Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[blessed143]

Hey Ladies..... I am new on the board and I am hoping to cycle in the next month..... fingers crossed. I am going to be going through my pretest, saline infusion and trial transfer next week. I am so excited and anxious. Just looking for a place to be able to talk about it all..... Thanks!!! I pray for everyone on here!!!!

[WeHaveHope]

Hey Ladies..... I am new on the board and I am hoping to cycle in the next month..... fingers crossed. I am going to be going through my pretest, saline infusion and trial transfer next week. I am so excited and anxious. Just looking for a place to be able to talk about it all..... Thanks!!! I pray for everyone on here!!!!

Blessed143-I love you name. Welcome to the Fall Board. I am appy that you found us. Here you will find ladies that are going through the same things and feeling that you are. Some of us have been on these boards for a while. So please feel free to ask away. Please don't be shy. We are all here to help and support each other. I will officially add you to the Fall Roll Call after this post so we can all follow each other progress. I hope to get to know you better. Welcome again.

[WeHaveHope]

UPDATED 09-15-11 @ 10:03pm EST. Please let me know if I have missed anyone or if I'm missing any updates. Sending you lots of xoxoxo.







UPDATE NEEDED
Melinda72-ER 9-12-11


Fvrogers-FET 9-22-11
Akdelp-On Estrace for FET on 9-22-11
WeHaveHope-On Lupron & Estrogen patches for FET on 9-30-11
Jen8675309-FET 10-13-11


Becca-Fall/2011
Tamera-11/2011
Kiminsh-Fall/2011
Alwaysangel-Fall/2011
Sunshine1576-Fall/2011
Lyd10-Fall/2011
Anton-Fall/2011
Fruit-Fall/2011
Krrice28-RE appointment moved up to 9-14 for IVF 10/2011
Jasmin-Fall/2011
Rosie84-IVF Late Oct/2011
Cheri76-Day 3 blood work on 9-9-11 for Fall IVF
LauraN-Nov/2011
Blessed143-Fall/2011


Neffi211-waiting for AF. Transfer scheduled for 10-28-11
Sky7371-waiting for AF to start BCP for 1st IVF attempt 10-28-11


Blueeyedreamer-on BCP for cycle 10/2011
Kerpupples-on BCP for cycle Fall/2011
JenMink55-Start BCP on 9-14-11 for Fall IVF
Leorira-On BCP for FET 11/2011.



Kendra_n_Michael-on Lupron, estimated ER 9-20-11
Toniaa-Started Gonal F for IVF Fall/2011
Kamina-On Bravelle & Menspur for Fall IVF



Indigofire-ER 9-13-11, estimated ET 9-16-11
K8ielovett-ER 9-14-11, ET 9-19-11



Sunshine and stars-PUPO on 9-12-11. Transferred 2 5day blasts.


RESULTS

[Sunshine1576]

Yay Blessed, so glad you joined us over here!

[JenMink55]

Thanks Sunshine for showing me how to upload a picture! It's REALLY BIG even though I tried to reduce the size haha. So until I figure it out you guys get a big fat picture of me and DH

UPDATE-- It's smaller now

[Kamina]

Sunshine - at least they have isolated the problem. Have hope it can be resolved. Just keep thinking health mama healthy baby.

Always - please give your body the time to heal, again, healthy mama, healthy baby. My HCG took forever to come down too.

WeHaveHope - yeah I am still holding on to a watch your baby grow and a ton of other test. I guess I will throw or give away after this last attempt. The lupron was making me loopy and fiesty. I was highly irritated. But now that I am also taking the bravelle and menopur my emotions have calmed down. I would start cursing when the phone rang. lol Who the hell is it now!

k8ie- 10 embryos!!!! How wonderfully fantastic. Sounds like your husband is just as excited as you. Monday is going to go great.

blessed - hello

[LYD10]

D&C went very well. it hardly hurt at all. maybe cramping for about 30 sec during it. it was over in 15 min. i was back at work right after. i am glad we were able to get it done so quickly! now i can look forward to my hcg going down and getting through my 2 upcoming AFs


Leora - i am glad you sound a bit better. and i am glad you have a support network of therapists to lean on. i hope you start feeling better soon!!!

