OCT / NOV / DEC 2008 Buddies

[wonderce]

Hi,
I just heard back from my RE on bloodwork this morning. I'm on day 3 of stims and my E2 was 143. They increased my dosage this cycle since I was only 59 on day 3 last cycle. Does anyone know if this is a good level? I don't go for another scan and bloodwork until Thursday. I'm getting anxious already.

Congrats Adjec! We're all sending positive baby thoughts your way! NY4thtry, good luck to you too starting on Monday.

[Kas101]

hey ladies,

Jenn
Good to hear from you, and i feel your pain.. Yes its a huge deal and as i remember telling you i was in a lot of pain for at least the first 72 hours, but it does get better and you feel an improvement day by day. I cannot imagine vomiting -OOOWWWW!!! i thought i was going to pass out when i coughed!!! I spent the first few nights on a pull out bed we had as it was low, flat and hard and i was so tender i was scared DH would bump into me in the night. I also couldnt get out of our bed to use the bathroom, just couldnt use any stomach muscles. I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE... THe good news is you will be cycling real soon. I start bcp's in Nov then stim in Dec so we may even be on the same schedule.....

ajdec
Yay congrats on the transfer!!!!! I totally get why you chose to transfer just one and its good to know you have lots of frosties as a back up plan, or hopefully as a brother or sister for this little one!!!! SO relax, you are now officially PUPO and enjoy!!!!

natashamom
welcome to the board!! So you will have a donor embryo!!! How exciting !!! Keep us updated and let us know how everything progresses....

Robin
Congrats on finishing the bcp's, now you REALLY get to start going and soon the injections will seem like second nature - glad you have butterflies - its a cool thing to be excited about!!! let us know how you go...

Karen
Hey, great job updating the board all the time, big thanks. I'm also done with that book so will do a mini synopsis soon as i know youwere interested along with one or 2 others.....

To Have Fun
Hey if you're checking in on us, hope you are having a great time and blow out before getting down to the serious business of baby-making!!!! We miss you lady...

As for me, well not much to report - i had a busy weekend hence the no posts (unusual for me), just making the most of the last of the good weather here in IN - everyone keeps telling me how cold it will get next week so we played some golf (or tried to, its something we recently took up) walked a trail, went out got drunk etc. Had accupuncture today and had kind of an out of body experiece there- kind of wierd, kind of deep...anyone else ever had this??? This is only my 4th session and i was fast becoming an accupuncture skeptic, but now i dont know what to think??

[sloan88]

kas 101 - I just got back from acupuncture and I had the same experience. I'm a big fan and have been doing it for 3-4 months and I've really noticed the difference. both in terms of relaxation and helping with cramps etc... Today I felt like it helped rev down from the Follistim i'm taking - that's made me feel like i'm going to jump out of my skin... anyway... that's my two cents.

wonderce - i'm wondering what the numbers mean as well as I have the exact same test tomorrow... Yes I'm using Follistim - so far okay...

NY4thtry - good luck on Mon.!

Robin611 - good luck as well - that's great you have a support group...

Natashamom - that's so exciting about the donor eggs. Did you have to get on a waiting list?

ajdec - exciting!!! it sounds like your chances are so high. you're so lucky not to do shots. I looked at the progesterone needles and i'm currently in denial.

jenn - so sorry about your surgery being painful... it made me sad to read your post.. Here's wishing you a speedy recovery

As for me - on my 3rd day of stims. No more hives so that's good... I don't feel much except I noticed I was a bit more aggressive in my car - need to watch that! My DH does my shots - I have not yet had the nerve to do it myself but I know I have to get over the fear....

one of these days...

hope everyone else is doing well...

[babyhope1]

Oh goodness ladies! You all have been so busy! I have anestesia brain but I am getting back to normal. So, a month ago when I thought I was starting IVF for the second time (first cycle canceled due to BFP! Then-miscarried twins) I finally returned to "normal" HCG level and since I had lost two babies I asked for miscarriage blood tests. They usually don't do them until you miscarry three times, that is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard. I can't imagine who has to go through that three times. I am sure I will see the bill anytime now. Anyway, they found I had a heterozugous (I have one gene "a carrier" for a clotting problem called MTHFR, which I politely refer to it as Moth*# Fu*#*#*#*! I am to take mega doses of B vitamins and folic acid. I hear there is prescription dosage...I also want to know about this baby asprin thing I am reading about.

