May/June Cycle Buddies

[jenn]

Hello!!

Welcome to Literatriz and Hrobinson and Jul1e!!!!!!!

Hrobinson- I was cleaned out of the endo after my first try. I got a BFN! I pretty much know it has come back at least a little. My cramps have gotten worse and worse. BCP will keep it from growing though. I asked about having the Lap. done again before 2nd attempt and my Dr. said she didn't think it was necessary, but if I pushed for it she would do it. It WAS NOT a fun surgery so I opted no! I hope I don't regret it!

Jul- I thought I would be the first to be preg. too! I think I will be just about the last It is hard I know!!

So Jen I guess we are not close but kind of? It sounds like you are way south of me!

Carolyn thank you for answering me! Don't be scared about tomorrow, we will all be thinking about you, and hoping everything goes great! Let us know what happens.

Shantala- glad your clinic finally got back to you! Doesn't it suck that there usually isn't an answer to the question "why did i get a BFN?" It sounds like they have tweaked your plan. That's great! I know I was glad to see change after my cycle didn't work. It made me feel like they were paying attention to my body, and trying their best to help me get pregnant!

PMA- so you believe in the power of your dreams too huh? I dreamed i was pregnant the other night out of the blue. I am NEVER pregnant in my dreams. But there I was! I woke up feeling very peaceful and like it really will happen one day. I just have to be patient!

Ok i just realized what time it is and DH and I have a date tonight with some work people. Gotta go get dolled up!!

Later!

[PMApsy]

whoa whoa whoa! Big posts all of a sudden! keeping the thread going, I like that!

Just a quick reply before I leave for my flamenco lesson:

Shantala: so good to hear from you sweetheart! I'm really sorry that your clinic took so long to call you back and that they did not modify more things. Not always super necessary, but it's always reassuring to know that they are adapting. But they are supposed to know their stuff, so... did you ask them about their rationale for not doing a blood test and relying only on an HPT? If you get the chance, I'd really like to know... (because I care about you darling!) I see that you've changed your signature... no need to justify, dear! Age is just a number. Heck, my husband's only (but deliciously permanent) rival is 33 years older than me, so I sure won't judge, lol! As long as you're happy, it's what's important! Hey, about the credit card, I find it amazing that your DH is jumping it so willingly. It's a great show of support and I find it very generous and sweet. It's so essential to feel our partner's support through all this! *hugs* I'm really excited for you and I'll be looking forward to seeing you being your next cycle! And by the way, why didn't you go for FET? Didn't you have frozen embies? Three if I'm not mistaken?

Jenn: yes, I do believe in the power of dreams. With reasonable skepticism, but still. I also believe in reincarnation, so sometimes I wonder if that moment was simply a replay from a previous life... but that little girl was just such a combination of my DH and me that I strongly lean towards the premonition side... Who knows? Time will tell! Have fun on your "date" tonight!

Carolyn: yes, I was offering to do a list, and since Shantala did such a good job on the Dec/jan thread, and probably still has the structure for it, I thought she could maybe use it here? We'll have more and more trouble remembering each other's stories and info soon. Hunny, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and I hope you get the tests you want. Accurate info, no matter how difficult to hear, is indeed preferrable and I'm glad you're thinking that way. I'll keep everything crossed to hear you report encouraging news though!

Okay, gotta run! Take care ladies and have fun!

Sophie

[TansRN]

Hello Ladies....

Wow it has been so busy on here today!!! That is so awesome! So much support. I am getting really excited and making plans around the fact that I will be preggo in a few weeks here. I am so excited for aunty flo to come for a visit! Woo Hoo! I can't believe that I am actually saying that outloud. I really can't. I really never say that! Anyhow...things are going well. I get my calendar on April 3rd and I will of course let you all know what is going to happen there and then I can get the rest of the medicaitons ordered. It is all happening so fast! Very exciting!!!

By the way what is a "flare" cycle?

Sophie
Flamenco sounds like so much fun! I would love to be able to do that!

Jules
So glad that you could join us. You never know girlie this may be the one!!! Neat that you will be an aunt to IVF babies!

Literatriz
Who cares about age. We are all gathered here to try to make our dreams come true. My DH doesnt want to talk about it as much as I do so this is where I come to vent! and to chat and girl cackle! LOL husbands never want to talk as much as we do....

hrobinson
That is sooo exciting that you got your calendar already! I am so jealous! hehe. I dont get mine until next week. I think that they just want to see if the anticipation will kill me! LOL I will be here to cheer you on!

Shantala
I do understand what you are saying about a second mortgage. I am just about having to do the same thing. It is nuts. Why can't those people work for free? LOl I just want the chance at a baby thats it and it is going to cost a fortune....oh well. Par for the course right?