[sky7371]

I didn't mean to worry everyone -- DH forced some food down my throat, a friend came over and watched America's Next Top Model with me (mine and her FAVORITE show!) and I had a long talk with a cousin of mine. I'm feeling better - not as extreme. No worries that I'll hurt myself, okay? (I told DH about not caring about crashing the car and he cried with me. I think the biggest thing that stops each of us from hurting ourselves is not wanting to hurt the other.)

I have a psychiatrist (as well as 2 different therapists!) and I'll be calling his office tomorrow (even though Friday/Saturday is our weekend here). Hopefully, he'll prescribe something to help me sleep over the weekend and I'll meet with him next week.

What's weird is that I was at therapy yesterday, but feeling fine. I have my therapist's phone number and email address, maybe I'll send her a message that I'm feeling really bad.

I think the most important thing is that I REALIZE that I'm feeling unusually bad and I start looking for help. Just knowing that I can get help and I can feel differently makes me know that there is hope and helps get me through it.

Just a particularly bad week, I guess. A few triggers (anniversary of the miscarriage, DH's birthday, etc) this week. Life is just so much harder than I thought it would ever be.

Hi leorira- I have been reading your post and just felt the urge to respond to you, I cant imagine what your going thru and how difficult this has all been for you and you dh. loosing a child is something you will never over come but as time passes it will get easier. you will always wonder what could of been and how diffrnt your life would be but youve got to remember that God has a plan for us all , we may not understand it but as a friend told me "we cant fly in the eyes of the lord". My sister inlaw lost her son he was 6 months old it will be a year ago sept.24 and I was there everyday of his life he was like my own... Im not trying to say i understand what your going thru completly but I do understand what its like to hold a baby in your arms love it with every breath in your body and not be able to make everything okay. Her baby was born without an immune system and despite taking him to doctor after doctor they didnt diagnose his condition untill it was to late, i seen times when i felt what you are feeling like it would be easier just to ... well not exsist, to give up , again im not compairing my situation to yours, and im hope im not upsetting you. I watched my sis inlaw and her husband and it made me sick everytime i seen them for the pain they had to endure but they found strength in the lord and they conceived this year the same month their little boy would have turned a year old, it has brought joy back to their lives. This month has been rough but the precious little girl they are carring due december gives them a reason to stay strong. sorry for rambeling on but my point is stay strong for your dh yourself and your future beautiful babies and when your at your lowest point talk to Jesus ask him for strenth an he will deliver . If you ever need to talk I stalk this board and like i told my sister inlaw if you need someone to laugh with ill be your comedian if you wanna ***** about life hey im all ears and if you need to cry ill cry a river with you . I know you dont have a clue who i am but like i said somethin just pulled me to your post and i hope i havnt upset anyone or went on to long but Ill leave you with words our priest told my sister inlaw and her dh "a lot of ppl can say their children is good or spoiled or ect.. but how many ppl can say their child is an angle playng with Jesus..
sky

[anton]

Hi everyone!

..boy! this board is moving pretty fast! I better try and catch up...

Leora
I am so sorry you feel so bad and I wish I could do something to make you feel better. Don’t worry, with what you’ve been through its only normal to be feeling the way you do. You need to give some time to yourself to breathe and grieve for your losses. Again, I am terribly sorry you are in this situation. This is SO unfair is so many ways. Go see your therapist it will only make you feel good! And just by realising that you need his help is a great step for you to find peace with yourself. Don’t forget not even for a minute that you are a strong and determine woman and you WILL get that miracle baby of yours SOON! I can’t possible explain to you how anxious I am to celebrate with you on that day! you are always in my prayers honey! (((hugs)))


Sunshine
Your furbabies look amazing! ...I don’t believe my OBgyn will ever recommend me another Dr. or clinic as he himself is a well known fertility doctor as well, and a high risk Dr. as well. But if he was just a regular OBgyn then for sure he would have...so, thunders in your area ha; well, the sun is still shining in my part of the world and even though I LOVE summer, I would love to see some rain now. This summer is taking too long...correct me if I am wrong but from what I’ve read, if you have a problem gaining weight and you have a thyroid problem that means you have HYPERrthyroidism. If you have trouble losing weight then is HYPOthyroidism. I never had a problem with my weight, never been on a diet in my life! And after my first IVF I was diagnosed with HYPOthyroidism. I have gained 8kg in just a few months and I thought that it was because of the hormones and ivf stuff. and my RE told me that hormones take a great part of our metabolism and by having IVF and all that meds that come with it might cause someone either Hypo or Hyperthyroidism. Once I was diagnosed they told me I should wait for at least 6 weeks and test and if my levels where considered normal then I could start an IVF cycle. TSH levels are crucially important when TTC. You need to be patience on that as it is vital for a healthy pregnancy. I am glad that yopu found what is seems to be the problem. That means you are on the right track! I wish you Good Luck honey!


