DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, hope everyone Ok

Could I ask a question on behalf of a dear friend. She doesn't know our situation about using a donor for Matthew although she does know we had IVF. Anyway, she has been going through lots of tests as she and her DH have been trying to get pg for a couple of years. She is only 30 yrs old. She has had an HSG, FSH levels checks, DH sperm analysed etc... Finally they got to EC and found that the problem was that the follicles didn't contain any eggs. It seems she is not producing any. She is considering going down the egg donor route. My question is.... is this the only route she can take? (I always thought girls were born with their eggs and if she is not producing any then there may have never been any there in the first place) OR Could the medication she was given for EC tampered with her hormones and had an effect on her egg production? I don't know much about this. Her DH is adamant that they should NOT use a donor, saying that he didn't want a child that is only half his. Naturally she is devastated if this is her only chance to have a baby. Any thoughts/comments appreciated, thanks.

Gill, thinking of you

Carolyn, hope Big B all OK

Jen1 good luck with next scan.

Jen, glad AF behaving now

Hugs to all brave ladies here
Bye for now
Anna x

[gill12]

Hi

Just wanted to say

"Thank you all so much for thinking of me" .

I feel totaly deflated. I know I wasnt the most positive but I so wanted this to work, it feels that we have come to the end of the line and I just dont know what to do next.

Sorry no personals today, I am thinking of you all.
Take care
Lots of love
Gill xxx

[poochie]

Hi Girls

Anna - Glad to hear you and Mathew are doing well, hope you had a good time at the BBQ. Not sure I can help with your friend, I score well on my fertility tests but I produce few follicles/eggs or empty follicles doctors not sure why I just advised to go donor egg as sperm an issue for me also as dh and I only have 3 frozen tubes left. If she has only had one go of IVF I would suggest she get a second opinion and have more test during her cycle to determine what is going on.

Rebecca – Welcome, my husband had cancer and we are also using frozen sperm, which had resulted in one DD. Good luck with treatment keep us posted.

Julie – Welcome DE does take a little time to get your head round, but you will get there, I prefer not to see a picture of donor. Good luck choosing your clinic, I choose my Spanish clinic on a recommendation of my English clinic and my own research plus I did not want to know anything about donor. I have told close friends and family and will tell the child when the time is right. My way of handling it is to think the eggs from the donor would not be used otherwise and its just an egg which is just a cell.

Jen b – Glad the bleeding has stopped hope the PMT goes and your having a fab time in Glasgow.

Jen – I’m sure your lining will be fine for your next scan, 10 days is a long and that extra patch should do the trick. Hope you had a good night out with your cousin.

Gill – Oh Gill, I’m so so sorry, big hugs, thinking of you at this sad time.

Carolyn – Hope your appointment goes well.

Love to everyone

Vicki X

[Sonix]

Gill – so sorry to read your sad news. I do hope you will get some answers from IM and find a way forward that gives you some hope again soon. Am thinking of you xxx

Sorry I’ve been away so long and haven’t been able to cheer you all on. Thanks to all who have been asking after me. We were for 2 weeks on holiday on the North coast of Germany in an attempt to have a relaxing break before the final run of treatment. I’ve been struggling to catch up with all your news since…

Carolyn, hope all is going well at IM and you’re having a great trip. Looking forward to reading your good news when you’re back.

Jen1 – good luck with your next scan on the 21st.

JenB – hope things are progressing well for you and that you hear from IM soon. Not long now until you can start the patches.

As for me, AF arrived as planned whilst we were away on holiday. So I’m now officially on the “transfer cycle” with the full programme of meds including daily injections. Yesterday was my 1st scan (cycle day 10) and my lining was 8,8mm which the clinic seemed to find OK. My next scan will be Thursday afternoon so I was sort of reckoning that we would have to getting ready for news about a donor any time from the end of this week, but it could also take several weeks. So I got the shock of my life when the Doc’s assistant called me the middle of the afternoon at work to ask if we would be OK about the eye colour of a donor they have ready! It turned out to be a false alarm because the doc decided it was too early. Phew! Made us realize that we've really got to get working on our quick-get-away-plan.

Sorry, better be cutting this short tonight … got home very late and have a headache

Hi to Kim, Anna, Rebecca, Rebecca(rahlloo), Vicki, BigJ, Kelly, Julie … sorry if I’ve missed anyone.

