The 30-40 Group

[I-1-2-b-a-mum]

A "quick" Visit...

Danielle – Great to have you here! You’re in good company starting your 1st IVF. This thread has had a high number of successful 1st timers this month, so hoping it rubs off on you We’ll give you all the support you need.

Niccy and LisaB75, it seems you’ll be cycling together? I promise you’ll both be in your 2ww in no time, then it takes YEARS for it to end Have you “practiced” with the Injects yet, we had to do it with an empty syringe.

Sml – Hope visit with MIL is going well. Can’t believe you start your cycle so soon. How exciting! Btw, do they charge you in London for those Immunology disorder blood tests or does the NHS cover it?

It’s great that your surge has arrived Jan at least you can finally get this show on the road and "Hi" to all the other ladies – too numerous to mention I hope everything is going well for you. You’re all in my thoughts and prayers. I’m actually going to bed right now because I have a “busy” day ahead and won’t get the chance to write it tomorrow but I have a ?, for anyone of you.

A little problem….
An emotionally draining weekend. As today is my birthday dh took me shopping (Sml – we went to Lulemon’s, bought a few “mummy” items, actually thought of you whilst I was there ) and then went out to dinner, ordinarily this would have been a lovey experience, however, it was interrupted by heavy conversations with a (newish) friend, who had attended my b’day gals night out yesterday ….Now, what started out as a great gals night, ended up as a bit of a train wreck; On announcing to friends that I was finally pregnant thanks to IVF. I couldn’t help but notice one friend was silent and in the barrage of congrats & questions, she’d disappeared to the ladies for a while, so I slipped in there and found her in tears, she told me she and dh had been ttc naturally for 3 yrs, (we’ve been hanging out as friends for 6 months but she never mentioned it) and couldn’t stand the thought of another person around her being pregnant, while she wasn’t. So a long story short, we talked and I ended up spending the rest of the night with her in the toilets trying to comfort her, advising her of other options, ie: fertility clinics, I agreed that I would help her get info, etc. So, today she called apologising for ruining my night (which she didn’t) but insisted on me explaining every detail of my experience with IVF, then and there. I know she’s hurting so I answered all her calls and talked as long as she needed (dh was not too impressed, as she was aware we were celebrating my actual b’day today together).

My problem is this: dh does not like her (never really has), he says she has a lot of “negative” energy. She has a tendency to exhibit jealousy (over relationships, friendships and even silly material things) and he says he just doesn’t trust her. I think putting infertility aside, she’s just insecure and needs a friend, so I want to help her with this; give her info, provide support etc, but dh thinks I should steer clear….What do you think??

I'm knackered and I'm going to bed...
Hasta la vista, babies!

[saraid]

Dear I-1-2-B,

Second time at trying to reply - lost my entire previous message, arghh computers!

I had a similar experience with a friend with same personality. She did not have fertility problems just incredibly insecure. Having just gone through IVF i know it is easy to want to help. I would say give her suport nad friendship but safeguard yourself emotionally.

I eventually broke off the friendship as i could not cope with her snide comments about my life, acheivements or dissapointments. She took all the time and never gave back any support.

Sometimes are DH's can be vey astute, especially as we get more emotionally involved.

Goodluck with what you decide honey, a tough one.

Saraid
xx

[LisaB75]

Well hello to all of you ladies! Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I have been reading all of your posts trying to catch up. I started my stimms on 3/18 and feel like a bloated cow today - but I am happy, nonetheless.

I12b - sorry for the mix-up on your job. Still sounds exciting though. My daily scenery consists of an industrial park full of semi trailers but my job has good benefits and I work with great people! About the injections - I have been injecting Lupron for weeks but was surprised at the difference with the stimms - it really burned going in and it left a huge bruise on my belly. Guess that would make me a SPOTTED, bloated cow! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Your friend was probably a little insensitive to bring all of the infertility stuff up on your b-day night out but, since we are all there and know the emotional rollar coaster, I am sure you could see where she was coming from. You are a wonderful to be giving her advice based on what you have been through. My ex sis-in law waited 9 yrs before having her darling little girl and I lean on her constantly for advice and support. Your friend is lucky to have you, as are all of us!!
How are you feeling? Any morning sickness, etc??