Fruit
Yes, I have discussed a kind of a plan with my RE but is not like we’ve sign anything. I don’t think it hurts to ask my OBgyn’s opinion and why not go back to him for my next cycle. If he has something else to offer or suggest then I would definitely consider starting my next cycle with him. as I said in a previous post, both Doctors are awesome and sometimes a change can bring that BFP! ...wishful thinking...thank you for your kind words on my cooking and your suggestion opening a restaurant! All my friends keep saying me this

Tamera
I am too a cheesecake lover! It is my speciality when it comes to cakes/sweets. Actually on Sunday we are invited to a surprise birthday party for one of my friend’s wife and I am making a Cheesecake for her as a birthday cake...it’s her favourite cake and she is pregnant and I thought making one for her will make her happy. ...as for PGD, I have never done but hoping to do one this time. I wanted to do the last cycle too but I didn’t have enough embryos to do it. my RE and embryologist advice me that a good number to proceed with the test and get something good out of it is to test at least 5-8 embryos. Anything less than that can give false info. I mean, if I test 3-4 embryos and none of them turns out to be normal is not going to be a good picture of what is going on. The more the sample the better picture you get of your embryos status. Maybe all of them are normal or maybe out of 8 only one is good to transfer. Whatever the case, I have also read and heard good things about this test and so after so many BFN’s maybe the embryos will answer the question of why not a BFP yet. I wish you good luck dear!


Alwaysangel
I hope it ends really soon for you my friend so that you can move to your FET asap! I wish you a BFP and have a healthy baby/ies next time!


LYD
I am glad that D&C is behind you now and it wasn’t as bad as you have expected it to be. You are good as new now!!!

Wehavehope
I sorry you are having a bad day honey. ..tomorrow will be a better day! make yourself an appt to a spa or something for a massage and pamper yourself! Or do your hair at a salon or even manicure pedicure. They can do magic! They will help you relax, stay calm and bring back that awesome PMA you’ve got!


K8ielovett
10 embies!! That is awesome girl! Bravo! Monday is going to be a great day for your transfer! How many are you thinking of transferring? Good Luck!!!


Sunshine and stars
How’s our PUPO girl doing so far! Have you reached crazy town yet! Hang in there, your BFP is on its way! When is your beta?

Cheri76
Be patient and everything will be ok! you are getting your BFP this time girl and if losing a few bounds is what it takes then this is what you’ll do. I have a positive feeling for you! Good luck!


Fvrogers
I am glad you have worked it out with your time off. Sounds that you have great colleagues to lean on. Good luck with everything honey

LauraN
I have started doing the AF dance for you dear! And I will be dancing until that evil b*** gets here for you early October!


Margi
My dear friend! Thank you SO much for your kind words! And wishes for everyone here! Your wishing date sounds lovely! 1/11/11 , but I am sure that any day they arrive the twins are more than welcome! It’s going to be a beautiful day because they are going to meet their awesome mommy and daddy and you guys will receive your miracle! I can’t wait to celebrate that day with you! ...and stop saying you are old! A mommy to be is never old! She only wiser!


Kimish
Thank you for sharing that quote with us. It is SO appropriate for our board and all the ladies here that never stop to give courage to eachother

Crissylove
You are about to become a mama in a few weeks! That is SO exciting! Good luck and I wish you a smooth delivery!


Kamina
Yay! For getting the IVF show in the road! Good luck with your cycle!!


Blessed143
Welcome to the Fall board! Glad to have another fighter with us. You are at the right place with the right people to share your journey with! I wish you Good Luck! Is this your first IVF?


Jenmink55
You look such a loving couple! May God bless you with a child soon!

Sorry if I left someone behind...you are all in my prayers...


