6 week pregnant/no heart beat.

[dcu917]

hi ionlywant1,

thank you so much for your post. it seems like i can't find anyone who understands as much. my closest friend, who is like a sister to me, has been great. she has had two miscarriages, one like yours (empty sac) and one like mine (no hb). she has had 4 kids. she had her first mc after her oldest daughter was born and they told her between that and the fact that her uterus was tilted that she may have a difficult time having another child (and she was 28/29 then)! guess they were wrong. so, we can talk about these things, esp because she's been through the same thing, but it's different, because she has 4 healthy thriving children at home. my mom is like my best friend, is always there for me, and is very positive, but she had me and bro when she was 24 and 25, and never had any problems. my aunt couldn't have kids, was married at 18 and tried for over 20 years..they didn't have the treatments they have now, but she tried everything she could then. she and my uncle enjoy a great marriage together (over 50 yrs now), and she said it was hard when she was going through it but now she finds that she is ok with it. she would have adopted, but my uncle didn't want to.... and the examples go on and on...and on. but, i guess what i'm trying to say is that everyone seems to have a story, but in the end, with treatments nowadays, most seem to get what they want, and i feel like i'm being left in the dust. i'm older, and i'm usually a very positive, can do type person, but i have no control over this. i can't work harder, work longer, perservere more, to get what i want. i lost my loving dad 3 years ago in an accident and that, like this, is like having to accept/deal with something as if someone is shoving something down your throat that you don't want to eat. i'm sorry to sound so glum, but i am just trying to get my feelings out.

the RE suggests a d&c for me with pathology testing on the fetus to help give another piece of information as this is my 3rd loss. so, i go next wed for that. i'm nervous that i may bleed before then, but so far all i've had is some sporatic minor cramping and no spotting.

i hope that you have success in your next cycle or whatever your next decision is. i pray that you, too, will get what your heart desires!

[ionlywant1]

dcu917 I agree that its nice to talk to people that know exactly what I'm feeling. Without the internet, I think I'd be curled up in fetal position feeling isolated. I had DH take me to Vegas this weekend. I think it was just what I needed. Had a lot of great food at great restaurants, had a little bit of booze and I gambled on the casino's tab. Nothing extravagant, just 25 cent slots but I won $120! Had a chance to observe all the young people there and learned something -- live for today, no regrets for yesterday. Still doesn't make the ordeal easy to swallow but maybe it makes it taste less bitter.

I pray that your d+c goes smoothly on Wednesday. Hopefully you'll get some clues on how to make your next cycle more successful and give you hope. I'm sure your RE will also test for clotting disorders and autoimmunte stuff. You hang in there.