Angela - Cheer up girl! I totally understand how you are feeling - I get down in the dumps for no reason and then, next hour I am laughing. Hang in there - we're here for you!

Jan - glad your IUI went well. And it is great that you and your DH have a great sense of humor about it all. I am sure that helps the stress of the situation. And I don't blame you for being lazy today - you deserve it! Only a couple of weeks until that vacation - LUCKY!!

Niccy - good luck to you, cycle buddy!

Nickimark - sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. It is crazy that we can send people to the moon but we can't cure the common cold! Hope you feel better soon.

One last remark - regarding Jessica Simpson. My sis bought a tabloid mag over the weekend (not sure which one) and it said that Jessica is currently filming a movie in which she plays a pregnant woman so she has been walking around England with a "stunt tummy". Just FYI.

That's it for now - Hi to anyone I may have not mentioned and I hope you all have a great Monday!

[angelamw]

Hi everyone, Sorry this will only be a very short post. We have had a nightmareish day at work today and have only just finished. It should have been our day off but we agreed to open to hold a large funeral for one of our members. DH just gone off to fetch chinese so I thought I would just drop you a quick line while I am waiting for him to get back. Then it is time to put our feet up for the rest of the night.

It is scan time tommorow.

I12B Happy birthday. Hope you sort out the problem with your friend. It sounds like she needs a good friend. Maybe the infertility has been what has been causing her negative thoughts. Don't let it upset DH though

Jan, Hope you are relaxing after IUI

Nickimark. hope you are feeling better. both DH and I have had a run of colds since october and are really fed up of them.

Hello to everyone else and hope you are all well

Well that is all for now as I need to get the plates ready

[sml]

Hi Ladies,

A day or so away due to MIL entertaining. All is well, and she is enjoying her stay though I have not yet divulged anything. Am leaning towards it though and just need to work up my nerve. Many thanks again for all the input!

Jan: Congrats on the IUI!!! And, they're off.....!!!! So glad to hear that all went well and that you took the day to rest up for the "rendezvous." Personally, I have a good feeling that your sexy 40's "girl" has wooed DH's "boys" her way! (Though had quite the giggle at DH's Star Trek analogy too...!) We will have to find lots of ways to keep you distracted on the 2ww. As a good "board" friend, I will, for your sake, try to indulge in as many celeb mags as possible so that I can keep you entertained with good gossip over the next little while.

Danielle: Welcome! Glad we can all be here to give you support (and a giggle) during your first cycle. I cycled for the first time in Jan/Feb and this site really helped me through it all. There are lots of wonderful women here with great senses of humor, big hearts, and excellent advice.

Nickimark: Ugh, aren't colds the worst?! I like to drink a concoction of some ginger grated or sliced into a small pot of water, brought to a boil and steeped for about ten minutes, and then drunk with lemon and honey throughout the day -- it really helps (and tastes great)!

Angela: Hang in there -- these meds take us on quite the crazy roller coaster. We're here for you (and I will, I'm sure, be in dire need of some cheering up when the mood swings begin for me in a month's time!) Sounds like quite the rough day at work today. Glad that DH is feeding you and that you will have some time to put your feet up -- fingers crossed for the scan tomorrow!!!

I12b: First off, totally understand re: nickname! So sorry -- am a bit superstitious as well and completely get it. I just must have just gotten carried away with excitement for you!

And secondly, Happy Birthday!!!! Glad you indulged in some LuLu Lemon maternity wear -- enjoy!!! It does sound like it was a slightly stressful "girls'" night out. And oh, I can totally relate to your situation with your new "friend." I have to say, I would probably respond exactly as you did (comfort a friend, or even a newish acquaintance in need, sometimes at the expense of my own "fun") and DH would definitely respond as yours did. (In fact he has used those exact words -- she has "negative energy" -- many a time!) I can only speak for myself but, as much as I dispute it at the time, so often DH has bee very attune to things that I can't quite see regarding certain female friendships, particularly the kind where it's all take and no give. I think it is wonderful that you are offering her guidance but, and this is not meant to be too harsh, try to keep some boundaries up as well (just so you don't end up being her 24/7 fertility counsellor/therapist!). Have been in plenty a situation where I have felt completely drained by "helping" a "friend" in those ways and you need to be a bit selfish and take care of yourself over the next several months.