AFM- I had a job interview this morning and I really liked the job! The thing is that they give peanuts! The job is at a publishing house (magazines, newspaper, tv & radio all under one roof) this particular job is at the print media section for all the magazines. Fashion, lifestyle, deco etc. Part of promoting their magazines is to sponsor a lot of events e.g women of the year awards, eating awards etc. And they need a person to organise these events among other things. I found it VERY interesting but when they told me the salary I almost drop off my chair! Why! I really liked this one ...they said they will discuss my demand and their offer and get back to me. But I already know that the max they give is the minimum I’ll take....another day in paradise...i have my OBgyn appt in a couple of hrs and I have already made a list of things to ask him. its been a year to see him and we will have a lot of catching up to do.- what have I done in this year, what protocols have I used etc- I know he will be sad to not see me pregnant by now and somehow I have prepared him for that by telling the reception lady when I called to make an appt that the reason of my appt is to make a PAP test. so now he knows already. I can’t be both pregnant and make a PAP test. Actually when I called and asked for appt this week the reception first asked me if this is urgent and when I said no she told me that the next available appt with the doctor is in 2 weeks! Then I said that it is very important that I see the doctor this week because if I have just finish my period and is the right time to see him and also I want to discuss with him and some other issues. Then she told me she will ask the doctor and get back to me. She called me like 10min later and told me that the Dr. will see me this Friday at 17:45. He is such a good Dr. I am sure he didn’t want to say no to me. We got along really well during those first 4 IVF cycles I had with him. after the first 1 or 2 negatives he didn’t even charged me his own fees! Just the clinic’s. He is one of the clinic’s owners. Actually the clinic has only 3 OBGyn’s and they have a state of the art clinic. I know that at the end it doesn’t matter how the clinic looks like or if everything is new etc but what matters is that the Dr. Is good and that he will do anything to help you get a BFP and have a healthy pregnancy.

My DH is feeling sad and I can’t see him like this. Everyday we hear about friends that are announcing their pregnancies or having a baby or we are invited to a kid’s birthday party etc. Everywhere around us we see babies! This is crazy! So, i don’t know how but I try and manage well the “baby everywhere – phenomenon” but my DH is in pieces! We had a talk last night and he told me he can’t take it anymore and he is tired of trying again and again and he strongly believes that IT will never happen. Of course I cried and I cried and at the end I told him that if this is what he wants then this is what we will do. If going through another IVF will change his “mental” stage then we should stop trying....silence....he told me he was sorry for feeling and saying these things. I told him to sleep on it and we will do whatever makes him feel better. He told me that he is not happy and he can’t make me happy by giving me a baby and that he doesn’t want to take away motherhood from me by being with him etc. he finds himself responsible for all our failed cycles and believes that the reason of not having a baby so far is because of his sperm issue. Yes, i know that his sperm (low count) is the reason we are doing IVF in the first place but like all the doctors we’ve been to said, that we can’t blame the sperm for infertility. They just don’t know what is the reason why so far NO baby. But my DH is so sure that is his sperm fault and he is dragging me with him through this. I told him again as I told him hundreds of time before that WE are in this together. WE are a team and we are going to deal with this together. God! He is SO stubborn sometimes! ...Girls, you know how much I want to have a baby and you know how hard is it when you want this to happen and it doesn’t! Well, I am telling you now that if his final decision is to stop trying (& adoption is out of the question already!..) then this is what we will do. I don’t want to lose him! as much I want to have a baby I don’t want to lose him! he is my man. I love him SO much and obviously, unconditionally. I can’t imagine being with another man and even more to have another man’s baby! Having an egg donor or a sperm donor or even adopt a baby is different! At least with those options I will get to raise the baby with him! but never without him! ...Please pray that he will bring his senses SOON! it’s heartbreaking seeing him like this. I never thought I could be so strong and not feeling the same as he does. I am not there yet but if I have no choice then this is where I will be.... I was SO anxious seeing my OB today and discuss with him ideas and future plans and now I am just thinking what’s the point of discussing all these if they are not going to happen, if my DH is not up to it. I want to feel happy for so many other things that I am grateful to have in my life but I have this knot in my throat that doesn’t let me enjoy. I am sad today. Not because of me but because of him. I want to save him from this black hole he got himself into. I want to make him think positive again and see a baby in the future for us. How on earth can I do that?! This is more difficult for me than the whole IVF rollercoaster! I know tomorrow is another day and I hope God help me to find the right words and do the right things to make him change his mind. If not, I need to accept my fate. If I didn’t love him as much as I do, I would never talk like this and I would NEVER give up on trying for a baby. But he is the man I love, the man I see myself growing old with. How can I give up on that! on him! ...tomorrow is another day and I will pray for strength and patience to walk this road upon me.

