Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[slcannon]

Leigh - Congratulations!!!

I am so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!! This is just absolutely wonderful. I hope to keep seeing your progress in our October Buddies thread. Enjoy the rest of your pregancy.

Lots of love,
Stephanie

[Jen1d]

:lol

CONGRATULATIONS LEIGH, well done

Look forward to hearing all your exciting news in the next 9 months.

I had my scan today and everything was great. I am now going to be joining the stimming club as of Friday, yippee.

Camilla - good luck for Wed. You can let me know how it was and give me some advice from a pro.

Stephanie - Well done on your 18 little follies. Put your feet up and rest now.

Little R - Big hug as always to you. Hope your DH is pampering you.

Lola - Hope you are still lounging in front of the telly. Take it easy.

After the good news on here today i am now feeling more positive.

Love to you all

Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

To My Dearest Buddies who are probably the only true ones that will understand mine and DH's pain,

Leigh- congratulations. Wonderful news- so sorry I am about to rain on your congratulations parade

Today was absolute, positive devastation. It was my 2nd ultrasound to check for the heartbeat, but no baby was to be found. Doc said that it is almost definitely a miscarriage. I am absolutely heartbroken. I was so sure that this little miracle would stick it out for the long haul. The gestational sac is still there, but no yolk sac or embryo which should be easily seen at this point. To make matters worse, he said it is possible that they baby is tucked in the corner, but not to hold out great hope for it, as is unlikely. So, I must go back on Wednesday and Friday for more torturous ultrasounds where I lay there and they search in vain for my peanut. Not quite sure where to go from here- hope or grieve? Too painful to hope and be dissappointed. Feel guilty for grieving when not absolutely 100% sure that it is gone........

Steph

[AJ]

Oh Steph

I am crying for you now. What an awful situation to be in. Don't feel guilty about how you are feeling, hoping or grieving, they are both fine.

I really, really hope that your peanut is just playing hide and seek with the doctors. If not, my heart is with you and all my sympathy. This is what we all dread and my words will not help.

Look after yourself and DH and keep in contact as we are supporting you all the way here,



Anna

[camilla]

Morning

Oh I feel a mixed bag of emotions this morning after reading Leigh and Steph's news.

Steph - I don't know what to say but there is always that glimmer of hope. Either way at least after Weds you may know for definite. In the meantime let your emotions out. I'd really love to be able to give you a hug. I'm sure you and DH are supporting each other right now. Of course we're always here too for the all important moral support.

Leigh - Thrilled for you. Checked yesterday morning but it was before you had result so meant to check later and then things prevented me from being able to do so. And DH took possession of a new laptop in the evening so was unable to get anywhere near it till he'd had his full at about 9 o'clock! Anyway after the anticipation I am so happy for you. Stick around and let us know how things progress.

Jen - Great news! Roll on Friday. The good thing about stimming is that you know the end is in sight coz it's only for 2 weeks. And you feel you're actively helping the process along rather than de-regging where you're just waiting. I did feel really tired during stimming but resting as much as you can and early nights really help. Also we didn't have anything planned for the weekends at all.

Stephanie - Guess it should be your ET soon. Lots of baby dust coming your way.

Lola - Now you're on the 2ww we don't want to hear anything about "symptoms"! From what I gather physical symptoms of a +ve and -ve are much the same so it's best not to over analyze how you're feeling. You can remind me of that when I get there! By the way estas espagnol?

I have butterflies in my tummy for tomorrow and it's really unsettling. Today has to go quickly!

Lots of love to you all and let's have a cyber group hug, especially for Steph.

Camilla xxx

[little R]

My dearest buddies,

Sorry for my silence....please know that I have been thinking about you all. How could I not as you've been such a huge part of my life these past weeks!

You all brought tears to my eyes reading through your lovely messages. I feel blessed to have you. Thank you for your cyber support. My DH also wants to thank you for taking care of me whilst he was away.

I have read the good news.
Congrats to you Leigh and your DH.... that's just wonderful. Well done Octobuddy!
Lola, hope you're staying positive and not freakishly analysing every twinge . We're all guilty of that! Rest as much as possible as you certainly deserve it.