Carolyn
Yeah I am gearing up and I am more and more excited about it every day and I will be starting Lupron on April 13th and AF is to come on the 20th. I am happy about all of this. So excited about things once again and I cannot wait to see the double lines!!! woo hoo two pink lines here I come!!!

Jen and Jenn-I hope that you are doing well tonight!

talk to you later...working nights-ugghh!

[CarolynB]

Just a quick drop by as trying to fit in some work (ARGGHHH) between doctor and consultant.........

Tanya - flare/short cycle is where you do not down reg (sniff or inject) at all. You start straight into stimmies and then they give you other jabs to ensure that you do not ovulate before EC. They sometimes use if you don't respond great. Often do it on 2nd/3rd attempt as they don't like to use first time in case they over stimmie you. Hope that this makes some sort of sense

Sophie - Cool. You and Shantala on list duty. Thanks for offering. I did for my first couple of boards but can never make it as pretty with all the sparkles. Think that Aunty P set the standard for lists!! Sure that you and Shantala can make look lovely

So quickly. Went to gp. She was very nice and helpful. All my notes are bursting out of the file - there are so many of them. Well she asked if they knew why it was not working - I wish. She talked a bit about my tubes & the fact that even if they were repaired that they would still be problematic. We talked a little about when to draw the line. She thought that a new clinic would be good for me emotionally as well as the fact that they might try something different physically. And she agreed to do get all the blood work done for me at the local hospital. RESULT!!!! Saving of £330 - it all helps when you are paying for the whole lot ourselves. Good work for a morning off work Even small things feel like such an acheivement.

Consultants -ve review this afternoon - let's hope he tells it too us straight but it is not too bad news.

More later.

Love and hugs to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxx

[jenn]

Carolyn- sounds great! Good job and good luck at your next appointment!!!

Tanya- Carolyn gave a great explanation of flare cycle! I did the BCP's last time for a month and then a big lupron injection, and waited for AF, then started. This time on Day 3 I start stimms and tiny doses of lupron. Dr. told me big doses of Lupron stop your AF alltogether. Tiny doses actually somehow make the ovaries produce more eggs. I was an underachiever in the egg making department! She said for my age, I should be making more! Oh well, we can't all be perfect at everything!!!

Gotta go get ready, talk to you all later, have a great day!

[hrobinson]

I love reading everyone's posts. You guys are all so positive. I don't know how we can ever get down with this much PMA!!!

CarolynB- My daughter, Shelby, is going to be 2 next week. She is definately my "miracle" child. I cannot imagine life without her. We wanted to try last summer for another one, but because of polyps we put it off for a year. I just got my polyps taken care of 3 weeks ago, so I am ready to go again.

I love hearing you guys talk about the financial struggles. It makes me realize my dh and I are not alone in this. When we did the first one, I put it all on credit card. WE were in the process of selling our house, and once the house sold we made enough profit to pay for the IVF. It won't be as easy this time. I joke that we have to put our "baby" on lay away. I just hope (if I get a BFP) that the "baby" is paid off before she is born. hehehe

[CarolynB]

So just back from follow up review and dashing out so apoologise up front that this is about me and no personals. On way out with a mate who is here from France and has same issues as all of us. At least we shall be able to gas about it all nigtht with no dhs around.

Well my consultant was a star - a real pro in my book. He ran through cycle 3 . Good numbers, good fert rate - yet again. He was quite happy that 2 made it to morula (blast better) but given that 2 got that far was even more mystified as to why it will not work for us. No real answers other than the eggs that we have picked so far cannot be the ones - but very rare to have issues with all eggs so there should be some good ones in there. Arggghhhh. We asked about donor and he said that he would be recommending that if we had less eggs or poorer fert rate but for us I was still responding very well so he did not want to recommend that straight away.

His answer was frozen cycle just to try something new/different. We have 6 snow babies from cycle 1 but have left them aside given my age to crack on with fresh protocols.

We then told him that we were considering 1 last fresh somewhere else so that we could feel happy that we had thrown everything at the problem. He was totally cool & supportive. Take my hat off to him. No snipes. No getting rid of us out his office. He said that he could understand given what we had been through. That was the only point that I felt a bit teary/chocked.

Even debated fresh versus frozen next. He said do Fresh next before I get older! He'll then have us back for frozen (he even joked about that being for a brother or sister - I wish/in my dreams) but was fairly clear that more than 4 Fresh was very low odds (down to less than 5%).

We then talked about donor. They will help us go to Madrid even if we go elsewhere for a fresh cycle next. 3-6 months wait list but he could get me on the list for there in parallel with last frozen cycle. Odds with donor are 56% for 1st cycle. They will support us with all the scans etc. He said that they were doing 1 per week there & had moved away from IM in Barcelona as they had issues and were not happy with all the patient care so now it is Madrid. Sounds nice for next autumn/winter.

