The Over 40 Crowd

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Sun May 22, 2005 6:33 pm

Debra

Good luck tomorrow - don't worry about the healthy eating too much, a little naughtiness is a good thing sometimes

Hope you get to hear some positive news

PMA and hugs

Little P

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:04 am

Debra and Sandra,
You are my new heroes! No time right now to really catch up, but just know I'm thinking of you both and watching your posts.

BigJ,
Gettin close, girlfriend!!!! How are you feeling today?

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:00 am

'morning Randa...suspect you're at the end of your day whereas my noisy neighbour has ensured I had a very early start today. DF only got home from work 6 hrs ago so this new house of ours has proved, yet again, to be the bum purchase of the year.

How are YOU doing? - not to be read a la Joey Tribbiani! I just wondered how your preps were going? do you feel different about this try than the last? how does DH feel about it all now?

Hope all's well,
Debra

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Mon May 23, 2005 8:28 am

Hi,

Just back from our clinic apt. Went pretty much as expected. We'll start a medicated FET in either July or August (although he said I could start after my AF in June if I wanted). We'll decide which month when we find out when my real AF appears, which he said might between 4-6 weeks following the op. If early in the month then we'll go for August.

He did say we were extremely unlucky and that he's only had 2 ectopics since the clinic opened 3 years ago, oh joy, how special are we???

Have a good Monday, just off to work. DF thinks it will be a good thing, I'd rather stay at home actually.....

Debra

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Mon May 23, 2005 8:47 am

Hi D

Glad the clinic appointment went well for you both. Must be reassuring to be back on track again. Has the AF from hell

stopped now???? Are your stitches behaving themselves?? You'll be glad to have that behind you.

Well you were bl**dy unlucky sweetie, if they only had 2 ectopics in 3 years that's a very good rate isn't it. Poor old you being one of THE ones. We signed a disclaimer thingy at IM including an acknowledgement of the increased risk of ectopic. Good thing your tubes are truly sealed off now, at least it can't happen again to you. I thought about it, and decided if I had an ectopic I'd get my tubes sealed and burned or whatever you need, as I have no more eggs anyway. So although you have been through hell sweetie, your experience has helped to bring an air of reality to the board and I am sure we will all be cautious of a +ve result until the scan and very aware of severe pain, especially one-sided (yours was wasn't it?). I thank you for that, and being so brave to talk about it.

So July /August FEt whoopee. You are off on holidays anyway aren't you?? Good chance to get nice and relaxed and do some wonderful bonding with dh before you get back on the treadmill again. Lots of yummy naughties

At least FET is far easier on you hormone wise (I assume it's similar to having donor eggs??). Will be thinking of you all the time as you get ready and sedning you lot's of PMA++++ and baby dust to your frosties.

Hi Randa - I am fine. My boobs have swollen out of proportion, it's a world wonder I tell you

I am sure it's just the hormones I am taking, but it feels good all the same. That said I can't lie on my tummy cos they hurt too much and I have to get up slowly

I think I must have imagined it but I saw veins on them this morning, I don't know if they were as noticeable before??? what do we get like on the 2ww

Have gone off meat completely, can only face chicken, and only a bit of that. Still crave coffee though and haven't gone off decaff tea yet....Oh well 3 more sleeps to go ..

Looking forward to Suz result today, she seems to have disappeared???

LOve and kisses

bigJ

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Mon May 23, 2005 1:57 pm

Julie...you can blame the hormones all you like but my, my you've very strong responses there

.....stand by for test day, the board won't have heard anything like it!

Thanks for everything you said but I don't want people hesitating to celebrate. Those first few weeks are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wonderful, why deny them on the off-chance something might happen? The majority make it through and whoosh deservedly off to the PG board with glee....

Whilst the apt. was fine, I surprised myself by crying when he suggested we try a fresh cycle as our last was so successful. We said no, this FET is our last and then I sobbed. I guess he's got harvesting in mind although he said he'd not done that before. We'd long decided on this being 'it', which makes me sad but also gives us closure, terrible word but suitable here. We can't keep putting our lives on hold 'just in case we get pg'. I know we're all doing it but maybe it's time to stop.