Anyway, I have been on BCP for a month supressing my cycle. I flunked my Hysterosonogram 15 days ago when they found two clots/polyps which I had surgery to remove. My last period was June 3rd, then I blead for 3 weeks, one week break and a final miscarriage bleed for another week. They have been supressing me ever since. I continued with my 4th week (second pack) of BCP so they could do the surgery without AF getting in the way.

That is where I am now. The surgery delayed me a month but I awoke with a uterus, no cancer seen, no D&C needed and minimal scar tissue so I feel relieved. I am prepared for a BFN through this process as I feel any good news will be masked with fear and it will truly be hard to be excited until I hold that baby. Yet I maintain enough hope to move forward knowing I can conceive yet not carry to term. Sorry this is more of a journal entry but they are thoughts on my mind that you ladies of all can relate to.

Anyone know anything on MTHFR or baby asprin

Babyhope

[babyhope1]

I forgot to post my best news, I can start sticking myself with needles now! YAHOO!! DH is out of town in Nov and I want to confirm with my doc at my post op so I may wait until end of week so the timing is better.

[gina1234]

hey ladies i am just having a bad day today...i am feeling so tried & just so drained...we start meds in about 2wks & apart of me feels so nervous i dont know what to do...almost everyone around me does not understand or they try to understand but just cant...i think what i need is to just scream & vent...i really feel so alone...dh is working tonight & it is a good thing because sometimes he doesnt even understand whats really going on...i am so ....i understand u all know were i am coming from, but i feel that there is not enough time in the day to do what i need to do...so basically what i saying is i need all the help i can get from u ladies, because i feel like right now u are my only support & my only hope to get through this bump in the road....thanks for reading (sorry if it doesnt make sense) i am sending u ladies all lots of baby dust & hugs...

gina

Me 29 pcos
Dh 32 ring chromosomes problem
1st IVF 2003 28 fol/18 fert/only 4 good ones/3trans/ bfn
2nd ivf sept 2008 28/fol/15 fert/10 good ones/8 frozen/bfb
3rd ivf starting meds around 10/25/08

[Kas101]

Gina Hey there... You are never alone on this board, we all totally understand where you are coming from and what you are going through. If you look back through this board (or any others) you ll see there have been days when each of us have felt so i think thats what this IF does to us - it destroys a little piece of us, and its hard to be happy at times.
I have read that depression is common amongst IF women and boy do i believe it!!!! We all know what will make us better, its not pills, its our beautiful baby that we strive for....

I feel for you right now Gina and the only things i can say are that you are amongst friends here who understand and feel what you feel, and secondly, you are about to embark on your journey that will take you one step closer to that baby, so you have something to feel positive about and focus on that goal - it helps, believe me. Sending you (((((((hugs))))))))

[gina1234]

Kas101--thank you for your kind words.....it really means alot to me...sending u big hugs back

[wonderce]

Gina So sorry you are having a rough time. I feel for you and hope you can keep your spirits high through the support on this site. I must say, I've had many of those of those sad days over the past few years and usually keep it all in until I feel like I can't hold it in any longer. Sometimes talking it out makes me feel better though. I've tried to talk to friends, but you're right, they just can't really understand, not like the ladies on this board because we're all going through this together. I agree with Kas, you always have friends here who will listen and understand. I am still fairly new to this board but learning that this group is very caring and supportive of each other, especially on those blah days. Stay positive because you start your meds in a couple of weeks and it's another chance at that baby boy or girl. Keep your chin up and look forward to a new day.

[JennLB25]

Gina
I'm sorry you are feeling so . I am new to this board as well. I used to belong to conceivingconcepts.com but I had to, for my mental well-being, take a break from TTC and the IF boards.

I really like this board and the women here. They are all so supportive and TRULY understand what you are going through.

My DH and I have been TTC for 11 years, so I can truly say that I've had those moments where I just wanted to climb in bed and cover my head and just CRY and SCREAM. I got so depressed that my DH was really worried about me. That's when we decided to take a break from TTC. Don't get me wrong, TTC is never completely out of your thoughts, but I just had to take a step back if I wanted to stay healthy.

