good morning beautiful ladies!!
i'm gonna try to do some overdue personals....
tammy OMG OMG OMG!!! i cant believe you POAS so early, but i am so so soooooo happy you got your BFP!!!! wooooooooooooohooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
oh hun i am so happy for you! you've been through so much over the past 6 months...there is NO way you will be able to keep this a secret for 2 more days hahaha
i love all of your ideas about telling everyone the news, but i think you should tell bill first. let it be a private memory you will have forever. i've had my "how to tell DH i'm pregnant" plan for a million years...hopefully i can use it soon, but IVF kinda takes the surprise out of it all...i'm gonna do it anyway though, and if you like it you can use it too! I am going to make it a food thing...since DH loves food so much haha. i always planned on having it set up for when he got home from work, and have all sort of "baby" food ready...ya know...baby back ribs, baby corn, baby peas...well thats all i can think of right now, but then i'd make him figure out the theme! i played this moment over and over in my mind for years, but once IVF became so difficult for us i stopped thinking about it...it made me too sad. anyway...no time to be debbie downer...i'm too happy for YOU!!!! XOXOXOXO
oh and i'm soooo glad you got your keyboard fixed...i missed you!!
ryann your RE is making me soooo mad!! anyway there really is nothing you can do about it now..its in the past, and we have to move on and focus on your BFP ok?? 4 embies is a hard number to figure out...i can understand why you are thinking about it so much. DH was just talking about it yesterday when we first thought we had 4 embies and not 5...he was like "what would we do? if we put back 3 what would we do with just one extra embie? what if it didnt make it to freeze? then we would just be killing it" and i said...but putting back 4 scares the bejesus outta me! you have some time to think about it, and i know you will do whats best for you. you have to learn from what happened, and become stronger and stand up for what you feel is right in all of this!! xoxo
wondercat i'm so sorry about DH missing his chance. i think its pretty rude for them to call and want to interview and just because he couldnt be there RIGHT NOW, to move on to someone else without even giving him the chance to interview. he didnt want to work for such a crappy business anyway!!
ya know...when you were telling us about your boss and co-worker i had evil envisions of me becoming that bitter from all of this IVF crap. i already turn green with envy anytime i see a happy family walk by me. last year there was this 18 year old girl that was pregnant at my work (of course it was an accident) and i couldnt even look at her without wanting to punch her in the face (this wasnt good since i was her boss)...she was horrible...she would chain smoke on her brakes...right out in the front of the building!! she didnt even try to hide it! then one of her friends would always come to pick her up, and she told me she was pregnant 3 times and had abortions (she was also 18)! they would always ask me why i didnt have kids at such an old age (i was 32!!!!) and i would say "i'm working on it...sometimes its not that easy" and the friend would always say that she would have a baby for me...ummmmmmm no THANK YOU!! so i'm sure to these lil girls i was a big ol annoying jealous *****. i'm not saying it gives them the right to be mean to you (especially since they know you had to go through IVF to have your DS) but that being said, you never really know what other people have been though. nobody knows how horrible this past year has been for me, and why ive changed so much so i'm sure people think i've lost my mind. dont take it personally (i know thats hard) but try to remember their attitudes are probably from years of pain.
as for bring DS to the clinic...well to be honest it would actually upset me. it wouldnt have a year ago going through my first cycle..back when i still liked people, but after a year of failed cycles the last place i want to see another "happy family" is when i'm pumped up on drugs and stressing out if i will get canceled each day. if you want to show off your DS to the nurses i would call ahead and go in during a slow part of the day.