As for the immunological tests, I am not sure if they are covered by NHS in the UK. We are on an expat package and have private insurance which, fortunately, covers (limited) IVF expenditures.

LisaB75: You made me laugh out loud with your spotted cow jokes! Hope the bloating and discomfort subsides -- but I hear you, there were times last cycle when I just felt ridiculously balloon like. Tx for the Jessica tidbit -- will have to lurk the london streets and see if I spot her and her prosthetic bump!

Hello to the rest of the crew -- hope you all had good Mondays and wishing you a wonderful rest of the week!

xx sml

[LisaB75]

Hey SML - balloon-like is exactly how I feel. A friend gave me advice to keep drinking water and it will help the bloating subside. I bet I have downed at least 6 bottles and haven't had to "go" once!! lol! Where is it all going?? I think I am going to bust a button!

Thank you everyone, I have laughed and smiled several times today reading your posts!

[Niccymc]

Hello to everyone,

Good to hear all your stories - it certainly has cheered me up.

Tonight I am feeling ...well.... numb is the best way to describe it. My sis-in-law had her baby this evening a wee boy and all is well . But I have just blocked all emotion out of my head . My poor hubbie is being extremely nice which is only irritating me and it isn;t his fault. I just want to bury my head in the sand. I know myself and in a couple of days I will get over being completely selfish and then feel guilty. I think this is where this web site comes in extremely handing - I can rant and rave, say things I would be mortified if anyone else know I was insanely thinking and it gets it out of my system.

I went to phone my best friend but then thought I cant tell her all this and unload my emotions as she is 7 months pregnant and might think I am thinking the same way towards her, so I am going to give everyone the body swerve for a few days till I get my head together.

Thanks for listening . Will now try and get more positive for Saturday. The first set of injections are needle and syringe, it is the second lot there are in a pen. ho hum better go and do some work now.......

LOL NICCYX

[I-1-2-b-a-mum]

Niccy – Sorry to hear you’re feeling the way you do. It’s never easy dealing with this stuff. You’re right, this website is good for ranting of all sorts. I’m sure when you eventually go down to see your nephew, you’ll feel nothing but pride and adoration. Do something nice for yourself to make you feel better and just remember how happy you’ll be when your day comes.

Wow you chicks rock! Thanks for your advice re: my little dilemma. Conclusion: Decided to keep my distance but assist her a little with IVF info. I’m already feeling drained and uncomfortable with her “acting out”. After spending today with her, it’s obvious her issues go deeper than infertility and I’m just not equipped to deal with that, so as some of you have said, dh is right on the nose with this one.

On a lighter note, celeb tidbits: Demi Moore, due to fertility issues (apparently 2 m/c in the last 8 months), Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are looking into adoption. What a shame we miss out on a combination of Demi and Ashton, not sure if Bruce feels that way though.

Have a wonderful week ladies!

[angelamw]

A quick visit to say the scan went well and I have got 3 follies developing well on left side so it is all go for treatment on wednesday morning. Got 1 more menopour injection now and then HCG tonight. Will post more later
Angela

angelamw - IUI treatment on 23/3
lisa b75 - start sims on 18/3
eminde - testing on 15/3 - Good luck -BFP
staceymarie - testing on 15/3 - Good luck BFP
niccymc - Appointment for start of IVF 15/3 - Good luck
jan33 - waiting for LH surge
traci - BFP, edd 24. November (expecting a butterball turkey!)
rachel - IVF apr 06
Jen
i12b - Jan 06 BFP (baby due Oct 30th)
MLG - 2nd Scan 16/3, ER + ET the next week,
sml - waiting for AF, then BC pill for 2 weeks then nasal spray
nickimark - 3 months 6 days until 4th DIUI cycle
buffalojen - new member
macca8 - 3 months 3 weeks 4 days until 4th ICSI

[LisaB75]

Hello everyone. Got into work an hour early today so I thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing. My head is not in the right place today - my dh and I are arguing and we have a friend that is seriously ill and in the hospital so things are really stressful at the moment. Plus there is a shmuck at my work who is irritiating the crap out of me. I am sure I will feel better soon but I though I would just "vent" to you for a minute.