I also cried on the way to work but blamed that on listening to Damien Rice - the devil.

AF has j-u-s-t about stopped although cramps continue and stitches don't look very nice at all but I'm trying to learn to love them. They should drop out this week apparently, otherwise I have to do it myself - ugh.

I didn't have severe pain but did have regular AF-type pains on one side from early on. This wasn't a worry for the clinic who thought it might be a cyst. The pain only really hit when it ruptured.

Yes a FET will be much easier, I've zero memory for any cycle past the immediate past but think I go on Progynova/BCP day one of AF and use those to ensure I ovulate on Day 14 to coincide with ET. I'll read up and remind myself! I know it's a very short protocol.

Ah yes...intimacy with DF....will PM you about this!

You know chicken is meat too

rest of your symptoms sound mighty like-pg to me!

Vi snakkes (I figure you're so good at languages, I'll start to teach you Norwegian whilst you rest! This means 'we'll talk/catch you later').

Debra

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Mon May 23, 2005 2:37 pm

D thought you were telling me to watch out for snakes

I know chicken is meat, but what I mean is meaty meat like lamb and beef and pork that I normally love (sorry I know you are a veggie, don't wnat to make you come out in a rash or something!!!). Wouldn't it be so lovely if you were right

I prefer to just blame it all on my body being pumped with patches and pessaries for the moment, I know I'll crash so bad if I get my hopes up. Not long to go though, and I now have a testing buddy so don't feel so lonesome for Thursday

You know, I know you and dh have decided and all that, and you strike me as the kind of girl that likes to have things organised, but hey you can't organise your feelings sweetie. I reckon you should do the FET and see how you feel then, I mean of course it's probably going to work anyway so there'll be no issue, but just in case, keep your mind open. Anyway, a decision to limit yourself is a big one, and you will need time to mourn for hwta could have been if it comes to that. Give yourself a chance and try not to move so fast, one step at a time. If you change your mind and decide to harvest, that's Ok too, decisions are made to be changed aren't they after all they are just guide lines?? (Listen to me, quoting my therapist

)

Glad FET is a simple protocol...you sound like you are itching to get started??? Maybe it's the wait that you are finding hard? or maybe you were just upset as everything had gone so well and you were just unlucky, you need to mourn that too love, you know that, poor you, being at the clinic must have brought it all back. Are you having good talks to dh about it?

Hope your stitches go up in a puff of smoke, I have enough problems taking out ones when they are in the dogs!!

liebe Gruesse

bigJ

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:50 pm

BigJ!!!!
Sweetie, I've been there, and you are sounding soooooooo pregnant it's not even funny!

I'm jealous of your boob situation. My bcp didn't come through for me this time and I'm flat as ever.

Debra,
How many times do we go through this??? Such a hard question, and at our ages even harder still. I wish I could give you some advice. I feel how torn you are. There are sound arguments for stopping after this next time and equal reasons you could rationalize continuing.
Glad you are healing okay. Did you say you have 4 incisions?

Well, I posted my update on the June/July thread. I'll try to sum up here too. Suppression check this morning. Good meeting with doc that made me feel better about doing another freeze-all next time. UGH! The doc says our logic is sound, especially if we want more than one. I just feel soooooo greedy and soooooo into God's business. I know you all are sick of hearing that.

Anyway, our updated plan is to EC on June 7 (start injections Wed). Hubby wants to try naturally for 2 months, then go a 3rd IVF where we transfer (absolutely - no more waiting). You see, we never really tried after I got my tubes reconnected in Dec of 03. (dh changed his mind about being ready). So that would put my last EC at September, along with our first ET. Then we would exhaust fresh, and all frozen until we get pregnant or have to turn to donor eggs. No more EC from me.

Since we can't switch to frozen during a fresh cycle, we would have to wait a month to try the frozen if fresh fails in Sept.