So think that we have a plan - Fresh @ new clinic (argc), Frozen @ Hammersmith (should that be maybe 2 as we have 6 snow babies?), then Madrid here we come.................... that amounts to only 3 or 4 more cycles so almost half way through the rollercoaster ride. Hope that chat has got dh more on board for a donor. We will also no doubt be bankrupt at the end of all this.

It does help to have a plan - even if it looks like a huge mountain ahead to be climbed.

Love and hugs to you all.
Carolyn
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[TansRN]

Hi Gang
Carolyn it sounds like things are going well for you! I am so thrilled about that. So much fun for you to be able to go out with your friend...sometimes i just really need some girl time ya know to laugh about all kinds of things with a little alcohol!!! LOL It sounds like you have a good plan in action and a good back up plan. That is what we all need-it makes it easier to go through knowing that you have a good plan and something to look forward to-just in case! Thank you for your explanation on the Flare cycle. That was interesting to hear about.

hrobinson
We are in the same boat financially! It is nuts. I really can't believe it can cost so much to have a kid! Also I thought that your comment about lay away and having the kid paid off before it is born!! AAGGGHHH that was so funny......and true. LOL I am thinking the same thing. That was too great.

Jenn
Thank you for your words about the flare cycle. I had no idea about the lupron. Last time I did one big lupron shot and now I am doing the 2 week thing. We shall see if it works even better than the last time.

Not much else going on here. DH is going to look at the book of DS to pick "himself" out!!! He is so funny with all of that. We need to get the specimen ordered so I know that we have the one that we want. We are going to be doing ICSI again. I was just looking at the calendar and AF is not that far away. and I am trying to plan my life around all of the u/s's and appointments that I will need. My friends are calling and are like do you want to go here or there at the end of April and I am telling them I can't and I have to work...blah blah blah. I should be talking to them but it was so hard when I lost the baby because everyone was calling and asking me about it and I hated it. I know that they just cared about me and stuff but it was hard so we have decided not to say anything. That is another reason why it is so important to have a place to come and talk!!!

Chat later...

[PMApsy]

Hello ladies!

OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!!!

Well, DH and I had a discussion in the car on our way home an hour ago. We compared the pros and cons of doing a frozen or fresh cycle. Here's the rationale; if you see that we're missing something important, please speak up!

We have four frozen embies. Two of them are borderline fragmented and will almost surely not make the thaw. And the two that remain might meet the same fate. Basically, with four embies, there are pretty high chances that we'll have none to transfer, or only one. And even if it is the case, we only have 10-15% chances of getting pregnant. So either way, it looks like I'll have to go through another fresh cycle anyway, either because I would get a BFP on a frozen cycle but we would want another child (we want 2) or because no embie survived the thaw, or because I get a BFN.

There's also the fact that I'm dreading the fresh cycle a little bit, especially the egg retrieval, even if I stayed very calm through the procedure... it still s**ks to be on the meds all that time and I got a LOT of post-retrieval pain during three days because I had internal bleeding. It might not happen this time, but still... So better do it sooner than later, I think.

And then talking about that with DH, I realized that we would be able to start a fresh cycle with my next AF! It's silly to be so excited about it, because LOL, it would mean the same time frame, or even longer! I would start stimming around mid-May and transfer towards the end of the month! It would still be a Feb. 2008 baby! But you guys understand the logic in that sillyness... it means I would start the cycle sooner... I would be able to start during my trip to Egypt, as it would only be a matter of taking the BCP; no problem there! My AF is due to start right before or during the trip (third week of April), so...

So, given that our odds are way better with a fresh cycle, we decided to go for it. According to what my doc said, I can start with my next AF (third since the last cycle). I called the clinic and left a message to my doctor, asking his approval and of course a prescription for all the meds we'll have to buy. Financially, it would have been better for me to wait until after June 18th for a fresh cycle (I have a certain amount of money frozen in my account... investment), but the heck with it. We'll mange. Yup, credit card for me ladies!

I'll do things differently this time, though. Though my two closest friends did their best during my last cycle, I had to explain them my needs a couple of times and they really tended to be absent in key moments. So you know what? I won't tell anyone this time. I won't even have to. The cycle's timing won't interfere with my flamenco rehearsals (and I'll still be able to do the show just fine; should happen just before stimming starts), so... really, the only one who might have to know is my boss if I have to take sick leaves. And even then, he doesn't have to know why.

Bottom line is: I'll have you guys! Shantala sweetie, when is your expected start date? Just curious to know how close we'll cycle together. Tanya, I think we'll be 2-3 weeks apart?