Hope to get to call in again soon.

Lots of love and hugs
Sonia xxx

[rhall00]

Gil, I am soo sorry! I can only imagine what you're going through and I want you to know we are all here for you (sorry I'm speaking for everyone ).

Thank you everyone for all the great welcomes! I'm feeling a bit inadequate in the graphics department, so I better figure out how to do add them to my postings!

For our donor, we're using a woman from Ohio. DH and I went through about a thousand photos and profiles before we found our first donor. Her brother was killed in a car accident about a week before her testing, so we went through another mini search and found our current donor by chance. The photos definitely help us as we want an idea of what 1/2 of the mix will be. But I can absolutely understand the "surprise" factor of not knowing what she looks like. We will also be telling the child (should we have one) and our family. I've told a few friends as it helps me come to terms with it and get used to the idea. Meds are arriving on Friday so it's really starting to hit me.

Best of luck to all our happy travellers this week! Stay safe and I wish you lots of baby dust!!

Rebecca

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

So the dreaded sleepover is over for another week. I have to be on shift at 3pm, finish when the kids are asleep, around 11.30pm then sleep over in case of emergencies, be up on shift for 7.30 then do an early shift and finish at 3.30pm, its a killer.

Gill - My IM Bud, (((((((hugs)))))) thinking of you, come back soon when you are stronger, missing you.

JenB - Hope your trip to Glasgow is going well and the bleeding is staying away. Did you like my AF sparkly, thought it was fab.

Rebecca - Wow cant believe you et to look through photos and select your own, dont know how i feel about this. Can i be rude and ask how much you pay for a donor cycle in USA, you dont have to answer if you dont want to ?

Anna - Not sure about your friend, i would think she can only use a donor. As my eggs started to dwindle lower each time i had EC, the Dr kept saying donor would be our only option. Hope your doing ok?
Do you know how thick IM want the lining to be? Did they check yours at ET. They just did ET with me but i thought they would have measured it before ET. I suppose they looked briefly when doing the scan of my tummy?

Sonia = Everything seems to be moving fast for you, good luck

Vicki - How you doing?

Kim - What you been up to, not long now.

Carolyn has text a few times and has picked up her dummies for good luck. She is managing to chill with her dh and has been checking out Barcelona t. Cant stop thinking abou her and hope everything goes ok.

Well i am just waiting until Friday and although a bit worried have decided there is nothing i can do about my lining-----except wait again
Praying that 3 patches will thicken it up nicely and then after my scan i still have 7 days until ET, so hopefully there is time

Off to work again

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Carolyn

Wont be around until tomorrow so----------




Cant wait to hear you news

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Just popped in to let you know Carolyn tx and all has gone well at IM

She can now start medi on her next af


Love Jen x

[rhall00]

Hey Jen,

No problem asking what it costs! We're pretty lucky that our insurance company is covering all the required drugs (mine and donors) and treatments. We have to pay donor fee ($7,000), agency fee ($4,000), donor's traveling expenses (~$5,000), donor testing (required by FDA, $2,000), and legal fees ($1,000). I think this covers everything, so as you can see it's not cheap. I have no idea how much the meds and treatments cost, but I'm extremely thankful we have good insurance and live in Massachusetts!

Rebecca

[Jen1d]

Hi buds

So new show from Carolyn, news please babe, wll email you and hassle you

Rebecca - Thats nearly £9500. Do you get to keep all the eggs she will produce for you, hope so with that money.

Gill - Hugs, i know you are struggling, we're here for you babe.

Got my scan in the morning, so crossing everything that the lining is thickening up, dont know what we will do if its not. Cant afford to lose money on flighs etc and dont get hols from work until Nov?????????
Hope patch number 3 is doing the trick

Catch up later

Jen x

[CarolynB]

Hi All
Long one coming up as I try to catch up.

Jen1d – I have two days of work to catch up on babe!!!! Much as I’d love to come here first. Was working last night when we got home and this morning from 8am. Hope that your scan goes well tomorrow. Thanks for all the support. You have been fab

Anna – might be worth your friend having a 2nd opinion. We are indeed born with all the eggs. There is a test that can be run which apparently checks your ovarian reserves. Might be worth her asking about that. Or if the drugs messed things up then what about her looking into natural ivf. Shantala looked into that and sure that she would give you details if you PMed her. It may be worth a 2nd try to see whether the same issue occurs again if she can face it emotionally or financially.

