Message for Caz 2

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Sat Nov 22, 2003 4:34 pm

will def got and buy thanks!

maxbabe · Post by **maxbabe** » Sun Nov 23, 2003 10:15 am

Hi Caz, I just had to reply to your concerns over your clinic choice. I was very blessed (but also quite ignorant) when I got pregnant nearly five years ago, I now have a lovely 4 year old daughter. We went with Kings in SE London, must say although briefly looked around chose them because they were very nice and also handy to get to and from work and near my house. I had no idea about anything back then, maybe too much knowledge makes us mad!!!! But we did conceive first time round on ICSI. What I loved about Kings (its NHS but we had to go self funded - bit cheaper than private clinic) is that they made you feel like you were the only couple they were treating, they were organised and it wasn't about taking your money. I now know quite a few people who have had succesful treatments there and all have sung their praises.(spelling???) We are now going through our second attempt trying for a sibling and of course at Kings, they have moved offices but they are still wonderful and there are still some people that were there nearly 5 years ago, must be good place to work! The same lady who took my eggs last time took them this time round - wow! Anyway I am sitting here day 7 of my 2ww, feeling quite stressed and unsure but wannted to let you know that if you are not happy please look around, there are some great places out there. All the very best of luck I'll let you know the outcome next week

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 23, 2003 7:25 pm

Hi Caz Millie is definately right........we have far too much time to think about things with this whole process. Sometimes if I think too long about the Donor sperm side of things, I come to all sorts of ridiculous conclusions, but like you we have one attempt at ICSI with Donor backup and thereafter it is donor and ultimately our only option and the bottom line is (from our standpoint) it is still a bloody good option because it ultimately gives us what we want........a much longed for baby and I think once you test positive, the donor side of things will shrink to insignificance and you will get on with the preganacy and birth of your and your DHs baby with it eventually becoming a fleeting thought only! I am so glad that my treatment is fast approaching as it means we can get on with things and stop analysing the ifs, whats and maybes! Sad as it may be, I have resorted to regular trips to Selfridges to cheer me on......generally on the way to or back from the clinic......what the heck, it keeps me sane and gives me something else to think about!! Keep in touch Jenxx

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:55 pm

HI ladies Jen - shopping, it IS the answer! Was talking to a very good gorlfriend whos just had her 2nd, and she was saying the thing that makes her love her baby so much is not that she looks at him and thing "O hes got my genes", but that hes just SO totally dependent on her. So I think what your saying about once the baby arrives (if we're lucky enough) everything else fades into insignificance is bang on. Deep down I've always know that donor was our bext solution. of course we'll give the ICSI thing another go, but we're really fighting the odds....I kind of just want to get on with it...whatever way we can to get pg! Max - thanks for the suggestion I will def check it out. Finally spoke to the LFC and they were really nice and very keen on my going back there - so that was a bit of a relief! How are you guys all doing today? Take care Cazx

millie19 · Post by **millie19** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 10:49 am

Hi girls, lovely to read all your messages as always. Will definitely be popping out lunch time to get that magazine. Jen, I can promise you, you are absolutely right about the donor thing fading into insignificance, everything is put well into perspective once that baby arrives and as long as they are ok then so is everything else. We all know deep down that its not the conception of the baby that is the most important thing, it is us providing the best parenting that we can, and all the loving that we can possibly give. When you see how much they love you back and that you are the centre of their world, you will know how right you were about this. We, like Max, are now trying to conceive a sibling but since my daughter was born we have had 7 failed DIUI's (a polyp removal in between there somewhere but still no success) and a failed IVF. I have now started my injections which will continue for 14 days and then egg collection and my clinic do a Day 3 transfer so in two and a half weeks I will be on 2WW. Doesn't sound like long but why does it feel like a lifetime. Unfortunately we have really long trips to get to our clinic as we don't live in London but just wanted to try and get a good clinic which we don't seem to have locally. We were originally at St. Georges, which is where we conceived our little girl ( so will always be grateful to them!) but when they closed we were stuck. They wanted to refer us on to Kings, which knowing what I know now from one of your posts, we would have been happy to do but at the time felt we didn't just want to be pushed on to where they said we should go, but do our own research and thats how we came up with UCH but the long journeys really get me down. I only work two days per week as we have our little girl so also money is becoming an issue so am starting to feel a little pressured - but we all know what thats like!! Caz, so glad you are happy with your clinic situation again, you really don't need worries about that on top of everything else do you. Once we've read the article in Real Magazine, perhaps we could post our thoughts? Millie x

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 6:45 pm

HI THERE i HAVENT FOUND THIS MAG - SO ANNOYING! DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THERES A WEBSITE - OR DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO SCAN THE ARTICLE IN!!!!!?? I WOULDNT DO! WOULD LOVE TO CHAT ABOUT IT. HOWS EVERYONE DOING? I AM FINE - QUITE CHEERED AS DH SAID YESTERDAY ...."WE WILL DEFINATELY HAVE CHILDREN , WHATEVER WE NEED TO DO" IN A WAY THAT MADE ME THINK HE GUENUINELY IS COMING ROUND TO THE WHOLE DI THING (IF IT COMES TO THAT). SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY SILLY SMALL THING- BUT ITS BEEN WEIGHING ON MY MIND SO MUCH, IT WAS SUCH A RELIEF TO HEAR HIM SAY IT WHAT A ROLLERCOSTER EH? ANYWAY - KEEP ME IN TOUCH - HOPE TO BE ABLE TO CHAT ABOUT THE ARTICLE WHENEVER CAZXX SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS LOCK!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 7:20 pm