I am going to insist that we do a dye check to see if my tubes are still open. Scar tissue could have formed by now and trying naturally for two months would be a waste of time.

Oh well. As I've said all along, he's calling the shots here. I promised to do whatever it takes to give us children (short of endangering my health and short of me giving birth after 46 birthday).

My doc told me that they had a 44-year-old get pregnant just a couple months ago with her own eggs and she's not the first. So this 43-age-limit is becoming passe.

Best to you all!
Randa

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Mon May 23, 2005 8:50 pm

Randa, it sounds like a really good apt. but I'm confused (desperately tired). When will the 2m of trying naturally begin? Sounds like fun although - never having ttc naturally myself - I've heard it's not fun at all. Usually too organised and functional. If you want a dye test first, when would that be? being stupid here - is it via a lap, do they open the tube close to the ovary and inject a dye or just inject straight through somehow? wouldn't that potentially cause more tubal damage?. If I'm being fluffy and daft here - just point me in the right direction please!

Yes I have four incisions. One under my belly button and 3 smaller, all neatly aligned with my c-section scar, one at each end and one in the middle. Not sure what the one in the middle is all about......

I know, I know re. when to stop. I was thrown by the consultant and didn't get to dicuss it with DF afterwards. I want to give him to think about it himself. He really feels that we've tried and tried but maybe need to get on with our lives with what we have, not what we haven't. If that makes sense. I should say though, he'd do almost anything to have another child. He also wants us to travel again, we both want to move from this shockingly bad house purchase, I need to kick-start my business if I'm not planning to wind it down for a baby break etc. etc. Plus he's concerned about the small matter of what I'm doing to my body each time - both with the medicines and emotionally.

BigJ. No talks really with DF for a while. He's on nights and so we slip past each other for less than 30mins in the morning (whilst one of us dresses DD) so hardly premium 1:1 discussion time. His week off starts Thursday (he works week on/week off) so we'll have plenty of time after that.

Yes it could have been going back to the clinic and all its associations. Plus it's quite hard dealing with people who are convinced we should keep trying. How will we ever stop....

am going round in circles now. I need to get off the pc for the night.

Meaty meat indeed......

hugs to you both,
Debra

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Mon May 23, 2005 9:03 pm

Debra,
I wasn't clear before. We would start trying naturally immediately following this IVF. So, July/August. Then begin our last IVF Sept.
I believe they would go through my belly button to do the dye thing. I'm really not sure. I'll find out soon, because I feel it's important. If they say it is damaging, then I guess we'll go blindly into the 2 months of ttc naturally, not knowing if my tubes are blocked or not. But I really hate to do that.

Sorry about your house situation. BUMMER! Buying a house is supposed to be a positive. Is it like that movie "The Money Pit" with Tom Hanks? What a nightmare that just kept unfolding!

Good luck with your decisions.

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Tue May 24, 2005 4:56 pm

Hi D and Randa

just popping in to let you know I have read up your stories but am under strict instuctions from the accupressurist not to sit tonight....going to set up the lap top by the sofa tomorrow...

Back much better something went "click" this afternoon, the accupressurist was fantastic

and I feel much more relaxed.

so glad you are starting now Randa

glad you sound a bit more cheerful D, roll on Thursday and quality time with dh

will talk properly tomorrow

Love and kisses

bigJ

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue May 24, 2005 6:45 pm

Julie - what does an accupressurist do? lean on the needles - lol! Really glad it helped, hope you're following their advice to the letter?

Randa. Thanks for clarifying. I'm 2 hours ahead of what the board shows my posts as being so it was late, given my early start. Re. the moneypit. No it's not that kind of problem, unfortunately. We've moved into a very nice house in a very crowded area. We're closely surrounded by other houses on all 4 sides + 2 more squeezed in almost like a circle around us. Every window is overlooked and thus noise is a problem. I've always had problems with neighbour noise, I'm overly sensitive to it and have slept with ear-plugs most of my life. This new house is not only surrounded but surrounded by kids. Loads of them, late curfews and 3m wide trampolines. Our latest problem is a 0615 radio wake up. I did speak to the boy about it today, we'll find out tomorrow if he gives a hoot.