Julie – welcome to the fab thread. I am the 4th and final lady going to IM. Actually for me I am really not bothered about the physical aspect at all – we told them that yesterday so the lack of picture is no issue for me at all. Bothers me more about traits such as the fact I am good at sums will not get passed on! Silly but different things bother each of us. We will tell the child from the very start as we both feel that it is just too big a secret to keep & that being honest is what is most important for us. I don’t know my real dad as my Mum got pregnant very young. I found out by digging and finding my own birth cert and by finding pictures of my Mum marrying my (step) ‘Dad’ in which I featured. This all came to light at age 10 and I wish that they had told me rather than putting all the pressure onto me at that young age. I knew that something was up. I want to do it very differently but that is because of what I have been through myself. The lack of genetic link puzzles me at times. In my teens, I planned to look for him. But it pisses me off that he just left my Mum and now I feel it would be really disrespectful to the Dad who has brought me up. I have two half sisters and never felt that I have been treated differently but to know helps me understand why I am different to them. We have told some friends that we will use donor and my parents know. Other people just know that it is another round of treatment for now but we will probably say in time. My dh does not care if we tell everyone. He feels that if it helps me then it is fine. We also both feel that this is something to be proud of rather than something that we should feel ashamed of. I also hope that by telling others that more ladies might consider donation. Sorry I have gone on. Don;t mean to lecture. Just I have given it much thought. There is no right answer but I found working it through helped me get to the right answer for us

Gill – sweetie. I know that you are having a bad time. So which there was more I could say or do for you. Thinking of you. Please let us know if we can help you at all. You have been so sweet to me with the texts and mails despite your pain. Big hugs to you & your hunk of a dh!

Kim – wow. Under a month now. You must be starting to get excited. Glad that bcps are behind you

JB – hope that you had a great time on the course and with all your pals. So hope that you will hear soon. Come back – we miss you. Thanks for your texts too. You have been a great support to me

Rebecca – how are you doing? Hope you are not too sick babe. It will be so worth it in the end

Sonix – your lining sounds totally fab. They will get well cozy in there

Vicki – wonder how close together we might get to cycle? Do you know any of your dates as yet. Would be great if we could go through it all together

rhall00 - welcome to the thread. I read about how expensive it is in the US. Guess that it is good that at least some of the costs have been covered to date and this cycle too otherwise it would be even more mental. We have paid for everything and the total bill grows all the time

Hugs to those I have missed. Big thread now – which is great in of itself as we are no longer doing this alone. But trying to stop Jen hassling me and catch up at work is proving a challenge.

We had a good trip. Flights, hotel etc were all fine. I had not been to Barcelona for 20 years so was good to look around. We will spend more time there for ET and so have more chance to get a good look. We had tapas and ice cream down near the port area after we got there on Tuesday which was lovely. Then we walked around a bit after the appointment yesterday but I was shattered – could really feel my sarcoidosis hitting me. Happens after stressful/busy period usually when relief hits me.

All the info from the IM girls helped more than I can say. So we just wandered up to the clinic yesterday. It was lovely and sunny there. Clinic is very professional. Even though we had to wait they kept us informed all the time. Dh had to do his bit. Just upset that dvd was out of action after hearing all about it! So we met an English dr – Victoria Walker. She was lovely. They were over 1 hour late seeing us but she said that most of that time had been going through all our notes which she had not seen until the day and putting all our history onto the computer. She checked that with us. Then said that 3 things need to be ‘right’ - eggs, sperm and my uterus. We talked through why we had got to ED and she said that it all made sense and she saw too many people who had had many many tries before we got to the point that we had. So we moved on. They suggested sperm fragmentation testing as my dh is over 45. We agreed as want to get all the tests and give it the best possible try. They may need to use all of the sample from yesterday so this may mean that we need to be there for EC. We have taken no real holiday this year so have no problem going for a week – other than it will be at short notice but cannot think that will be tricky in November. If there is an issue then they may need to get sperm direct from the testes. He loved that!!! About time he had to go through some of these things rather than me!!! They’ll tell us the results in a couple of weeks. Then we talked about my uterus. They suggested a 3rd hysteroscopy to check the nature of the lining rather than the shape. I nearly fell of my chair as I only had one at the end of June. She realised my reaction and said that I could just take the drugs anyway. Mix of antibiotics etc etc – three different drugs. I said that as long as there was nothing else that they would find out then I’d just take the drugs as a precaution. She said often if the tubes were blocked then it is because of an infection in the uterus that spreads. Drugs a lot cheaper than another hysteroscopy so we picked them up afterwards at the pharmacy for Euro13. Then we talked a lot about the donors – why they do it and how they get matched and if we can send her a message afterwards. I had two pages of questions typed up and we went through all of then together – happy to type these all out or paste them into a post if people would like to see what we asked. Finally we talked about our characteristics – hair colour, eyes etc and they took a picture of us both. We talked about blood group and said that we were going to tell the child so were relaxed about matching or not. We were just more focused on a donor that hopefully will work!!!!