HI Caz/Girls I actually forgot about this mag until you mentioned it!! So glad to hear your DH is coming round to the DI thing...at least you can focus entirely on your treatment now!! Nothing very exciting my end, just waiting for AF (when it decided to come this week some time) then I have to go in for a scan and they will start my cycle for EC mid/end Jan! Have you any dates for anything yet? Keep in touch guys, hope everyone else is well!?? Jenx

Lisa_P · Post by **Lisa_P** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 8:37 pm

Caz I've got the magazine and have finished reading it. I'd be more than willing to send it to you. If you want, email me at lisa@us2.me.uk with your details and I'll send it over. It is a good read! Started sniffing yesterday, on my 2nd diui cylce. Doing a short protocol and going for my baseline scan on Wednesday. Hope you are all well Lisa x

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 3:06 pm

Hi Guys Hope you are all well and not too stressed about Christmas/other things!! I had my baseline scan on Monday and start injecting Buserilin on 30 December. I think we are due to egg collection/my DH biopsy mid Jan. We have got our donor backup sorted out. This is our one and only ICSI and only hope of our own child. Please keep your fingers crossed and say some prayers!! It is quite nerve wrecking but I am glad it is underway and eventually we will know the exact direction we are going. Good luck to you all Love Jenx

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 5:34 pm

Hi Jen good to hear from you - sounds like all going to plan so far. I SO hope it works out for you both. Really sensible to havea donor back up - we stalled on that a bit last time. How did you choose in the end - or have you left it up to the doctors (which i can see the sense in doing!)?? Having a bit of a down day today - I HATE my job at teh moment and a friend has just had her first baby - and to put in bluntly I have SEVERE LIFE ENVY - which is a bit crap. Didnt help that she said - "people who dont have kids just miss out on this most amazing experience" - errr yeah thanks!! Anyway - bit grumpy - sorry! How are all you other girlies doing?? Cazxx

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 10:07 pm

Hi Caz Come on....chin up girl!! Ignore the buggers....people can be so insensitive, just because things were so easy for them, they never stop to think for one moment that others could have a problem!! As for the job, if it is any consolation.....I HATE mine! I am studying for a degree at the moment after being in the Pharmaceutical Industry for eight years and I am working in a shop three days per week.........I am sooooo bored.......but right now I am kind of grateful for being bored and not stressed! As for the donor, we did not have much choice, my husband is 6ft tall and blonde and as you could imagine they are hard to come by in the UK so out of a choice of two, one happened to be very good. How are your treatment plans progressing?? Keep in touch Jenx

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 6:49 pm

HI jen God I'm So excited for you - remind me EXACTLY what your timetable is now - I'm actually v jealous that yr getting on with it - wish I was - am incredibly impatient all of a sudden. I think its a combo of being SO SO fed up with my job and having friends with babies and it being christmas. I wouldnt say I'm depressed but I just feel like I'm in the wrong "space". I've stopped caring about my job and / or money and just want to move out of town and have babies and dogs! O dear - so much for womens lib! We have appointment with LFC on 29th - to discuss donor backup and protocol for next ICSI - which will start in Feb ( we're off on hols in jan!!). Now am literally just counting the days until my holiday. What degree you doing? So impressed....I really dont think I could ever sit another exam ever. Am so pissed off with my job - but just cannot think of what else to do - its because all I really want is to be a mum - really "done" the career thing. O dear - this is losing talk!! It REALLY is unlike me to be moaney - I promise! Keep in touch. Cazxx

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 19, 2003 2:48 pm

Hey Caz Hope Christmas preparation is going well!! The friends and babies thing really gets to me too.......I know it sounds terrible but I really find it hard to be happy for them...they all take it so much for granted, as I did I suppose until this happened......anyway, I won't start moaning!! Right now I am on the pill until Dec 30 then I inject with Buseralin and then Jan 2 I have a scan whereupon, I will start injecting with the second thing...all being well and depending on the date of DH biopsy! Glad things are moving along for you, at least you can come back refreshed and ready for action!! ......like you though, I can't wait to be a Mum, which is why i am doing the degree as it is something that I can work at but still concentrate on being a mum which there is no way I could in my previous job! Speak soon and never worry about moaning......I do plenty and thats what were here for!!! Jenx I am doing a degree in Interior Design, it is the only thing keeping me sane!!

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Sun Dec 21, 2003 6:32 pm

Interior design ! Wow I'd love to do something like that. Is it hard? How long does the degree take - do you do it from home? Am so looking forward to end end of 2003 - just feels like its been a REAL struggle! Might strat a new thread for 2004 what do you think!? Keep me up to date with yr tmt - so hope it goes well for you. I have appointment at clinic on 29th - to discuss protocol for next tmt cycle (cant say I'm relishing the prospect). By the way - do you get the MAil on Sunday - Normandie Keith writes a bit in the magazine bit (shes had 3 failed IVFs I think...her dh has no/low sperm after cancer tmt) - shes real quite interesting on teh subject - has been to this amazing place in I think, Sussex? All holistic treatment etc - but specialised in fertility - quite intersting. Anyway - hopefully you wont be needing all that! Cazxx

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Tue Dec 23, 2003 4:36 pm

HI all - was just looking thru this thread - gosh there are SO many of us....oddly , and dont know if any of you agree, but its almost comforting to know that I'm not alone and that lots of other people have similar "issues" as me and dh. was "kids in work" day today - and for the first time I found it incredible depressing. I just want them SOOOOOOO much, and its of course about the ONLY thing in life that you cant control. I just feel like abandonning the whole ICSI/IVF thing on the basis that its just going to take so long and probably not work....and just going straight to the clinic for di. But of course I KNOW I cant do that....for dh's sake....although I've definately had enough of waiting and the thought of going thru the whole IVF thing again - well , need I say more?! MAybe this is just a tough time of year? Dunno. Sorry to moan (doesnt help that I'm a bit pre menstrual too!). Think I might have a glass of wine! Cazxx

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