Okay... we do need that list! Shantalaaaaaa?

HA! Here I am, all excited! It's really better to be looking at a protocol that gives us both much more hope! Ah, what a relief! And well, if we don't get that BFP, all our frozen embies will be given a chance next. Hopefully, we'll have even more, which will give us more chances.

Okay, enough about me! Personals!!

TansRN: since you're experienced in this, I won't say it too loud, but... hehehe one thing I learned from my first cycle is to stop trying to organize things around possible dates for this and that and this... for one thing, it often makes AF VERY uncooperative, and secondly, it usually gets changed 100 times along the way anyway! But eh, I can't say I don't understand 100% the want to calculate and plan... gives you the impression do do something during the long wait!! I understand you completely about wanting to keep it quiet! I'll do the exact same thing! And I'll start cheering for AF already! woohoo!

Carolyn: I am SO glad that you got lots of detailed info! Of course, one would always like to know exactly why things didn't work out... but still, it's always better to be told your "cycle history" by someone who knows what they're talking about. So basically, you're planning quite a few cycles coming up! And the next one will be a "regular" fresh one, right? But at a new clinic. Do you plan to start with your next AF? I totally get what you mean with the teary/choked part... it is hard to speak about those things without getting emotional at some point, no matter how controlled you want to be. It's so fundamental... *hug* And don't worry about the huge mountain sweetheart! We'll all be there cheering you on while you climb it one step at a time!

hrobinson: LOL about paying the baby off before s/he is born!

Okay, gotta go make dinner! Salmon patties with carrots with cranberries!

Take care,

Sophie

[TansRN]

This may sound dumb but what does PMA mean???

Sophie
You are so funny and just by reading your post I got all excited all over again. I feel like i have won a big trip or something. I feel like jumping for joy for you because I know how exciting it really is to be waiting for AF!!! I am so happy for you and we will only be a few weeks apart....only a few weeks apart in due dates in Feb 2008!!!! woo hoo! That is awesome! I am really really happy for you. Great news!

[hrobinson]

Good morning ladies.
Quick question (not IVF related). I have checked for the web page to notify me when a reply is posted, yet I never get notified. Any idea why this happens?
Anyhow, I hope everyone is doing well. I want you to know how excited I get when I read y'alls posts. It seems forever away before I am to start the whole process, but just hearing you guys talk makes me giddy. It sure does make the time pass quicker.
Can't wait until someone gets a list going of who starts what when. It is amazing how confusing it all is...just keeping track of myself sometimes is a problem
I get jealous of you guys talking to your clinics, having appointments etc. Being as I am 450 miles from my clinic, I won't even go see them until June 1st (I think). They will just have the meds sent to me at the house and I am on my own!!!
Only 54 days until I start Lupron. Weird how I am so excited about all the meds I will be taking.
Well, off to teach the little ones. Have a wonderful day:)

[PMApsy]

ooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaay! here is my attempt at a first list! If there is something missing, a phrasing you don't like, a smiley you don't find appropriate, just go ahead and tell me! And please keep in mind that someone will have to take over the list while I'm away in France/Egypt (Shantala, given that we won't be away at the same time, do you think you could take over?) I can almost guarantee an update every day, provided that you flag me your personal updates with something like Sophie, I'd like you to add/change *** on the list... at the bottom of your posts.

I know some titles will be irrelevant for a while, but I wanted to show them for now and get suggestions right away; I'll keep the canevas somewhere and wait until we have names to put in there to paste those sections again.

All comments are welcome, links for prettier smilies too (if you can find one that meditates, I always loved it!); please give me clear hints as to where to place you and you'll be updated!

Oh and Tanya, PMA means Positive Mental Attitude... I'm a psychologist, hence the PMApsy!

Our proud moms-to-be

Going through the 2ww

(we'll need your beautiful clock image Shantala)

Embryo transfer


Egg retrieval

Ovarian stimulation


Ovarian vacation
hrobinson.... starts Lupron May 22nd

Birth control pill
hrobinson.... Fresh cycle

Waiting for AF
TansRN.... Fresh ICSI cycle
Jul1e.... Fresh cycle
PMApsy.... Fresh cycle

Eagerly waiting for cycle to begin

Shantala.... Fresh ICSI cycle
Jen779.... FET cycle starts 1st week of May
Jenn Fresh cycle (flare protocol) starts in June
CarolynB....Fresh cycle??
Literatriz....??

In our thoughts and prayers

[jenn]

PMA That list is beautiful!!! Thank you! great Job!!!

[TansRN]

I loved the list too! I have no idea how to put all of those moving things on there! They are so cute. Good Job!!!

[TansRN]

Thank you for the note on the PMA-it makes much more sense now!