So guess after the scan and swab test on me, getting the drugs and
paying we left after about 3 hours.

She said that I could start on my next AF which should be 2nd October. That I would likely be on bcps for most of October. Then patches at the start of November and ET by mid November.

So I have a plan. I liked the clinic a lot. We are happy that we can start straight away. Also gives me confidence that they have quite a lot of donors so will reject some who do not pass the medical tests rather than grabbing all of them. Plus we saw people there who were older than us which made me feel not so awkward/unsure about age issues for any future child.

Just need to alter my ticker now.

Thank you all so much for the support. Sparkly signs. Especially the IM girls for all the texts and e-mails even when you are all having a tough time yourselves. The support means the world to me.

Better get some work done. Sorry this is such a long post.
Lots of Love
Carolyn xxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Carolyn

All sounds like it went great. I knew you would come out of there feeling positive.

Sorry, wasnt hassling, just wanted to know you got on ok amd are happy.

Poor dh, no dvd

Love Jen x

[CarolynB]

Hi Jen

I was only joking. You know that I would rather post on here rather than working anyday of the week.

I would say that I am content rather than happy. Very pleased that we are on our way after waiting 2 months for the appointment. I feel confident that it is a very decent clinic. She told me that they are having people go there from as far afield as Australia/New Zealand and Singapore. Amazing

I am not at all sure that it will work for us. Just keen to get on with this attempt and see what happens. Really at the point where I desparately want it to happen and if it does not then I want to pick up the pieces and carry on with our lives. Need a cup of coffee again and a glass of wine and also to know whether I should take a new job or carry on as I am now. I want resolution and am unhappy with the contast limbo.

Know that you know how it is babe.

Talk soon. Best of luck for the scan tomorrow.

Love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Carolyn

Hey chill babe, know you are busy, its fine.

Know exactly how you feel. I'm on permanant coffee lust at the moment and have to sprint past Starbucks at the moment

Glad you liked IM, thought you would.

Am getting a bit worried about tomorrow, am scared the lining isn't in tip top shape. It was 4.4mm the last time at this stage and IM were fine with that so i'm hoping its that or more

Away to get my eyes dyed and chill

Love Jen x

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, happy Thursday, hope all is well.

Gill, thinking of you. Take care, hugs xx

Carolyn, welcome back. Glad you liked IM. It's an impressive place isn't it? Dr Walker is great, you are in good hands. It won't be long now until you are back and those embies will be snuggling in for the duration. I will mention ovarian reserve test to my friend, thanks.

Jen 1 , IM may have looked at my lining during ET but they didn't mention the thickness. The previous scan showed it was over 7mm and they seemed happy with that. I'm sure all will be fine for you. Good luck with the scan tomorrow. I'm 'thinking thick' for you xx

Vicki, thanks for your response to my query, much appreciated. I am seeing my friend next week and will do my best to support her. Hope you Ok.

Sonix, way to go...full steam ahead. Hope scan went OK today and your headache has gone.

Hello to Rebecca, good luck with this cycle. Telling friends and family can be hard, well done to you.

Jen B, hope a good time was had in Glasgow. Not long to go now!

As for us, we are fine. I met a new mum today who had also been to Barcelona for DE tmt. We had been put in touch with each other by our GP. We have been emailing for a while and actually got to meet each other face to face today. it was lovely to meet her, in the same situation and same age bracket (she is 46) Her little girl is 9 weeks old and adorable. Keep the faith girls, there are lots of succes stories out there

Hi to all lovely ladies here
Bye for now
Hugs Anna x