Hunger is making me bad-tempered. I force myself to eat healthily during tmt + pgy but can't be bothered when DF's at work and I'm alone. Ho hum....stop complaining Debra.

hugs
Debra

geordie jill · Post by **geordie jill** » Wed May 25, 2005 11:02 am

Hi guys
thanks for the invite to join the tread just a quick hi DF is home in an hour so trying to keep calm!
Great to hear of the successes in the 40+ crown people are generaly so pessamistic.

Load of reassurance about ec trying not to make a mental monster out of it so thanks for that.

Don't want to know where my clinic comes on the legue table might take away my confidance if it doesn't rate highly but I do know they will take even difficult cases and i think this must have an effect on the figures I prefere to talk about individual's chances of success. What do you think? Am i being nieve (sorry about my spelling i'm dislecsic)

all take care
Jillx

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Wed May 25, 2005 4:59 pm

Hi Jill

Big warm welcome to the 40+ thread - we are totally potty and we love being ++++++++++++++++ve and if that means naive sometimes then so be it, all of us have been through life's rich corridors long enough to know there are plenty of problems if you look for them

Don't worry about your spelling - I can't type to save my life and am too impatient to take it slowly, also I speak German most of the time here so my English spelling is shot to s*** so I make loads of sps Sounds like you have chosen a clinic who are specialised at difficult cases, in which case their general results would be misleading, I agree you are being sensible, it's your case that counts. Is yours a difficult case?? (forgive me if you have posted it elsewhere

)

D - what are you like

the accupressurist doesn't use needles atall you banana

that's why I like her

Seriously it's much more painful

than normal accupressure as they massage along the meridians and things and push on the pain points until the pain stops (called accomodation). It works a dream for me, the only therapy that ever did in years of back trouble. They also use aromotherapy and music to relax you, but at the moment of course I am on plain oils.Seeing her again tomorrow at 2pm to help get through the wait for the results..

I know what you mean about neighbour noise

I am terrible, I hate neighbours

I sleep with ear plugs too

That's why we want to live on an ex-farm, that way we have peace and the doggies (and the kids we hope) can be as noisy as they like..

Not like where we live now Grrrrrrr

Randa - you are not to get yourself in a state about harvesting OK??? or I'll send the bigJ East-End Boyz round

..If I had my own eggs, I'd harvest them like mad. when the clock decides that's it there is no mercy, I went from a maybe IVF to a are you joking within 6-9months, so you harvest away girl. I trust you can donate embryos if you have some left??? or haven't you though about that??? or isn't it allowed??? I think I would donate if I were blessed with too many

I had the tube test and they put dye through a catheter that went in via my cervix, no incisions, maybe you are having a different test??? You are brave for trying naturally, I wish you and dh well, although I agree with D, after dh had his reversal and sperms were OK they said despite antibodies there was a chance, of course then we didn't know about the POF, and were waiting for the IUI, anyway, I didn't enjoy that sex atall because it's under time pressure. It's not romantic like when you have years and you say, "lets start making babies sweetie" as you jump off the wardrobe with the wet celery flying

....just don't want you to put yourself under pressure sweetie

So one more sleep to go..........I am scared but fatalistic, already bought a new skirt today incase we have to go back to Barcelona

Love and kisses

bigJ

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Wed May 25, 2005 5:06 pm

Sorry girls

I'm intruding but I just wanted to send Big J huge hugs, love, PMA and best wishes for tomorrow.

You've been such a power-boost for me and a true spirit of friendship and I just wanted to let you know that I wish you loads of luck tomorrow. I'm sure everything will be wonderful. Fingers and everything are crossed for you.

Speak to you soon

Love and hugs

Little P

The Over 40 Crowd

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