You may not need to take a break like I did, and I hope you don't, but you really need to take care of yourself. Try to keep a PMA (possitive mental attitude). We understand what you are going through and really feel bad for you!! Please know you are not alone and feel free to vent away here on these boards. Sometimes, just venting helps. These ladies here are the absolute best! And, coming from experience, it really does help to talk to people going through the same things and same emotions.

Kas
I hope we are on the same cycle!! That would be great to walk through the whole process with someone going through the same emotions and such. I'm sending baby dust your way. I hope this cycle is good to you and you get the BFP that you've been waiting for!!

Talk to you girls later, I better get back to work before my boss notices that I don't have any of his work in front of me and I'm still typing away.

Have a great day.

Smile Gina, I hope your days ahead get easier. I pray your DH tries to understand what you are going through and gives you extra love and support!

Luv ya gals!

Jenn

[JDC]

Hi Ladies.....sorry, but I have totally neglected any and all message boards for the last few weeks. I needed a complete break after my d&c to recovery emtotionally. Well, AF has arrived, so that means my next ivf will be here soon - a month to be exact! I have to have a saline sonogram next Mon. to be sure no damage was done to my unterus during the d&c, then I will start stims again shortly after my next AF ( short cycle).

How is everyone? To_have_fun - how are you hanging in?

I'm going to stay now that I'm here again! I couldn't get through this madness without all the support of you ladies!

[babyhope1]

Gina and all, its alright to go crazy. You all have made me realize that the emotions I feel but couldn't put a name to we all are experiencing for me its mostly isolation. I was isolating really badly and finally realized it. Then again its strange to be social with friends who wonder why you aren't drinking with every single time you go out, like you are being supervised. I would rather not deal with the stress.

So, with every IUI I didn't want to go through the process, I didn't want to go for my ultrasounds nor take the pills nor go in for the IUI but after the end of the third week I started to get excited, nervous etc and was glad all that was behind me.

Its the same for IVF. I am not looking forward to 6 weeks of needles and large medical bills but if I am prego at the end of it it will be worth it. I look at it one step at a time. Right now I focus daily on that BCP and I don't get ahead of myself. It keeps it from getting too overwhelming. One thing at a time. Then again your mind has to be on board. Its normal to feel anxious and OK to go out of control crazy (hormones suck!) but if your brain isn't on board your body will not follow so only you can decide what is right and when.

[gina1234]

JennLB25 & wonderce---ladies thank you for reading my post & understanding & being there for me....i really appreciate it...

i know i have to stay positive & strong....i feel so bad for my dh....i know i am handling this pretty hard, but he is handling it even harder than i am, i have told him that there is a light at the end of the tunnel & that light will be our miracle child....i know dh will be a wonderful father, because he is a wonderful dh...so i think i know why i have been feeling they way that i do is because the pain that he is not expressing i am having his pain plus my & when u try to walk around everyday with a smile it starts to get to a point were u just want to shut the outside world off.....i have a question i have been doing alot of reseach & see that a 5dt is better than a 3dt what do u ladies think??? i am going to post on the board this question and see what other people think...big hugs to all of u & lots of baby dust

gina

[ajdec]

As a very newcomer to IVF...I'm inspired by all of you ladies everytime I read a new post. I can't imagine the stress and emotion that comes with having multiple cycles. I feel like I've had enough of both to last a lifetime, and this is my first IVF cycle. But you are all right...having our own babies as a result of all this will so be worth it. The pain from the shots, the feelings of isolation and being alone, the up and down emotions...will all be a distant memory once we get our BFP!

I'm trying so hard to have PMA. I was doing really well yesterday...very upbeat and happy and invisioning myself prego. Now today, I'm working at home, sitting in bed on my laptop, worrying about every little thing...wondering why I'm not having the cramping that often comes with implantation. Freaking out about the discharges (TMI, sorry) from the Endometrin. Spending way too much time worrying about what I do if it's a BFN. It's such an up and down emotional rollercoaster... I am so thankful I have you ladies to vent to and to share experiences, fears and joys. It really is a situation like no other. I am trying to feel peace that others are going through this and having success. So thank you all...for being there...just to listen or to provide information or whatever....

[not hopeless yet]

I, too, am trying to have PMA and find it disheartening when I have a good day one day and I'm blue the next... But I'm trying to allow myself to have those feelings and still move forward with treatment. Hang in there ladies - I know we can all survive it!