Niccy - I know how you are feeling. I have a good friend who is due to give birth this week. She went thru 4 yrs of ttc and 4 IUI's before she finally became pg on her own. Although I am extremely happy for her, there is always a sad little twinge in the back of my heart tugging at me - I just keep telling myself that my time is coming. And, like I12b said - once I see her darling little girl I will be absolutely thrilled that I have another little child around to love. And you said your best friend is 7 mos along - I imagine that is somewhat hard on you too. I have 6 pg friends/relatives in my life right now so I completely understand how you feel. Hopefully, very soon, you and I will be able to join them!

Angela - i am excited for you! Can't wait to hear how things go for you - I am sending lots of babydust your way! Good luck to you and your 3 follies.

I have a scan tomorrow AM to see how I am progressing. It is my first scan since starting stimms, so I don't know exactly what to expect. Still, I am excited that this is moving forward. Time seems to be going a little quicker now.

To everyone else - hope you are all doing well! Take care.

[Eminde]

Lisa - GOOD LUCK for tomorrow's scan!!!! Am sending the follie fairy your way

Angela - how exciting for you - best of luck for Wednesday! Don't work too hard though - hope you can relax a bit during your 2ww.

I12b - by all means help out your friend with the IVF issues but of course you can't be there 24/7 for her. But I know how much I appreciated at the beginning to talk to someone who'd been through it, although I certainly didn't make it the only topic of conversation I'm sure you'll deal with the situation well.

Niccy - not long till you start now so keep concentrating on that and you'll soon feel better about all those babies/pregnant ladies around you. You will be one soon!!

sml - good luck telling your MIL then. Will you do it together with DH?

Jan - glad you are resting! How do you feel? Loved the humour you've injected into this whole business What else can you do?? Dominican Republic will be a lovely location. We went to the Caribbean for our honeymoon and with the all-inclusive you can totally chill.

Nicki - have you managed to shake your cold yet? Mine just won't go away. I don't usually get them so it's very annoying. I'm going to try sml's tip though - sounds yum too! My sisters swear by Lemsips.

Stacy Marie - I'm feeling OK thanks although a little worried as I'm bleeding at the moment and keep having AF pains (not constant, only twinges). I'm hoping the scan and bloods tomorrow will put my mind at rest. When is your first scan?

Danielle - welcome here! It's a great thread where you'll get lots of support and some welcome light relief. We are pretty much an international group so you'll learn loads about different countries' tmts.

Hope everyone else is doing well?

Eminde xx

[angelamw]

Good evening all. There have been so many posts today it has taken me an age to read through them all.

Jan - How is it going. not heard from you today

sml - is MIL still here. Have you told her yet?

Eminde - Good luck with your scan

Stacey - How are you getting along

i12b - What a dilema with your friend. Hope she is not using you as too much of a prop. DH complains that whenever anyone is in trouble I always volunteer to help then end up screwing myself proping them up. Don't let that happen to you as you need your mental strength for you and baby. Keep up the celebrity gossip. It keeps us entertained and gives you an excuse to put your feet up and read the mags for us.

Danielle - Welcome to this thread. The poeple on here are great and will keep you entertained all the way through your treatment

Lisa - Good luck for your scan. Sorry to you are not having a good day and that your friend is ill. Hope she picks up soon.

Niccy - I really feel for you. I have a very good friend who is 7 months gone and lives about an hour away. Usually we get together about once a month and talk on the phone regulailry. Since we found out about her pregnancy , she already has 2 children, it has been harder and harder to phone or see her as the little green monsters keep lurking in my mind and to be frank I am jellous. She already has 2 wonderful children and falls pregnant on the first day of trying for no3. Why does it happen to her and not me. Now don't get me wrong I am really pleased for her but at times I do wonder what I have done wrong to deserve infertility. I think it has affected DH as well because everytime I suggest going over he comes up with an excuse not to.

