and make up and put my dressing gown on - I have been sat in the lounge all day with dh planning our kitchen and bathrooms for our new house that he is building - we hope to move into it in approx. 6 months time - so hopefully new house new baby!!
I hope all goes well for you with the birth. Take care of you both!!

[babyblue]

Hello everyone. It has been a couple of months since last posted. DH had a bad reaction to an antibiotic and was in the hospital at Christmas. It shut down his liver and gallbladder. We cancelled our planned January cycle, but DH is back and feeling much better. Liver and gallbladder back to normal and he is not yellow any more. We started our 2nd IVF cycle yesterday with the suppression shots and start stimms tomorrow. The EC should be 2/22 and the transfer should be 2/27.

There are a few new names since I was on here last. Welcome. This is a great thread.

So great to hear that these successful pregnancies are nearing the end for some of you. I know you will cherrish these little bundles of joy.

Diane - Thank you for your story of your journey because it gives those of us still in the midst of our journey hope.

Kim

[geckogirl]

Hi. I have been lurking on these boards for quite some time and have marveled at everyone's strength and courage with IVF and all the work that goes into it. I have just completed my first IVF (we had 2 failed IUIs) and thought everything was going ok unti we went for the transfer yesterday. At EC I had 7 eggs and 4 fertilized with ICSI. All four looked good and when we showed up for the transfer my doctor said the head of the lab wanted to talk to us. Seems that they "lost" three of the four embryos in a lab mishap! Needless to day we were shocked and devistated. They apologised and we went ahead with the transfer of the one remaining 7 celled class 2 embie. At my age (42) the odds are really against us with only one to transfer I know and am trying to be calm and hope for the best anyway. Can't stop crying though... I don't know if I can do this again...

[Kat]

Wow - so much going on here that I'm getting confused!
Welcome to all the new faces and welcome back to old friends returning.

Geckogirl - it's an awful thing to have happened when embies are so precious to us. It is true though that it only takes one so don't lose hope yet. Easy for me to say I know.

Back tomorrow with more posts, time for bed now, not supposed to be on here.... ..
Kat xx

PS Most of you won't know Dagny as it is some time since she was posting here but, if you get a minute, read her story on the general forum. If she can keep fighting then so can we all, she's an inspiration.

[wandamorales]

Hello ladies It is great to be able to talk on this message board and share with others within our age range. Well I am on day 25 of Lupron and I just started my E2 today. DH is on his antibiotic as well for the next 10 days. I have already felt the side effects from the Lupron with the headaches and the hot flashes. I am happy to move on to the next phase of E2 and my Donor is also on her meds as well. So far so good. To all you ladies that have done IVF and are still doing IVF it is a tremendous journey but kept the faith I do with God by my side every day and lots of patience. Prayers to all of you that are trying, have success and have given birth.
Wanda
Me 47
DH 46
son age 30
1st IVF w/ DE

[Ilithyia]

For the first time in months, I feel really, and deeply happy.
Called in to the lab today steeled for a repeat of no fertilization after yesterday's ICSI. Results: 5 collected, 4 mature...
.. and 2 fertilized!!!!!

I know that this is just the start in a long, long, long journey, and that each day for a very long time to come the tide may turn. But having made a big step forward, I feel like my faith is resored that this might all work out after all...

GeckoGirl: I will be sending extra special good vibes your way. I hope that your one little one is THE one. Remember, the thing about odds is that they always mean that there *is* a chance... My recommendation: a super delux massage or similar. If ever there was a time to treat yourself, this is it!

Tammy: Thank you so much for sharing your story. What a fantastic ending! Or I guess it's beginning, isn't it? You are going to have such a great tale of origins to share with your next generation...

032323: Babydust? The truck is backing up now, with a full load for you! I hope that you're feeling better.

Di: Your preaching is soooo welcome!

It is so good to hear the successes in particular in this forum. Not that success in this endeavour isn't a wonderful thing at any point, but somehow in this particular thread it is so deeply rich. For all of you posting after a sojourn away with your BFPs, welcome and I hope you keep on coming back! You are the ones holding that light way down there at the end of the tunnel...

Of course it's easy to be happy when things are going well, but then of course there's always the potential for things to shift, which tempers the highs. The great thing about all your stories is that you are living proof of the true value of persistence and perseverence; the embodiment of wisdom and grace.

Go Team!!!

[babyblue]

Ilithyia, two fertilized is great. See, prayers and presistance do work. I am so happy for you. When do you have them transferred? Keep us posted.

Wanda, you will be in my prayers as you start through this IVF cycle.

Geckogirl, That is a terrible thing what happened with your embies in the lab. I know at our age how those few eggs are so precious. One is all it takes (look at Tammy), and with faith, prayer and support, that one will be your little miracle 9 months from now. Keep your head up and above all keep your mind positive. You have to do this for that little embie that is now snuggling in and making its own sweet spot for the next 9 mo.

Tammy, great to hear that all is well. 37 weeks - wow, almost there!

32323, Are you biting your nails yet? After an IVF, the tww is grusome. Only one week to go. Keep us posted on your symptoms.

Bev, CONGRATS on the new baby boy!! Glad to hear you and he came throught it all and well.

Children, Glad to hear that everything is still progressing very well. However, your weight gain (15 lbs) is unbelievable. Did you not crave anything through the 9 mos. or you must be VERY self controlled. You may have to right a book on how not to over gain through pregnancy.

Diane, I forgot to say CONGRATS on the twins due in July. Has it been hard on you carrying twins at 44? I am 46, and my family (parents and in-laws) are so worried about the IVF at my age because of high risk of multiples. DH and I would love multiples, or whatever God gives us. After you had the bleeding at 15 weeks, did they put you to bed the remainder of the pregnancy?

Ellen, CONGRATS on your BFP. Was this your 1st IVF? I'll have to read back a little further and catch up. Take very good care of yourself.

Does anyone experience night sweats from lupron injections? I don't think I noticed this from the lupron on my 1st IVF. I am taking Micro Lupron this time, but I would think the side effects would be the same. This is day 3 of the Micro Lupron and I woke up in the middle of the night last night soaking wet. I know its not the stimms because I just started those this a.m.

Kim