chili ive been going crazy thinking of you all day yesterday....well i was going crazy for myself already so i just added thinking about you to my list of craziness! i hope you are doing well...i cant wait to hear how many eggs you got!! xoxo
tiger i think a break is the best idea for you...and what a trip you have planned!! being a travel writer, and in the hospitality business i love hearing about new exciting places. ive never been to costa rica, and like you and most of us, our big vacation trips have been put on hold for years now. our idea of vacations now are weekend getaways, and trips to our parents houses...soooo romantic right??? it will be soooooo nice to have something fun to google and plan that isnt about "spotting, success rates, and implantation charts" please stick around and tell me all about the plans you are making!! i am a travel dork, and want to hear about all the fun things you will be planning!! xoxo
katie claudia and gi thank you all for crashing in on me! i cant believe how close you all are to seeing your babies!! i'm so excited for you all! i miss you all tons, but i hope i'm not still over on this side by the time you are all ready for baby #2!! oh and i cant believe hazel is about to pop!! please send her my love on the other side ok?? i love you girls soooo much...you know that right????
teresa how are you doing?? isnt the 2nd week so much worse then the first week during the 2ww?? it is killer for me. try to keep busy ok?? and i know tammy is crazy and poas, and wants you to join her, i say dont do it!!!!! haha love you tons sweetie!! xoxo
annashope, amanda, rio, kbillsy, lauren, lauren thank you all for woooohoooing for me and cheering me on!! you are all amazing, and you fill my heart with love and joy!!
everyone else (i know i'm still forgetting a bunch of you, i'm sorry) i am thinking of you all and cheering you on!! xoxo
afm i got the call this morning, and they are moving my ET to TOMORROW!!! i asked the nurse how the lil ones looked and she said they dont give her the updates. i said...but if they are moving me to tomorrow thats gotta be good right? and she said "thats always a great thing!"
they are going to call me after 3pm today with the time to go in tomorrow. i cant believe i am having a 3dt like a normal person!! i'm excited, but very calm...i think i'm still in shock, and its all just a crazy dream! grow embies grow!! last night i went outside in my backyard and looked up at the beautiful clear star filled sky, and talked to my embies! i said "mommy loves you all very much, and even though you are in a different sate right now, you will be home safe soon. i promise i will do everything i can to make a good home for you so you need to hang on and grow up strong so you can snuggle into your mama soon"! ok typing that out makes me sound like a crazy person!!
oh and BTW..these suppositories are GROSS!! how can i be getting all the meds i need when i feel like its all leaking out?? is it ok? do you think i'm getting enough of the meds absorbing in my system? oh and does anyone else feel crampy from them or is it still from the ER??
i will let you all know when i get the official time for my transfer tomorrow!
i hope you all have a beautiful day!
****much love always****
I only got a little creative with my in-laws since he was their first grandchild. When my husband's family was all together for MIL's birthday dinner I gave her a card "To Grandma" signed "Baby X - See you in November!" I'll have to think of some more creative ideas for this cycle. 
My body most definitely knows how to go into labor, and did so 3 weeks before my due date. I to this day don't believe my CS we necessary and have a lot of anger towards that doctor. First, I didn't like him because he dismissed me out of hand when I had a large, painful ovarian cyst. Poked my abdomen a couple times and said there was nothing there or he would have felt it. Two days later an u/s proved him wrong. Naturally he was the one on call when my water broke, home alone at midnight... And it took 2 hours and 2 phone calls before he bothered to call me back. Then the whole time I was in labor the nurses would rush in periodically because "the heart rate is dropping!" only to discover that the monitor had slipped and/or wasn't functioning properly. The doctor used scare tactics on my mother and husband, then basically told me he was refusing to help me deliver naturally. After I caved in, he very "generously" allowed me to push for an hour on the operating table, but only if I would agree to stop all of my pain medication. Interestingly enough with the different monitor in the OR Sean's heart rate didn't drop once during that entire hour. I found out later this doctor has given that same ultimatum to several other women, usually near the end of his shift ! And he was so delighted to tell me in my follow-up appointment how much easier it will be for me since at this hospital I now have to have a scheduled c-section for any subsequent deliveries. Never mind the fact that I now also have to worry more about uterine rupture during my entire pregnancy let alone the delivery, especially with a history of very strong BH contractions and PROM. Does it even need to get said that I am going to be looking into delivering at another hospital next time around?