Hello to everyone else on this thread.
Angela

Danielle - Welcome
angelamw - IUI treatment on 23/3
lisa b75 - start sims on 18/3
eminde - testing on 15/3 - Good luck -BFP
staceymarie - testing on 15/3 - Good luck BFP
niccymc - Appointment for start of IVF 15/3 - Good luck
jan33 - waiting for LH surge
traci - BFP, edd 24. November (expecting a butterball turkey!)
rachel - IVF apr 06
Jen
i12b - Jan 06 BFP (baby due Oct 30th)
MLG - 2nd Scan 16/3, ER + ET the next week,
sml - waiting for AF, then BC pill for 2 weeks then nasal spray
nickimark - 3 months 6 days until 4th DIUI cycle
buffalojen - new member
macca8 - 3 months 3 weeks 4 days until 4th ICSI

[Danie454]

Thank you for my warm welcome!

Everyone is so nice here! I feel so much better hearing everyones stories and seeing what everyone is going through.


I will be starting my Gonal F ( i think everyone calls that Stims) on Thursday March 23th.

I will be doing a scan on the 27th to see my progression.

Have a great day!
Hugs to everyone!

Danielle

[I-1-2-b-a-mum]

Danielle – It’s great to hear from you again I find this thread fantastic, the girls are wonderful! they offer PMA, humour and celeb goss, a truly out of the ordinary thread and “newbies” as yourself, who wish to jump in and join us, are always more than welcome. Whatever question you have I’m sure there’ll be someone happy to answer it (the entire site holds a wealth of knowledge). Are you currently on Synarel (or a different ovary suppressant)? How are you feeling? How’s dh dealing with things? I’m just curious (if you don’t mind me asking), are both your tubes still open???

Jan – sweetie hope everything’s okay, we haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. I know how life gets in the way Now you've got your IUI on the road, hope you’re now preparing for your vacation When you mentioned your dh’s reference to StarTrek (btw, very cute ), I thought, “thank god, some other poor woman’s dh is also obsessed with that bloody show!”. Now it’s just re-runs I am not forced to watch it, however, I still have nightmares of having to watch the “Star Trek, The New Generation".........Dh being a Sci-Fi buff, we’ve almost come to blows because he thinks he’s naming our first born – Morpheus or Trinity (Hello???!!) Now, we don’t even talk about baby’s names anymore.

Angela – Thanks for your advice re: my friend. Things must be ticking on pretty quickly for you now. One more day to go and it’s “d” day, well done you made it! …..I hope you’re not too nervous. Imagine, there’ll come a time when you can look back at all of this and smile, thinking it was all worth it. Sending you tons of PMA and buckets of babydust.

Niccy – Hope you’re doing okay sweetie. As Angela says getting the envy bug and the feeling of “when is it my turn” is absolutely normal but it goes away pretty quick, then you’re back in the land of the living. Hoping you’re feeling better.

Eminde – Don’t worry about the spotting. Since I stopped my Progest. (10 days ago) I have been spotting almost every day. At first I was really scared but dr swore on the head of his first born that I wouldn’t get my period (and miscarry), as he was doing all the checks. The spotting has always been very light but it’s stopped for 4 days now and no period, so poor Jr Dr's head is no longer in danger. I made it clear to doc, that he needn't worry about his eldest son, it was his other "boys" he'd have to worry about, if he got it wrong. So I guess we're all happy now.

Saraid – When is your next ultrasound? Thanks for advice re: friend. Sweetie, it didn't take long before I had almost reached the point you made. You and the others made it clearer for me, so thanks, you young wise old owl

To all you other lovely ladies, I hope you’re doing well and I can’t wait until you all fill your rightful places in the “30-40 group” Maternity Ward, so we can all share our “war stories” together with a bit of nostalgia and a sigh of relief. So sending you lots of babydust from the Mat ward and thinking of you.

[Tracii]

Hi Girls - I am still here..I drove to Vienna on Sunday and haven't had much time to write or catch up on the news Having 2 houses is a pain because I feel like all I do is clean - and I am getting really tired of it. We have our house in Munich for sale so it always has to be spotless and then I come back to Vienna and have to clean after DH (although he does try - he doesn"t do the nitty gritty stuff). So yesterday I found someone to help...and I figured maybe, just maybe she can help me more once the baby arrives.

Today I finally, finally have sore BBs - but it could also be from me poking them all the time! Still Af cramping coming and going and feeling tired....all in all don't feel preggers..somehow I feel like I have a slight flu or hangover. Friday I have the first scan.

I will catch up on everyone's news...now that I can relax in a clean house