Stephanie, I hope all is well with the little ones....well done, 18 eggs... that's super news!

Jen, thank you for your thoughts. Way to go on the stimming!

Camilla, my dear Octobuddy, I hope you are resting and ready for the big day tomorrow. Will be thinking about you! THANK YOU for your constant support. I'll reply to you shortly. Big hugs.


I have also read the heart-breaking news.
Steph, I am SO sorry. I can relate to the feelings of hope/anguish and the horrid testing. I pray that they will find your peanut playing hide & seek. I'm sending you all the hugs I can muster up. Don't feel guilty about anything... cope as you can cope.... if that means grieving so be it. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

Love to you all....


Little R

[slcannon]

Hi everyone! I am like Camilla, mixed emotions today.

Steph - I was hearbroken to read your news . I can't say that I know what you are going through as I have not been there, but I can imagine. Still holding out hope as anything is possible. Please reach out to us as much as you need! We are here for you always! Big cyberhug to you.

Little R - You have amazing strength. Glad that DH is now home with you. You are still in my thoughts and I am wishing you well.

Jen - Yeah, stim away!!!!! Good luck and hope you develop lots of beautiful follies.

Camilla - Good luck tomorrow, you will do great!!!!!

Leigh - Congrats again!

Lola - Sit back and relax, 2ww is underway and will be over before you know it.

I am scheduled for ET tomorrow unless the lab wants to let them grow a little more. As of last night, doc said that 17 of the 18 fertilized. I am thrilled. Should get an update later today on the status of them. Keeping my fingers crossed that they are all good.

Big hugs to everyone.
Stephanie

[lolajones]

Hi friends

Steph I am so sorry, I really feel for you my lovely and am sending all my love and warm, supporting, wishes to you and your husband. I know we all feel the same here and if we could make this better for you, we'd do it in a flash. Lets us know how you're doing.

Little R - how're you getting on?

Leigh are you still on cloud 9??? I am so pleased about your result d'you think your nail colour was a factor?

Jen - stim on! Things'll start speeding up now and before you know it you'll be up to your arm pits in follicles like bubbles in a bath. Did you get any comments on your nail varnish shade?

Stephanie - nice one! So many embies to choose from!!! Good luck with ET. Then the wicked 2ww begins.........

Camilla - good luck tomorrow!!! EC is ok, feign buzzy alertness so they give you the full vial of Midazolam (kapow!) - smooth..... It'll be a breeze for a strong girl like you, they'll be taking eggs like its Mary Poppins carpetbag! Ching ching! My novelty boobs seemed to sprout from Ovitrelle - they really are a winner 'round ours. Re Chef: I'm not bad at complimenting men and have even learned not to sound patronising and do my eyerolls on the sneak. Send him over! No soy de espana, strange you ask, is it my refs to Tom Selleck body hair? I did live in latin america for a year tho - does that count?

well, i am under strict instructions not to mention symptoms (thanks Camilla - symptom Nicorette) so I'll keep it zipped. Still at one with the sofa but man! I am one episode of "Cash in the Attic" away from insanity. Although it is surprising how much a manky old plate can fetch at auction......

Anyhoos, I am literally going mental. I am desperado for a fat glass of red too. Hey ho. Rambling now so will stop.

LOVE LIKE A TRUCK

Lola
xxxxx

[Smita]

Steph,
Sending you hugs in this soo tough time.I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow..

Little R,
I'm glad your dh is back with you.. its amazing how much a hug from them can help us heal huh?

To all the other Octobuddies,
Good Luck!

smita

[little R]

Thank you for your hugs and support.

I'm coping as best I can..... words can't express the loss I feel at the moment. Part of me has gone numb and I feel as if I am going around like a robot. (Stephanie, not sure it is strength...may be a little denial!) DH has left again; some times I really hate his job although I knew what I was getting into when I married him ! We've grown even closer since the IVF... we only have each other.

I was told to return to the clinic yesterday for a blood test to check whether HcG is at 0. Well, I have decided to wait until DH is home on Saturday to do it. I don't want to ever have to talk to that insensitive doctor again...I even feel like lodging a complaint.....he needs to be educated. I'm not a case file, but a human being!