Baby dust to us all!!

anton

[indigofire]

Hi ladies,

Sorry for disappearing. I've been trying to keep myself super busy to avoid thinking about this cycle.

So the what's so is that the egg donor, bless her heart, didn't respond too well. She produced 12 eggs, of which we got 6 as we were sharing her with another couple. Of those 6 it looks like 2 are doing really well. I'm very disappointed. So much money for 2 embryos. I know all it takes is one, but I was hoping for some to freeze. So now I don't know to transfer one or two. I really don't want twins for a multitude of reasons. But I want to increase the chances of getting pregnant. So caught in the middle. We'll decide today when we get the final report at the clinic.

Today is ET at noon. Hoping this is the magic embryo and we'll be having our baby in June. Trying to keep the PMA but so disappointed in numbers.

Sorry for no personals today. I haven't been online at all this week and I need to catch up with everyone.

Thanks for all the energy and sending tons of baby dust to everyone!!
Indigo

[Sunshine1576]

Indigo,
Sounds like you have a big decision to make, I can really see it both ways. I know twins would take alot to raise but at the same time you would have the complete family instantly, especially if you eventually wanted two kids like us. Dh is always talking that every child needs a sibbling, and this may increase your chance for that. Besides we are never sure of what a future FET with one embryo can bring, I am also looking at this financially speaking too. My personal standpoint would be why freeze the one embryo when you could make use of it right now and it could give you a greater chance of getting pregnant? I respect that it's a personal decision and you have to do with what feels right for you and dh.

[Sunshine1576]

Anton,
So many of us here have that strong desire for a baby. I cried this morning when I thought about my possibilities of never having a child due to my hormonal imbalance while dh blames it on his sperm motility. We also have heard of some men with zero sperm count and I tell him with that said we still have a chance. At the same time. it takes time to get the thyroid functioning normally. So we have to accept that it going to take some time but everything is going to work out if we hold on for one more day. Sometimes it takes someone else's perspective and I am so glad you have the best doctors who geniunely care and want to help you. We must keep that hope alive and the vision, because we have so much faith in this. Some days are going to be rockier then others but we hold on to each other because we are fighters. Our committment and love grows stronger and we deeply know throughout this journey, it's all worth it! xoxoxo Christy

[fruit]

Wehavehope - sorry u r feeling down today shopping and manucure / pedicure (as anton said) always make me feel better hope tomorrow will be a better day.

JenMink- nice pic for u & DH

Anton - oh my dear friend, im so sorry ur DH is feeling that way, im praying so much that next cycle u're gonna have ur BFP and God knows how much i wish to see u & DH holding this(ose) little angel(s) in your arms, but again i feel ur pain and i feel like i need to ask u if it is gonna be ur last choice why not using a sperm donor or egg donor or even an embryo donor??? after all he's gonna be your and your DH child, you're the ones who are going to love him and sacrifice for him and raise him, he will not have anyone but you, he (they) will be conceived from your love, there is a quote that say : "It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons." i will be praying for u to have all the desires of ur hearts but plz know that it is not the end of the road, im sure that very soon u're gonna have ur baby. ((((HUGS))))

indigofire - sorry u didnt go any frosties, but i'll be praying that u won't be needing them and that will u have ur BFP on this cycle, good luck on ur ET.

[to_have_fun08]

anton - Sorry I was just lurking and your post really hit home. While its your DH blaming himself it was me blaming myself in my cycles. The more cycles we did the harder and harder it was for me to keep going but i had to keep going. I felt that i had to give DH a child of his own Plus his parents a grandchild. have you guys thought about a game plan of when to say when. I had a stopping point in my head and for me this helped because I knew that my heartache would finally end at some point. For me in my mind I had to do a donor egg cycle. if that didn't work, i knew in my heart i would be OK to stop. not that it wouldn't hurt but at least i had no regrets. I also knew deep down that hubby and I have an awesome relationship and that we could handle whatever was thrown at us. Sounds like you have an awesome relationship too. I wish you all the luck in the world. You deserve to have a BFP that sticks for 9 months.

[akdelp]

Anton- I am sorry your DH is feeling like that...I wish I knew what to say... I am praying for both of you.

AFM- Had my U/S today prior to FET on thursday! Lining only needs to be a 6 and it is 16!!! YIPPIE~ Nice plump bed for my eggie! Antique Tractor show this weekend...I will be weaving on a loom!!! Did it last year and found it rather fun!

Have a great weekend ladies! Babdy dust to all!