Trying to keep busy doing mundane things----tidying, cleaning and washing. All those chores I love the most

I was actually checking in to see whether Steph had written back but I guess with the time difference........

Hope you are all well my friends.... Camilla & Stephanie.... can't wait to hear your good news.

Lola, hang on in there.... when is the exact date of testing?

Much love to all,

Little R

[slcannon]

Hi everyone. Just wanted to let you know that me ET has been changed to Friday, 11/11. My embies are doing well and they want them to grow a couple of more days.

Camilla - Let us know how you are feeling.

Steph and Little R - My thoughts are with you.

Hugs,
Stephanie

[Smita]

Stephanie,
Good news on the embies doing well- wishing you a smooth transfer.

Little R,
Its such a shame dh has to travel so much when you need him.
Your baby was real, so you feel the grief, its normal to feel so sad.
I just hope you feel better soon and move to a better doctor.i hate the sound of that guy.Sending you hugs.

smita

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hello to the loveliest & warmest group of buddies a girl could ask for.

First off- an unbelievably big thank you for your warm thoughts and messages of comfort, helped beyond words can say. You are better than chocolate and peanut butter! Thank you Smita, Lola, Camilla, Stephanie, Anna and Little R!!

Unfortunately our little miracle is gone.
The ultrasound today showed an empty gestational sac. The doc said it should be very easily seen at this point. I am going in for a D & E tommorrow. They gave me the option of waiting for it to happen naturally, but I feel as I can't move on properly and still feel all the raging hormones. The doc called it a blighted ovum- gestational sac and placenta develop, but embryo does not due to chromosone defect.

I am trying to look at positive. I did get pregnant, a first for me after 2 years of TTC. Also, doc said this was a "normal and common" type of miscarriage- nothing to do with endo and infertility. All signs point to the fact that I can get pregnant and will carry to full term. We have 2 snow babies left. When my body and mind are ready we will go again. Thought this journey was coming to an end- but, alas, I will continue on. Little R- I will be waiting for an HCG negative right along with you!

On to the fun stuff, because I am cheering so hard for you, my girls!

Stephanie- Friday! ET! Luck, luck and luck! Have great day.

Lola- still thinkin of you, have you gone cross eyed from all the TV yet?


Steph

[little R]

Just checking in quickly mainly to check up on you, Steph!
Was relieved to see such a positive message.

Once again, Steph, I am so sorry. I know what you are going through. Reading your words gave me great comfort....and encouraged me to go and get my blood test done on Saturday. I have to begin the journey again too. I don't have any frosties so it will be a fresh start..... let's hope with a better ending.

Much love to you and all my other Octobuddies.....what happens when you have all finished your cycles.... please don't say we go our separates ways...

Smita...thank you for your hugs....wish my DH was not away so much either. He works for an airline company so it goes with the territory....I spend a lot of time on my own.

Camilla, no news good news.... is your DH monopolising the laptop again ? Hugs to you!

Hugs,

Little R

[Jen1d]

Well Lola i was not impressed that the nurse never commented on how gorgeous my nails were but i did laugh on the way home in the car. My dh asked why i took my socks off as it was freezing. I then had to explain about this crazy chick in the October buddies who went for her scan and the predicament she was in, he thinks we are all crazy but grateful for all the support.

I need some expert advice. How did everyone find the stimming. Do you have any techniques for giving the injections and do they nip? Did you do them yourself and was there any side affects? It is in the fridge until friday and everytime i look in i get another hot flush, i am quite panicky about it. What a wimp eh? I can't complain though as i have hardly had any side affects and have been lucky------apart from my good old buddy, hot flush, he is still here and visiting about 4 times a day now. Hopefully he will go when the stimming starts?

Then there is the ER, now i am terrified about that and hope they knock me out good and proper.

Good luck to everyone for everything, i am being lazy today and not listing you all as i am a bit tired.

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and advice.

Big hug to you all from the biggest wimp on the site.

Love Jen xxx